by Amanda Renee
“I’m sure you’re anxious to get to know them, but I’m serious when I say I don’t want them to know who you are yet.” She kept her voice low. “They’re still looking for Lauren. They know she’s gone, but they also know she’s in town and keep asking to see her at the cemetery. I’ve tried to explain it to them. So has my mom and Abby—she’s my sister-in-law. The social worker in Boston explained it will take a while for them to adjust.”
Noah adored the way Hannah protected his children. His children. That was going to take some getting used to.
Hannah stared up at him, as if trying to read his mind. He was all too aware of their physical closeness. At six foot three, he stood a solid eight inches taller, if not slightly more. Her crystal-blue eyes were the clearest he’d ever seen of any eye color.
She was pretty, even with messy hair and paint-splattered clothes.
She inhaled deeply, sadness replacing her curious expression. She climbed over the baby gate into the large sunroom. It was spotless, freshly painted sunny yellow. Crisp white curtains framed the windows that overlooked a long row of horse stables and a riding area. There were four horses in one corral and two miniatures in another. In the distance, he saw more horses and dark soil-covered fields. He hadn’t realized her property was this extensive. It was deceiving from the front.
Noah zeroed in on the two sleeping figures curled up together on the white, slip-covered sofa at the far end of the room. He hadn’t anticipated that it would physically hurt to see them. There were two little lives less than fifteen feet away that he had helped create. Hannah reached out to wake them.
“Don’t.” His whisper cracked in the silence. “Let them sleep. I need to process this.”
“There’s a lot of that going around.” A bittersweet smile graced her lips. “Would you like to sit down?” She gestured to a pair of oversized beanbag chairs on the carpeted floor. “This is their playroom.”
Noah sank into a chair, letting it envelop him. He chuckled, unable to remember when he’d last sat in something so ridiculously comfortable and fun. They remained silent for a few minutes, watching the twins sleep. His nerves began to fade as the girls’ rhythmic breathing relaxed him. He may have known Lauren for only one night, but her face had been ingrained in his memory. Where the girls had his eyes, they had her dark hair and rounded nose. All children were beautiful, but Noah felt as if his were extra special.
“I know they look identical, but they’re fraternal twins,” Hannah said. “Cheyenne is an inch taller than Charlotte. And Charlotte has a tiny birthmark under her left eye.”
One of the girls stirred and sat upright before he had a chance to ask any of the millions of questions swirling through his brain. As Hannah rose, the little girl climbed off the sofa and toddled to them. “Charlotte, this is a friend of your mommy’s. His name is Noah and he came to meet you.”
Charlotte’s sleepy eyes blinked at him, still waking up from her nap. He had been right. Their irises were rimmed in black, the same as his were. “Go see Mommy?”
Hannah sucked her lips inward and looked toward the ceiling before answering. “Maybe tomorrow. You’ve already been twice today.”
Charlotte reached for Noah’s outstretched leg and pulled herself onto his lap. He held his breath. This little person was his child. His child was touching him. He stared down at her. She had little bits and pieces of him floating around inside her. It was a miracle—she was a miracle. And he couldn’t wrap his head around it.
“It’s okay to breathe, you know.” Hannah smiled warmly at the two of them.
He wanted to hug her for welcoming him into her home and allowing him to be there. He wanted to hug his daughter, but he didn’t know what was appropriate and what wasn’t. It felt surreal and natural at the same time.
“So this is what twenty-one months feels like.” Charlotte played with the silver cross around his neck. “They’re smaller than I th—” Noah shook his head. “I don’t know how big I thought they would be. I’m still overwhelmed by this. I can’t even begin to imagine what they were like when they were born. I don’t even know when that was.”
“Valentine’s Day. Which couldn’t have been more appropriate considering Lauren called them the greatest loves of her life.” A faraway look overshadowed Hannah’s smile. “They were good-sized babies for twins. I was in the delivery room when they were born. Charlotte was 7 lbs. 2 oz. and Cheyenne was 7 lbs. 6 oz. Between my parents and me, we have a ton of pictures.” She began to speak, then cut herself short. Tears filled her eyes. “Um, my mom and I weren’t able to take much from her house in Boston when we picked up the girls the other day. The company she worked for has someone packing her belongings and sending them to me. When they arrive, I’d be happy to share them with you. I think it’s important the children keep her memory alive, although at this age, how much can they possibly remember? Excuse me.”
Hannah stood and climbed over the baby gate, disappearing down the hall. Tiny fingers touched the side of his face, rubbing the rough stubble. She giggled loudly, waking Cheyenne on the other side of the room. When Hannah reappeared, two pint-size angels were playfully attacking him with their stuffed animals.
“I apologize.” She rejoined them in the sunroom. “Lauren’s dea—Her not being around any longer still doesn’t seem real.”
“Neither does this.” Noah smiled down at his daughters happily playing on his chest. “Did you and Lauren grow up together?”
“Play gently, Cheyenne,” Hannah said to the bouncing toddler. “We met in college and became best friends. Lauren didn’t have any family, so she came home with me on weekends, holidays and summer break. My parents thought of her as one of their own, so even though I was only a part of her life for six and a half years, she felt like a sister.” She scooted closer to the girls on the floor. “The twins strengthened the bond with my family even further. They call my parents Nanny and Grandpop.”
Now Noah understood who Nanny was. “When did Lauren move to Boston?”
“September.” Hannah stared into the distance. “Her leaving was hard...for all of us. My mom watched the girls during the day while Lauren went to work. Let me tell you—” she smiled, visibly fighting back tears “—my mom loved every second of it. These two have her—heck, all of us—wrapped around their fingers. But then it happened.” She sighed as the joy she’d expressed only a moment before slid from her face. “A pharmaceutical company in Boston offered Lauren a research scientist position. She was a biochemist—I don’t know if you knew that or not. Anyway, the job had incredible medical benefits, plus on-site day care and a relocation allowance. She would have been foolish to turn it down. Their new life had so much promise and it was hard to do anything other than wish them well.”
“How did it—” Noah didn’t want to say the words in front of the girls.
“How did it happen?” Hannah’s brows rose. “She hit a patch of ice on the way home from work. It was no one’s fault. Just a cruel twist of fate.”
Noah felt the need to comfort her in some way but didn’t know how. I’m sorry didn’t seem like enough.
“In case you don’t have plans for tomorrow...” Hannah hesitated. “You’re welcome to join us for Thanksgiving at my parents’ house. It’s loud and crowded, but it’s a lot of fun and there will be many people sharing stories about Lauren.”
Thanksgiving had always been him, a couple of the guys and football. He’d been raised by an incredible single mom. She spent her holidays serving food to the homeless in a Portland soup kitchen but had always found time to make a special Thanksgiving breakfast for just the two of them. She never included whomever she was dating at the time. Not that any of them had paid him much attention anyway. And he never knew his dad or his dad’s side of the family. It was their special tradition and this was the first year he’d miss it. “I’d love to. Thank you.”
He looked down at his daughters. Hovering multimillion-dollar helicopters above the tree line with two-hundred-foot logs swinging from a cable beneath him had always given him an adrenaline rush, but it was nothing compared to this.
* * *
HANNAH WAS NERVOUS Thanksgiving morning, which was ridiculous because she had no business being nervous about sitting down to a family dinner with the father of her best friend’s children. While she had to admit he was attractive—if you were into the tall, sandy-blond, mouthwatering Chris Hemsworth type—she didn’t have time to fawn over him. Or any man, for that matter. The clock was counting down to her next home inspection.
Hannah closed the door on the grain room in the stables. After feeding and turning out her own four horses and the thirteen boarders, she still had to muck the stalls and collect the eggs from the henhouse.
While everyone else slept off their food coma tonight, she’d be working on her house. And she still needed to find time to exercise her horse Restless for their barrel racing competition on Saturday. The prize money would about cover the cost of the raw materials necessary to pass inspection.
Ironically, the house probably would have passed a couple of months ago. It had needed some serious TLC, but she hadn’t begun pulling everything apart until after Lauren left. She’d had the luxury of time on her side, or so she’d thought. She had started one project after another before completing any of them. Truth be told, she had felt a bit unsettled without Lauren and the girls around. Her concentration outside of the rodeo arena had been next to zero and having a multitude of unfinished home repairs hadn’t mattered as much as they did now. She knew she’d eventually get to them. Now she didn’t have a choice.
Her brother had been able to round up some friends willing to help her meet the social worker’s deadline. She’d have to figure out a way to repay them afterward. Generosity was one thing, but she refused to take advantage of everyone’s kindness.
For a small ranch, chores took up the majority of the day. By the time she finished, she had just enough time for a quick shower before leaving for her parents’ house. She climbed the back stairs and hesitated at the door. For a split second, she swore she saw Lauren through the window, sitting at the kitchen table feeding the girls. Her chest ached when she realized it was only Abby.
Her sister-in-law had stopped over early to help her get the girls dressed and ready the same way Hannah had helped Lauren with the girls for the first nineteen months of their lives. It had been easier then. They’d rented an apartment in the center of town after college until Hannah purchased the small ranch in April. Lauren and the girls had moved in until they’d headed to Massachusetts two months ago. She wondered how Lauren had managed in Boston by herself. She had never complained, saying each day was a blessing. She had seen the beauty and grace in the simplest of things, whereas Hannah had always questioned everything.
Thanksgiving was a casual affair at the Tanner household. She threw on a pair of jeans, an ivory draped top and her favorite pair of Old Gringo boots, which Lauren had given her last Christmas. She quickly applied a little mascara and a slick of gloss over her lips on the way out the door.
She’d given Noah the address of her parents’ ranch. Back in their heyday, her parents had been sheep wool farmers. She asked him to meet them there around noon, and as she unfastened the twins’ car seat buckles, he drove toward her along the main ranch road. “Let me help you,” Noah said as he stepped from his car.
His arm brushed against hers as he reached into the cab and lifted Cheyenne out of her seat. Hannah shook off the tingling sensation it created, reminding herself of the Girlfriend’s Golden Rule—never lust after or date your best friend’s ex. Hannah gasped. The unexpected thought sucked the breath from her lungs. Any tingle from Noah would be completely inappropriate. She couldn’t betray Lauren. She wouldn’t.
“You look nice, by the way.” Noah’s voice snapped her to attention.
His casual comments didn’t help matters. “Thank you.” Every minute she spent around Noah, she understood Lauren’s attraction to him more. Granted the man would be in her life forever because of the girls, but it didn’t mean it was a one-way pass to a relationship.
“Are children their age permitted to ride in the front seat of the truck?”
His question knocked her off-kilter. She didn’t appreciate the insinuation she was illegally toting the kids around. “I assure you it’s quite legal. If a pickup truck doesn’t have an extended cab, children can ride up front if they are in an appropriate car seat or safety harness.” Hannah had read the manuals. She knew the rules. She’d even had the police department install the seats. There was no doubt in her mind the children were safe. Her truck wasn’t ideal, but she couldn’t afford a more child-friendly vehicle right now.
“Whoa, I didn’t mean to offend you.” Noah hip-checked the truck door closed once the twins were out. “Although I can see why you would be. I’m sorry. I guess I’m being overly protective. I mean, that’s what I’m supposed to do, right? That’s a fatherly thing.”
Hannah tried not to laugh at his explanation. He really was new to this. “I’m the one who should apologize. You’re asking the right questions. I’d be worried if you weren’t. This is old hat to us Charlotte and Cheyenne veterans.” She tugged at the bottom of Charlotte’s dress where it had caught in her white stockings. Not that those would last more than an hour the way the kids played. “For the record, I haven’t told anyone who you are yet. I mentioned I was bringing someone to dinner and figured we could tell them together. But again I ask you, please be careful what you say in front of the twins.”
Noah leaned closer to Hannah so the girls wouldn’t overhear. “I’m their father. You do plan on allowing me to tell them sometime soon, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course.” Hannah had the sinking feeling the next sixteen and a half years would be much harder than she’d imagined. He’d probably ask for a visitation schedule. She wasn’t ready for any overnight visits to his house and neither were the girls. “I’ve spent almost every day of their lives with them. I know what’s best. Trust me.”
Hannah introduced Noah to all sixteen members of her family—newly enlarged courtesy of her brother Clay’s marriage to Abby.
Once the girls were playing safely out of earshot, Hannah gathered her parents, brother and sister-in law together in the kitchen.
“I have something to tell you,” Hannah began. Her stomach clenched. “Noah isn’t just a friend of mine. He’s Charlotte and Cheyenne’s biological father.”
“Heaven help us.” Hannah’s mother reached for the counter to steady herself. “What does this mean?”
“It doesn’t mean anything yet.” Hannah spoke before Noah had a chance to respond. “The girls don’t know and we need to take this day by day.”
Noah excused himself, and for a brief second, Hannah wondered if he was making a break for it. From the outside looking in, she could see how her clan could be a tad intimidating.
“Why didn’t you call me as soon as Noah made contact with you?” Clay demanded. “I need to run him through the system and make sure he’s legit. I assume you’re going to schedule a paternity test. Taking this man at his word isn’t smart or safe.”
Hannah reeled from her brother’s onslaught of questions and demands. It was the downside to having a private investigator in the family. “I’m quite certain he’ll want a paternity test. But I’m positive he’s the father. He was the only person Lauren had been with during that time. As for a background check, I’m fine with it. I don’t think he needs to know, though.”
“Where does he even live?” Clay asked. “And what are his intentions with the twins?”
“I don’t know.” Lauren and Noah hadn’t spent much of their night together talking. And Hannah hadn’t thought to ask during his visit yesterday afternoon. “He met Lauren in College S
tation and he learned of her death there, too, so I’m assuming he lives somewhere in that vicinity.” It wasn’t next door, but three and a half hours away would allow him to visit on weekends. Maybe after a while she’d even be willing to make up a guest room for him so he could spend more time with his daughters.
Clay rolled his eyes. “My naive little sister, things aren’t always as they appear on the surface. What’s his last name? I’ll have one of my associates begin working on it.”
Hannah hadn’t remembered him mentioning a last name. She groaned inwardly. “I have no idea. I took him at his word.” Maybe she had more of Lauren in her than she thought.
“I’ll handle it. Until we know more about him, you should limit his time with the twins and make sure someone else is there when he’s around.” Clay enveloped her in a hug.
“I know this is hard, kiddo.” Hannah’s father joined them. “We’ll help you through it any way we can. Clay’s right, though. Until we know more about him, you need to keep your distance. At the very least, have one of us there with you.”
They rejoined the rest of the family as Noah reappeared bearing a bouquet for her mother and a couple of bottles of wine for her father. Her parents appreciated the sweet gesture. Something Lauren used to say came to mind: “You can’t fake sincerity.” Hannah had always argued that fact, until yesterday. Noah seemed genuinely enamored with his daughters, which was what Lauren had always hoped for. She had always vowed to find him one day.
By the end of dinner, Clay had grilled Noah more than a steak on a barbecue. His last name was Knight...as in shining armor. Lauren would have howled at that. And his first name was William. But there had been so many Williams in his kindergarten class he’d asked the teacher to use his middle name instead. He went by Noah from then on. That explained why Clay hadn’t been able to locate a pilot named Noah when Lauren asked him to find the father of her unborn babies. His job as a helicopter-logging pilot sounded as cool as it did dangerous.
