by K. S. Martin
“I didn’t reject you Lettie. I know what I said but I never meant it. You have to know that. You have to feel it. I never kicked you out of the pack either. I wouldn’t.” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and she shrugged him off. Damn, she was pissed.
“All I feel for you is hate, Jordan. I was your mate, I was supposed to be more important than anything else to you, but I wasn’t. Pack politics are more important. Congratulations. You’re in the thick of it now.” Lettie tried to wiggle out from under him.
“I did those things for us.” He shifted his weight and trapped her beneath him so that she couldn’t move. He was not letting her get away.
“You did those things for you. I never wanted those things. I wanted you then you rejected me. You spit in my face and you said the words. You did everything that you could to make me feel your rejection. She struggled again ineffectively.
“I know. I…damn it. I didn’t mean any of it. I know that I made you angry but I just didn’t know how to…” He closed his eyes and took a calming breath.
“Do you remember the last week that we lived together? You marched across my floor with muddy boots not once, not twice but six times Jordan and then you ruined one of the two things that my Grams left me. You knew how much she meant to me, you knew she was the only one that ever made me feel like someone loved me and you stomped your nasty muddy boots over my rug. You knew how much I loved that rug and you ruined it. Look at it!” She pointed down. Her voice was cruel and nasty as he glanced down at the beige rug with the big pink and yellow roses on it. Pink and yellow roses stained with red clay. He grimaced. He’d done that. He ruined something that she loved. He’d been cruel and inconsiderate that night, many nights. “You shit on everything I had worth having Jordan. You didn’t care about my feelings then and you don’t care now. You’re the alpha and you’ve found yourself in a mess that you can’t figure out. You want me to get you out of it just like when we were young and you couldn’t do your homework. No. I reject you Jordan Giroux. I didn’t say the words before but I will now. I reject you and your pack. Get out of my place Jordan and don’t you ever come back here.”
“You can’t live on your own without a pack. Who will protect you? Who will take care of you?” His eyes flashed dangerously at her. His chest heaved and he was near to losing control of his wolf.
“It’s funny Jordan but living on my own doesn’t feel much different than living with you.” She hissed calmly but her pulse pounded at the base of her throat. “Except that there’s less cooking and less mopping.” She’d had enough of this and of him.
“If there’s no one to protect you Lettie, things can happen to you. Men can do things to you.” He ground his hips viciously into hers and she sneered at him. “If there’s no one to take care of you, a man could do anything that he wanted to you.” Her face calmed and she whispered.
“Go ahead Jordan. You’ve taken everything else, take my dignity too, and then you’ll have it all. You make me understand suicide.” Lettie showed him her throat. If he wanted, he could rip it out and end it all. Jordan swallowed and pushed off of her. He stood and turned on one heel but stopped when he got to the door. He didn’t turn around but his voice was eerily calm when he spoke.
“I’m sorry for what it’s worth Colette. I do love you and I always will. I’ll let you have your life but if you ever come to your senses and change your mind, you know where to find me.” He stepped through the doorway and closed the door quietly. Lettie shuddered. She’d never seen him like that, utterly defeated. Lettie thought she would feel triumphant but she didn’t. It made her feel empty but it was finally over. His mark was fading. She could feel it leaving her skin. Hurrying to the mirror and pulling her shirt aside she watched it disappear. She was free.
Chapter Four
Lettie opened her door and shifted into her wolf. It was nearly one and someone was in the grocery store below. The store closed hours ago. Whoever it was would get a shock. Most robbers wouldn’t count on running into a wolf when breaking into a grocery store. She’d already called Mister Thompson and he was calling the police. She loped down the stairs and up the diaper aisle. The coffee aisle would’ve been closer, but she couldn’t scent in that aisle, only coffee would fill her nose. Lettie crept around a corner and met three enormous wolves. She was the one who was shocked instead. The biggest turned and snarled then yipped alerting his pack. Lettie turned and scrambled for the back. She didn’t know them. They weren’t from her pack. She whizzed past a blur of merchandise. There were rumors of a trio of rogue wolves in the area but she’d paid the rumors no mind. She was safe in her bungalow among her pack. It wouldn’t surprise her if Jordan sent them just to prove a point. Lettie skidded around the end cap and came face to face with two more. The other three were still running down the coffee aisle trying to head her off. Lettie was quick but not as quick as she should have been. The floor was extra slick tonight because Mister Thompson had it buffed earlier after closing. Damn it! Lettie tried to turn but the trio blocked the way. Five of them altogether, the rumors weren’t true. It was often the case. Another paced up behind the two. Six of them, what was this a rogue pack? Crap! Where were the police? Where was Mister Thompson? Maybe if he turned the lights on it would scare them away. Lettie whimpered. The wolves shifted into men and she tried to bolt but they had her pinned. “Shift!” The biggest commanded. He was dirty, she could smell his unclean body, and it assaulted her wolf’s nose. He was their alpha and she had to submit.
“I told you there was a she wolf in here. Party time boys! Lettie shifted and they were on her. They were far too strong to fight off and they were going to do whatever they wanted to her. Surely even Jordan wasn’t this cruel. The most that she could hope for now was for Mister Thompson to come with the police. She hoped that they hurried. Why didn’t she stay in her apartment and hide? Just because she was a wolf in human territory didn’t mean that she was powerful and they were proving it. The world lost focus. Shapes blended, pain spread through her and she could hear someone screaming. She thought it might be her.
***
Lettie’s nose twitched. Jordan. She struggled to open her eyes but couldn’t. Her body hurt. She groaned. They’d beaten her. They’d bitten her, repeatedly. Had they raped her? They’d taken turns at her? Lettie shivered. The images were fuzzy and the details were unclear. These things happened she was sure but the details…the devil was in the details. Her head hurt. She had a fever, strange for a wolf. Wolves didn’t get sick but she was sick. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” His words were soft and he mopped her brow with a cool wash cloth. What was she doing in Jordan’s bed? How did she get here? She had to get out of here before he did more of the same to her as the rogues. Lettie struggled to get up. Her mind blurred and she still couldn’t open her eyes. Why couldn’t she open her eyes? The world spun. “You’re not well Lettie. You’re bruised and swollen. You have a fever and you need to lay still. The doc has been checking on you but he’s got you on some strong meds. You can’t be alone so just stay still. Get some rest.” She drifted off.
“How is she doc?” She heard Jordan. He sounded concerned, not at all like his usual self. How long had she slept?
“I’m concerned Jordan. I’ve never seen a wolf this sick. What they did to her is beyond disturbing but I’ve never seen this strain of bacteria in a wolf. If this fever doesn’t break soon…” Doctor Lee sounded more concerned than Jordan, not at all like his usual self either. Usually he was a happy go lucky kind of guy but then really why wouldn’t he be? He delivered babies and played golf. Once in awhile someone got a little sick with a virus and he had to actually be a doctor. Today sounded like one of those days. No golf today doc.
“I know doc. I wish that I knew what to do for her.” Jeez, she really was sick, they both sounded like she was limping to the grave. Lettie tried to talk but it only came out as a moan. Jordan squeezed her hand. What the hell was wrong with her? “So many fucking bites, what were they trying to
accomplish?”
“They were trying to kill her Jordan. It’s simple. Don’t worry yourself sick about it too. There are enough wolves around here stressed out over what happened to Lettie. Just be glad they’re gone.” Jordan grunted. “I’m going to check on Lynnie, she should be close to delivery by now. I’ll come back by later to give her another shot just leave the front door unlocked so I don’t wake you if it’s late. Meanwhile, she needs to break the fever. I saw that your mark is gone.” Jordan grunted again. “I knew you guys were having problems but I didn’t know it had gone that far. It would be best if you got in the bed with her and kept her warm. I know you are no longer mated but if she’s going to survive…”
“I’ll take care of it doc.” Lettie drifted off again.
Lettie nuzzled the warm chest that her face pressed against. Jordan. Was it all a dream? He was so warm. His arms were around her, comforting her. It felt so nice. She nuzzled him again and sighed. His big hand stroked her spine gently. She loved it when he did that. Lettie scooted closer and kissed his chest. Warm, bare, smooth, and perfectly spiced skin rubbed against hers. He was so sexy. Her tongue sneaked out and tasted him. “Mmm.” She moaned.
“Easy girl.” Jordan pushed her away a little and she came awake. “Don’t do that again. Next time I won’t stop you.” It was a dream, sort of. Lettie brought her hand up her body. One of them had bitten her breasts. “You’re okay. You’re whole again. You’ve healed.” Lettie tried to open her still swollen eyes and she could see now. The light hurt and she decided to keep them closed. “You’re going to be okay but the doc wants you to stay in bed and rest.”
“I can do that at home.” She murmured and tried to get up but he held her down easily. “Let me go.” She mumbled.
“Colette you are in no shape to go anywhere. The doc has you on his strongest brew so you won’t be able to walk a straight line let alone hold a shift. Don’t try to move again or I will be forced to restrain you.”
“You would.” She mumbled and drifted off again, she heard him chuckle.
“How are we doc?” Lettie heard Jordan ask, his voice rumbled in his chest against her cheek.
“Well, Lynnie had a ten pound boy and she named him Isaiah.” Something stuck Lettie in the hip and she groaned. “This one is getting better. Her color is good. Her heart beat is good, lungs are clear and most of the bruises are gone. I just wish this fever would break. Its low grade now but I want it to break. How do you feel about getting really hot?”
“What are you talking about doc?” Jordan’s voice rumbled again and she nuzzled his chest. She felt him look down at her.
“I want to try something. I want to put you two under a few quilts and bump the heat up in here.”
“I’m dying now doc.” Lettie scooted closer.
“I know it’s a lot to ask. She isn’t even your mate anymore. Maybe I should move her to the infirmary. Then you would have your privacy back. You’ve done more than anyone would expect from a wolf that has been rejected.”
“I rejected her doc.” Jordan said.
“Yeah.” The doc shook his head. “No Jordan. The mark faded when she rejected you, she still had her mark two months ago when she had the piece of metal stuck in her foot. So, in the past two months Lettie has rejected you. If you’d really rejected her it would’ve been gone but it wasn’t.”
“Okay doc, don’t let me keep any pride at all.” Jordan chuckled.
“There is no pride between mates Jordan. You should know that. Now do you want me to take her to the infirmary or do you want me to gather the quilts?”
“Get the quilts doc. I want to see it through. I’m going to go get something to eat. Will she be okay on her own for awhile?”
“I think so but don’t be long.” Jordan grunted and moved away from her. Lettie tried to speak but it came out as a whimper. Jordan scoffed and she heard him leave the room. Lettie opened her eyes and looked around. It was a nice room. It was big with antique looking furniture. The iron bed that she was in was high and comfortable. Expensive sheets covered it and they smelled like Jordan. She would never admit it but Jordan was her favorite scent in the world. Lettie tried to sit up and got woozy. She steadied herself and swung her legs over the side. Where was the bathroom? Her bladder was screaming. Lettie slid off the side and immediately dropped to the floor in a crumpled heap. She groaned and rolled to her side.
“Shit.” She hissed.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jordan snarled at her and she whimpered.
“I have to go.” Her words were slurred and her eyes begged.
“You don’t have to go. Damn it Lettie. I told you to stay in bed.” He picked her up easily and put back into the bed.
“I have to go Jordan. Let me go.” She pushed at his chest.
“I said no. She scrambled frantically. “I will cuff you to this damn bed Lettie. Stop it.” He ordered.
“I’m going to wet myself Jordan, please?” She begged. He stared at her blinking. Damn it he thought she was trying to escape and it was simply a bodily function. He needed to pay more attention to her and her needs. A good mate would.
“Oh. Sorry.” He lifted her from the bed and carried her to the bathroom in the hall. He let her feet drop to the wooden floor. “Hold onto me.” He tugged her panties down and her face heated.
“I can do it.” She shoved at him. Could this be any more embarrassing?
“You’re on some really strong meds, if I let you go, you will fall.” He eased her down on the toilet. “I’ll give you some privacy.” He turned and closed the door behind him. She sat there for what seemed like forever emptying her bladder. Nothing had ever felt better and she shivered.
‘Wow.’ She breathed. Jordan came back a few minutes later to get her. “Can I shower? I feel gross.” Maybe the water would warm her, she felt like she was freezing.
“I don’t think you can stand long enough for a shower, how about a bath?” She nodded. Jordan filled the tub with hot water. “Do you think you can eat? I can make you some soup.” She nodded again. Jordan pulled her tee shirt over her head and she immediately crossed her arms over her breasts. He lifted her from the toilet and put her down into the water. “I’ll make your soup. If you need anything just yell.” Jordan left her alone. Lettie looked down at her body. The tears oozed over her cheeks. She looked like she’d been through a war. There were bite marks all over her. Fading black and purple bruises covered most of her and she ached. She sank down into the water and let it cover her head. “Fuck Lettie!” Jordan picked that moment to come through the door. He hauled her out and wrapped her in a towel.
“I wasn’t finished.” She whined.
“I’m not letting you finish that job.” He carried her back into the bedroom and put her in the middle of it. He’d changed the sheets and there were more blankets now. How long was she in the tub? It felt like seconds. How long had she been under water? Not long. Right? The doc’s meds were messing with her sense of time and her thought processes. He covered her with several quilts and propped her up against the headboard. He brought a tray of chicken noodle soup and crackers. “Eat what you can. The doc said you may not be very hungry but that you can try. Then he wants you under a pile of covers. We need to break your fever.” Lettie sipped the soup. She was so tired. It was hard to lift the spoon but she managed to eat half of it. She felt Jordan take the spoon away and lift the tray from her lap. Soon he was back and arranging her in the bed. He climbed in with her and pulled her close. She whimpered trying to tell him she didn’t have her clothes on yet.
Lettie tried to move but there was too much weight on her. It’s so hot. She thought. A cool cloth touched her forehead and mopped her face. She shivered. “It’s not getting better doc.” Jordan’s voice rumbled against her cheek.
“I know. I think this is more than what happened to her. I think this is her giving up.” What was the doc talking about now? She hadn’t given up but she was so tired and cold again.
“Nah. Let
tie never gives up.” He pulled her tightly to his chest.
“I don’t know Jordan. It’s the only explanation.” His voice sounded sad.
“You’re wrong doc. Give her another shot.” Lettie felt it prick her hip. She wished he would stop that, it hurt. She whimpered again.
“I need to check on Isaiah, he’s jaundiced but I’ll be back in twelve hours or so to check on her.” Jordan nodded and pulled her closer to stroke her back. The front door closed and Lettie nuzzled him. Jordan wished that she would stop doing that, it was torture. He’d been hard for days it seemed. His body did not get the memo that she didn’t want him anymore. Lettie kissed his chest and he groaned. This sexual torture must be payback for all of the shit he’d done to her, it had to be. Her pink tongue tasted his flat male nipple and she moaned. Jordan tried to think of anything else besides her pretty tongue touching his skin. Her hands were on him now skimming over his heated flesh. She moaned again. God. When she made those noises, sounds that he hadn’t heard for years, sounds that his body craved, he couldn’t resist her. Her hands were on him, her fingers wrapping around his girth, stroking him.
“Lettie.” Jordan said in his most commanding voice and she responded but not how he expected. It turned her on more. Her leg wrapped around his hip and she was… oh shit! “Lettie.” He said again. Too late. She put his cock inside of her. She was moving against him. No man had the will power to resist that. Jordan rolled her onto her back. She liked it this way. He preferred to take her from behind so he could cup those magnificent breasts with his hands but she liked this. So he would give her this. She always wanted to look into his eyes. She wasn’t looking now but maybe she would open them. When she did, there may be hell to pay but right now, this was heaven. Besides, she started it. Jordan rolled his hips and she moaned loudly moving with him. Both of her legs wrapped around him and he buried his face in her neck. God she smelled like heaven. Jordan covered her skin with warm kisses. His tongue traced the mating muscle. He wanted to claim her again so badly but without her consent, it was just another bite mark on her beautiful skin. Jordan moved carefully in and out of her. He wanted to give her pleasure, he wanted to give her the pleasure that he felt he owed her. She was right. The only thing that he’d done was make her unhappy the last few years. This was never a problem for them. The physical act of love making, it was meeting up at the same point in time with both of them feeling the same way and wanting the same things. It was easy early on, but later it rarely happened. Either he was mad at her or vice versa. What had happened to them? What happened to all that love? They were so in love when they were young. Lettie was moaning and writhing. His body was reacting of its own accord. She cried out his name and it was a panacea for all the hard feelings between them, for the moment anyway. Jordan’s body tensed then released inside of her. She stilled.
