A little huff of laughter escaped him.
“I love you, but I knew that if I married you because you felt duty-bound, I would always feel inferior. I would always cover up my real feelings for you, because you don’t return them. And I don’t say this to make you feel bad—”
He put his finger over her lips. “My God, I’m a bigger blockhead than Osgood.”
She grabbed his finger. “What does Osgood have to do with this?”
“Nothing, except I’m as oblivious as he is.”
“You’re making no sense.”
His heart beat faster. “I am an idiot.”
“Sometimes,” she said.
“And blind because I—”
She put her finger over his lips this time. “Don’t say it unless you mean it.”
He caught her finger and drew both her hands into his. “I have been so miserable without you. I thought about you constantly, and I was so unhappy when you turned me down. I thought you hated me for what I’d done to you. I missed you, and I didn’t understand what was tormenting me. But I could have avoided all that misery if I’d just admitted what I knew deep down. I am utterly, completely, hopelessly in love with you.”
An impish smile curved her lips. “You’re not just saying that so I’ll let you make love to me, are you?”
“No,” he said somberly. “I love you, and I don’t want to live without you. But I don’t want to propose in an inn bed.”
“We’ll wait until we reach Gatewick Park,” she said.
“Does this mean I deserve a reward?”
“I think we both do.”
He laughed. “What is your pleasure, my lady? Shall I lead or will you?”
“Well, you waltz divine, so I think I’ll let you lead.”
He unbuttoned the nightgown and drew it over her head. “You’re beautiful. I wish it weren’t so dark. After we’re married, I want to make love to you in the daylight.”
“I might let you,” she said.
He kissed her lips. “I love you. And after we’re married, I want to make love with you outdoors.”
“That sounds naughty. I might let you.”
He chuckled and caressed her breast. I love you. And after we’re married, I want to make love with you in a tree.”
“That sounds impossible and dangerous. Forget it.”
He grinned. “I love you. And after we’re married, I want to make love with you on the carpet in front of the fire.”
“That sounds romantic. I might let you.”
“I love you. And though we’re not married, I want to make love to you right now. Because my heart is full and I thought I’d lost you forever.” He kissed her deeply, slowly, savoring the taste of her mouth. Another miracle had happened. She loved him.
But there was something she needed to know. His stomach churned because he didn’t want to ruin things between them, but he must be honest with her. “Julianne, there’s something I must tell you.”
“Tell me later.” Her hand trailed down his chest, but he caught it.
“It’s important,” he said. “Before we go any further, I need to tell you something.”
“Marc, darling, you don’t have to tell me about your youthful mistake. I love you unconditionally. The past no longer exists.”
“Everything changed the day you refused my proposal,” he said. “When I got back to my rooms, I got quite a shock. Someone had found me.”
Her brows furrowed. “What?”
He pressed her hand against his heart. “I was forbidden to ever see him. To ever write to him. To mention his name. I couldn’t because it would have forever labeled him a bastard. I was eighteen years old when I signed the papers giving up my son before he was even born.”
Her lips parted. “Oh, dear God.”
“I never thought to see him, but he found me. Julie, he looks just like me.”
“This is why your father condemned you?”
“It’s an ugly story.”
She held both his hands tightly. “You said someone tricked you. It clearly had to do with a woman.”
He told her the abbreviated version because he could hardly stand to voice what had happened to him.
“Ramsey doesn’t know about the boy, does he?”
“No, my father and Westcott covered it up.”
“No wonder you hate Ramsey.”
“I called on him last week, Julianne. And I forgave him.”
“I knew I loved you, but I love you even more for doing the right thing.”
“I did it for myself mostly,” he said. “That sort of bitterness eats at your soul over time. And he couldn’t have known the consequences. But I thought better of him when he apologized.”
“I’m glad he did, though that doesn’t entirely change my opinion of him. He ought not to have pursued me when you’d refused.”
“He’s done worse things than trick me, Julianne. Horrible, sordid things. That is the reason I didn’t want him anywhere near you.”
“His father is one of the most influential politicians in the nation,” she said. “Why would Ramsey risk bringing scandal upon his family?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe he feels he can never measure up to his father. Or perhaps he’s just a bad apple.”
“Enough about him,” Julianne said. “Tell me about your son.”
“Julie, before I do, you need to know his father is likely to make trouble, but I won’t give up my son again.”
“Of course you won’t. We’ll weather the storm together.”
“His name is Brandon.” Hawk told her everything that had transpired that day. “When he mentioned that he and his mates toasted cheese over the fire, it brought back memories. Do you remember toasting cheese with your brother and me?”
She smiled. “Yes.”
“I sat on the carpet to toast cheese with him, and now he thinks I’m all the crack because he’s never seen a grown-up do it.” He paused. “He sent me a letter today.”
He told her briefly what Brandon had written. “Westcott is likely to threaten me.”
“If he does, it will be because he’s afraid his son will prefer you to him,” she said. “But you and I will make it clear to Westcott that the boy’s needs are the only priority. Brandon sought you out, and now he wants you to be a part of his life. He should have the opportunity to know you. There is no reason the boy cannot have two fathers.”
“I am concerned. Twice, Brandon mentioned his father’s health problems. I’ve no idea what ails Westcott, but as far as I know, Westcott has no male relatives to act as guardian to the boy. I’ve no rights, at least none that I can voice without labeling my son a bastard. He would lose his inheritance, and society would be cruel to him.”
“Westcott had no other children?”
“No.” He lifted his eyes to her. “You can imagine his humiliation upon discovering after eight years that another man had impregnated his young wife.”
“Was he much older than she?”
He nodded. “Forty years.”
“He’s old enough to be the boy’s grandfather, even his great-grandfather.”
He nodded. “And apparently in bad health.”
“Then we have even more reason to be involved in the boy’s life. He needs a mother figure, and frankly, a younger father figure as well. As for fears about exposing the circumstances of his birth, all we need do is claim he is a distant cousin of yours. The aristocracy does it all the time. People may guess, but they will never openly question or scorn him.”
“I keep thinking something will happen to snatch away my happiness,” he said.
She kissed him on the mouth, a lush, slightly openmouthed kiss.
His cock hardened. She reached for him, stroking him slowly.
He untied the ribbon of her braid. She sat up, shook her long, long hair back, and pushed him flat on the mattress.
“You wish to ride me?”
“That can be arranged, but I have another idea.”
/> Her husky voice enslaved him. “Oh?” His cock stood at full attention now. He had to restrain himself from becoming the aggressor.
She slid between his thighs. “You did something very interesting with your mouth our first time. And it occurred to me you might like something similar.”
Her hair trailed over his body. It was his favorite fantasy of her. Then she bent over him. As her tongue swirled round and round his cock, he groaned. “You’re killing me.”
Her wicked, husky laugh made him smile. He pushed her onto the bed and suckled her breasts and caressed her slick folds.
She wrapped her arms around him. “Make love to me.”
“One question. Do you want to delay children?”
“No, I don’t want us to delay another day of our lives.”
He eased inside her, sliding in and withdrawing slowly. The whole time, he locked his gaze with hers. He reached between them, stroking her. Her back bowed as a single feminine cry came out of her mouth.
He lifted her legs over his shoulders. Then he drove into her faster and faster. As the sensations built to a fever pitch, a rough sound came out of his throat. He stilled, straining toward the pleasure, and when the throbbing burst upon him, he stayed inside her as his seed spilled. He lowered her legs and collapsed atop her, shuddering from the most erotic experience of his life. She locked her arms and legs around him. He kissed her cheek. “I love you,” he said in a hoarse voice.
They slept, nestled like two spoons. She woke as he stroked her breast. He was aroused, hard against her bottom. He pulled her atop him. She rode him, leaning forward. He suckled her nipples, sending rivers of pleasure through her. When the ecstasy overcame her, he took her cry with his mouth and swept his tongue in the same rhythm as her body clenching him. Then still inside her, he rolled her to her back and pumped inside her, hard and fast as if he couldn’t control his need. His ragged breathing grew even more labored, and then he was throbbing inside her.
He collapsed again. “Oh, my God.”
She caressed his cheek, slightly scratchy with new beard. “Like that, did you?”
He rolled to his side, taking her with him, still inside her. “Can I say something really dirty?”
“Yes.”
“Really, really dirty?”
“Do it,” she said.
Even in the dark, she could see the glazed look in his eyes.
“I love you. And after we’re married, I’m going to fuck you morning, noon, and night.”
She laughed. “You prefer dirty words to euphemisms.”
“I know lots of dirty words. I can say them in French if you like. Italian, too.”
“International dirty words. Oh, my.”
He grinned. “I’ll call you into my study, presumably to complain about your dressmaker bills. Then I’ll straddle you over my lap and cover up what we’re doing with your skirts.”
“Shocking,” she said.
“I’ll take you on a scenic tour of Ashdown House.” He nibbled on her neck. “There are over one hundred rooms.”
“I hope you’re not planning to tour them all in one night.”
He laughed. The room suddenly seemed a bit brighter.
“Damn, the day,” he said. “Ah, hell, we won’t be able to make love again at your brother’s house.”
“There are over one hundred rooms,” she said. “We might get… lost.”
“Egad, I can’t do it in your brother’s house.”
“Then we’ll take a long walk. The grounds are extensive at Gatewick Park.”
He sighed. “I will be a gentleman and wait until after we’re married. Four weeks to call the bans—ugh.”
“I’m not above seducing a gentleman. And remember I know the secrets of seduction.”
He guffawed.
She clapped her hand over his mouth. “Hester might hear.”
He lifted his head. “She’s still snoring.” He grinned at her. “Once more? Please?”
“You’re insatiable.”
“Please?”
She opened her arms, but he pulled her atop him. She rode him and came quickly. He followed right behind and hugged her hard against his chest.
Afterward, he slipped her night rail over her, donned his banyan robe, and drew her to the door. “I’ll watch as you sneak back into the room.”
She blew him a kiss and scampered across the narrow corridor. When she disappeared inside, he shut the door and leaned his back against it. As the sun filled the room, he looked up at the ceiling and whispered, “Thank you.”
Chapter Twenty-three
A Reformed Scoundrel’s Confession: A good woman will make a better man of you.
When the carriage rolled around the circular drive, Hawk took a deep breath. He met Julianne’s gaze. Earlier at an inn, he’d taken her with him to walk the spaniels. He’d warned her they would need to be careful in front of her family. Then he’d told her he planned to ask her brother’s permission to marry her. He’d laughed when she said she would do the proposing.
The carriage halted. A footman opened the door and let down the steps. Hawk climbed out and helped his aunt down. She leaned heavily on his arm. The journey had been hard on her, but she’d never once complained.
When Julianne appeared, he forgot his own warning and gazed at her with his heart in his eyes. Then he reached for her waist and swung her down. They turned together. Tristan stood there, his brows arched.
Julianne ran into her brother’s arms. He held her tightly, but he never took his hard gaze off Hawk.
He met his friend’s gaze, unflinching, determined. I’m going to marry your sister.
Julianne leaned back and looked at her brother. “Where is Tessa?”
“Nursing Christopher,” he said.
The dowager duchess walked down the steps to greet Hester. Julianne ran to her mother and hugged her. “I missed you all so much.”
“Shall we go inside?” Tristan said.
The ladies walked ahead of them.
Hawk strode beside his oldest friend. “Congratulations on your son.”
“He’s a big, healthy boy.” Tristan smiled. “I swear he’s grown already.”
“The duchess is well?” he asked.
“She tires easily, but she loves being a mother.”
“I’m anxious to see him.”
“I hope my sister didn’t give you any trouble,” Tristan said, eyeing him.
“Not too much,” he said.
They walked inside. Hawk watched Julianne’s bottom as she and the other ladies climbed the U-shaped stairwell ahead of them. He thought about their lovemaking all through the night, and slow heat swirled through his veins. Waiting to touch her again would frustrate him, but once they were married, he could have her anytime, anyplace he wanted.
When they entered the drawing room, the ladies sat on the twin sofas. Tristan lifted his chin. “Come, let’s drink to my son.”
Tristan handed him a brandy. They clinked glasses. “To your son,” Hawk said.
“Follow me to the window so we can talk out of earshot,” Tristan said.
Uh-oh. He thought of his friend’s hard look and resisted the urge to tug on his cravat. To hell with what Tristan thought. Julianne was a grown woman, and they were in love.
Tristan sipped his brandy and stared down at the formal gardens. “My mother kept something from me until after Christopher’s birth.”
Hawk sipped his brandy and said nothing.
“I’m glad you were there to protect Julianne from Ramsey. He’s a dastard, and frankly, she’s not ready for marriage.”
Hell. “Julianne surprised me. She’s far more insightful than I imagined.”
Tristan scoffed. “She’s flighty. All those beaux. How many did she turn down this year?”
He supposed he didn’t count now. “There was one young cub who came to me. I told him I couldn’t answer for you. When I put it before your sister, she wasn’t pleased. She’d told the cubs she wanted only their friendshi
p.”
Tristan turned to him. “The cubs?”
“Five young men who called on her often. I was always there to supervise.”
“Good Lord, man. I told you to guard her at balls and such. You must have been bored out of your wits.”
“Believe it or not, I enjoyed visiting Julianne and my aunt.”
When Tristan frowned at him, Hawk sighed. “Living alone is not all it’s cracked up to be.”
“My mother told me you moved back home. I never thought I’d see the day.”
He met his friend’s gaze squarely. “There are things I need to tell you.”
“About my sister?”
“Yes, and something else. We’ll talk later.”
“There she is with my darling grandson,” the dowager duchess said.
Tristan’s eyes lit up. Hawk turned around to find Tessa walking into the drawing room with a blanketed babe in her arms.
Tristan strode over to his wife and kissed her cheek. “He’s awake.”
Hawk watched them and wondered if he’d gotten Julianne with child. He walked over to her and stood beside the sofa. When he looked down at her, she smiled at him with glistening eyes.
Tessa walked over to Julianne. “Would you like to hold him?”
“Very much.” When she cradled the babe in her arms, Hawk’s heart turned over. Someday she would hold their child.
“He’s perfect,” Julianne said.
Hawk bent down and touched the infant’s hand. He grabbed Hawk’s finger. He laughed. “Strong grip.”
“Does he not look like Tristan?” Tessa asked.
Hawk thought he looked like a babe, but he grinned. “By Jove, I think he does look like you, old boy.”
“Would you like to hold him?” Julianne asked.
He shook his head. “I might drop him.”
“Sit beside Julianne,” Tessa said. “Tristan was afraid to hold him at first, too.”
“I was not,” Tristan growled.
Hawk sat beside Julianne.
“Support his head,” she said as she placed the babe in his arms.
He stayed very stiff at first. Baby Christopher opened his eyes and looked at him. “His eyes are blue.”
How to Seduce a Scoundrel Page 31
