by Kit Morgan
“Well?” Zadie said. “Aren’t you going to help a lady down the stairs?”
Jess wanted to kick himself. “Yes, of course!” He hurried up to her and offered Lillie his arm and a warm smile.
“I think she might need a little more help than that,” Zadie commented.
“Oh, er …” Jess moved to her other side, away from the hurt hip. He put an arm around her shoulders, gripped her elbow, then gently led her down the stairs. He could tell she was stiff and so went slow. Lillie smiled at him in encouragement.
“You look lovely, ladies,” Anson said. “I feel underdressed.”
Zadie laughed. “You’re fine. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with us looking good for our … I mean, for you.”
Jess knew she had been about to say “for our men,” but that would have been awkward. Or would it? He felt like Lillie’s “man,” and hoped all of Anson’s talk earlier was just that, talk. He didn’t want to think he and Lillie wouldn’t get along. But his cousin’s point was valid. She didn’t have to marry him if she didn’t want to. For all he knew she might have some kind relative she could go live with. Who knew?
But he was determined to find out.
When they reached the bottom of the stairs, he smiled at her again. “You do look lovely.” He offered her his arm in the proper fashion. “Allow me to escort you to supper.”
“All right.” She smiled and blushed. Her lashes were dark and her lips pink against her creamy skin. Sure, he’d thought she was pretty before, but now she was radiant.
Jess nodded, swallowed, then escorted his future bride – he hoped – into the dining parlor.
Eight
The table was already set and the food out when Lillie walked into the dining parlor on Jess’s arm. Her belly went into flip-flops, her heart beating faster than normal, and she didn’t understand why. She was, however, acutely aware of the man next to her, she knew that much.
He led her to a chair and pulled it out for her. Lillie’s mother had told her about this sort of thing. These were the actions of a gentleman. It was a far cry from the rough men she was used to being around – the only kind her father ever associated with.
She carefully sat. “Thank you.”
Jess leaned down to her ear. “You’re welcome.”
A chill ran up Lillie’s spine and she shivered. “Are you cold?” he asked.
“No … I’m fine.”
“Good. How’s your hip?”
“Very well, thank you.” Thank heavens her mother had taught her proper manners. Otherwise she’d feel like a fool. She might feel like one by the end of the evening regardless, but it wouldn’t be for lack of trying to avoid it.
She watched as everyone else took their seats. Anson said a quick blessing and the meal began. She took a deep breath as she kept an eye on the other three. So long as they didn’t all start talking at once, she might make it through this.
“Pot roast,” Jess whispered. “One of my favorites.”
“It’s not Mrs. Dunnigan’s recipe, so don’t compare it,” Anson warned.
“No, but it is Bertha’s recipe,” Zadie countered. “And I bet she could give your Mrs. Dunnigan a run for her money.”
Jess thought about that a moment. “Well, maybe. My mother tried her hand at Mrs. Dunnigan’s recipe a few times. She got pretty close.”
“Clear Creek is apparently full of excellent cooks,” Zadie explained to Lillie. “I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard about Mrs. Dunnigan and Mrs. Upton. They’ve probably erected statues of them in the town square.”
“No. I’m afraid Clear Creek isn’t big enough to have a town square.” Jess said and passed Lillie the mashed potatoes.
“Good grief, don’t let anyone back home hear that,” Anson laughed. “They’re liable to build one, complete with the statues!”
Lillie watched everyone carefully. So far, so good. “They must be very good cooks.”
“Oh, they are, but neither one cooks much anymore,” Jess said. “They’re both getting up in years. A lot of the women in town have taken cooking lessons from them, though, so the tradition continues.”
Lillie smiled, took the platter of roast from Zadie and served herself a portion.
“Do you cook?” Jess asked.
Lillie was busy cutting her meat. She almost didn’t need to – it was so tender it fell apart at a fork’s touch.
Jess glanced at the others. “Lillie, did you hear me?”
She took a bite, then noticed the look on his face. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
He smiled. “Zadie, your pot roast must be getting better. She’s so absorbed in it, she’s not paying any attention to me.”
Zadie smiled and blushed. “I’m trying. But it is Bertha’s recipe.”
Lillie felt her cheeks grow hot, her smile frozen as she continued to chew.
Jess watched her with fascination. “I’ll ask again. Do you cook?”
She swallowed. “Not like this, I’m afraid.”
“That’s okay, I’m sure Zadie won’t mind sharing Bertha’s recipes with you.” Jess took a bite off his own plate.
“Who is Bertha?” Lillie asked.
“You don’t know who Bertha is?” Anson asked. “How long have you lived in Morgan’s Crossing?”
Lillie caught a look of warning in Jess’s eyes, clearly aimed at his cousin. “Not long,” she said. Her father had hardly let her out of their house since they arrived, so she didn’t know a soul in town except that nice old woman with the snow-white hair that helped her in the street one day. What was her name – Teasdale?
“Bertha runs the boardinghouse,” Anson said. “She came to town about four years ago and married Howie Brungar.”
“I’m afraid I don’t know who that is,” Lillie confessed.
“He helps Mr. Morgan out,” Anson explained.
“Mr. Morgan who owns the whole town, almost,” Jess added.
Zadie studied Lillie a moment. She tried not to stare back as she waited for her to open her mouth to speak. “You must not have lived here long at all.”
“No,” was all Lillie offered. She took another bite and watched the others do the same.
“Lillie,” Jess said, setting his fork down. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
Now what? Oh, please don’t bring up Pa! she thought to herself. She was beginning to enjoy the peace and quiet of the Jones ranch, even if it might only last a little longer.
“Lillie?”
“Um … about what?” Good grief, and she hadn’t even broken eye contact. Thoughts of her father were more distracting than she realized.
“May I speak with you after supper? We could have our dessert on the porch.”
She nodded, not knowing what to say. What could he possibly want?
He smiled and continued eating. The rest of the meal went well, mainly because no one talked much but concentrated on eating, much to Lillie’s relief. Now all she had to do was get through dessert.
When the meal was over Zadie got up to fetch the pie she’d baked earlier. Lillie offered to help, but Zadie told her to stay put for now. She even went so far as to carry Lillie’s pie and coffee out to the porch for her, and a small table for she and Jess to set their cups on. Jess helped Lillie outside and got her seated on a bench. “Anson and I will be in the parlor.” Zadie said and left.
Unsure of what to do, Lillie took a bite of her pie. Jess was probably going to ask her what her plans were after she healed. What else could it be?
He touched her arm, and she looked at him in panic. “Did you hear what I said?” he asked.
She’d been so worried about what he would say that she’d stopped watching his face and instead focused on her pie. That would cost her. She shook her head, no words at the ready. Maybe she should just tell him and get his rejection over with.
“Lillie,” he began again. “I’ve spoken to your father.”
She almost dropped her plate. “What?”
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br /> “Forgive my opinion, but he’s not a pleasant fellow.”
“Oh yes, I know,” she said in resignation, her eyes downcast. A few seconds later he touched her arm again. She looked up once more, imagining all the things her father had said about her. “Is he coming for me?”
“No.”
She blinked a few times in confusion. “He’s not?”
Jess studied her a moment. “No, because I asked him to stay away from you.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You … you did?”
He took a deep breath, and she wondered if he was ever going to let it out. “I also asked him for your hand … more or less.”
This time she did drop her plate! It landed on the porch with a clatter, but thankfully didn’t break or spill the pie. Jess quickly picked it up and set it on the table as Lillie stared at him in shock. “You … asked for … you mean you asked my pa if you could … marry me?”
He smiled and nodded.
She looked away, her mouth still hanging open. Why on earth would he want to marry her? Or had her father somehow forced him into it? She looked at him again. “What did he tell you? Why is he doing this?”
Jess set his own plate on the table and took her hands in his. “I think a better question is, why am I doing this?”
“Doing what? Marrying me?”
“Yes.”
A chill went up Lillie’s spine. “You mean, you want to?!”
“Yes, I do. If you’ll have me.”
Lillie stood without thinking, ignoring the ache in her hip. “I don’t understand. Why would you want to?”
“Why not?” He got up as well. “Lillie, I know this is sudden, but I can’t let you go back to your father. It wouldn’t be right after what he’s done to you.” She reached up and touched her right cheek, an unconscious action, and knew it was all he needed to confirm the answer. “It’s not the first time he’s hit you, is it?”
She shook her head. Not the first, maybe not even the hundredth.
“Did he shoot you?”
“I don’t know if it was on purpose or not. He was so drunk …”
He unexpectedly wrapped his arms around her, and she gasped at the contact, her eyes locked on his face. “He can’t harm you anymore – not if you’re married to me, Lillie. In fact, he won’t be able to come near you unless you want him to. And even then, I’ll be there.”
It was more than she could take in. Her knees buckled. If Jess hadn’t been holding her, she’d have fallen in a heap on the porch.
“Lillie!” He scooped her up and set them both on the bench again. “Are you all right?”
Lillie opened and closed her mouth a few times but couldn’t speak.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he said with a smile. “But please tell me you’re all right.”
She nodded. “I … I …”
“Shhhh, you don’t have to talk. I know I gave you a shock and you’re probably still surprised I’m doing this.”
She nodded vigorously, eyes wide.
“I feel responsible for you. After meeting your father, how can I send you back?”
Lillie shook herself. “You want to marry me because you want to protect me?”
“I can’t think of a better way, can you?”
“But … you don’t have to. What am I to you? I’m nothing.”
“Don’t talk like that. I’m sure any man worth his salt would like you. You’re pretty, soft-spoken, well-mannered, and from the way you talk you’ve had some education.”
She turned away. “Not really, only what my mother taught me. I had to learn to talk properly because …” She quickly shut up.
“Because of what?”
She didn’t reply, just began to shake and sob as the tears came.
* * *
Jess stared at her. What could possibly be wrong? “Lillie, I’m sorry I told you like this, but I didn’t see any other way. I can’t let you go back, it’s not safe. I know we’ve just met and don’t know anything about each other, but I’m a hard worker and I’ll take care of you. I’ve got my own cabin – Anson and Zadie gave me theirs. We can live there until I build us a bigger house one day.”
Nothing, no response. She must really be upset. He swallowed hard and tried again. “Of course we’ll court first to see if we suit, but I still can’t see you going back to live with your pa. He’s mean, Lillie, you can’t deny it.”
Still nothing. She sat weeping, her face turned away.
Was the thought of marrying him that bad? Maybe he should rethink this. Maybe she wanted to go back. No, no – why would she want to go back to that sorry excuse of a father? He sighed and sat back against the wall of the house. The bench they sat on wasn’t the most comfortable and he wondered if they should go back inside. “We can talk about it in the morning. You’re probably worn out right now.”
She didn’t say a word.
He straightened. She was upset, but it was no reason to ignore him, especially since he was giving her the chance to end the conversation. “Lillie, we’ll let it rest for now.” No acknowledgement. “Lillie?!” he said, his voice louder than before. Good grief, was the woman deaf?
Wait. “Good Lord … Lillie, look at me.”
She didn’t.
“Lillie, can you hear me?”
Nothing.
“Lillie!” he finally shouted, leaning to within an inch of her ear.
She spun around to look at him, her eyes red from crying. “What?”
Anson and Zadie hurried out to the porch, pulled by Jess’s yelling. He ignored them. “Lillie,” he said more softly now, “can you hear me?”
She shook her head. “No,” she whimpered. “I can’t.”
* * *
Everyone was staring at Lillie in shock. She could hear a little, if someone shouted at her from close enough. Her father had done it often enough for her to know that much. But other than that, she had to read lips if she wanted to know what a person was saying. And even that could be difficult – like when her father was drunk and slurred his words.
That had been what caused it – Pa’s drunkenness. According to her mother, he had boxed Lillie’s ears when she was a little girl, and something had been damaged inside them. Ma had done her best to teach her how to cope with the loss of her hearing, but because of Pa, they were never able to seek the help she so desperately needed.
Pa had kept Lillie and her mother prisoner all those years, beating Ma if he found out she’d left the house for any reason. Most folks wondered if Lillie and Ma even existed. When they found out, it wasn’t long before Pa moved them on. He had complete control over them and liked it that way.
Lillie was an embarrassment according to him, the reason they had to move. He didn’t want to have to deal with a “stupid” child, and blamed her on her mother not being faithful. Of course her mother protested the false accusation, but was quickly reprimanded by Herman’s fist. It was a horrible situation, and had been her whole life.
Then her mother disappeared, and Lillie was left to fend for herself. She didn’t know what to do except keep her mouth shut and do whatever her father ordered her to: cook, clean, wash his clothes, anything to keep the peace. It was all she’d ever known. She knew she couldn’t survive on her own, but who would hire her? Who in their right mind would want her?
“Lillie,” Jess said loudly as he touched her arm again. The word was distant, as if he was speaking into a pillow.
She looked at him, saw the concern on his face and tried not to start crying again. “Can you see now why I can’t marry you?”
He looked her up and down in shock before his brow furrowed, then looked her right in the eyes. “No, I don’t see that at all. I can marry you, and I will. If you’ll have me.”
Nine
Lillie was deaf. That explained some things. But it didn’t change Jess’s mind one bit. If anything, it reinforced it. She needed help and protection; he could provide that.
Zadie walked over to the
bench and sat on its end. “Why didn’t you tell us earlier?”
Lillie’s lower lip trembled. “People don’t like someone like me.”
“What?” Zadie exclaimed. “Why, that’s utter nonsense!”
Anson stepped forward. “You read lips.”
She nodded, as if ashamed of that.
“And you can hear a little,” Jess argued.
She looked at each of them. “I can hear sounds when they’re loud enough. If you shouted everything, I could probably understand.”
“Lillie,” Jess gently touched her arm to get her attention. “I stand by what I said earlier.”
She swallowed hard in disbelief. “You’d … marry someone like me?”
“Of course, why not?”
She shook her head in confusion. “But I’m not … normal.”
Zadie chuckled. “Which of us is?”
Jess smiled. “Anson and I have a relative, Duncan Cooke. He married a woman who was mute. It didn’t make any difference to him. And he’s kind of a big deal – he’s a lord back in England.”
Lillie didn’t seem to care if he was the king himself. “Could she hear?”
“Yes, but she couldn’t speak. They had a lot of trouble communicating. But look at you – you can’t hear well, yet you speak fine and can communicate with no problem. I don’t see what the issue is.”
“Because I’m stupid!” She stood, crossed to the porch rail and gripped it white-knuckled.
Jess looked at Anson and Zadie. “That’s her father talking.”
“No doubt,” Anson agreed.
Zadie went to Lillie and put an arm around her to get her attention. “You are not stupid.”
Lillie stared at her, tears in her eyes. “I feel that way … a lot of the time.”
Zadie turned her so they were facing each other. “You heard that from him, haven’t you? Your father?”
Lillie nodded.
“Don’t believe it. You speak amazingly well for someone who can hardly hear. I must say I’m impressed.”
Lillie’s eyes widened. “You are?”
“Yes. I am,” she said with a smile. “When I lived in Denver, before I came west as a mail-order bride, we had a neighbor whose son was completely deaf.”
