How all-consuming the passion had been between them.
“… my wife to live as well.” He caught the apple and held it still.
My wife to live ?
The words jerked her to attention. Matthew grinned expectantly.
“You expect me to live in a… a”—she could barely choke out the word—“cottage?”
He shrugged. “If truth were told, it’s not substantially better than a shack.”
“A shack?” She rose to her feet. This was not at all what she had in mind. “You expect me to live in a shack?”
“The rooms we shared in Paris were not especially grand. They were rather shabby, if I recall.”
“Another consideration?” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“I have only one horse, and he is better suited to pull—”
“A carriage?” she said hopefully.
“It’s really a wagon.” He shook his head in a regretful manner she didn’t believe for a moment. “In truth, more of a cart.”
“To go along with the shack, no doubt.” She would put up with his living conditions, castle or cottage scarcely mattered, as long as she was with him. But she had absolutely no intention of traveling in a cart or a wagon. Still, it was not necessary for him to know that. “Very well.”
“And there will be no servants,” he warned.
“Of course not, given your modest income,” she said brightly. “Is that it, then? Your conditions?”
“Not entirely.” He studied the apple in his hand casually.
“Really? Whatever is left?” She ticked the items off on her fingers. “Thus far you have eliminated servants and any possibility of civilized living either during our travels or when we are in the proximity of London. It seems to me your requirements ensure I will indeed act as your wife in the fullest, as well as the most frugal, sense of the word.”
He raised his gaze to hers and wicked triumph glittered in his eyes. “Not entirely.”
She drew her brows together. “I don’t see—” At once she did see, and all too well. The man was an annoying beast, but at least he still wanted her, and that was a start. And he had played right into her hands.
“You do not mean…” She widened her eyes in stunned disbelief. “You cannot possibly believe…” She wrung her hands together and paced to the right. “Surely, you do not expect that I…” She swiveled and paced to the left. “That you… that we…” She stopped and turned toward him. “That you think I would… Oh, Matthew, how could you?” She let out a wrenching sob, buried her face in her hands and wept in the manner of any virtuous women presented with such an edict.
“Good Lord! Your Highness. Tatiana.” Concern sounded in his voice and she heard him step closer. “I didn’t mean—”
“I know what you meant.” She sobbed.
“I didn’t realize you’d— That is to say, I didn’t want—”
“You most certainly did.” She dropped her hands and glared at him. “This is exactly what you wanted. Exactly the response you hoped for.” She advanced toward him. “Are you happy now? Was my reaction dramatic enough for you? Was I as aghast, as offended, as hurt as you’d wished?”
“I never—”
“And was it satisfying, Matthew?” She stepped to within a few inches of him and planted her hands on her hips. “Or was there a moment of regret over your beastly behavior?”
“There is now.” He glared down at her but held his ground.
“Hah. I doubt that. Your intentions with this and every other of your ridiculous conditions was to shock me and, furthermore, to put me in my place. Obviously as revenge for the wrongs I have done you.”
“They were not,” he said indignantly.
“Come, now. You don’t lie nearly as well as I do.” She cast him a look of disdain. “These stipulations of yours, especially the last one.” She shook her head. “Did you really believe for a moment I would fall to pieces at the idea of sharing your bed? I am not a blushing virgin. I have been married.”
“Twice, by last count.” His eyes narrowed dangerously. “Or have I missed another marriage or two?”
“Not yet,” she snapped. “But the day is still young.”
“Excellent. Then you will no longer need me.”
“However, at this particular moment, I do still need you.”
“Do you?” An odd intensity underlaid his words.
“Yes,” she said sharply. “And if you think your silly conditions will dissuade me, you do not—”
“Know you?” he said pointedly.
She stared at him for a long moment. He was wrong, and it was discouraging to realize he did not understand that. In their few short days together he knew her better than anyone alive. Knew the truth of her heart and soul that she had never revealed to anyone but him. He simply never knew the details of her life that were at once significant and yet so inconsequential.
She drew a deep breath and stepped back, forcing a casual note to her voice and her manner. “Now, then, regarding your conditions.”
“Yes?”
“I quite understand your position and I must compliment you on such clear thinking. If indeed we are to be convincing, it is necessary to play our parts as thoroughly as possible. Therefore”—she lifted a shoulder in a casual shrug—“I accept your conditions.”
“All of them?” He raised a brow.
“Why not? If I remember correctly, sharing your bed was not an unbearable hardship. We had rather a remarkable time together. In truth, it was the most exciting… well, adventure of my life. Besides, whether you are willing to admit it or not, you are far too honorable a man to insist that I do anything against my will.”
“Are you certain?” That wicked gleam had returned to his eye and he resumed tossing the apple still in his hand.
“I am.”
“Don’t be.”
“Excellent.” She reached out and caught the apple in midair. “Surprise and uncertainty are the very blood and bones of adventure. And I am now confident our masquerade will indeed be an adventure.” Her gaze met and meshed with his and she bit into the apple.
She could see the struggle in his eyes and, even better, the moment when he lost. When his gaze slipped to her mouth. She chewed deliberately and swallowed, licking the apple juice from her lips.
“It should be a most”—his gaze met hers and he smiled—“satisfying adventure.”
The look in his eye was determined. Challenging.
He grabbed her hand and brought the apple to his mouth, biting it as she had, his gaze still locked with hers. For the first time she wondered if she was up to meeting such a challenge with such a man. The woman she had been most of her life was not. The woman she was now had yet to be tried.
He chewed and swallowed, his hand still on hers. Her fingers loosened and the apple dropped unheeded to the floor. For an endless moment they froze, as if time itself had stopped. Electricity arched between. Heat flowed from his hand to hers. The very air between them sizzled.
“When do you wish to begin?” His voice was forced, as if he could barely get the words out.
“As soon as possible.” She struggled to breathe.
“Tomorrow, then?” He made no move to release her.
“Early, I should think.” She made no effort to leave.
“Very well.” He drew a deep shuddering breath and let go of her hand.
She brushed aside the odd sensation of loss, stepped away and nodded, fighting to ignore a yearning that threatened to overwhelm her.
“Shall I call for you, then? Here?” At once he was as composed as if nothing had passed between them.
“No,” she said quickly, her outward manner as serene as his.
His expression tightened. “Of course not, Your Highness. You couldn’t possibly wish to be seen leaving with someone of my menial position in society.”
“Nonsense, my lord.” Where did the man get such ideas? She heaved an exasperated sigh. “I do not want to be seen with anyone. Only a few of my most
trusted advisors know of my plan and I wish it to remain that way. This is not precisely a proper sort of adventure.”
“No, I suppose not.” He shrugged as if it were of no consequence. “I shall wait for you, then, at the cottage.” He nodded and turned to leave.
Without thinking, she started after him. “My lord. Matthew.”
“Yes?” He turned back.
“I just…” She had no idea what she wanted to say. But she couldn’t let him go. Not now. Not yet. Not with this tension between them. She stepped closer. “I…”
“Yes?” he said again.
“I do appreciate what you’re doing for me.”
“Do you?”
“Very much so. Particularly given how you feel about me.”
“And how do I feel about you?” His expression was unfathomable.
“It is obvious that you are still angry with me.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. It is also apparent that you don’t fully believe what I am trying to do.”
“I have made no secret of that.” He studied her curiously. They were but a long stride apart. “Is there anything else? Any other observations you wish to share? About my feelings?”
“No. I do not…” She stopped and considered him. “Yes. In truth, there is.” She straightened her shoulders and met his gaze directly. It was past time to issue a challenge of her own. “I quite believe you would like to kiss me.”
“Would I?” He laughed. “What makes you think so?”
“Everything about you.” She swept a wide gesture in his direction. “Your manner. Your so-called conditions. The words you do not say as much as those you do.” She cast him a smug grin. “The very look in your eye.”
“The look in my eye, you say? How interesting. But perhaps you’re right. I daresay I’ve never kissed a princess before.” She started to protest, but he raised a hand to silence her. “Not knowing she was a princess, at any rate. I do recall once kissing the companion to a princess.”
She rolled her gaze toward the ceiling. “You are annoying, my lord.”
“Flattering of you to say so yet again. But I would much prefer to discuss your earlier observation.” In one swift move, he stepped close and pulled her into his arms, gazing into her eyes. “Is this the look you were speaking of?”
“Yes.” She stared up at him. “That is it exactly.”
“I see.” He drew his brows together thoughtfully. “Do you think I should do touch, known for far too long only in her dreams.”
He murmured against her skin. “I shall not fall in love with you again.”
“Nor do I expect you to.” Her words were scarcely more than a sigh.
“And should you fall in love with me”—his mouth trailed down her neck—“I shall be compelled to break your heart.”
“I can expect no less.” Her hands clutched at his shoulders and she shivered with the delight of his lips at the base of her throat. “Indeed, it is your turn to do so.”
“As long as we understand one another, Your Highness.”
“Oh, we do, my lord, we do indeed.”
His lips met hers again, and for a long moment she knew nothing in the world save the joy of at last being again in his arms. Finally he released her, slowly, with a reluctance she prayed wasn’t entirely due to lust.
She stepped back and struggled for a semblance of composure. “Until tomorrow, then.”
“I should be going.” He paused as if he wished to say something more.
“Yes?”
He shook his head, then turned and strode toward the doors. He pulled them open and glanced back. “I warn you, this adventure of yours has no more significance to me than a business arrangement. And as such I will attach no more emotion to it than that.”
She widened her eyes innocently. “I assure you I do not intend to allow my feelings for you to change in the slightest.”
“Excellent.” Again, his expression was unreadable. “We shall make quite an interesting pair, Lord and Lady Matthew. A gentleman whose best quality is the ability to be annoying and a princess with a tendency toward lie—”
“I prefer the term misstatement,” she said firmly.
He laughed and turned to go.
“Matthew?”
He paused.
“Will you miss me?”
He grinned. “Only as the horse—”
“Good day, my lord,” she said firmly, suppressing her own laugh.
He took his leave and she stared unseeing at the doors that closed in his wake.
Working her way back into this stubborn man's heart would not be easy. Finding the missing Heavens might well prove to be the easier of her quests.
But not the most important.
Chapter 5
Matt threw open the door of the cottage and stared down the road as he had a dozen times or more in the hour since dawn. Where was the blasted woman? She should have been here by now. She was the one eager to get this farce under way. This was her adventure, not his.
Perhaps she had changed her mind. Come to her senses and realized just how absurd this so-called adventure was. This mission of hers to retrace and document the travels of a fleeing princess half a century ago. He snorted with disdain. He could have come up with a better story without trying. Still, it served her purpose, whatever her purpose was. It was obviously more important to her than a silly history of her family. But what could be of such significance that she would come to him for help?
Unless she chose him only because of his grandmother’s involvement.
He turned away from the door and ran this hand through his hair. The question of why Tatiana had reappeared in his life had haunted him through the endless hours of the night past, just as it had the night before. He’d tossed and turned and scarcely slept more than an hour or so at best. Even when exhaustion had claimed him, he’d had no peace. His slumber was fraught with unanswered questions and all-too-vivid memories.
Matt absently paced the length of the room, acknowledging in the back of his mind how often he’d walked this same stretch of floor trying to puzzle out a problem. Those difficulties were typically of a mechanical nature. This was different. This was personal. And far more difficult.
At some point in the long, restless night he’d wondered if perhaps Tatiana’s true intentions had little to do with a long-dead relative and everything to do with the man she’d asked for help. If possibly it wasn’t the past of this Princess Sophia she searched for but a future with the man she’d once professed to love. It was a ridiculous thought, of course, triggered only by the startling clarity of his dreams and his own arrogance. While it was obvious at their last meeting that desire between them still simmered, it could go no further than that. He would not allow it, and in truth she had given him no reason to believe she wished otherwise.
She had not thrown herself into his arms, declaring her undying love. She had not wept with remorse at having abandoned him. Her apology had been scarcely more than polite. Nor had she begged his forgiveness and pleaded for him to allow her back into his life.
It was the height of irony to realize that he would have indeed forgiven her and more had she returned to him within the first months after her departure, even as long as a full year. He would have understood the reasons for her choice or, at least, wanted to understand and forgive. Now, it was too late.
He had no wish to rekindle what they’d once shared. Aside from his desire to protect his family, his only real reason in agreeing to her proposal was to rid himself of her continuing presence in his dreams. In his blood. To regain that part of his soul he’d given freely and never reclaimed. He cared no more for her than for any woman whose bed he wished to share.
Still, it was odd to note how much her quick agreement to his last condition dwelled in his mind. He knew full well, aside from her first husband, there had been no other man in her life before him. Had there been others since then? Had she discovered the kind of passion she’d shared with him with another man
? More than one? Fifteen months, three weeks and four days—no, six days now—was a very long time.
Certainly he had been with other women since he’d last seen her. Nameless and for the most part faceless, they had been one way he’d struggled to fill the emptiness Tatiana had left him with. Had she felt the same void?
Hardly. His jaw tightened at the thought. She had been the one to leave. The one to decide their marriage could not continue. He had had no choice in the matter. And no choice in her return.
The sounds of an approaching carriage caught his attention. He stalked to the door and stepped outside. But he damn well had choices now.
A curricle, rather too shiny to be anything but new, pulled to a halt on the road in front of the cottage. A horse tethered to the vehicle trailed behind. The gentleman, or more likely officer, he’d seen help Tatiana onto her horse after her last visit held the reins. Tatiana perched on the seat by his side, entirely too close. Matthew raised a brow. Surely that was not proper behavior for a princess or any other respectable woman.
The officer accompanying her leapt out of the carriage and hurried to help Tatiana to the ground with a familiarity that struck Matthew as far too intimate and extremely irritating.
“Good day, Lord Matthew.” She cast him a brilliant smile.
“Is it? I hadn’t noticed.” He directed his words toward her, but his gaze focused on her companion. The man was not unattractive—some might even say handsome, in a stern sort of way. Indeed, foolish women might well appreciate his dark hair and disapproving eyes. Matt wondered how foolish Tatiana was.
She laughed. “That is scarcely the way to start such a lovely day. I do think something a bit more welcoming is in order, although a sincere good day is always appropriate.”
“Good day,” Matt said, feeling not the least bit sincere.
The officer’s eyes narrowed slightly as if he didn’t appreciate Matt’s tone.
Tatiana ignored the palpable tension between the men. “My lord, I should like to introduce you to Captain Petrov. Captain, this is the Lord Matthew Weston.”
“My lord.” Petrov nodded coolly.
“Captain.” Matt’s voice was every bit as cold. For whatever reason, he didn’t like this man, and it was obvious the enmity was mutual.
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