“Ok, still a touchy subject. And what do you mean? Nothing’s up!” Tommy asked avoiding Nicky’s gaze.
“What, you think just because we’re no longer married that I don’t know when something’s bothering you? How you’ll turn up your drink to take the edge off. The way you drum your fingers on the table.” Tommy looked down at his fingers and immediately stopped tapping. “So what is it?” Nicky asked genuinely concerned.
Tommy shrugged and stared at the bottom of his glass. “I used to compare Trouble Consulting to watching the coming attractions to an action movie. But just like those movies, it turned out to be a rip-off. Between all the good parts is the shit you don’t see until you’ve already paid for your large popcorn and Coke. That’s when you discover it’s not as good as you thought it’d be.”
“O-kay I know you’re making an analogy here, but I’m lost. So you mind telling me what you’re talking about, in layman terms?” Nicky asked.
Tommy looked up from his drink. “Today for the first time, I messed up a consulting gig. Big time!”
Nicky’s eyes stretched. “What? Oh my goodness! Are you Okay?”
Tommy nodded and his throat constricted a little as he spoke. “I’m fine but the dear sweet old woman I promised to protect…she almost died.”
“Oh honey, I’m really sorry. But she’s going to be okay right?”
Tommy nodded with a frown. “Yes but the fact remains I almost blew it. Then on top of that I find out Bug-Out’s got AIDS.”
“No!” Nicky gasped a second time. “But how?”
“He was weak to the streets. He’s been shooting that garbage into his veins for a while and it caught up with him.” Tommy said and rubbed his face wearily. Nicky was speechless. All she could do was shake her head in disbelief. She had known Bug-Out almost as long as she had known Tommy and even set him up with a few of her girlfriends when they were younger and he was a different person. The tragic news was definitely a shocker.
“What about Laquita, and little AJ?”
“Laquita’s smoking base.” Tommy growled.
“No way! Not Laquita! Oh God, poor little AJ.” Nicky was in shock and couldn’t close her mouth.
“I had to go and get him outta’ there. He’s with his grandmother now.”
“I am so sorry to hear that Tommy.”
Someone fed the jukebox and it began to croon ‘Misty Blue’ by Dorothy Moore. Art imitated life as Nicky swayed along while reminiscing to the deep-rooted lyrics that had a lot of pain and joy at the same time.
♫Oh it’s been such a long-long time. Look like I’d get you off of my mind. But I can’t. Just the thought of you, turns my whole world misty blue. Oh honey, just the mention of your name. Turns the flicker to a flame. ♫
She must have heard that song a hundred times, at least. In the car. On the radio. Singing in the shower. But right here, right now, it was much more than a mere song in the background. It was her failed marriage and feelings set to a slow groove.
♫Listen to me good baby. I think of the things we used to do. And my whole world turns misty blue. Baby, baby, baby, baby when I said that I’m glad we are through deep in my heart I know I lied. ♫
Tommy looked sad sitting across from Nicky and it wasn’t hard to tell that his relationship with the streets of Brooklyn was more complicated than just being a Trouble Consultant. Nicky felt guilty because she was getting that familiar warm feeling that began in her head and rolled down to her toes as she remembered past lovemaking. And more importantly, love. Her eyes traveled to his full lips as he talked and all she could think about was champagne on ice, candlelight’s flickering, rose petals scattered at her feet, divine music and her giving him a full-body massage. She couldn’t help it, Tommy was a shining example of Black masculinity. And it had been so long since she made love.
“Tommy what happened to us? I thought we were supposed to be together, forever.” Nicky quickly asked before the logical side of her brain could stop her.
♫I know I lied, I know I lied, I can’t forget you-heaven knows I tried. ♫
Tommy shrugged. “We were…I guess we lived too long.” he winked and reached for her pack of cigarettes and removed one. He could see she was expecting a serious answer and lit his cigarette before giving it to her. “C’mon Nic you know what happened. Things I felt were important, you didn’t. And things you felt were important, I didn’t.”
Oh so you’re saying our marriage wasn’t important?” Nicky asked.
“Don’t go twisting around what I said.” Tommy sighed.
“I’m not twisting around anything. I simply repeated what you said.”
“Yeah but you’re taking it all out of context.”
“Am I?”
Tommy wondered why they were even having this conversation then shrugged and took a slow drag.
“I think I will have that second drink now.” Nicky said and raised her arm to signaled the waitress.
After their brief encounter in the kitchen at Tee-Tee’s party, Nicky dreamt about Tommy every night since. She wanted him to make mad passionate toe-curling love to her. She told herself she was no longer in love with him over and over again. But still she didn’t want to be with anyone else. Every time she closed her eyes she dreamt about her ex-husband touching and kissing her. It wasn’t infatuation. She missed Tommy like crazy. Vixen and soul. And she wanted him back.
“Tommy…come home with me.” Nicky said once again beating her brain to the punch.
“Say what now?” Tommy looked up at her, eyes glossy from the alcohol.
Nicky shook her head. “Let’s forget about our problems. At least temporarily.” She whispered with a smoldering glare.
“Yeah well, the problem with temporary is that it ain’t forever.”
“It could if we wanted it to be…let’s make it-permanent.” She said and placed her hands over his and squeezed. The invitation was clean, crisp and straight to the point. Just like Nicky’s no-nonsense style.
Tommy stared into his ex-wife’s eyes catching the white flash of her nervous smile against her ebony skin and it suddenly occurred to him what she was asking him.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Tommy asked not wanting to assume.
The waitress came over and Nicky ordered another white wine spritzer before answering Tommy. She couldn’t believe she was even having these feelings about him. She could have sworn he got those in the divorce settlement. “Well if you think I’m saying I want to give us another try, and if that is what you want too- then…yes.”
Tommy could see the heartfelt love she still had for him. Corbin’s clown ass never had a chance. Nicky began to look worried when she did not see the same look of passion in Tommy’s eyes.
Tommy thought carefully before he spoke. “You know six months ago hearing you say that would have made me the happiest man in the world…But things have changed, now-”
Nicky touched Tommy’s lips with a finger to silence him. “It’s Donnie, right?” she asked. Tommy nodded silently. Nicky sat back and exhaled then fronted a bogus smile when the waitress placed her drink before her. “I wasn’t wrong for making you choose between me and Havoc. You were wrong for choosing Havoc over me.” Tommy sighed heavily dropping his eyes. “So I guess you got the perfect woman now. She’s beautiful and successful and she doesn’t have a problem with you playing Russian Roulette with your life. It’s a match made in heaven.” Nicky said bitterly.
“I never said she was cool with me doing what I do.” Tommy said regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth.
Nicky’s eyebrows raised. “So then she does have a problem with you Trouble Consulting?” Tommy turned up his drink and Nicky’s mouth hung open. “Wow! It’s like that Tommy? So what’s next you’re going to retire all together? Go legit?”
Tommy tried to look Nicky in the eyes but couldn’t. They both looked down at Tommy’s fingers rapping on the table. She wasn’t lyin
g when she said that she still knew his ways. Tommy stopped rapping his digits and looked up annoyed and tired of fussing. “Why are we even going through this? I just told you how I almost let somebody die I was supposed to protect and-” he realized how loud he was and lowered his voice to a rough whisper. “And how my cousin’s got AIDS! And all you can do is carry on like a naïve girl strung out over some high school crush!”
The moment morphed from energy-charged to awkward, to hostile as Nicky’s lips parted enough to gasp when Tommy’s attitude cut her to the core. “Fuck you Tommy! For years I tolerated-no supported what you did! The danger, the inordinate hours!” she paused and regained her composure. “Look I am sorry about what happened today and especially about Bug-Out. But after what you just said, how do you expect me to react? Our marriage dissolved because I wanted you to stop running the streets, risking your life and then along comes this woman who says the exact same things I’ve been saying for years. And now you’re ready to quit!” she stood up, threw on her coat and spun around towards the door.
“Nicky wait a minute, I never said Donnie told me to quit.”
“You didn’t have to!” Nicky said and continued outside. Tommy tossed some money on the table and grabbed his coat chasing out behind her.
Havoc and Mayhem Page 33
