“Ruin what?”
“Our beginning. I don’t care what you wrote in that book, you are not a monster and I’ll never think that. So if that’s what has you all in knots right now, let’s just get that out of the way.”
I was too stunned to say anything.
“And I was completely wrong to look in your notebook the way I did. I’m sorry.” She lifted her shoulders. “I wanted to know how you felt.”
I’m falling in love with you.
“Sebastian.” She walked toward me, and I focused on the sheet wrapped around her body. “How do you feel?”
“I don’t know,” I said lamely. I stared at her bare feet, toe to toe with mine.
“Yes, you do. You’re scared. I am too.” She put her hand under my chin and forced me to meet her eyes. “I was there last night, remember? I heard the things you said. I said things back to you, and I meant them.”
Finally, I looked up and met her eyes. “I meant the things I said too.”
“OK.” She rubbed my arm. “Then we have something worth fighting for, something young and a little unsteady on its legs, but it can get stronger.”
“What if this is just too much work?” I blurted, hating myself for sounding like a coward.
“For who?”
“Both of us. What if I keep fucking up and you get tired of having to forgive me?”
“Hey.” She knelt at my feet. “I don’t want you to be anyone other than who you are. I don’t know how else to tell you that. And look, it was me today that fucked up and needed forgiveness, right?”
“I guess so.”
“And I’ll never do that again. Your journal is your business. Your therapy is your business. I was totally wrong to look in it.” She hesitated. “Even if your words about me did give me goose bumps.”
I laughed a little, embarrassed but pleased. “Did they?”
“Yes.” She looked up at me with wide, searching eyes, and I felt my dick begin to stiffen. “But why did you say I had a foolish heart? Do you think I’m a fool? Sometimes I think I’m not smart enough for you.”
My chest caved. “Skylar. I didn’t mean it like that.” Leaning down, I took her head in my hands and kissed her softly, then reached for the sheet wrapped around her. She stood and let it fall, and I grabbed her beneath the arms, tipping her back on the bed. I stretched out over her, covering her naked body with my clothed one, brushing her hair back from her face.
“I don’t think I’m good enough for you, you know that. And I’m going to frustrate and confuse you, just like you said. Maybe it’s the OCD, maybe I’m just difficult—I have no fucking clue. But I won’t deserve all the chances you’ll have to give me.”
She wrapped her legs around me and took my face in her hands. “I’m going to give them, though. And if that makes me a fool, well…” She smiled. “At least I’ll be your fool.”
I buried my face in her neck, not at all sure I wouldn’t tear up. “Mine,” I said hoarsely, kissing my way down her chest.
“Yours,” she whispered, arching her back when I took the tip of one breast in my mouth. “Yours,” she whimpered a few minutes later when I licked two fingers and circled them over her clit, slid them inside her pussy. “Yours,” she cried a few minutes later as I brought her to orgasm with my hand, my teeth biting down on one hardened nipple.
I hated taking my lips from her skin even briefly, but somehow she managed to pull off my shirt, and undo my jeans. After shoving them off, I settled between her thighs again, sliding my cock along her clit.
She dug her heels into my legs and clawed at my back. “Inside me. Please. I miss you there already.”
Another time I might have teased her, made her wait a little longer, but this morning I just wanted to do as she asked. Our mouths were open and hot and panting against one another’s as I slid inside her and began to move, slowly at first, reveling in every inch of slick, tight friction. She writhed and bucked beneath me, grabbing my ass with both hands, pulling me in deep and gasping in pain when I stabbed too deep.
“Too hard? I don’t want to hurt you,” I whispered, but my hips rocked harder and faster, taking orders from her hands.
“You won’t, you won’t,” she said, her eyes shiny and wild. “I love it deep like that. You have no idea how good it feels.”
I almost laughed. “I do, I promise.”
“Oh, God.” She picked up her head, burying it in the crook of my neck, licking my throat, lifting her hips to meet mine thrust for thrust, driving me to the breaking point. “You make me come so easily, it’s like fucking magic.”
“Yes. Come with me,” I growled low in her ear, feeling that invincibility surge inside me. “Come hard on my cock, let me feel it.”
“Yes!” Her climax hit and she dug her nails in deep and held on tight, her lower body going stiff as I drove inside her, again and again. Then I buried myself as deep as I could, coming long and hard, and still felt like I wanted more of her, wanted to give her more of me. I miss you there already, she’d said, and I hadn’t even been inside her yet. But I knew exactly what she meant.
Even as I held her trembling body close to mine, I mourned the inevitable loss of her.
Nothing gold can stay.
“Hello?”
“Hello, I’m calling for Mia Fournier.” I tried to sound less nervous than I felt. Sebastian and even Natalie had encouraged me to make this call on Monday, but it had taken me three more days to work up the nerve. I wanted to be prepared in case she asked about experience, a college degree, why I’d been fired from Rivard, or even Save a Horse, on the off chance she’d watched.
“This is Mia.”
I took a breath. “This is Skylar Nixon. I got your card from my friend Sebastian Pryce, and—”
“Oh, at the law firm! Yes! Lucas mentioned you might be calling.”
I smiled, relieved that she knew who I was. “Yes. I understand you’re interviewing for an assistant?”
“I am. Are you interested in the position?”
“Yes,” I said, biting my tongue before I added, but I’m not sure I’m qualified.
“Great. Can you interview next week?”
I told her I could, and we set up an interview at Abelard for nine AM Tuesday. I’d have to make sure I got that day off from Coffee Darling, but since Natalie was so supportive, I didn’t think she’d mind.
I went to bed that night happy but fretful, making a list on my phone of all the things I needed to do—print out a resume, plan my outfit, research Abelard Vineyards. Frowning at the screen, I tried to think of what I was missing.
“Stop worrying. She’s going to love you.” Sebastian turned back the sheet and climbed into his bed, where I was sitting up cross-legged, my phone in my lap.
I didn’t look up. “Maybe. We’ll see.”
“Stop.” He grabbed my phone and hid it behind his back.
“Hey!” I got to my knees and tried to get it back.
“Enough,” he said, holding it out of reach. “You have to get up too early to be doing this right now.”
“Come on, give it back. I need it.” I made several unsuccessful attempts to get it, and he laughed.
“You don’t. You need to relax, I can see it on your face. Don’t make me tie you up.”
Sighing, I sat back on my heels. “Very funny.”
“You’re fucking adorable when you pretend to be angry with me.” He set my phone on his nightstand and tackled me, throwing me onto my back. Now that we spent so much time together, I knew why his body was so hot—he went to the gym every fucking day! I was a slug compared to him. And he worked at the law firm a lot too. He’d worked a full day every day this week, and then worked out after that. We didn’t see each other until dinner time or later, which was why I ended up spending the night so much.
It wasn’t that I missed him so badly the two nights we spent apart I could hardly sleep. Nope. No way.
I squealed as I landed, grappling with him but laughing as he pinned my wri
sts to the bed near my shoulders. “Not a fair fight at all.”
“Nope.” He kissed me, his lips and tongue a soft contrast to the hard strength of his hands cuffing my wrists. “My sister-in-law wants to meet you.”
“Oh?” A little thrill moved through my body.
“Yes. She came into the office this afternoon.” He kissed me again, on the lips first, then the neck and chest over the t-shirt of his I’d taken to sleeping in. “She asked if I’d like to bring you to their house for dinner.”
“And what did you say?”
He barely took his mouth of me. “I said fuck no, you have terrible table manners.”
I rolled my eyes and kicked my legs at him. “You’re so mean. Get off me.”
“OK.” He flipped to his back, dragging me on top of him, holding my wrists above his head. “Better?”
“Mmmmm.” Was I mad at him? I forgot. I drew my legs astride his hips, and slanted my mouth over his. As the kiss deepened, I rocked my hips against his thickening cock, feeling desire spark at my center. God, I was beginning to think I was a fiend, the way we’d been going at it almost every night this week. Last night I’d slept alone in my old bed, and I’d been so lonesome for him I had to get myself off with my fingers like a lust-crazed teenager, and I still felt totally unsatisfied.
I’d been really good about taking my pill, but even so, in the back of my mind I wondered if any hormonal treatment would be strong enough to fend off his crazy smart, super ripped sperm. And holy shit, what would I do then? “I’ll be right back,” I whispered.
He didn’t stop me from going for the ladder, which told me he probably knew what I needed to do. My pills were in my purse, which was downstairs, so it was a couple minutes before I climbed up again. The lamp was still burning, and the sight of shirtless Sebastian waiting for me in bed, on his back, the sheet pulled up to his hips, outline of his cock clearly visible, nearly made me trip over my own feet.
Grinning, I jumped on him, straddling his hips again, my hands on his warm, hard chest. He grabbed the hem of the shirt I wore. “Not that I don’t love seeing you in my clothes, but I love it even more when you’re naked.”
I happily whipped off the shirt and tossed it aside, leaving only my panties between us. Sebastian, I discovered, always slept naked.
No complaints here.
His hands moved to my ass as I leaned down to kiss him, my breasts brushing over his chest. He moaned, his tongue stroking between my lips, his hips lifting to push up against me. I moved my body over his, sliding my clit along his thick, hard cock, feeling my underwear grow damp.
“Take them off.” His voice was low and firm.
I smiled down at him. “Fiend.”
“For you I am.”
I bit my lip. “Did you miss me last night?”
“So much I could hardly stand it.”
Shaking my head, I said, “Me too. What’s with us? Is it because the sex is so good?” Then I panicked. “I mean, it’s good for me…I hope it’s good for you.”
He spanked me lightly. “Stop. It’s amazing for me, and you know it. I can’t get enough.”
That put the grin back on my face and I swung one leg over so I could work my panties down my legs. I was so anxious to feel his cock hit The Spot I left them hanging around one ankle as I straddled him again. But he had another idea.
Shimmying down the bed until his head was between my knees, he looked up at me. “I used to lie awake at night and think about doing this to you.” He kissed one inner thigh and then the other, rubbing his scruffy cheek against the sensitive skin there before wiggling down even further and dragging his tongue up my center.
I shivered, falling forward to grip the simple wooden headboard. “Oh God, Sebastian. Your tongue is just…” But I couldn’t even find a word for it. Light and colors danced behind my closed eyelids as I dropped my head back, undulating my hips over his mouth. His arms looped over my legs, pulling me tighter to his face, and when I looked down I almost lost it at the sight of those gorgeous green eyes in the V between my legs.
“Fuck,” I breathed as he worked my clit with the tip of his tongue. “I didn’t even know enough to imagine this. I had no idea it was even possible to feel this good.” It was true—I’d been with some really good-looking guys, but somehow being incredibly handsome didn’t always correlate to being that skilled in bed. Natalie and I had a theory that slightly less attractive guys were probably better lovers because they had to work harder for it. Like she once confessed that Dan had kind of a small dick but was pretty good with his hands.
Sebastian, however, had everything.
Everything.
Including his tongue buried in my pussy.
And when the tension at my core whirled into a vortex too powerful for my body to contain, he moaned along with me as I rode out my orgasm above him, grinding unabashedly against his face.
When the spasms had stopped I moved down his body, prepared to take him in my mouth, but he deftly flipped me onto my back and pinned my wrists by my head. In the lamplight I could see his shiny lips and chin, and my insides clenched with aftershocks. He kissed me hard and deep, his mouth open wide over mine. I tasted myself and him and us and sex and it was warm and sweet and I opened my legs for him, desperate to feel him enter my body and drive us both into another mad frenzy.
He glided in easily, and I tilted my hips to take him deep. When he was buried inside, he paused and looked down at me, and I thought he was going to say something but he didn’t. He just kept his eyes on mine as he started to move, his hips rolling like ocean waves over mine. I strained up against him, pressing closer with my chest, lifting my hips.
“I missed you so much last night,” I whispered, every nerve ending in my body on fire. “I touched myself and thought of you.”
“I did the same,” he said, the muscles in his arms flexing as he braced himself above me. “Twice.”
I smiled, deliriously happy. “You win.”
• • •
I spent the weekend working for Natalie and preparing for my interview. On Saturday after work, I went over to Jillian’s condo and she helped me put together my resume and print it on good paper. I wasn’t even sure Mia Fournier would ask for it, and it wasn’t terribly impressive anyway, but at least it had some references on it and accounted for my education and the last five years of my life.
Kind of sad I only needed half a page for that stuff.
“Are you sure I should list Miranda Rivard?” I scrunched up my face when I saw her name on the test copy we’d printed.
“She said it was fine, right?” Jillian set down a cup of tea for me.
“Yeah. I guess so.” I’d called her the day before to ask her permission, and she’d said it was fine and she’d be honest about my good performance and the reason I was asked to leave. I didn’t love that second bit, but I had to list someone from Chateau Rivard if I wanted to put my time there on my resume, short-lived as it was. “What do you think?”
Jillian looked over my shoulder, sipping her tea. “Let’s go a little bigger with your name and move your contact information here.” She pointed to a different place on the page.
“OK.” It was small stuff, trivial even, but everything about the way I presented myself would be important, I knew that. After making the suggested changes, I printed it again. “Now how does it look?”
She picked it up off the printer and studied it while I got up to fetch the honey from her cupboard. I spooned some into my tea and stirred it up, then I sucked on the spoon. Oh Jesus. My tongue is sore. I laughed quietly to myself, turning my back to Jillian as I recalled the spectacular feats of fellatio I’d performed last night in the rowboat, which we’d taken out for a late night cruise.
When I turned around, Jillian was looking at me funny. “What?”
“What are you laughing about over there?”
“Nothing.” I dropped my eyes to my tea and quickly sat down again.
“That is not a nothing
face. That is an I-did-something-naughty face. Trust me, I’m the big sister. I know that face of yours.”
I grinned, lifting my tea to my lips. “Guilty.”
“So?”
“I have a very sore tongue muscle today.”
Jillian’s dark, high-arched brows shot up. “You do? And how’s his tongue?”
“I’d be surprised if he can talk normally. I can barely walk normally.”
“Oh my god,” she groaned, fanning herself. “You’re so lucky. Damn.”
“I know.” I picked up the resume. “So this looks good, you think?” It wasn’t that I didn’t want to spill to her, I just felt protective of what Sebastian and I had together. It was so new, and felt so fragile.
“Yes. It’s fine. I want to hear more about the guy.” She propped her chin on her hand and looked at me dreamily. “I need to live vicariously.”
“Jill. Come on. You’re beautiful. You’re a doctor. Where are all the beautiful male doctors I see on soap operas?”
She rolled her eyes. “Married. Or fucking nurses. Or fucking anyone else they want to because they’re too busy to have a relationship.” Sighing, she sat up straight again. “And I guess I am, too. It just gets a little lonely sometimes.”
“So fuck a hot doctor for fun.”
“A year or two ago, I would have. I did. But now I think I’ll hold out for something better. What about you? Is this going somewhere, you think?”
I shrugged, but couldn’t keep the smile off my face. “I don’t know. Feels like maybe.”
“Like maybe? Is there long term potential there?” She brought her cup to her lips.
I rolled my eyes. “Jillian, it’s only been like ten days. I don’t even know what he’s thinking long term for himself. And he… once said something about not believing in the one.”
Her brow wrinkled. “The one?”
“Yeah, you know. The one. The idea that there’s one perfect person for you and you have to find her or him.”
“Ah, a soul mate,” she said. “Very romantic idea. But I’m not sure it’s real, either.”
Glancing around at her clean, modern condo, I wondered if she ever pictured living here with someone else, or if she was content to live alone. “I don’t know what I believe. But I do know he sends mixed signals…when he first talked about his cabin I got the feeling he really enjoyed the solitude, but he always wants me to sleep there now, even if I have to get up crazy early for work the next morning and he has to drive me.”
Some Sort of Happy Page 18
