“So, you steal them instead and wind up in the white man’s jail? And you wonder why your mother is fed up? Boy if you don’t take your Bookman having buffalo-butt ass on over there and beg for your mother’s forgiveness I swear I’ll-” Tommy threatened raising his hand like he was going to backhand his younger cousin.
“Okay-okay! No need to get physical. I’m going.” Guy said then nervously dragged his feet over to his mother. She looked at him upset then gave in and held her son. Tommy smiled at the scene.
“Well cut my legs off and call me shorty! If it ain’t my favorite nu-nu-nephew!” said the man who called Corbin a cat person, as he walked up cradling a tall can of Schaefer, grinning like he hadn’t a care in the world.
“Hey Uncle Booze.” Tommy said embracing him then quickly turned his head after catching a whiff of his intoxicating breath.
“Now I gots’ta give it to you nephew, when it comes to stylin’ you don’t play. That is a baaad out-fit! Ron O’Neal ain’t got nothing on you. But your uncle don’t play either. Dig my new threads.” Uncle Booze said holding out his arms and turning to model a loud colorful outfit that was an LSD trip on material. “Now is your Uncle also a bad dresser or what?”
“Oh yeah Uncle Booze, it looks…pretty bad.” Tommy fronted with a plastic smile.
“See that’s why you was always my favorite nephew. You got taste. Now your cousin Guy wouldn’t know taste if it bit him on his ass. He’s gonna tell me I look like a low-budget Huggy Bear but I told him, don’t hate the playa, hate the game.” Booze said cracking himself up then emptied his beer in one sip.
Tommy laughed at his Uncle’s antics. “So I see you didn’t waste no time getting your drink on.”
“You know me youngster. I gots’ta have my nerve medicine.” Uncle Booze said then raised his brow when he turned to Donnie. “Man O’ Manishevitz! Who is this vision of beauty sent from the heavens up above?”
“Simmer down Uncle Booze, this is my friend Donnie. Donnie this is my Uncle Sheldon. My mother’s brother.” He leaned in to Donnie and whispered on the sly, “But for obvious reasons we call him Uncle Booze.”
Before Donnie could ask what obvious reasons? The strong smell of alcohol coming off of Booze’s breath punched her in the nose and she stepped back holding out her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“The pleasure’s all mines. Man Tommy, I needs to hang out with you boy. Yes siree! Cause this one here is as fine as a square of butter on a warm corn muffin. Hot and yellow!”
“Um thanks…I think.” Donnie said.
“You’re welcome Sugar.”
“So how’re the ladies treating you Uncle Booze?” Tommy asked.
Uncle Booze shook his head pitifully, “I never did do good in relationships. My ol’ lady gonna tell me she’s thinking about leaving her husband. I told her if you leave your husband, then we’re through!”
“You’re too much,” Tommy said as he and Donnie cracked up at his uncle’s foolishness.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I see a sweet young thang that look like she could use a sip of Booze.” Uncle Booze said eyeing an attractive woman across the room.
“Careful you’re not as young as you used to be.” Tommy teased.
“And you know what I got to say to that? A man is a young as the women he feels.” Uncle Booze said and danced off.
Soon after, Tommy was approached by countless other relatives to pose for photos with and listen to old stories of when he was yay-high. Ever the gentleman, Tommy listened quietly, thoughtfully scratching his head in an effort to remember his family lineage. In the mix of things, he turned to Donnie who was gazing at him through wide infatuated eyes.
“My family. The Huxtable’s we ain’t,” Tommy joked.
“I think your family is great.” Donnie said. Watching him interact with his family made him more attractive than all the times she had seen him flexing without his shirt on.
The door rang and no one seemed to hear it so Tommy got up from his Nana and Grampa Smurf’s side to answer it. On the way he noticed his father whisper something in his mother’s ear that was so funny she almost spilled her drink. It was sort of weird to see them behaving like a young couple in love and he was not sure why it was happening but he was grateful it was. He unlocked the door and Laquita came in carrying AJ. She looked a bit haggard leaning in for a kiss then stepped aside for Bug-Out to come through. Tommy had been anxiously waiting all night to see his cousin so he could tell him how proud he was of his progress, but when Bug-Out walked in he was taken back by his emaciated appearance.
“Hey man how you doing?” Bug-Out asked smiling.
Tommy was speechless. Bug-Out was thinner than he had ever seen him before. “I’m chilling man.” He said moving and speaking like the effort may do him in.
“What, no love?” Bug-Out asked with wide arms.
Tommy leaned in and hugged him. The depth of their bond was evident from the water that they both fought back in their eyes.
“Damn this party is all the way live!” Bug-Out said waving to family and friends as he removed his coat.
Tee-Tee came running up and threw her arms around Bug-Out so forcefully she almost tackled him to the floor and he looked embarrassed at his lack of strength.
“Tee-Tee let the man take his coat off and get settled in before being a brat.” Tommy said.
“How rude!” Tee-Tee said then stuck out her tongue. “Guess what? Tommy’s got a new girlfriend and she’s real pretty!”
Tommy shook his head at his sister for having a bigmouth but was glad the spotlight was removed from his cousin.
“And she’s here? That’s kinda weird ain’t it?” Laquita asked.
“Nah, besides Nicky’s new boyfriend is here too.” Tommy said.
“Where?” Bug-Out asked.
“There,” Tommy said pointing at Corbin out looking sour across the room.
“Where?” Bug-Out asked again.
“Right there.”
“Quit playing. Not the grumpy looking old dude? You can’t be serious,” Bug-Out asked surprised.
“As a heart attack!” Tommy said just as stunned.
“Talk about things that make you go hmmm.” Laquita commented.
“Damn all that. I wanna meet your girl cause knowing you playboy, I’ll bet she’s bad and not bad meaning bad, but bad meaning good.” Bug-Out sad nudging his cousin in the ribs.
“I am standing right here.” Laquita reminded him.
“Just messing wit you sugar pie.” Bug-Out said and kissed her.
Tommy introduced Donnie to Bug-Out and Laquita and Bug-Out admitted on the down low that his cousin’s new lady was just about as fine as you can get without crossing over into cosmic regions.
James Brown’s, ‘Sex Machine’ made people put their drinks down, grab the closest arm and hit the dance floor. It was a sight to see Smitty and Carla doing the bump as they hammed it up for the crowd and cameras flashed like paparazzi to get proof of the monumental moment in case it was denied later. Uncle Booze pulled Donnie on the dance floor and made up names for bogus dance moves like ‘Reeling in the fish’ and ‘The frog in heat’ as he shouted, “Watch out there now! Girl you don’t know nuthin ‘bout dis here!”
Guy started a Soul Train line when New Edition’s ‘Candy Girl’ came on and began pop locking like Rerun down the center. The DJ kept the flow going with an eclectic mix of old and new hits by artists; The Sugar Hill Gang, Eric B. and Rakim, DJ Jazzy Fresh and The Fresh Prince, Marvin Gaye, Run DMC, Big Daddy Kane, Salt N’ Pepa, Whitney Houston, Kool and the Gang, Earth Wind and Fire, Kurtis Blow, The Commodores, Public Enemy and many others. Tommy and Tee-Tee boogied to Cyndi Lauper’s, ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun’ as the family chanted, ‘Go Tee-Tee! It’s your birthday!’ and she jumped about thoroughly enjoying her party.
After the song ended Tommy came over to where Donnie and Nicky were standing.
“This party is da bomb!” Tom
my said wiping sweat from his forehead.
“Yes, it is going rather well. Tee-Tee’s enjoying herself.” Nicky agreed watching the birthday girl across the room.
The infectious beat of Levert’s, ‘Casanova’, came on as Corbin walked up.
“Come on Corbin let’s dance.” Nicky asked.
Corbin darted his eyes around at people dancing and looked nervous. “Um I’d like to but I have this really bad cramp.” He said stooping over.
“That time of the month?” Tommy laughed then turned to Donnie and led her to the middle of the room and danced close enough to be Siamese twins.
Corbin asked Nicky a question but she was angry with him for making her look bad by not dancing that she ignored him. This pissed him off and he stormed off into the kitchen. A few minutes later Guy was rubbing his belly, starving like Marvin for some more of those delicious little meatballs. The hot trays were empty so he poked his head in the kitchen. What he saw made his mouth drop and eyes bulge. He slapped his hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t burst into laughter and felt somebody had to see this and waved everybody over.
People came over to see what had Guy about to pee on himself and peeked inside. There standing in the middle of the kitchen with his back to the door was Corbin trying to mimic Tommy’s smooth soulful dance moves. But instead of mimicking Tommy he looked like he was having a seizure as he flailed his arms about minus any rhythm. Nicky came over to see what was going on as Corbin attempted to perform the Snake and banged his head against a cabinet.
“Looking good Mister Kotter.” Guy said unable to contain himself any longer and burst out laughing. Corbin spun around shock-faced.
When the rhythmless black man saw that he had an audience he felt like Fred Flintstone shrinking from embarrassment. Tommy made eye contact with him and shook his head then headed back into the living room.
“What was going on in there?” Donnie asked.
“Nothing important. Trust me.” Tommy smiled and led her back to the dance floor in time to slow dance to ‘Lady In Red’ by Chris De Berg
“I’m really glad I came.” Donnie admitted.
“Just now? While we were dancing? I know I’m good, but damn!” Tommy smiled as Donnie shook her head at his foolishness. “Look Dee I know you think that I only wanted you to come today so that I could have a date. And I admit in the beginning it kinda was the reason I asked. But, I don’t know, after you left upset the other day it made me realize that you were right. True this may have started out as a method of connivance for two people with hectic lives who like to have sex without any strings, but it has become so much more than that. I also realized something else.”
“And that is?” Donnie asked hanging on to every word.
“That I have strong feelings for you.” Tommy said then twirled and dipped her.
Donnie looked up at Tommy and felt butterflies in her stomach. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”
With the back of his hand Tommy gently brushed Donnie’s cheek. “That’s why I won’t just yet. It’s like I have these feelings inside but I want to express them to you in the right way.”
Donnie nodded but she was a little disappointed. It wasn’t like she expected him to drop to one knee in front of everyone and propose. She was not even ready for that. But it would have been nice for him to say those three words she longed to hear. Still she was grateful he was not attempting to toy with her emotions. “Well you know how I feel Tommy. But don’t expect me to wait forever.” Donnie said. She had convinced herself while getting dressed to come to Tee-Tee’s party that no matter what she was not going to allow herself to be hurt by Tommy again and if it meant that today was the last time she would ever see him, then so be it.
“I know.” Tommy whispered staring deep into her eyes at her soul. He could actually see the love this woman had for him and he felt honored yet undeserving at the same time.
Carla came over. “Hi, can I borrow my son for a minute?”
“Of course.” Donnie smiled feeling uneasy around her.
As mother and son walked off Donnie sighed inwardly, “God, either I’m really naïve, or really self-destructive.” She glanced across the room taking in the party and caught Nicky staring at her. The awkward moment ended when Nicky immediately went into the kitchen. “Great.”
“So, what do you think Ma?” Tommy asked anxiously. “Isn’t she great?”
“She seems very nice Tommy.” Carla replied nonchalantly.
“Ma. Nice ain’t a word. It’s an insult. Donnie is a dime piece. In fact, she’s a Susan B. Anthony!” Tommy insisted trying to persuade his mom to see what he saw in the beautiful woman.
“Tommy what do you want me to say? I only met the young lady an hour ago. And if memory serves, didn’t you say she wasn’t even coming and that you were no longer seeing her?”
“Well yeah, true. But we’re good now.”
“Exactly why I don’t go by first impressions. Shoot I didn’t even warm up to Nicky when I first met her and now look at us.” Carla replied.
Tommy rolled his eyes and sighed. “Why don’t you say what’s really on your mind Ma. She’s not Nicky right?”
“Well truth be told, I’ve known Nicky for a long time. I’ve come to love her like a daughter.” Carla reasoned.
Tommy shook his head a little disappointedly. Regardless of how old he was, it was still nice to get his parents approval. “Well Pop likes her.”
“Yeah well all your father sees is a pretty face. Plus she stroked his ego. You men eat that stuff up.”
“What’s up with you two anyway? You seem awfully chummy.” Tommy asked changing the topic.
“Later. Right now it’s time for your sister’s cake.”
“Yeah. But you’re not off the hook that easy young lady. We’ll discuss this later.” Tommy teased kissing his mother on the cheek then went into the kitchen.
Corbin and Nicky were trading angry words and when Tommy entered they stopped. Corbin highly upset, brushed by Tommy and stormed out. As the door closed behind him Tommy heard Uncle Booze announce, “That’s five y’all, drink up!”
“Yo Nicky, Uncle Booze started a drinking game on how many times your man storms out of a room,” Tommy laughed.
“Great. At this rate we’ll have to drive everybody home.” Nicky rolled her eyes and pulled out a book of matches and a pack of Virginia Slims.
“You’re smoking now?” Tommy asked surprised. She was such a health nut when they were married that he could not believe she smoked. Nicky shrugged and took a drag. “Since when? How long?”
“Only a few months?” Nicky said then blew a cloud like an old pro. “What’s the big deal? You smoke cigarettes and weed.”
“Yeah but you called it a nasty habit and said you would never smoke cancer sticks.”
“That was then, this is now!” Nicky snapped.
“O-K.” Tommy could see she was tense and dropped the subject. He began to light the candles.
Nicky shook her head with a grin. “Sorry I should not have blown up at you.”
“It’s cool.” Tommy waved, already over it. “You and he alright?” he asked gesturing at the door Corbin walked out of.
“All things considered…relatively speaking…from an objective point of view…in the context of the moment…” Nicky stopped beating around the bush when Tommy shot her a look that he was not buying it. “Aw who am I fooling? Stevie Wonder can see Corbin and I aren’t exactly happy.” She finally admitted.
“So I take it he’s not the one?” Tommy asked.
“Hmph! He’s not the one, two, three, four, or five!”
Tommy quietly stroked his goatee. This was obviously one of those situations where he was supposed to listen but not comment. Nicky stared at the flickering candles for a long moment before speaking. Outside in the living room she could hear Whitney Houston singing ‘Where do broken hearts Go?’ and it made her feel even worse.
“
I remember it like it was yesterday when all those people out there were my in-laws.”
It sounded to Tommy like Nicky regretted getting a divorce but he was not about to assume anything.
“You know why I took up smoking?” she asked. Tommy shook his head clueless. “Because I needed something to take my mind off of being lonely. Not to mention lack of sex.”
“Hold up, wait a minute, you mean you and he aren’t? You two’ve never? You’re saying that you and Joe College don’t-” Tommy asked uncomfortably finally using X-rated hand gestures to say what his mouth wouldn’t.
Nicky rested against the refrigerator. “Let’s just say it ain’t happening. So now I smoke or do extra work with the after school workshops to keep busy.”
“Sorry to hear that.” Tommy lied.
“Don’t be. The kids are benefiting and the extra money allowed me to remodel my kitchen.”
“That’s nice and all but it’s not what I meant.” Tommy said.
“Yeah-I know.” Nicky said looking riddled with self-doubt as all her youthful features started to sag like air being let out of a balloon. “Corbin’s nice but I never was really into him. I was lonely after we divorced and well, he seemed like a change-”
“From me?” Tommy asked.
Nicky shrugged. “So Donnie seems nice.” she said tired of hearing about her life.
“Yeah she’s cool.” Tommy smiled the way he used to smile when he thought about her and it bothered her.
“But I had no idea you were into ‘Not-Quites.’”
“Huh?”
“As in Not-Quite-Black.”
“Oh cut it out, Donnie’s black.”
“Please that girl is light bright and damn near white.”
“I know you’re not trying to say that I’m dating Donnie because she’s light skinned.” Tommy asked. Nicky did not answer, but her actions all pointed to yes. “That’s ludicrous! You and I were high school sweethearts. Married for years. For that matter I can argue that the reason you are dating your man is because he is educated and has seen the world, unlike myself.”
Nicky sighed. “So does Donnie know about what you do?”
Havoc and Mayhem Page 22
