by Mindy Hayes
Technically, if I wanted to, I could bond with anyone. It would take some convincing and a little bending of the rules, but it could be done. The question was, was I willing to make that compromise? It wouldn’t be fair of me to be the only one who was exempt from bonding in my own colony. Could I really do that and still feel good about the decision?
Probably not.
The sound of chuckling brought me out of my stupor. “Oh, Your Majesty, can’t handle the pressure already?”
I groaned outwardly, but inside I was beaming, relieved to see him. A part of me wanted to hug him, but I reigned in that unexpected urge. He had made himself scarce all day. I noticed since I’d been here, even while guarding me, he did everything in his power to communicate with me less and less.
“Kai, for what do I owe the honor?”
“My apologies,” he said formally, leaning forward in a bow.
“Get up,” I ordered tiredly with him mid-bow. “It’s bad enough that Evan does that a million times a day as with the rest of the fae. I don’t need it from you, too.”
He offered his playful grin. “I’m simply paying my respects.”
“You say that as if I’ve died.”
“Well, I suppose this is like a rebirth. You do look …” He cocked his head to one side, “… different now.” His indigo eyes trailed from my moccasin covered feet to my crown. I touched it self-consciously. I didn’t like wearing it in the first place, but Evan made it clear I couldn’t get rid of that custom, just yet. I needed something to set me apart from the rest of the fae.
“The faery in me is taking over. I don’t think I look much like a human at all anymore.”
“It’s about time. I was beginning to worry there was no hope for you.”
It sounded like an insult, but coming from Kai, he was probably trying to pay me a compliment. It didn’t change the fact that it made me want to smack him, but I held back the urge. It suddenly occurred to me how mad I was at him and Declan for keeping me in the dark.
“Why didn’t you and Declan tell me I have to bond with another Royal?”
He snorted. “Because it never came up. Why are you so concerned about bonding?”
“Because someday in my future I would like that to be a possibility, and I want to know what my options are. Doesn’t it bother you that you can’t be with anyone but a Sower?” I wanted to take the words back as soon as I said them.
He looked briefly taken aback by my question before he was able to recover. “I’ve never really thought much about it.” He tried sounding nonchalant, but I heard the lie in his voice.
I suddenly didn’t want to know his answer to the question because if bonding with another Sower didn’t bother him he wasn’t concerned about a future with anyone else. “What are you really doing here, Kai?” I steered his attention.
“I came to check up on you,” he said simply. “Making sure you weren’t slowly dismantling this kingdom piece by piece.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I muttered dryly as he chuckled.
“Honestly though, Calliope, are you surviving? Do you think you can handle it all?” I swallowed when he locked his eyes with mine. They watched me with a hint of concern that I wasn’t expecting to see. I disguised the immediate hitch in my breath.
The way my name fell from his lips like it belonged there ignited feelings inside of me that I had never associated with Kai before. I blinked away our eye contact and chuckled humorlessly. “I’m surviving.” I sat back at my newly acquired table, heaving an exhausted breath. “I feel like this was all a big mistake. Some people think I’m their savior while others look at me like I don’t belong here.”
“You belong here,” he assured. “They will see it soon. It’ll just take time.”
I’d recently been repeatedly beaten over and over by his sarcasm that I wasn’t prepared for his concern. I offered him a small smile, but wasn’t reassured by his conviction. “Do you really believe that?”
He blinked and paused a moment before responding. “I do.”
“Where’s Declan?” I asked for lack of anything else to say. My nerves were getting the best of me.
With a subtle eye roll he said, “He stepped away for a minute. I didn’t pry into his whereabouts.” A flicker of annoyance passed in his eyes. He began to retreat, but I wasn’t ready for that yet.
“Kai—”
The assertive footsteps of Evan’s all too familiar gait came from the corridor before he appeared in the doorway.
“Well, Your Majesty,” Kai said, formal again. “Unless there is anything more you require of me I should get back to my duties.”
My brow ruffled for a moment until his eyes urged me to play along.
“No, Kai,” I released him. “Thank you. That will be all.”
He bowed as a trace of a smirk played on his mouth before he showed himself the exit.
“I’ve come to inform you that your dinner is ready.”
“Thanks, Evan. I’ll be right down.”
He nodded and did an about-face, heading back down the hall.
I leaned back in my chair and sighed. I hated that Kai was so impossible to decipher. There had to be a reason why he was so bipolar. It couldn’t just be his personality. It was like everything I said triggered something inside of him. He hated me, and he liked me, but I hadn’t really figured out which one outweighed the other.
• • •
Everything Evan tried to talk to me about for the next few days seemed to blur together. It wasn’t until he said, “The Rymidonians will be here today, Calliope,” that I broke out of the haze. I had almost forgotten about them. Evette and Adelaide appeared in the doorway of the atrium.
I felt like I was drowning in royal business. Just when I thought I couldn’t be filled with any more information Evan served me another gallon full.
“They will be here for dinner so I’ve arranged for a feast. Evette and Adelaide will help you prepare and dress.” He motioned for them to enter. “She must look her best this evening.”
“Will you be there?” I could not do this alone.
He nodded. “And Declan and Kai will stand guard as well.”
I inwardly sighed. I probably would have made them come anyway, but knowing that I didn’t have to eased some anxiety.
Evette and Adelaide had showed me a few dress choices, but the styles were so different from what I was used to, I didn’t know what would look good or if it was appropriate for the occasion. I just had to believe they knew best and wouldn’t put me in something that would make me look bad.
“How do you feel about this one, Calliope?” Adelaide asked, holding a sleeveless olive green dress. Little cream flowers clustered at the top of the bodice and trailed off down the staggered strips of material that made up the long skirt. “I think it’ll bring out the color of your eyes. Let’s try it on.”
A little unsure of how I’d look in it, I nodded. It was very bohemian. I stepped into it and let her lace up the back. It fit the form of my waist perfectly and flowed from my hips to my ankles. I thought the flowers might be a little much, but they somehow added a delicate touch the dress needed.
“And I think we should leave your hair down,” Evette mused while fluffing my curls. “I’ll just add a flower here and a flower here,” she softly talked to herself and intertwined similar creamy blossoms through out my hair. She placed the glass crown on top for the final touch. “There.”
Evette positioned me in front of the floor-length mirror. My ears peeked out below the crown through my curls. My wings always made their presence known with their slight flutters and their need to occasionally fold around me while I slept, but my ears still had a way of catching me off guard.
“You don’t like it? I told you we should have gone with the brown dress,” Evette hissed at Adelaide. “It’s more understated—what she likes.”
“But the brown dress is too dark for this occasion,” Adelaide hissed back. “It would wash her out.”
/> “No. No, it’s fine,” I interrupted their quiet bickering. “Sometimes my appearance still surprises me. That’s all. Thank you, guys. This works. I like the dress. It’s very pretty.”
They beamed, and there was a knock at my door.
“Come in,” I hollered.
When Kai stepped into the room he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. His bluish-purple eyes ran the length of my body and met my eyes, tingling every inch his eyes grazed. I never thought I’d see the day where there would be a speechless Kai.
His expression immediately changed when he realized I’d noticed his stunned expression. He almost looked angry.
“My Queen, the Rymidonians are here,” he said mechanically. “Everyone is ready in the dining room.”
“Don’t sound too thrilled, Kai,” I said playfully to lighten his mood.
He didn’t spout anything back at me like I thought he would. He merely nodded once as if to say I’m done here and walked out.
Who peed in his Cheerios?
• • •
Declan and Kai quietly escorted me down to the dining room. As soon as I walked in the men stood where they had been seated at the long table.
Adair and I were placed at the head of either end of the table, while Sakari and Skye sat on one side and Evan sat on the other.
“It’s good to see you, Calliope. You look lovely this evening.” Adair slightly bowed his head.
“Thank you.” I nodded back.
Declan pulled out my chair. “My Queen.”
“Thanks, Declan.”
After I was seated I looked at Sakari who was dressed in all black. The combination between his dark hair and clothing heightened the glow of his citrus colored eyes. He was already watching me with a smile on his face and then he nodded. My mouth turned up in response. I couldn’t help it if I wanted to. His smile once again did funny things to me, like a little schoolgirl being acknowledged by her first crush. I was not crushing on the new guy. It was just his charming smile. The butterflies didn’t actually mean anything.
Behind me, I heard one of my Keepers obnoxiously clear their throat. I turned to see Kai with a feigned expression of innocence as if he didn’t know why I was looking at him with irritation. He couldn’t be normal to save his life. This was important. If Kai lashed out with one of his juvenile tantrums, we were all going to find out exactly what my supremacy could do.
Adair must have caught the exchange between Sakari and me because he instantly found it as an intro to begin bragging about his son. “Calliope, Sakari has shown potential to be a great leader some day. He has a very big heart and has only ever wanted what is best for the people in our kingdom. He’s made me very proud as I’ve watched him grow.”
I nodded, not really understanding why he was telling me this. I felt Sakari glance at me from the corner of his eye, but I didn’t want to acknowledge him.
“That’s great.” Why couldn’t I think of anything more intelligent or clever to say? I offered a smile.
Two faeries walked in carrying plates of food. One placed a dish in front of me while the other waited to serve the Rymidonians and Evan until I had been served first. After having several meals I noticed this was customary. And no one would take a bite until I had the first bite.
“Thank you, Tania.” I smiled up at her. Her rose-colored eyes refused to meet mine. She nodded graciously and then set the other plate she held in front of Sakari. After all of these weeks here I still hadn’t been able to get her to look at me.
“Thank you, Shea, Tania,” Evan commented.
They bowed and walked out of the dining room.
“Shea and Tania started serving our Royals a little before Favner,” Evan said by way of explaining to me without addressing me. “I think you all will be very pleased with the meal this evening.”
“I’m sure we will,” Adair remarked.
The rest of dinner was carried on with mindless conversation. I thought this was supposed to be a dinner where we spoke about politics and reset our trade system or whatever, but nothing was ever mentioned, and I didn’t know how to bring it up. What if he didn’t want to reinstate the exchange?
“Adair, how did you hear about Favner?” Evan asked. That peaked my interest.
“I had a Keeper check the passageway periodically to see if the barrier had been lifted. I could only assume he was gone. I knew the wards wouldn’t have been taken down unless he was no longer reigning. I’m not sure which kingdoms are aware of the change in the throne.”
“I believe Oraelia may be aware,” Skye input. “But I don’t think anyone else is in the know.”
“I will have to start contacting them to inform them of the adjustments.” Evan directed his attention to me. “Your Highness, we can discuss how you would like to proceed with those affairs tomorrow.”
I merely nodded and kept eating to avoid talking about the other kingdoms. I didn’t even know what they were all called, so how could I even discuss what affairs we needed to get in order?
Adair watched me occasionally as if he were measuring up my potential as a Royal. It was unnerving to know I was being scrutinized, and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t just excuse myself. They were my guests, but somehow I felt more like a stranger in my own house than ever. They had probably been in this castle more often than I had.
When we had finished eating Adair turned his attention on me. “Calliope, I understand there was quite the standoff between you and Favner in the forest. How did you manage to escape him?”
The only one that knew that night haunted my dreams was Kai. Favner’s spine-chilling voice in my ear, his hands on me, the fear of losing Declan and Kai, Favner’s death at the hand of Kai. I could never escape it. Though I blocked it out of my mind as much as I could during my waking hours, I couldn’t fight off the images while I slept. Talking about it with Adair would only bring the memories to life, but everyone was looking expectantly at me. I knew I was eventually going to have to retell it. I couldn’t stay mute about that night forever.
“It wasn’t without difficulty, but I had the best protectors. I wouldn’t have survived that night without Kai and Declan.”
Adair nodded approvingly. “That must be why you keep them by your side now, though they do not belong as true Keepers.”
Was he judging my choice? Did he disapprove? What did it matter if he did? Faylinn was mine to run. I still had to remind myself of that fact daily. I shifted uncomfortably, trying to figure out how to respond to his comment.
Then someone spoke up before I could, and it surprised me that it wasn’t Declan or Kai, nor was it Evan.
“I’m sure Calliope knows what’s best for her and her kingdom. It mustn’t be easy to be thrown into all of this. I understand her need for consistency.” Sakari offered me a respectful smile and then peered back at his father with confidence, unafraid of his father questioning his allegiance. “She trusts them.”
He got me. He didn’t even know me.
I cleared my throat to gain back some ground. I should have been the one to answer Adair with such certainty and so boldly. Yet, it was Sakari who defended and came to my rescue. “Yes. That’s exactly why. I know and trust these two with my life. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“I can respect that,” Adair stated with a supporting nod. “Good choice.”
“Thank you, sir.” He looked at me with a funny expression. “I mean … Adair, thank you.” I was his equal. I needed to stop feeling so incompetent. I needed to stop showing my insecurity.
After awhile it was more like Adair, Evan, and Skye talked while Sakari and I listened. Sakari eventually reached over and touched my wrist, leaning into me.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Kai take a step forward then stop.
“Would you like to take a walk with me, Your Grace?”
Declan and Kai bickered noiselessly behind me. As much as I tried I couldn’t make out what they said. It was all hushed grunts and mumbling.
My heart picked up its pace. “Umm …” I took a breath. “Sure.”
Kai left the room then with one last grumble. As I scanned the table it didn’t seem as though anyone else noticed the exchange that took place behind me. Evan had Skye and Adair pretty occupied with stories of Favner’s cruelty, and that was the last thing I wanted to hear about.
Sakari offered his hand for me to take as we got up from the table. “You’ll have to excuse us,” he whispered in my ear. “Royal decorum and such as queen.”
“Uhh …” I uttered so eloquently. “If you’ll excuse us, Sakari and I are going to go for a walk.”
The three of them lifted their heads. Smiles rose on Evan and Adair faces while Skye’s remained indifferent. He watched me skeptically, almost as if he didn’t trust me.
“Enjoy the walk. We will remain here until you return.” Adair looked all too pleased.
Once we were on our own, Sakari let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry.”
I let my eyes meet his, though my nerves were circling the veins in my body. “Excuse me?”
“This … this is very awkward. It must be for you.” His eyes had captured me before, but now it was his voice. He had a hint of an accent. Irish maybe or Scottish?
“What’s awkward?”
“It’s very forward of my father to think he can just show up so soon after you’ve arrived and set up this official meeting between you and me.”
Official meeting? Oh. Oh! My stomach curled in on itself when I realized this was more than a dinner to discuss business between the two kingdoms. How stupid I was to think anything less. This was a straight up Royal matching. Of course Adair wanted to throw Sakari into the mix as a contender for my bonding, and Evan was apart of it.
That slimy little traitor.
Deep breaths. That’s all I could do. I chuckled without feeling much humor in the situation. “A little, yeah.”
“I know. I’m sorry. You’re the first female heir in centuries. But I’m sure every kingdom is bombarding you by now.”
I was? “No, not really. At least not yet.” Oh jeez. Is this what it was to become until I found someone? A bunch of Royals making their presence known? Awkward set up meeting after awkward set up meeting? “I think the word is still spreading that Favner is gone.”
