“You want me to comment? Okay, go to hell!”
“That wasn’t exactly the comment I was looking for.”
“What is it you want me to say Tomm-oh silly me. You’re wearing red. So I should be calling you Havoc right?” Donnie snapped.
“This isn’t easy for me either.” Havoc explained as Donnie glared at him. “Do you remember who I was?”
“Do you remember what you promised me?”
“Yes.” he said ruefully.
“After Coney Island you said you were done. Have you forgotten how lucky you were? How we all were?” she sharply reminded him.
“No. Of course I haven’t.” Havoc replied remembering how thanks to Detective Fisk keeping his word about returning a favor, the worst night of his life was neatly squared away with a secret all-knowing wink and fist bump.
“Then why the hell are we having this conversation?”
“Because it’s high time I was real with you and myself. Donnie I’m not the guy who comes home to his woman every night after a long day at the office. I’ve been in these streets for far too long, living off of my wits and primal instincts. I can’t turn that around and acclimate a new lifestyle just because we’ve fallen in love. And another thing I can’t do is drag you back into it and put your life in danger again.” Havoc said.
Donnie’s lips parted to say something when her thoughts were ambushed by the sound of a phone ringing. After a moment Havoc realized it was coming from him looked down and drew the clumsy object from the gun holster on his hip like a gunslinger would a pistol. Her eyes widened.
“Just give me a sec.” Havoc said and pressed a button then brought the phone to his ear. “Who dis? … Whoa-whoa, calm down Ma’am I can barely hear you…What?…Yes this is he…Am I back in business?” he looked over at Donnie who was hanging on to his every word, praying he would say the right thing. Havoc knew his next response would change the dynamics of his relationship and everything else, forever then sighed heavily and said, “…Yes Ma’am it’s true-I’m back.” At that instant Donnie felt her heart drop to her feet and she closed her eyes disappointedly. “So how can I be of service?…They did what?! Where can I find these sons of a bitches?…Yes, I know exactly where that is. I can meet you there in an hour…What?…No, don’t worry about payment Ma’am. If your story checks out then they will pay, with interest!”
Havoc shut off his phone sliding it back into its holster and looked over at Donnie. She stood there expressionless. “I thought you were allergic to portable phones and beepers.” she said dumbfounded as she noticed in addition to the phone, a pager clipped on to his holster as well.
“I was…still am. Originally Pop insisted I get one because of the nightclub and seeing as I retired from-” He stopped short realizing he was digging himself into a deeper hole as Donnie angrily folded her arms across her chest. “Then I realized the benefits.” He quickly deflected. Donnie shook her head adding the cellular brick phone to his growing list of betrayal. “Babe I-” he began.
“An hour ago, I was on cloud nine celebrating your club and our future together.” She cut him off speaking as if she was talking to herself. “And now, thanks to one stupid phone call I lost it all!” She said glaring at him.
“Don’t say that. You haven’t lost me,”
Donnie shook her head smiling but finding absolutely nothing amusing. “You’re right. Because I never really had you. To begin with.”
“Donnie I-”
“I want to get married.” she said and Havoc’s eyebrows raised perplexed. “I mean not tonight or even to you necessarily. Look, I know when we first got together it was a method of convenience that eventually led to more. And we never spoke about taking it this far. But that’s what I want. I want a family and I want to live in a little house with a garden with a tree for the kids to climb on. And I want to go to sleep every night with the same person by my side and wake up next to him in the morning. Every morning. For the rest of our lives.”
“But I thought you didn’t want the ‘American Dream.’”
“I didn’t…until I met you.”
“I-um,” Havoc tried to find the words and she placed her hand on his chest.
“Don’t. You made a choice. And it wasn’t…us.” she said looking down. Deep down she always knew they were living on borrowed time. That he’d never completely betray his masochistic devotion to the streets. But a girl can dream.
Havoc cupped her chin to make eye contact. “Donnie you know that’s not true. There’s not another soul on this whole planet I’d rather be with except for you. Hanging out with you has been an absolute slice of heaven.”
Donnie recoiled from his hand like his touch burned. “Wow. Is that what we’ve been doing all this time? Hanging out?” She asked. Her voice flushed with anger and pain.
“No of course not. It’s just after what happened, I threw myself into this club, and us, and I left my past in the past.”
“And look at everything you’ve accomplished for your future.” Donnie reminded him.
“Look baby I honestly tried to let it go and move on. And for a while there I had. But for the past month or so I’ve been fighting a tug of war in my head. Debating whether I should or shouldn’t go back. Then a couple of days ago fate decided for me when I happened upon Barbara Jean Holliday and her daughter Mercedes.” Donnie looked at Havoc as if he expected her to know who they were. “My first consulting job last year. Barbara hired me after Mercedes got caught up in the street life and was being forced into prostitution. The cops wouldn’t do anything. But I did. And now she’s back home with her family. Safe. Registered in college and has a future. But I keep asking myself, what if I hadn’t taken the job? What if I don’t take the next job? What’ll happen to the next Mercedes?”
“But why does it have to be you who takes on the burden? The responsibility?” Donnie argued.
Havoc let her question hang in the air for a moment while pondering it over. ‘Why him?’ he asked himself, as he recalled that night in The Lennox Lounge when she jokingly referred to him as hero of the hood. Back then he shrugged it off as utter nonsense and insisted she was wrong. He was no hero. But was she right? Was he wrong? His father’s wise words replayed in in his head, ‘it’s never too late to be what you might have been.’ Detective Fisk telling him, ‘You’re needed right where you are, Trouble Consulting! Doing what we can’t that needs to be done!’ He inhaled deeply and released a long-winded breath as the answer to her million-dollar question came to him then turned to the woman he loved hoping she’d understand. “Because if I don’t, who will?”
Champaign’s ‘How ‘Bout Us’ began to pour out of the nightclub and Havoc looked at Donnie stunned by the ironic twist of fate. She shook her head sadly, “I asked the DJ to play it at midnight. I thought it’d be romantic. The two of us dancing, celebrating a future…together.” she explained feeling silly due to the recent change of events.
The Trouble Consultant moved closer and opened his arms invitingly. “My lady, would you do me the honor of accompanying me on the dance floor?” he asked. Donnie sighed allowing herself to be engulfed in his embrace.
Havoc could see the disappointment and hurt in Donnie’s face and wrapped his arms around her then began moving slowly to the music. At first, she resisted but gave in and nuzzled her head inside of his chest and the two began to move in sync. As she danced she stopped a tear that tried to escape.
‘Ooh short and sweet. No sense in draggin on past our needs. Let’s don’t keep it hangin on. If the fire’s out we should both be gone,’
She heard that ballad so many times before it officially became their love theme, that she lost count. And each and every time it always described the beginning of the perfect relationship, with the perfect man. But, at that moment slow dancing and really listening to the words for the first time, it described the end of the perfect relationship. With the perfect man.
‘Some people are made for
each other. Some people are made for another for life, how bout us? Some people can hold it together. Last through all kinds of weather tell me, can we?’
When the music was over she looked up at him forcing a smile holding back tears. Havoc pulled her close and gave her a tight squeeze and passionate kiss that felt final. He removed a set of car keys and aimed the remote at the far end of the dark alley and pressed a button. Suddenly a pair of bright headlights belonging to a shiny candy red Ferrari F40 too flyy for words with a license plate the read CODE RED2 blinked on illuminating the alley followed by the deep growl of its engine.
Havoc moved towards the vehicle then stopped and snapped his fingers, “You said you had another other surprise?” he asked.
“Huh? Oh yeah, I was offered a promotion, if I want it.” Donnie said somberly staring at his car.
“Congratulations. But why are you saying a good thing like it’s a bad thing? Don’t you want it?” he asked.
“I’m not sure because it’s in the California office. And I’d have to relocate there.”
“Wow, that’s a big decision. What are you going to do?”
“You’re right it is a big decision, that I was hoping to make with you. But apparently you don’t want to include me in on your big decisions. So, this may be a decision I have to make on my own.”
“Babe I can’t tell you what to do. But I’ll support whatever you do.”
Donnie sighed. It wasn’t what she wanted to hear. But it was what she needed to hear. “Take care of yourself, Tommy.” She said refusing to acknowledge the Trouble Consultant.
“You do the same,” Havoc nodded. “Does this mean we’re good?”
“Yes…we’re good.” she lied through a phony smile.
And with a nod, Havoc continued towards his whip. He got in behind the wheel then heard the sound of whimpering. He looked down on the ground, sighed then placed the whimpering puppy in the seat beside him. Glancing over at the puppy happily wagging its tail, The Trouble Consultant thought to himself he had some big paws to fill.
“So, I’ve given it some thought. What do you think about the name Major?” Havoc asked the feisty pup who replied with a zesty yelp. A slight smile formed in the corner of his mouth as he scratched behind newly dubbed Major’s ear, “Then it’s settled.” He said eyeing the thin gold dog whistle hanging on the rear-view mirror. Havoc glanced up at Donnie who hadn’t taken her eyes off of him and thought how rare it was to find mind, body and soul wrapped up in the same beautiful package. Yet he did it twice. And he threw it away, twice. He pushed the guilt out of his head. He had a job to do. “Aight listen up partner. This is a simple job. Piece of cake. I don’t anticipate on needing any back up. So keep your overzealous ass in the car. If I need you, I’ll call you. Are we clear?” Havoc asked his new partner in training. Major barked excitedly bouncing around in his seat like he understood. Just like his old partner used to do, right before a job. Feeling déjà vu, he smiled and inserted a CD in the dashboard player then nodded his head to the hypnotic hip-hop beat pounding from the BOSE speakers as LL Cool J’s hit, ‘I’m Bad’ fittingly played. “Well, time to make the doughnuts,” he said and Major-Havoc burst out of the alley like a rocket on wheels.
Donnie watched the car disappear into the night then raised her glass, “A toast, to the dumbest man alive. And the woman who’s even dumber.” She said emptying it with one swallow.
“You’re not dumb.” A voice behind Donnie said. She looked back to find Nicky standing at the top of the steps dressed for a night of celebrating.
“If you’re going to say, ‘I told you so’, then save your breath.” Donnie hissed too angry and upset to be embarrassed.
Nicky came down the stairs smiling empathetically, “I would never play you like that Sista’ girl. Not after the shit we’ve been through. Besides, I understand what you’re feeling. Because he did the same exact thing to me.”
Donnie did a confused double take, “But I thought that you asked him for a divorce.”
Nicky shook her head. “He probably told you that because he wanted to make me look like the stronger person. But no, it was the other way around. I was never okay with what my husband, correction, ex-husband did but I was willing to accept it because I loved him. And, as much I hate to admit it even though we’ve both moved on respectively, I guess a small part of me always will. Because truth be told, we both know that Thomas Oliver Strong is not an easy man to get over.”
“Amen,” Donnie agreed and wiped her tears.
“I never asked him for a divorce. He asked me…on our anniversary. We were out celebrating when one of his enemies attacked him. I swear if I didn’t stop him he would have killed that man.” As Donnie listened she now realized what Tommy was referring to when he told her how he once almost killed someone and lost everything in the process. Nicky continued, “Later on, that night after I patched him up, he turned to me and said it would kill him if anything were to ever happen to me. I thought for sure the next thing he was going to say was that he was walking away from being a Trouble Consultant. Get his old construction job back. And things would go back to the way they were. But instead he said the opposite. I was devastated and refused to speak to him even when he moved out but continued paying off the mortgage on our house. On the day I graduated from college he signed it over to me as a gift. Some gift. All I ever wanted was my husband. All he ever wanted was a way to provide. Even if that way, kept him from me.” She said in a sad voice revealing that she still hadn’t completely healed. “But I will say this though, he’s changing.”
“How so?”
“You heard him yourself, ‘Don’t worry about payment?’ The old Havoc would have never taken on a Consulting job without discussing payment first. He’s different. He has a new agenda.” Nicky said. Donnie nodded in agreement but her sad expression said she didn’t care about the new and improved Havoc coming full circle and finally accepting who he was. All she knew was her man was gone. Nicky tossed an arm around her shoulder. “The sooner you realize that Tommy has these fierce principles and will stand up to them without apology, regardless of consequences, the better off you’ll be.” Nicky said but Donnie didn’t look like she was ready to realize anything. “Hey gurl, what do you say we head back inside and party like it’s 1999. But tomorrow you and I throw on our baddest outfits and hit this place I know where we can meet some actual committed men.”
“Oh really and where’s this?” Donnie asked with a sniffle.
“The mental hospital.” Nicky said with a wink. The two burst into laughter and although Donnie’s heart was nowhere near mended, Nicky’s cheesy joke did scotch tape it together temporarily. “C’mon let’s get you another drink.”
“Okay, but just so you know, I don’t drink alcohol.” Donnie said.
“Since when? The last five minutes? Unless my eyes are deceiving me weren’t you and that champagne glass just lip locking?”
“Ginger ale. And I’m gonna have to take a raincheck on the double date. I’m gonna be out of town for a while.” Donnie said.
Nicky tossed a comforting arm around Donnie’s shoulder, “Well then before you go, I’ll treat you to a double-shot of Ginger Ale.”
Donnie nodded then followed her, pausing at the top of the stairs to rub her belly. She had it all planned out perfectly. With their song asking ‘How bout us?’ in the background she was going to reveal her life changing second secret. But after Havoc revealed his, she decided to keep hers to herself and instead tell him about the job promotion she originally planned on turning down. Besides, had she told him he was about to be a father, all he would have done was stay with her out of guilt and obligation. And she didn’t want that. How she saw it, he was free and if or when he came back, it was meant to be. She needed to get away to think and California was the perfect escape.
And with that the two women went back inside as the man they both had a soft spot in their hearts for cruised the streets of Brooklyn, AKA t
he borough that’s thorough, to settle beef, but no longer for a fee.
Dedication
For the past 14 years I worked at a job that provided me with a decent salary and benefits to support my family. The problem was I was miserable because it wasn’t what I wanted to do or who I wanted to be. One day after a particularly stressful day at work I came home and collapsed on the couch. While channel surfing I stopped at Tracy Morgan a popular successful comedian from my hometown of Brooklyn who was on a talk show promoting his latest project. I listened as he spoke about how overcoming rough patches in life, believing in his God given talent and never giving up led him to where he is today. Then he looked directly into the camera and said, “Without no struggle there is no progress. But hey, I’m just a regular kid from Brooklyn who had a dream and if I can make mines come true, then so can YOU.”
I swear it felt like Tracy was speaking directly to me because the next thing I knew I was up on my feet and turning on my computer. I located and dusted off the file containing the manuscript I’d given up on trying to get published over twenty years ago. I opened it up and was reintroduced to characters I hadn’t thought about in decades. To my surprise my book still captivated me. Still made me laugh. Still told a story I knew that people would love to read. And still made me want to become a published author. That’s when I made two phone calls. The first was to my wife. The second to my best friend. I explained to them how the thought of working another eleven years until I could retire at a job I didn’t want to work another eleven minutes depressed me. How this comedian’s story inspired me. And most importantly, how I was ready to get back on the saddle and publish my novel. Both of them said the same thing, “Well It’s about time. Let’s get to work!”
So, here’s to the incredible people in my life who without their love, devotion and hard work I could not have done this.
First to my beautiful supportive, perfect wife of 10 years; web page builder, t-shirt designer, copy editor slash book-keeper and fact-finder, Charon. From our very first date when I told you how I’d written two books and dreamed of becoming a successful novelist but it never came to fruition, you constantly encouraged me to never stop trying. Time went by, we got married and started a beautiful family. Throughout the years not a week had gone by that you didn’t remind me of how talented of a writer I am and to get back into it. But how I saw it, if it hadn’t happened already, it was never going to. So I gave up on my dream. But you didn’t give up on it, or me and told me, “it’s never too late to become what you might have been”. Then you unselfishly insisted I use the money we had saved up for our ten-year wedding anniversary trip to Vegas to instead self-publish my book. Thank you Baby-ths.
Havoc and Mayhem Page 49
