by Jae
“I didn’t even notice her flirting,” Ky said. “I was totally focused on you.”
Laughing, Regan shook her head at both of them. “How did we not know?”
“I have no idea.” Ky reached for her glass and studied Regan over the rim.
“What?”
“Have you ever…?” Ky glanced into the depths of the blackberry lemonade while she thought about how to phrase her question. This was definitely not the usual first-date small talk. “Before you came up with the idea to go on a date to prove there was zero chemistry between us, had you ever felt anything other than friendship for me?”
Regan took another bite and chewed it thoroughly, as if needing time to think about it. “If you’d asked me that a month or two ago, I would have said no.”
Ky hung on her every word. When Regan didn’t immediately continue, she asked, “But now…?”
“Now I think deluding myself is apparently one of my many talents.” Regan dug a few pieces of ham out of her potato pie. She stared at them for a moment, then ate them and peered at Ky. “Do you remember how I didn’t date all through high school?”
“Of course.” Back then, Ky had been incredibly jealous of all the boys who’d asked Regan out, but Regan had never given any of them the time of day.
“I assumed I was a late bloomer, but now I’m no longer sure. I mean, with everything else, I was always the first one to try out new stuff and follow my impulses.”
Ky nodded. Regan had always dove headfirst into new adventures, eager to experience everything life had to offer. “Why do you think it was different with dating?”
“I’m not sure. Other people just didn’t register for me romantically or sexually.”
“Other people,” Ky repeated. Her breathing hitched. “Meaning…I did?”
Regan fiddled with her fork while she seemed to think about it. “On an unconscious level…I think so. I mean, we kind of acted as if we were a couple, don’t you think?” With a grin, she added, “Well, minus the make-out sessions under the bleachers.”
Ky had never really thought of it that way. For her, they had always been Regan and Ky, an unbeatable unit, but she had never thought her crush might not be so unrequited after all. “Hmm, maybe you are right.”
“Maybe? For Christ’s sake, I took you to prom!”
“Causing quite the stir.” Ky had admired her so much for standing up to parents and admin and for not caring what everyone else thought of her dancing with an out lesbian.
Regan shrugged. “I didn’t care. I couldn’t imagine going with anyone else.”
“How do you know that wasn’t just you wanting to share it with your best friend, even though I didn’t go to the same school anymore?”
“I thought that’s all it was, but I kept our prom picture on my bedside table until sophomore year of college.”
Ky waved her hand in a “so what?” gesture.
“You looked incredibly hot in that suit.”
Ky couldn’t help grinning. “You thought so?”
“Melissa thought I thought so. God, she was so jealous of you. I finally had to put the photo away because she wouldn’t let it go. It was ridiculous. After all, I was just admiring your cute bow tie—or so I thought.”
“But you never had any inkling that maybe your feelings weren’t completely platonic?”
Regan firmly shook her head. “I was totally oblivious. It’s like I slapped the label ‘base’ on you and put you into the bases cabinet along with all the other bases, and when I was looking for an acid to create an interesting reaction, I rooted through the acid cabinet but never thought to look in the bases cabinet. It was only during our little chemistry experiment that I started to realize I had mislabeled you.”
In high school, Ky had hated chemistry with a passion, but Regan’s chemistry analogies were the cutest thing since evolution had come up with baby otters.
Chuckling, Regan slapped one hand in front of her eyes and peeked at Ky through her fingers. “Sorry, that probably made no sense whatsoever.”
“No, it made perfect sense.”
Regan dropped her hand back onto the table. “It did?”
Ky nodded. “I had you locked away tightly in a cabinet too.”
“Wow. The next time someone plans to develop a hermetic seal for a spaceship or something, they should hire us. Considering that neither of us had the slightest idea, we seem to be quite good at it.”
Ky smoothed her finger over her eyebrow. “Maybe they should hire only you. My seal would have made the entire ship explode at launch.”
“You mean…you knew?”
Ky’s cheeks burned. “Back in high school, I had a pretty big crush on you. God, I lived for those moments when you hugged me or held my hand, and I could never quite make up my mind whether our sleepovers were heaven or hell.”
It was the first time since her teen years that she let herself remember those feelings, and they rushed over her with an intensity that made it hard to breathe.
“I…I don’t know what to say.” Regan shook her head as if wanting to get rid of molasses that suddenly filled her brain. “I really had no idea. Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“And risk losing you? No. I was convinced you were straight. By the time you brought home Melissa and I realized you weren’t, everything had changed, so I stuffed my feelings into a box and convinced myself I’d outgrown my crush.”
Regan reached across the table and took Ky’s hand. “Not everything changed. Your dad going to prison, you moving away…none of that could change our bond.”
Ky clasped their fingers in a tight grip. “It changed me. I didn’t think I was great relationship material, and you deserve only the best.”
Regan squeezed so hard it almost hurt. “You are the best, Kylie.”
It had been years since Regan had used her full first name. It felt as if Regan was clutching her heart, not just her hand. “I’m not sure I’ll ever see myself the way you do, but I’m starting to think that maybe I can be the best person for you.”
“You are,” Regan said without the faintest trace of hesitation. “No more doubts, okay? And no more airtight containers…unless there are cookies inside.”
Ky burst out laughing, and the last bit of tension fled from her shoulders. God, Regan was so good at that! She was definitely the best person for Ky. “I’ll drink to that.”
They clinked glasses and looked into each other’s eyes while sipping their lemonade.
Finally, Regan put her glass down and picked up her fork. “Now let’s finish our food so I can indulge in another advantage of dating my best friend.”
“Getting rid of the dressy clothes after dinner?” Ky asked with a grin.
“I thought you wanted to go slow? But, hey, if you want to get naked, I’m not stopping you.” A mischievous curl of Regan’s lips indicated that she was teasing, but the hint of desire in her eyes still made Ky tingle all over.
“Jeez! I was talking about getting rid of the dressy clothes to put on sweats!”
“I like that option too, but I actually meant licking the plate.”
At the thought of Regan’s tongue slowly trailing up and down the porcelain, a wave of heat engulfed Ky’s entire body. She tugged on the collar of her shirt to fan herself. While they were still as comfortable around each other as before, some things had changed. Plate licking would never be the same again.
* * *
“If we keep this up,” Regan breathlessly whispered against Ky’s lips, “I’ll develop a fetish for your front door.”
Ky let out a hoarse chuckle and pulled back a few inches. “I was thinking of giving it a new coat of paint, but I think I’ll keep it.” She leaned one shoulder against the red-painted wood as if her knees had gone as weak as Regan’s.
“Your landlord wouldn’t allow it anyway—and neither would your girlfriend.” Calling herself that still gave Regan a rush.
Ky’s broad grin revealed that she felt the same. “I accept b
ribes.”
“You want bribes? I already made you dinner.”
“Yeah, but there wasn’t any dessert.”
Regan lightly tapped Ky’s nose, then couldn’t resist trailing her fingers over her cheek, the corner of her mouth, and the dip below her bottom lip. “You didn’t want dessert, remember?”
“When did I say—oh. I said I didn’t want dessert yet. Big difference.”
“True.” Regan smoothed her hand over Ky’s collar to straighten it. Strange how she’d never consciously thought about Ky like that—and now couldn’t stop thinking about it or touching her.
Ky sighed. “I should go in. It’s getting late, and Lilia is probably pressing her nose against the window, watching us.”
Regan playfully rolled her eyes. “She really needs a boyfriend…or girlfriend.”
“We’re not going to turn into two of those annoying people who are always trying to set up all their friends, now that we’re together, are we?” Ky asked.
“Not planning on it. But you have to admit our annoying friends were right about us.”
“I’d like to think we would have figured it out on our own eventually, but if I’m honest…yeah, I probably wouldn’t have. I’ve gotten better at putting the lid on that hermetically sealed box over the years.”
Regan hummed in agreement. “You have. Never in a million years would I have guessed that you ever saw me as anything but your best friend or maybe an adopted sister that you have to get out of trouble every now and then.”
Ky firmly shook her head. “You were always family to me, but never like a sister.”
“That describes it perfectly for me too.” Regan shifted her car keys to the other hand. “Okay, I’ll leave now.”
“You’ve said that three or four times already.” Amusement colored Ky’s tone.
“You also said you really should get inside a few times before,” Regan shot back.
Ky laughed. “Okay, okay. One last kiss, then we part ways.”
“That was what stopped us from actually going the last six times.”
“So you don’t want me to kiss you?” Ky asked with a teasing grin.
“No.” Regan leaned up and slid her free hand around Ky’s neck. “Because I want to be the one kissing you.” And then she did.
Maybe there really was something about that front door…or more likely it was its owner. This time, their kiss heated up within a second.
Ky’s mouth molded to hers with the same perfection the rest of their bodies did. The velvety slide of her tongue made Regan clutch her shoulder.
Ky splayed both hands across the small of Regan’s back, as if caught between the attempt to rein herself in and the urge to pull her closer.
Finally, the lights of a car that pulled into the parking lot broke them apart.
Regan blinked her eyes into focus and licked her tingling lips. They really had blown the lids off those airtight containers for good. On legs that felt wobbly, she took a step back. “Good night,” she got out.
“Oh yeah.” Ky cleared her throat. “Um, I mean, night, Regan. Sweet dreams.”
When Regan slid into the driver’s seat, a metallic jangle from the direction of the front door revealed that Ky had dropped her keys.
Regan smiled all the way home.
* * *
Half an hour later, as Regan crawled into bed, not sure if she would be able to sleep, her phone buzzed with a text.
She reached for it and wasn’t surprised to find a message from Ky.
How was your date?
Um, Ky had been there for it all, from the first, slightly shy hello to the mind-blowing kiss good night. Why did she—?
Then realization hit her. It was the kind of text they had always sent each other whenever one of them had been on a date with someone else. Since they still hadn’t told anyone but her parents and Ky’s roommate about them, Ky was slipping into her best-friend role so Regan would have someone to talk to about their date!
Regan clutched the phone to her chest. Ky was so cute, it was killing her. Quickly, she lifted the phone to eye level and typed back.
Promising. Very, very promising.
Good, Ky replied. So I don’t have to kick your date’s butt all over Portland?
A giggle escaped Regan. Now that could be interesting. But no, no butt-kicking required. What about you? How was your date?
Ky took a while to reply, as if she had to search for the right words. It was a clear 100 on the pH scale.
Just when Regan had thought Ky couldn’t get any cuter. Grinning, she typed back, The pH scale only goes to 14.
It was a 14, then.
Regan laughed out loud. That’s about the pH of drain cleaner. Are you comparing our date to drain cleaner?
Our date? I’m talking to Friend Regan right now.
Right. So, your date with Drain-Cleaner Woman was everything you could ask for?
It was the best date of my life, Ky replied. She even cooked!
Wow, Regan typed back, thumbs flying across the small screen while she grinned widely. She really must be head over heels in love with you.
Then she froze. Shit, shit, shit. She hadn’t meant to tell her. Not yet. Not via text. And especially not after Ky had requested they take things slow so they wouldn’t get overwhelmed and mess things up.
Ky didn’t answer for what seemed like an eon.
Shit! Should she try to laugh it off?
No. Ky had climbed up the ladder to the tree house even though she’d been scared. Now it was her turn to be brave. Can I call you? she typed with trembling fingers. I mean, can Girlfriend Regan call you?
Of course she can, Ky replied. You can.
Heart pounding wildly, Regan tapped on Ky’s name at the top of her favorites list.
The phone rang for only a second.
“Hi,” Ky said quietly. “Don’t worry. I know you were just kidding around.”
Regan swallowed against her tight throat. Ky was giving her an out, but she realized she didn’t want it. “Actually…I wasn’t. I mean, I was teasing, but I meant what I said. I didn’t plan for it to come out that way, and I know you said you want to go slow, and it’s totally all right if you aren’t ready to hear it or say it, especially not on the phone and—”
“Regan, breathe.”
She sucked in some much-needed air. “Sorry,” she said, not even sure what she was apologizing for—tossing around the word love so soon or nearly passing out from rambling.
“No. Don’t be sorry. I’m not.”
Regan paused. “You’re not?”
“No. Last Sunday, when I slept over and woke up holding you…” Ky drew an audible breath. “That’s when I realized that I’m in love with you. I’ve always loved you, but I never let myself comprehend how deep my feelings go.”
The bedroom blurred before Regan’s eyes as tears welled up. She had sensed it in every touch, every kiss, every baked good Ky had left on her desk this week. But hearing it made her heart thrum with joy. “I’m in love with you too.”
Ky let out a long groan. “God, why didn’t I stay over? You have no idea how much I want to hold you right now.”
“I think I have a pretty good idea.” Regan’s voice shook with laughter and an overload of emotion. “Do you want me to come get you?”
“No,” Ky said. Then, after a moment, she repeated, “No,” as if talking herself out of it. “We said we’d take things slow.”
“So far, we don’t seem to be doing so well on that front, do we? We confessed our love after the very first date.”
“Yeah, even if you count the dates our friends talked us into, that would be rushing things with anyone else,” Ky said. “But it’s different with us.”
It was. Everything was different with Ky. “I know. I feel like our first date has spanned the past twenty-five years.”
Ky laughed. “So when you puked on me because you had been—and I quote—conducting important scientific research on the flavors of different-colored
M&Ms, that was really you asking me out?”
“Well, it worked, didn’t it? I left quite the impression.”
“That you did.”
They chuckled together, then silence filled the connection for a few seconds.
“Ky?” Her voice came out breathless and with a bit of a quiver.
“Yes?”
“Would you sleep with me?”
Muffled noises drifted through the phone, as if it had slid from Ky’s grasp and she was now fumbling for it.
Regan flopped onto her belly and buried her burning face against her pillow. “Uh, I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I meant will you stay on the phone with me while I fall asleep? I’m tired, but I don’t want to end the call and miss a second with you.”
“Aww. Of course I will. Want me to sing you a lullaby?” Humor entered Ky’s tone.
Regan loved that their teasing banter hadn’t disappeared from their interaction now that more tender emotions were involved. “No, thanks. I’ve heard you sing.” They both laughed, then Regan turned off the light. “Just keep talking to me.”
“Anything in particular you want me to say?”
In the darkness of her bedroom, Ky’s voice sounded even more intimate, making Regan shiver. She wrapped her free arm around the pillow and pretended she was holding Ky. “Tell me you love me.”
“I love you.”
It wasn’t the words alone; it was the way Ky said them—all soft and melting, as if the emotions were flowing out of her.
“I love you too,” Regan whispered and realized she’d used the same tone.
It took her quite some time—and several more “I love yous”—to fall asleep, but she had never looked forward to waking up in the morning so much before. She couldn’t wait to see Ky again and to tell her in person.
Chapter 15
Early the next evening, Ky whistled a song as she tied her sneakers and got ready for Regan to pick her up.
“Jenna Blake?” Lilia asked as she passed her in the short hallway between their rooms. “I guess seeing her in concert turned you into a fan.”
Ky shrugged and suppressed a grin. “She’s growing on me.”
