“Barbara? The menu?”
“In a minute!” Her voice is getting shrill. She turns to me. “We can talk now; Steve can wait.”
I shake my head. “It’s okay. I feel better now that you know. We can talk later.”
“You sure this can wait?”
“Yeah.”
My mom stands up and pulls a few tissues out of the box on my end table. I think she’s going to offer me some, but she walks over to my mirror and blots the makeup collecting in the corner of her eyes. She turns back to me. “Dinner tomorrow? We’ll get this figured out.” She’s smiling — like all my troubles can be fixed in the time it takes to finish a grilled chicken salad and a couple of Diet Cokes.
She pats me on the knee. I wonder why she looks so happy, and then I realize I’ve just provided her with hours of phone-call fodder to agonize over with her friends. I think I should offer a retraction, but she’s already headed down the stairs.
I lie back on my bed. Will I get what Danny has? Extreme parenting? I almost laugh — there’s no way Mom is capable of taking it to that level, but I’ve definitely just thrown away the keys to the free booze-a-rama in the living room. Once Mom fills Steve in, he’ll lock everything up — even the cheap stuff.
At least I’ll be dealing with Michael sober tonight.
I glance over at the clock again. Time’s almost up and I still don’t know what I’m going to say to Michael. I open my night table drawer and see The Vampire Almanac lying under the stake. I wonder if the author ever imagined her readers would actually need to use any of the techniques listed in the book.
I’d bet she’d wet her pants if Michael came knocking on her window.
I think about what Lisa said; what if somehow Michael made me a vampire? Who would I come back to haunt?
The phone rings.
“Jordan, it’s for you,” Steve yells.
I lean over, wondering if it’s Lisa.
“Hello?”
“Hey just checking in.”
“Hey, Rachael.”
“What happened last night? You were supposed to sleep over but then you disappeared. Gabby was all set to leave you, but Janine and I insisted on doing a thorough search. We encountered much craziness, but no you. Some guy did think he’d seen you leave, though.”
“Sorry, I went home with Kassie. I tried to find you.”
Rachael is laughing. “You willingly spent time with Kassie? Were you totally wasted?”
“Not as bad as Kassie. We kind of drove around until she sobered up.”
“Good girl, you stuck to your plan.”
“My plan?”
“You know, not getting all trashed. And I heard about blowing off Kyle — and not the way he wanted. I think you’re showing signs of improvement! And just so you know, I told him you needed to get away from Kassie, but you were on the rebound and not to push anything.”
“I guess he didn’t quite get your drift, and I guess I shouldn’t tell you I was topless surrounded by empties before I showed signs of improvement.”
“All the better! You were sinking and you pulled yourself up. I’m reading this great book about living in the now. You should really read it and—”
“Uh, Rachael?”
“Yeah?”
“I appreciate the call, but it’s almost dark, and I have something big I need to take care of.”
“Oh. Whatever. Sorry I care.”
“No, really I’m glad you called, but it’s something big.”
“Do I get a hint?”
“I’ll tell you about it when it’s over.”
“Fine.”
She’s mad. “Actually, there is something I can tell you.”
“Yeah?” She’s trying to sound bored.
“Danny and I are together.”
Rachael is whooping it up, and I m smiling. I wish I could tell her the rest. Tell her about Michael.
“Oh, my God! When the hell did that happen? Is that the big thing? Come on, spill!”
“It happened around eight thirty this morning, but that’s not the thing I have to take care of, that’s just a very good thing. I promise I’ll fill you in on all the details, but for now I really have to go.”
“Okay.” She sounds sulky, but I can tell she’s not mad anymore.
“And Rachael, thanks for calling. It means a lot.”
“No problemo. Good luck with your thing.”
“Thanks.” I hang up the phone. “I’ll need it.” I sit up in bed and look out my window. The sky is a dark, dull gray. The branches claw at my window as the wind blows by in stiff gusts.
Michael will be here soon to make sure I don’t go out tonight. I imagine him waking, stretching stiff, cold limbs. I feel the wind sneak in around the edges of my window, and wonder if the cold air makes him move and think slower. I realize I’m clasping the cross hanging around my neck. It’s warm now from resting on my skin. I wonder how Michael is going to take my news. I wonder if Michael’s heart is too cold to break.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I watch the clock numbers change. 10:48. Where is he? I was so sure he’d be here early tonight.
Skeletal branches wave in the light across the street. I squint into the neighbor’s backyard to see if Michael is walking along the fencerow.
I look out at the streetlight again.
Someone is walking down the middle of the road. I laugh at myself for thinking it might be Michael. Michael would never be out walking where anyone could see him. I turn my gaze back to the fences that divide the properties between my street and Lisa’s, and realize that, after showing up at Mark’s party, I can’t be too sure about what he would or wouldn’t do. I look out into the street again. The person’s getting closer.
I see the light summer jacket Michael was wearing at Mark’s party; I see his hair waving in the wind.
I remember how happy I was to see Danny jogging down the street this morning. My stomach flips, and a crop of goose bumps emerge on my arms as I watch Michael coming closer to the house.
He’s strutting up the middle of the road, and for a second I think maybe he’s always come this way, I just never knew. But I don’t really think that’s true. I think things are different now.
Michael pauses in the street in front of my house. He looks up and his eyes lock onto mine. His eyes are glowing green, like a cat’s in the light, and a nasty smile emerges on his face. He points his fingers like a gun and pretends to shoot me. I flinch and his smile widens.
He jogs down the driveway and leaps into the air. My eyes pop as his body shrinks and transforms in an instant. Heavy wings beat and lift him up toward my room.
Bile rises in my throat as I watch the large bat come closer. The skin stretched taut between the long finger bones catches the moonlight, and I swallow hard. I turn away and lean back against my headboard, hugging my knees to my chest.
Why is he doing this to me? I would never ever do this to Danny.
Oh.
Oh, shit!
I get it.
I finally freaking get it!
Michael doesn’t love me. If he did, he would have left me alone. He wouldn’t have put me through three and a half months of hell.
Michael has probably wanted to kill me since the first day he showed up at my window. I actually have to admire his patience. I never would’ve thought he had it in him.
I brace myself. I need to get the first word in — take charge and keep the upper hand. I can’t let him catch me off guard.
“Boo!” Michael yells as he materializes on the branch closest to my window. I jump, cracking the back of my skull against the headboard.
Round one: Michael.
“Hey, babe! Sorry I’m late, but the craziest thing happened tonight. I was on my way over here and Lisa Dolan showed up! I didn’t think I’d made such a great impression last night, what with being pissed to hell you blew me off. But there she was out looking for me and showing the love.”
I shake my head. “You’re lying!”
“No, seriously, she came looking for me! I don’t know why Lisa and I never hooked up when I was… you know… alive, but there was only so much of me to go around, and short girls never turned me on. But when you’ve got a live one begging for some action — short or not — how can you say no?”
“Michael, she’s—”
“Looking for a fix? I know,” he says with a laugh. “Apparently she’s been thinking about me all day; about how I can take her away from the big, bad pain. How I can make her strong again. I told her I’d have to think about it, you know. But we’re gonna get together a little later to discuss it further.”
He’s laughing, and I’m shaking as anger wells up inside me. I hate myself for not figuring out things sooner — for letting things go this far.
“Michael, if there is any part of you that’s still human, you’ll leave Lisa alone. This is between you and me.”
“It still is, Jo. Whatever happens to Lisa will be all your fault. But, frankly, you going out and Lisa showing up was just the kick in the ass I needed. I’ve wasted three fucking months waiting for you to open this stupid ass window — but I don’t need to wait anymore. Tonight’s the night, babe. Tonight you’ll be begging me to come in!”
“I don’t want this — I don’t want you. I’ve said it a thousand times, and I will say it again: I will never let you in!”
Michael leans in, places his hands on my window, and grins. I see him so clearly now; he looks like the old Michael, except for the sharp teeth.
“Funny, that’s not the impression I got on Friday. But don’t sweat it, ’cause you’re not just going to ask me in tonight, you… are… going… to… beg… me,” he says slowly. “I could have had you that first night. I stood by the side of your house and watched you stumble and fall in your driveway. I could have swooped in and torn your throat out, but I’m a patient kind of guy. I knew there’d be a day when you’d beg me to come in, and I knew it would be worth the wait. But enough is enough.”
He runs his tongue over his teeth and I suck in my breath, waiting for the windowpane to fog up. I’m praying it’ll fog up so I won’t have to look at his teeth, so I won’t scream. “Jordan, you will beg me to come in,” he says again. “You will beg me to come in.”
My head feels numb, and I try to resist the urge to call to him.
My lips purse to form the M of his name, but I hear a small voice screaming in the back of my head to look away — the fog won’t be coming. Michael doesn’t breathe anymore, and the window will never fog up. I can’t stop looking at his mouth. I can’t stop looking at his lips as they form my name.
I don’t even hear his words anymore, but I can feel my hand reaching toward the window The voice is screaming louder, telling me to stop, I sink my teeth into my bottom lip. Blood wells up as the pain snaps me back to sanity.
His eyes lower to my mouth as I lick the blood from my lip. “Oh, Jo, when did you become such a tease?” He leans back. “Cool, though, huh? With very little effort you were about to let me in. You should just give up and get it over with.”
“Why are you doing this to me?” Hot tears run down my cheek into my mouth, mixing with the blood.
“Because I love you, Jo,” he sings sweetly. “I want us to be together forever.” He laughs.
“Why?” Keep it together. Keep it together.
“You really wanna know?”
“Yes!”
“Oh, why the hell not? Lying certainly hasn’t gotten me anywhere.” Michael leans in and sneers. “The truth is, I’ve been coming here because out of all the people I knew, you were the weakest and most pathetic, and it’s been eating away at my gut that a mess like you had the balls to break up with me.”
A laugh escapes from my mouth, but at the same time my stomach recoils like it’s been punched. I roll my eyes and shake my head in disbelief. I brace myself to keep my voice from stammering. “You’ve been stalking me because I broke up with you two summers ago, and I’m pathetic?”
“Watch your fucking mouth, or I won’t give you a chance to save Lisa.” He’s not laughing now, and I think it’s getting to him that he’s still sitting outside in the cold. I need to turn this around.
“Lisa has nothing to do with us. It’s me you’re mad at, so just—”
“Oh, don’t pull any of that psychobabble shit!” he yells.
He leans in again and I see his shoulders relax, but his eyes are wide and wild. I imagine he’s trying very hard not to scream at me. “You always thought you were better than me. You read a few books, and you thought you were so much smarter than me. But you know what? I can smell you a mile away. You reek of despair, and I had you. I had you two nights ago and then…”
I smile. “And then I got over it. I got over you. I realized I was mooning over a big, fat nothing. I realized that deep down inside, I always knew you were nothing!”
Michael slams his fist into the window and a spiderweb of fractures crack and ping through the glass. I figure the only thing keeping the pane together is the same magic that’s keeping Michael out.
“I am going to have you, and there is nothing you can do to stop me, Jo.”
He’s losing it, and I need to at least level the playing field. “Why didn’t you fight it, Michael? If you were so damn together, why didn’t you fight it?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I think you let that thing kill you. I think you wanted it. There weren’t any signs of a struggle. If you didn’t have a death wish, why didn’t you try to stop it?”
Michael laughs. “You know, you’re not so smart. You don’t even know when someone’s telling you the truth. I didn’t lie about what happened. That thing got me and it made sure it looked like I’d done it to myself. Do you really think a creature like that would leave marks so people would come looking for it? You have no idea of the power that’s involved. But you will.”
“But, I thought—”
“But nothing. I’m not like you. I’m not like Lisa. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want this. I’m just making the best of it. I loved my life. I loved being king of the world, and that thing ripped it away. Like I’m going to rip yours away but don’t for a minute think I ever wanted this.”
So much for common ground.
“Ok, so your life was tragically ‘ripped’ from you, but why this? Why get so bent about this? We went out for two freaking months.”
“Maybe when you’re like me — or dead, I really haven’t decided — you’ll understand. Maybe you’ll think about all the meaningless little shits you had to deal with who didn’t give you the respect you deserved, all the stupid peons who are still alive and don’t even know how to live.
“It’s fucking maddening that all these people — people like Rachael, people like you — are still walking around, and it’s me that’s like this.”
“What, you were so great you didn’t deserve this?”
“That’s exactly it! You losers are going nowhere. I was going places. I was gonna be big.”
“Yeah, a big freaking asshole.”
Michael’s mouth drops open, and I wish Rachael were here to see it.
“You know what, I’m out of here. Like I said, I have a lady waiting for me.”
“Michael, no — don’t go. Let’s talk about this.”
“Yeah, sorry, but you just bought Lisa a one-way ticket to Vampireville. I was hoping you’d open the window and spare her, but forget it now,” he says cheerfully. “Besides, Lisa really wants my help with her problem, and I shouldn’t let her down. Did you know she couldn’t even manage to take enough pills to kill herself properly?
“But it was really fortunate she was here last night, because she knows all sorts of things about you. I guess you should’ve hid your diary a little better. But the kicker is, after I make her like me, the two of us are going to haunt you. Hell, we may even eat your cat for an appetizer. Then we’re going to start picking off your friends — one by one. We’ll pay your
new buddy, Danny, a visit. Boy, is he going to be sorry he was sniffing around you! Does he know how close you were to letting me in? How do you think he’ll feel when I tell him about that before I tear him apart?”
“Michael, stop — don’t do this.”
“Oh, I’m doing it all right, and the really fun part is we’ll keep you alive — for a while — so you can watch it all go down.”
He’s laughing. I know what I have to say, but the words won’t come out.
“Well, babe, I gotta go. Lisa and I are going to work on our suntans before I sink my teeth into that little neck of hers.” Michael smiles at me and reaches a hand down to a lower branch.
“No — wait!” I reach under my pillow and slowly wrap my hand around the stake. It’s gonna feel so damn good shoving this into his chest. “You can come in — I invite you in!”
Michael shakes his head. “Nope. That’s not enough. I told you what you have to say.”
I hesitate and Michael shrugs. “Okay, I’m off.”
“No.” I grit my teeth. “I’m begging you to come in.”
Michael smiles. “That’s my girl. I knew you’d do it. I knew you wouldn’t let Lisa go down for your screw-ups.” He reaches out and my heart feels like it’s going to burst as he pushes up the window.
Blood is pounding in my ears. I grip the stake tighter and my legs tense up, ready to move. I have to get him before he gets me.
Michael leans toward the open window He sticks his head in and rests his elbows on the sill. What is he doing? He props his chin on one hand and purses his lips, as if he’s trying to make a decision.
“You know what, Jo? I just don’t think this is a good time for me. I mean, as much as I’d really like to come in and get busy on your neck, Lisa is expecting me, and I don’t want to disappoint her. I mean, I may be an asshole, but she’s so fragile now, I just couldn’t stand her up.”
He winks at me. “So, thanks for the invite, but I think it’ll be more fun to surprise you some other time. You like surprises, don’t you, Jo? Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Just know that I will be back. I mean, Lisa and I will be back. And I know Lisa hasn’t been officially invited in, but seeing as I have, I’ll just have to drag you out into the backyard to see her — after we’ve ripped your stupid little world apart, that is.” He brings his fingers to his lips and blows me a kiss. “Later, babe.”
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