The Scent of Rain

by Jones, Julianne

  Visiting hours were almost over when they arrived at the hospital but Madi didn’t think that would matter. She parked the car and displayed the parking ticket and they headed over towards the main entrance.

  Despite her experience as a physiotherapist before Jaena’s birth, Madi didn’t know what to expect when they entered the hospital. She saw Jaena wrinkle up her nose and remembered that her daughter had never liked hospital smells. That she had been the one to suggest coming here was proof of how much she cared for the man she called Uncle Marcus.

  They were directed to a small waiting area where Marcus’s parents and sister waited. Immediately Diana came over to hug them both.

  “How’s he doing?” Madi asked when Diana had released her and Jaena had gone over to embrace Marcus’s parents who had in recent years become surrogate grandparents to Madi’s daughter.

  Diana shook her head. “We haven’t heard anything since he went into surgery. Not a thing.”

  “How bad was it?”

  Diana shrugged. “We don’t know. All they’ve told us is that it entered his left leg and is probably lodged against the bone because there’s no exit wound. He could be in theatre for a while.” She dropped her voice. “Two other officers were also shot. One died at the scene.”

  Madi covered her face with her hands and took an unsteady breath. She felt Diana place a hand on her shoulder. “You hanging in there?”

  Madi dropped her hands and looked at Marcus’s sister. She nodded. “I’m okay. You?”

  “Same as you, I guess.”

  Diana gave her a penetrating look. Madi turned her eyes away. “How is it that you’re here already?” she asked.

  Diana gave a mirthless laugh and reached for her handbag. She pulled out a small packet of tissues and selected one. “Sidney. Her team came down here for a debating tournament. I took the day off work and came down to surprise her – I don’t get to hear her debate very often and I thought since it was the national tournament it was a good opportunity to see her in action. Plus, it gave me a chance to catch up with Mum and Dad.”

  “Sidney’s here?” Madi looked around, but couldn’t see Diana’s daughter who was two-and-a-half-years older than Jaena.

  “No. She wanted to go back on the bus with her friends. She’ll be almost home by now.” Diana put the tissue packet back in her handbag. “I was about to leave when Mum and Dad got the call.” She wiped her eyes. “Wes and the kids will drive down once Sidney’s bus gets in. She doesn’t know yet.”

  “She’ll be devastated.” Sidney adored her uncle – as did her two brothers Keagan and Logan.

  Diana nodded and dabbed at another tear.

  “Madi.” Madi turned and held her hand out to Marcus’s father. He ignored it and pulled her into his arms. She saw Marcus’s parents infrequently – family occasions, whenever they visited Marcus and he happened to bring them around, the few times they had made a point of seeing Jaena whom they seemed to adore as much as the grandchildren Diana and her husband had given them – and she was shocked at how frail he seemed. Lois had always been frail, but Gordon had been the strong one. Until now. Silently she prayed for good news.

  Lois also embraced her and then they tried to make themselves comfortable on the hard wooden seats. An hour passed. Two hours. All attempts at conversation ceased. Madi flicked through the magazines – some of them years out of date – but couldn’t concentrate on the words. Jaena walked around the room and read all the posters on the walls before lying down and closing her eyes. Diana and her father took it in turns to pace the floor. Only Lois seemed composed until one noticed the constant wringing of her hands and the way every now and again she would nervously clear her throat.

  Outside the room, steps would go up and down the corridor. When they seemed to pause near the door to their room, they would all eye each other anxiously. Was it news about Marcus? Did he still live? And then the footsteps would go on and the occupants of the room would studiously avoid each other’s eyes. No one wanted to voice their deepest fear or to admit that they felt that any news no matter how bad would be better than this eternal waiting and not knowing.

  Wes arrived with Sidney and the couple’s two boys, and after some discussion decided to go back to Diana’s parents’ place to wait for news. Diana went with them since Sidney was so obviously distressed. Before they left, they went and bought coffee and stale muffins for the three adults that remained behind. Madi hated coffee, but she drank it to stay awake. Jaena was already asleep in the only comfortable chair in the room, which made it easier for Madi to decide to wait with Gordon and Lois. Diana was appreciative, but not surprised, which made Madi wonder. But she was too tired to wonder for long and putting her head back against the wall she closed her eyes and tried to pray. But she found she was too tired for that, too, and found herself falling asleep, only to wake and start praying again and thus repeating the cycle of praying-sleeping-praying-sleeping.

  “Mr and Mrs Hamilton?”

  The voice jerked Madi from her sleep and she opened her eyes to see Marcus’s parents rise to their feet as the doctor entered the room.

  “Yes.”

  The doctor glanced curiously at Madi who had no idea how appealing she looked with her hair coming loose from its braid and her eyes dreamy-looking from having just woken from sleep.

  Marcus’s father hastened to make introductions. “This is Madi Hamilton and her daughter Jaena.” It was true: Madi had never reverted to her maiden name thinking it easier to share the same surname that graced Jaena’s birth certificate. Only afterwards did Madi realise that the doctor had probably received the impression that she was Gordon and Lois’ daughter-in-law and therefore married to their son. It bothered her a little – because it wasn’t honest – yet at the same time she was grateful and relieved, especially considering the way he had looked at her when he first entered the room. She certainly didn’t need any unwanted male attention.

  Whatever impression the doctor had received, it was Gordon and Lois who received his full attention. “Marcus is out of surgery and in recovery. We were able to save his leg and we are optimistic of a full recovery”

  “May we see him?”

  The doctor glanced at the clock on the wall. As did Gordon, Lois and Madi. Almost midnight. Looking back at their anxious faces he gave a tired smile.

  “He’s not regained consciousness and it could be a few hours yet before he’s moved to the ward. It would be better if you all went home and got some rest and then came back in the morning.”

  “We’ll wait.” It was Marcus’s parents, and the doctor simply nodded and then left the room. Madi picked up her bag and moved to wake Jaena.

  “You’re going?”

  “I think I should.”

  “Well…” Gordon came to her side and helped her to rouse Jaena. “I’ll walk with you out to your car.”

  “There’s no need.”

  “It’s late. And dark. I’m not having you walk around outside by yourself. Marcus would never forgive me if I let something happen to you.”

  Madi nodded, secretly glad to have his protection. “Thank you.”

  “No, thank you. We appreciate you coming. It means a lot.”

  Madi nodded at Lois and slung her handbag over her shoulder as Gordon helped a sleepy Jaena stand on her feet.

  “I’ll ring when we know more,” Lois called as they stepped out of the room.

  “Thank you.”

  Jaena complained about leaving without seeing Uncle Marcus, but she was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow at home. True to her word, Lois rang as they were having breakfast to tell them that Marcus was awake. Not very coherent apparently, but he had recognised his parents.

  Jaena wanted to go up immediately.

  “What about school?”

  “Mum! I’m not going to be able to concentrate today.”

  Madi conceded that it was true. “Okay, then. Get dressed and we’ll drive over to the hospital. But,” she said as her daughter
seemed excited, “Marcus may not be up to visitors – or if he is we may only be allowed in for a few minutes – that’s if they let us in because they may only let family in.”

  “But we are family.”

  Madi sighed and decided not to argue. Truth was, she agreed with Jaena. They were family.

  *********

  They were directed to the Intensive Care Ward and when Madi gave their names to the nurse at the desk there was no hesitation in allowing them to see Marcus. She was relieved for, despite Jaena’s belief that they were family, she knew that the hospital personnel might see it differently. Obviously Gordon or some other family member had already cleared it with the ward nurse.

  Marcus looked grey against the hospital sheets, and Madi had to remind herself that he’d lost a lot of blood. Her medical background had prepared her for this, but she had failed to prepare Jaena properly. She heard a sharp intake of breath and then Jaena threw herself on Marcus and sobbed as if her heart would break.

  “Careful, Jaena. He’s attached to tubes and monitors. You don’t want to pull anything out.”

  Jaena pulled back then and looked at Marcus. “He looks awful.”

  “He’s lost a lot of blood and has had major surgery. It will take a little while for him to regain his health.”

  “I love him so much.” Tears streamed down Jaena’s cheeks as she turned to stare at her mother as if defying her to disagree.

  “He knows that Jaeney-honey.”

  “How can he? I’ve never told him.”

  “He knows. I’m sure of it.”

  Jaena turned and looked at Marcus again. “How can you be sure? I’ve never told him how I felt – never told him that he’s the father I never had.”

  Madi took a deep breath, staggered to find that rather than it hurting because Jaena loved Marcus as a father instead of her real father, that it had the opposite effect. She was surprised that it had never occurred to her before, which was ridiculous considering the relationship the two shared. How had she failed to see it?

  She tried to reassure her daughter. “He knows because of the things that you do together – because of the relationship you have.”

  Jaena looked at her mother. “Are you mad with me?”

  “Mad? No. Why would I be mad?”

  Jaena was about to reply when Marcus stirred. “Uncle Marcus? Are you awake? Can you hear me? Uncle Marcus, I love you. I want you to wake up so I can tell you. Uncle Marcus?”

  A nurse materialised beside them. “Keep talking, sweetie. He can’t respond, but he might be able to hear. Patients do hear sound apparently. Next time you could bring some music – some of his favourites.” She adjusted one of the tubes and pulled the sheet up under Marcus’s chin. “Don’t stop talking on my account.”

  In the nurse’s presence, however, Jaena went shy and didn’t regain her powers of speech until she was back in the car with her mother.

  “So you’re really not mad?”

  “About what?” Madi pulled out of the parking lot and into lunchtime traffic.

  “That I love Uncle Marcus and not my own father.”

  “Oh, honey.” Madi moved into the lane for traffic turning right. “I guess I wouldn’t expect anything else. You never knew your real father, but you do know Marcus and he has been everything a father should be. I’m not surprised you love him. He’s a good man and I don’t know what we would’ve done all these years without him.”

  Jaena was quiet as Madi negotiated the right hand turn. “Why isn’t he married?”

  Madi was surprised at the question. “I don’t know but that’s his business and I don’t want you asking him about it. Ever. Understand?”

  “But he’s rather good looking, don’t you think? There must have been someone at some time. Perhaps he was in love once and she married someone else – or perhaps she died. Perhaps he has a tragic love story. Or –”

  “Jaena,” Madi spoke warningly.

  Jaena sighed. “Yes, Mum.”

  *********

  Prior to his accident, Madi had not visited the house that Marcus had bought with the intent of doing up, and when she finally did she was at first so concerned about Marcus that she failed to take in the surroundings. Now that he was on the road to recovery she was able to think of other things. It was an older home and appeared to be in good condition, but the décor was definitely one that her grandparents would’ve appreciated and did not fit with modern-day living.

  “I’ve brought a casserole. Do you want it in the ‘fridge?”

  Marcus was seated in an armchair with his leg propped in front of him on a small stool. He looked embarrassed at her question.

  “Actually, there are already meals in the ‘fridge. Could it go in the freezer?”

  Madi opened the refrigerator door and realised that he spoke the truth. There were several meals already on its shelves and she felt surprise that he was so obviously well cared for. Following close on the heels of surprise she experienced another emotion, one that she was reluctant to name. From his manner, she suspected the meals hadn’t been provided by family alone and that bothered her. Then she gave herself a mental shake. It was only right that others should care for Marcus when he was always caring for others. Yet she couldn’t prevent those tiny flames of jealousy.

  “Just point me in the way of the freezer then,” she tried to sound cheerful, but it was an effort.

  “Through the door there, down the step and to the right. And please ignore the wallpaper. It will be the first thing to go when I’m back on my feet.”

  The wallpaper was large and bright and she could see why he would want to be rid of it.

  She came back to the living room. “Was there ever truly a time when orange and yellow flowers as large as dinner plates were in fashion as wallpaper?”

  “Apparently so if this house is anything to go by. But it’s got good bones. You didn’t happen to look at the carpet, too, did you?”

  “You mean the purple and green monstrosity on the floor in the bathroom?”

  Marcus smiled. “No hiding it, is there?”

  “No, but it’s better than the green wallpaper and blue carpet in your room.” She’d seen it one night when she and Jaena had helped Marcus to bed.

  Suddenly Madi felt self-conscious. Marcus must have felt the same because he looked nervous and fidgeted with the blanket covering his legs.

  “Is there anything I can get you or do before I go?”

  He hesitated. “Actually there is something. I want to talk to you if you have time.”

  Madi nodded and moved one of the dining chairs closer and sat down. She found she couldn’t meet his eyes and for a few moments neither spoke.

  Marcus cleared his throat. “I want you to know that I’ve changed my will and that I’ve named Jaena as a beneficiary.”

  Madi looked up in shock. “You can’t do that. There’s no need to do that. Jaena doesn’t expect anything.”

  He gave a bleak smile. “I know that. That’s not the point. This is something I’ve thought of doing for a while. And now I’ve done it.”

  “But what about your family?”

  “My family?” Marcus seemed genuinely surprised. “I’ve included my parents and sister and her children, of course, but I wanted Jaena added as well.”

  “I mean: the family you’ll have one day. Wife and children.”

  Marcus shook his head sadly. “I’ll never get married and have a family. It’s too late for that now.”

  “That’s silly. Of course you’ll get married some day. You’re only young and you’re good –” she was about to say good looking, but stopped in time. “You’re a good man and you’d make a great father.”

  “Jaena is the daughter I’ll never have.”

  Madi felt inexplicably sad. “But don’t you want a family of your own?”

  Marcus looked down at his hands. “I missed my chance,” he eventually replied.

  “What happened? No, I’m sorry. I’m being nosy. I shouldn’t hav
e asked.” Here she was doing the very thing she had warned Jaena not to do!

  “It’s okay.” Marcus continued to look at his hands. “Let’s just say that she married someone else and leave it at that.”

  “Well, it was her loss then,” Madi said. It would be years before she knew how deeply her words had wounded him, but for now she was unaware of their effect. She was surprised that one of Jaena’s dramatic scenarios for Marcus’s unmarried state was in fact true.

  Marcus avoided her eye. “I can’t say. But I just want you to know that if anything happens to me that Jaena will be provided for.”

  Tears filled Madi’s eyes. “I appreciate that. I appreciate everything you do for her – for us. But hopefully nothing’s going to happen to you for a long time.”

  “I hope so, too, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”

  Madi glanced at her watch. “Is that the time? I need to be going so that I’m home when Jaena gets home from school. She’s not going to be happy when she learns I’ve been over here and she hasn’t.”

  “She’s a great kid.” Marcus spoke softly and Madi almost missed his next words. “You’re so blessed.”

  “I know.” But when Madi let herself out of Marcus’s house it wasn’t Jaena she was thinking of, but the woman he had admitted to once loving. Who was she and what had she been like? And why had she turned down someone like Marcus of all people?

  *********

  “Mum, Clayton has asked me to go to the movies with him tomorrow tonight. Can I?”

  Madi turned from the kitchen bench where she was preparing dinner and stared at her daughter in surprise. “We’ve talked about this before. No dating until you’re old enough for marriage.”

  “But it wouldn’t be a date. It’s just Clayton. We’re only friends.”

  “Who else is going?”

  “Well – no one.”