Once Mated Twice Shy

by K. S. Martin

  “Colette. I’m rescinding. I’m yours. We’ll go somewhere else and start over.” Jordan came to her breaking through the group of wolves to get to his mate.

  “No one wants you to leave Jordan.” Mark stepped forward.

  “My mate feels unwanted because of the mentality of this pack and my stupidity. We can’t stay where she feels that way. I know that our relationship is confusing to all of you but here’s the thing, it’s none of your damned business. The only people who need to understand our relationship is us.”

  Lettie looked up at Jordan with wide eyes. He’d just defended her to the pack after she’d rejected him. He rescinded his position. He was going to take her away from here and start over. Jordan Giroux really did love her!

  “Jordan, I think that the pack wants another vote.” Many members were murmuring and getting antsy in their seats. “Can you excuse us for a few minutes?” Jordan gave him a curt nod and left the room. Lettie followed him out. “Lettie, you are entitled to a vote.” Mark called after her.

  “Do what you want.” Jordan went upstairs to the living room and poured himself a shot of whiskey. Lettie watched him but he ignored her. “Jordan?” His eyes flashed. “Did you mean all of that? That we would go somewhere else and start over? You would rescind your position as alpha?” He nodded and threw the whiskey back. Lettie bit her lip while he poured another.

  “I just hope that I didn’t waste all that money on an unappreciative pack. It would be a shame after all of the scrimping and saving you did. When I think about all of those peanut butter sandwiches that you ate just to save some money for a bunch of people who…”

  “It’s okay. Pack comes first. We both know that.” Lettie said quietly.

  “No. Pack comes second. Mates come first. I get it now.” He tossed the third shot back and put the whiskey away. “You should get ready for bed, you’re exhausted.” Lettie nodded and went to her room. Jordan went back to the meeting and she curled on her side watching the hall. When he finally came back, he went straight to his room and locked the door. Was he still the alpha? Did they vote him in or out? Curiosity was killing her. Lettie went to his door and knocked. Jordan did not answer. She knocked again but he ignored her. Her brows furrowed and she went back to bed.

  Lettie woke to the smell of coffee. She got up and showered then found her breakfast waiting on the table. He was already gone. She found him splitting wood again. How much did he need? His muscles bunched and flexed as he swung the axe. She watched while she ate but he never looked up. He was amazing. The toned muscles in his legs worked when he bent to pick up a new log to split. She cleaned her dished then went outside. “Jordan?”

  “Yeah.” He answered without looking at her.

  “What did they decide?” She watched him hoping for a conversation but he didn’t seem to be in a chatty mood.

  “They put me on six months probation. If I can’t get my priorities straight then I will have to leave.” He swung the axe, thwack! The two pieces of wood fell off of the stump. “Anything else?” She shook her head. “Good, there’s laundry and the bathroom then.” Jordan turned for another piece of wood to split.

  “Are you mad at me?” Lettie asked.

  “Nope. Just got stuff to do.” Jordan swung the axe. Thwack! He picked up a few of them and stacked them on the long row behind him. Lettie went inside. Jordan was ignoring her. He ignored her the night that he’d rejected her. He’d been so attentive since the night at the store. Lettie’s lip trembled. It seemed as though things were going back to the way they were before he left. Well he couldn’t reject her now because he didn’t carry his mark. Lettie decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. She decided instead that he had a lot on his mind and went about her duties. She made sandwiches then went to the patio door to call him to lunch. She sat and ate her sandwich watching him through the door. He kept working until she finished her meal. He was doing this on purpose! He was purposely avoiding her just when he’d become interesting.

  ***

  Lettie put her favorite short red dress on for dinner then came to the kitchen where he was cooking. “Good evening Jordan.” She said perching up on a barstool.

  “Lettie.” He turned the steak over on the indoor grill and went into the pantry. The smile split his face. His plan was working. She’d pulled out the big guns. She knew that he loved that dress on her. He got hard every time she wore it. Jordan talked his midsection down and drew his face into a serious one. He salted the food and put it on plates. She was giving him her most pleasant and most attentive look. Once he’d set her plate in front of her he carried his to the office and shut the door. Her chest felt like it had a hole in it. He really wasn’t interested in her anymore after all. She’d demanded too much. He’d almost lost alpha because of her, her selfishness, after he’d worked so hard at it. This was it. There was nothing left. She was his guest and may as well be a stranger to him. Well that would not do. Where had the man that proclaimed his love at the meeting gone? He was willing to move away with her but he couldn’t sit across the dinner table? This was not right. Lettie pushed her plate away, went to her bedroom, and slammed the door. Jordan came back to the kitchen with his plate to sit at the dinner table. Her food sat untouched and that disturbed him, not because it was a waste but because she didn’t eat. The last thing he wanted was for her to go hungry. Jordan huffed out a breath. Maybe this wasn’t the best tactic after all. “Lettie!” He heard her mumbled ‘what’ from the bedroom. “Come and eat your dinner.” She came back in her shorts and tank tee. They were her bedclothes. “Tired? It’s early for bed but you should eat, regardless.” She nodded and sat. Taking small bites and chewing thoroughly, her eyes stayed on her plate. He heard her sniffle a second before she got up and went back to her room. Okay, this was the wrong tactic. Jordan followed her and knocked softly on her door, no answer. He opened it to look inside. She was packing. Definitely the wrong tactic. “Where are you going?”

  “Somewhere that you’re not.” His growl grumbled through his chest.

  “Why?” Jordan leaned against the door jamb.

  “Because, you obviously don’t want me to stay here. You’re cold and indifferent. You ignore me and you can’t even sit down to a meal with me. I can’t live like this.” She stuffed the bag as full as it would go.

  “I was respecting your wishes. You said that you…”

  “I know what I said Jordan. Did you ever consider that maybe I don’t know everything? Maybe I need you to be my alpha, not the pack alpha, but mine? Maybe I need you to be in charge. Maybe I don’t know what I want but I know it’s not this. I can’t do this. I can’t live with a man that looks through me anymore.” A smile played about his face. “What?”

  “I was playing hard to get.” Her eyes narrowed and Jordan’s mouth was crushing her lips a second later. Lettie melted into him. “I love you Lettie and I want to be with you.” He murmured against her mouth. She moaned. “I just needed for you to realize that you want it too.”

  “You’re an ass Jordan Giroux.” Lettie smacked him when the kiss ended.

  “I want you to be my mate Lettie, don’t ever doubt that.” Jordan lifted her and carried her to his bed. “You sleep here from now on.” She nodded. “I need you to forgive me and I need for you to mean it. Don’t just say the words. You have to let it all go. Every muddy boot print, the rape, the teasing, the bad feelings, everything that I did or caused that has poked holes in your soul Colette, I need you to forgive them.” She was sitting on the side o the bed and he was leaning over her with his hands braced on each side of her hips. “We need to be together because neither of us is safe or whole without the other and we both know it.” Lettie bit her lip. “This will go no further until you forgive me.” Jordan’s eyes were amber and intent on hers. She drew a ragged breath and nibbled her lip. “You have to say the words Lettie and then you have to let me mark you. We are not going to move forward until that happens too. I am sick and tired of being mated while I’m not mate
d. You are worth more than your weight in gold but not if you are available for other men. I want us to be a team, two halves of a whole and I want pups. I’m tired of playing house. I know we were young when we mated and maybe that was a mistake. Maybe we should have waited until we were old enough to act like grownups. I am a grownup now Lettie and I’ve decided on what I want. If you don’t want those things too then we will part ways. This is it. You choose. Will it be forever with me or forever without me?” She gulped. He was serious. His eyes were more intense than she’d ever seen them. Jordan was all-alpha right then and it was intoxicating. There was nothing in the world that she wanted more than to be his forever but could she let go of everything, of all of the pain. To belong to this Jordan, the one that was not a kid playing with his new toy, but the one that was ready to take on the responsibility of a mate. This was so hard. She wanted him, and she wanted to let it go but it was damned hard. She nodded. “I said you have to say the words Lettie!” His voice boomed in her ears and she trembled closing her eyes. Being with him was so important to her heart’s survival. He was right when he said that he was soulless and heartless without her, she was too. She’d felt nothing but emptiness since he’d walked out all of those nights ago. Lettie wanted so much to feel complete again, to feel loved again, and to look into this man’s eyes every day. This man was her other half. He was her soul mate. It sounded corny but he was and her soul knew it. Way back when he was fifty pounds lighter with half of the muscle that he had now. Way back when he was still trying to grow a mustache and trying to get into her pants. Her soul knew him, her wolf knew him, it wanted him, and it needed him. Her wolf needed Jordan. It was why they were inseparable when they were so young, why their hormones were crazy for each other, and why their parents gave in so quickly. Everyone knew it. It didn’t matter that they’d had a rough patch, the fights, the bad feelings, the tears, and the hate, none of it mattered. What mattered was that they would spend the rest of their lives together. They’d loved intensely, fought intensely, and made up just as intensely. She and Jordan did everything in epic proportions. Lettie took a long deep breath and let it all go. As misguided as it was, everything that Jordan did, he did for her, his mate. They say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. They’d certainly walked that road and they’d been to hell, it was time to step back into what could be heaven.

  Chapter Eight

  Jordan blew out a breath when her eyes slipped closed and he stood. This was it. He’d bet it all on her and she couldn’t do it, she couldn’t forgive him. Fuck. God he’d been so stupid. His youth, the time he’d spent sniffing after her, the time he’d spent fighting with her and trying to alpha up, it was all wasted. He was never to mate and be happy. He would never have pups. Women were supposed to have ticking biological clocks but apparently, men could have them too. Jordan’s sounded like the big clock in England. His hands fisted at his sides and he turned to leave. He didn’t want to give up on her, not ever, but she was giving up on him. “I forgive you Jordan,” she whispered. “For all of it, for everything, I want you to mark me and I want to give you pups.” A slow lazy smile spread over his face. Lettie took her shirt off and pulled her hair out of the way. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.” Her eyes were round and her breaths shallow remembering the rogues. His head shook. Her chin quivered. Was he toying with her again?

  “Not until you climax darlin’ I don’t want to hurt you, not ever again. Tonight we start over. This is our first time together as grownups.” Jordan took the rest of his clothes off and sat beside her on the edge of the bed. “I want to start on the first pup soon okay, and I want a houseful, are you in agreement with that?” Lettie considered it and Jordan grew nervous.

  “How many is a houseful? I don’t think that we can afford too many. I was saving up for them but now…” She was knotting her fingers in her lap.

  “You were saving up? What do you mean?” What was she talking about now? Lettie didn’t want children, she never had. “You said that you didn’t want pups. What do you mean you were saving up?” She glanced up at him.

  “I didn’t want them when I was fifteen and not even when I was twenty but I knew that I would someday. I was saving up. I thought if I could save enough money that we could afford a couple. They’re expensive Jordan. The man on TV said that they cost like a quarter of a million dollars each.” Jordan laughed. “What? Are you laughing at me?”

  “You always were a planner. You don’t have to pay that up front sweetheart.”

  “I know that jackass but they need clothes, food, shoes, video games…”

  “We’ll be fine sweetheart.” He smiled but she saw the doubt in them and narrowed her eyes.

  “What is it Jordan? You said that we are two halves so tell me what you were thinking just then.” He grimaced.

  “The pack is broke, you’ve seen the books. We are broke.” She nodded. “We need to come up with something to make money for ourselves and the pack. I was thinking about a heating and air company.”

  Lettie got up and stripped the rest of her clothes off. “You hated that kind of work.” Jordan got under the covers and waited for her. He lifted them to let her crawl in with him. Lettie fit herself into his side.

  “But I know how to do it and there are a few others that know how too. We need to do something. Frank sold the cabinet business but he kept the money while everyone sat here thinking we were rich.”

  “I don’t think he kept it. From what I can tell, Frank sold the company and made a lot of stupid investments. I don’t think he’s out there retired and sipping margaritas somewhere. I think he’s either alone or with another pack by now but I don’t think he stole the money.” She rested her cheek on his chest and listened to his heart thump.

  “Huh, are you sure.” She nodded. “So he asked me to challenge him because he couldn’t fix it. He ran.” She nodded again. Jordan hugged her closer and kissed the top of her head. The sun was nearly gone from the sky but the last few beams of light shown through the blinds. Lettie tasted his skin. “This is permanent Lettie. No more rejecting each other.” Lettie looked up at him.

  “You started it.” She smiled against his chest.

  “Yeah but I’m not as smart as you are.” She grazed her teeth across his nipple and he growled. Lettie’s tongue flicked at it and he gasped then pounced, flipping her over onto her back. “We’ll be okay.” She nodded then wrapped her legs around him as he sank into her. “You feel so good.” Lettie pulled his head down to hers. She mouthed his mating muscle. “Mark me.”

  “Not yet. I don’t want to hurt you anymore either.” She murmured.

  “Every second that you wait is more painful than your bite with be.” Jordan’s tongue pressed against the pulse at the base of her neck. Lettie’s canines extended and she sank them into his neck as gently as she could. He growled against her skin and rolled his hips. Lettie moaned. Jordan filled her repeatedly setting her insides alight with want and need. Her legs tightened around him as the orgasm crashed over her nerves and senses. “Oh Christ, Lettie!” He roared. Her fingernails tore at the muscles of his back when his canines eased into the tender flesh of her neck. He tended the wound immediately. There would b no more pain for his mate. Jordan kept kissing her long after she slept. “Mine.” He murmured against her skin. Lettie sighed and moved closer to him. She nuzzled his chest and Jordan smiled. This was how it should be, complete, and utter contentment. Jordan thought as he drifted off to sleep.

  “That’s it!” Lettie sat straight up as she shouted. “I have it Jordan.” She suddenly bounced excitedly an hour after she’d fallen asleep. “I know what to do. I know how to save the pack and how we can have pups!” Jordan chuckled and smiled up at her.

  “Tell me.” Lettie was up on her knees now with her hands braced on his chest. Jordan tugged her forward hoping to ease her into a straddle over his hardening erection but she wouldn’t budge. Who could stay soft with those gorgeous breasts in their face? They were full and p
ale, their plump tips like tiny ripe raspberries. Jordan could barely refrain from leaning up to take one into his mouth.

  “Mister Thompson is always talking about retiring and going to Florida. He wants to sell the store but he wants to sell it to someone that he trusts.”

  “What part of broke did you not understand?” One eyebrow rose at her.

  “Yeah that’s the beauty of it. The store sits on nearly one hundred acres of land that Mister Thompson didn’t want developed because he didn’t want the traffic passing his house. It’s been in his family forever. If we can get all of it, we can sell some of that to the developers. It won’t matter about the traffic because he will be in Florida.”

  “Still broke.” He leaned toward a rosy nipple.

  “No we aren’t Jordan. Get your head out of the box.” She pushed him back down. “We are sitting on two thousand acres and thirty-nine houses that we own outright. We can borrow against all of that to buy from Thompson, then turn around and sell to developers. Meanwhile we can run the grocers. All of the wolves who have been loafing around here since Frank sold the business can go back to work at the store. You know we need help, everyone has been working overtime to fill in.”

  “And you can manage it…” A slow lopsided smile spread over his face deepening the dimple at the corner of his mouth.

  “Because I have been for years, the only thing I haven’t done is collect the profits.” Her smile was playful and self-satisfied. Jordan nodded with only pride on his face. His mate was amazing. He knew it and he’d always known it, because she was his miracle.

  “You are brilliant darlin’, did you know that?” Lettie threw her leg over him straddling him. “And so damned sexy.” She reached between them and put his stiffness inside her channel sinking down onto him with a sigh. Jordan groaned when she moved on him. She moved gently, easily. “Shit Lettie. More. Move.” She eased up and back again. “Oh hell no! I can’t take this; you’re going to kill me.” Lettie giggled. She was always good at goading him into being rough like she wanted him to be. Jordan rolled her underneath him and pounded into her. He buried his face in her neck, and mouthed his bite. Lettie loved it every time he stroked the nerves inside of her, every time his lips nipped at her neck. She raised her legs higher resting her feet on his hipbones. Each thrust forward opened her up more for him. “God I love you.” He grunted when he came but he didn’t stop moving until she exploded around him. Her body bowed and shook. She arched her back for him taking all of him as he collapsed into her. When their labored breaths eased, Jordan rolled to his side and held her close to his chest. His arms wrapped tightly around her as they both drifted off to sleep satiated.