Everyone was glad to have Jarl back. It seemed like everyone in the colony knew him now and held him in awe. He supposed he would have been impressed if someone else had survived, so he tried to be as humble as possible when dealing with people. His coworkers were more casual with him than anyone else and he was glad. He frequently worked with the same people and wouldn’t be able to stand it if they treated him with the reverence some people had. Almost everyone in the colony had a main job that they did three weeks of the month and then they alternated between the necessary but less desirable jobs the other week. Jarl and the other harvesters were a little different because half of the year was divided between their normal work and training for the harvest, but he still worked that schedule and was glad to be back with people he knew. It started to reduce the sting of losing Kandor.
He told everyone about the moon, of course, and they all listened. He suspected most of them would try it. They trusted him because they’d worked with him for years, unlike the others who barely knew him. And one of them, Ender, seemed especially interested. After several days, he approached Jarl shyly. At his request, Jarl went out with him that night, safe in the heart of the colony where the wind wouldn’t claim them and the guards would have plenty of time to stop them if it did. It was in one of the grassy areas and Jarl laid down in the grass the way Arlen had once, cradling his head in his hands and missing the creature. Ender, after a moment, did the same. The moon was almost directly overhead and Jarl sighed in awe at the sight. It soothed him as nothing else did.
“It really is beautiful,” Ender said. “You’re right. I never have looked at it before. It looks like two mice chasing each other, doesn’t it?”
“Two rabbits,” Jarl said absently, then laughed. “I suppose it doesn’t matter, does it? They’re not real.”
“I can see rabbits,” Ender said consideringly. “They do seem to have ears. I hadn’t noticed. So this is what you saw when you were outside?”
“Yes,” Jarl said, and realized Ender was looking at him, not the moon.
“You’re beautiful, too,” Ender said in a husky voice, and Jarl blushed. He sat up and looked away, and Ender sat up too and placed his hand over Jarl’s. “I’m sorry. You just look so peaceful in the moonlight. I know you still miss him.”
Everyone had assumed he and Kandor had a much deeper relationship than they had but Jarl had never corrected them. It helped explain his injuries and his death had struck him as deeply as it would have if they had been together. And to be honest, he had considered it on many occasions. Sometimes he saw Kandor looking at him, and sometimes he looked back the same way. But they had never done anything and he regretted it deeply now.
“I suppose everyone dies eventually,” he said. “I just wish he hadn’t died like that. Or on that night.”
The timing upset him more than anything else. While Jarl was surviving, Kandor wasn’t. What made Jarl so much better than his best friend? Why had the creatures spared him and not his friend? Why had Arlen approached him in a friendly manner and earned his trust, allowing him to survive, but no one had approached Kandor? The creatures had exactly the same opportunity with Kandor, with all of the harvesters, really. Most harvesters were only out one or two nights, he supposed, but Kandor was out four nights the same as Jarl. Why was Arlen the only creature willing to approach a human like that?
“I’m glad you survived,” Ender said, squeezing his hand and scooting closer. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now.”
Jarl looked over at him and realized what he was intending. He considered refusing, but felt almost a sense of helplessness. He was alone, without Arlen, among these humans that he no longer felt any true connection with. Maybe if he let this happen, he would feel like they were his people again.
He leaned towards Ender and their lips locked in a kiss. He remembered kissing Arlen and his fangs, but Ender was all sweetness under his tongue and he found himself pulling Ender closer, drawing him in, eager for this sensation he had missed. Ender wrapped his arms around him and he melted against him, feeling a need stirring inside him. He wanted to offer himself to Ender but the man wouldn’t understand and wouldn’t be able to accept what he was offering. He needed Arlen to satisfy the craving to offer himself. Would Arlen even be able to feed on him now that he was part of the planet? Well, everything had to feed, he considered. Arlen would still need to feed, and he could offer himself in place of drawing in innocent humans. Maybe Arlen wouldn’t be able to feed on anyone else, he thought. While he didn’t want Arlen to starve, that thought pleased him. He would be Arlen’s only, just as Arlen was the only one in his heart.
“Come home with me,” Ender said, though he made it a question instead of a command.
Should he? Part of him wanted to go with Ender and forget his worries and fears in a moment of bliss, but would it be betraying Arlen? Did it matter if he betrayed Arlen? Arlen wasn’t here, after all, and might never be here.
“Not yet,” he whispered. “I’m not ready yet. Ask me again in a few weeks.”
Ender smiled and kissed him again, and he sunk into the sensation. When they finally pulled apart, Ender’s eyes were dazed with pleasure but he nodded.
“I will ask you,” he promised. “And I’ll hope for a different answer.”
They laid back down and gazed at the moon for a while, holding hands but otherwise not touching. They didn’t talk, either, too comforted by the sight of the glowing orb watching over them. Finally, when the moon moved out of view behind the tall buildings of the colony, they stood up. Ender kissed him one last time, sweetly, and they parted ways.
Chapter 11
There was another survivor the next morning, and as he was brought into the colony with fanfare, Jarl again pushed to the front and stared. The man was wrapped in a blanket the same way Jarl had been after the attack and he couldn’t see the damage. He was limping and appeared to be in pain, but he was walking on his own and there were no missing limbs that he could see. He also wasn’t immediately swarmed by doctors. There was only a single doctor, the same doctor that had helped Jarl and was the head doctor of the colony every week except his work week. Even then, he was on call. The president was there, of course, and the old timers gathered quickly. But while before they had included Jarl in their discussions of the survivor, this time they didn’t and he hoped that wasn’t a bad sign.
He returned to his day, wondering how the survivor was doing and how he had been hurt. And he considered. The night Issa had survived, he had gotten up and looked at the moon, and she had also looked at the moon. Last night, he had been looking at the moon most of the night. Was he doing something? He knew others had to be looking at the moon at this point, but no one else was surviving. Did he have to be looking at the moon at the same time as them? There was no real way to tell because he couldn’t ask the people who died if they had managed to look at the moon. He could only ask the survivors and he strongly suspected the man had been looking at the moon at the same time Jarl was looking at it. But why?
That night, he spent hours gazing at the moon before going to bed. In the morning, there was a survivor. The next night, he stayed away from the window. There were no survivors. He knew he should test it more thoroughly but if him looking at the moon was saving lives, he needed to keep doing it. So he began spending at least three hours each night just staring at the moon, and survivors became regular. The longer he looked at the moon, the healthier they were when they returned. On the night when he only remembered to look at the moon right before it sank, the woman had survived but died of her wounds the way Issa had. He was definitely doing something to impact their survival, but what? And why?
Weeks passed, months passed, and he wondered where Arlen was. He had promised to find Jarl even if he had to come to the colony at night, but he hadn’t shown up and Jarl was starting to miss him fiercely. Ender had asked him again, as he had expected, and he had agreed, not knowing what else to do. They often went to look at the moon together
but sometimes Jarl had to wait until after they’d made love to go to the window and stare at the moon. Ender noticed how frequently he looked at the moon and commented on it once, but he had managed to avoid the topic.
Six months passed since the peace when he had met Arlen and Doss called him and all of the harvesters for the first meeting of their training. There were several youngsters with them to learn the routes in case something happened, but it seemed that they were going to allow Jarl to take his path as usual even if they were starting to train a replacement. It wasn’t a bad idea. They probably should have someone ready for all of the paths just in case. He wondered if he would see Arlen during the next peace. He ached for the creature and felt completely abandoned here. The nausea had never gone away, though he had stopped complaining about it. He accepted it. He had finally remembered that humans were like poison to the planet and he was likely responding to that. At times it was hard to remember that he was connected to the planet, since he didn’t feel any different except the song in his mind and the queasiness in his belly. Maybe the planet had abandoned him the same way Arlen had, and he would be doomed to live here forever.
The first day of training went well. He was sore, as he always was. They started slow with the training and Jarl had kept himself in shape the past six months, as he always did, but they needed to be in peak physical shape for the harvest and it was hard work getting there. He went to the window as he always did, knowing he needed to look at the moon for there to be survivors. Getting drawn into the woods was no longer a death sentence and people were becoming curious about it, not frightened. He needed to do his part to protect them.
“Did you miss me?” a deep voice said, and he jumped. He whirled, breath catching.
The tall, powerful shape was unmistakable and for a moment fear crashed over him at the sight of a creature so close, but this was Arlen. He wouldn’t hurt him. Couldn’t hurt him. He stood up slowly, turning to face Arlen. Arlen grinned and he pushed aside his fear at the sight of those fangs. Without another thought, he rushed the creature and flung himself into his arms, embracing him tightly. Arlen was here. Finally, after months and months of waiting and fearing and missing him, Arlen was here. He pulled back and slammed his fist into Arlen’s chest.
“Where have you been?” he cried, though he kept his voice down as he didn’t want anyone to hear.
“It’s not easy to get in,” Arlen said. “This is the first time I’ve been able, but I’ve been trying for quite a while.”
“But you’re safe, aren’t you?” Jarl asked, fear clenching his throat.
“As safe as I’ll ever be in a human colony,” he said with a laugh. “I suppose as safe as you were with me before you became part of our planet.”
“You’re not safe, then,” Jarl said. “You shouldn’t be here if you’re in danger.”
“Do you want me to leave?” Arlen asked, his lips curling as Jarl shook his head quickly.
“Don’t ever leave,” he said, pulling Arlen into another hug. “How long can you stay?”
“Perhaps an hour, perhaps less,” he said. “The moon is strong tonight and I’m protected, but I can’t risk too much. Still, I promised to visit you.”
“Thank you,” he whispered. “I’ve needed you.”
“You’ve found someone to replace me,” Arlen said, and Jarl blushed.
“How do you know about that?”
“You’re connected to our planet,” Arlen said with a chuckle. “And you look at the moon every night. You’re connected to the moon when you do that and if I’m looking at the moon at the same time as you, I can catch glimpses of how you’re doing.”
He blushed, feeling as if his privacy had been deeply invaded. He had felt the same when he realized Arlen was based on his dreams. The planet had little regard for privacy.
“No one else can do it,” Arlen added quickly, no doubt sensing his embarrassment and the sense of violation he felt. “You’re intended for me, so I’m connected to you. And also…”
His voice faded and he place a hand over Jarl’s heart, which skipped a beat. “We’re connected by more, now. I didn’t realize knowing you were with someone else would make me so angry, but it has. Is that part of love?”
“That’s jealousy,” Jarl said with a blush. So Arlen was jealous of Ender? Well, maybe if Arlen had been at his side all this time, he wouldn’t have turned to Ender. But he couldn’t blame Arlen. He didn’t want his creature putting himself in danger.
“Humans are surviving now,” Jarl said. “I’ve done what you wanted.”
“They’re surviving, but not on their own,” Arlen said slowly. “You realize you’re the one doing it, don’t you?”
Jarl looked away. “I suspected. They only survive when I’m looking at the moon. But I can’t stay here any longer. I want to be with you. I don’t ever want to leave you again.”
“Good, because I’m starving,” Arlen said with a chuckle, his hand still over his heart. Without a word, Jarl offered his love to him and he could feel Arlen feeding on him. “No body this time?” he teased, and Jarl laughed.
“Not in the middle of the colony. You’ll have to take me with you if you want more.”
“I do want more,” Arlen said as he drank in his love. “But you need to stay. You’re doing good things, but we need more. You’re still the only one who’s adapted to this planet, though the others are learning to survive.”
“The only time you can talk to us is during the peace, though,” Jarl pointed out. “Are you going to try again next year?”
“We’ll try,” Arlen said. He shut his eyes. “This is far more delicious than anything I’ve ever fed on. Does it feel good to you?”
Jarl grinned. “It feels-”
There was a crash and a shot rang out. Arlen flinched backwards, the contact between them snapping abruptly. Jarl looked in shock to see Ender in the entrance to the room, holding a gun.
“No,” he cried, then turned to see Arlen holding his side as the bullet fell from his body and the wound closed on its own. It was night; bullets couldn’t hurt the creatures.
“Jarl, come here,” Ender said in a low voice. “I’ll protect you from that thing.”
“Ender, you don’t understand,” Jarl said. He could hear his pulse in his ears, louder even than the song of the planet. What was he going to do? Others would hear the gun, he knew. Arlen needed to leave, now. He turned to Arlen.
“Get to safety. Don’t come back. I’ll see you at the peace,” he said softly, so Ender wouldn’t hear. Arlen darted to the window and vanished, and Jarl looked at Ender and wondered what he could possibly say.
“What was that creature doing here?” Ender demanded. “Why didn’t it kill you? Why didn’t it lure you? How did it get here?”
“Ender, I-”
“You made a deal with it, didn’t you?” Ender asked, voice full of shock. “Is that why we’re surviving now? You sold your soul to those demons and now they’re sparing us?”
Jarl paused and considered. That was essentially what had happened, after all. Would it be bad to let Ender think that?
“You can’t tell anyone,” he said, trying to figure out how to turn this to his advantage. “You have to promise me. If the others know, they’ll kill me and people will die again.”
Ender lowered the gun that he still held in the air. “You really made a pact with that thing?”
“Please, Ender,” he said. “Don’t tell anyone. You can’t.”
Ender looked stunned and then he heard the door burst open. Why hadn’t he heard the door when Ender entered? Ender came here often enough, but he had never given the man the key. Maybe he had left the door unlocked, he considered. That must have been it. People rarely locked their doors in the colony but he had been careful in case Arlen showed up. And the one night he did show up, Jarl had forgotten. He cursed himself, but couldn’t let Ender see his anger.
Five guards rushed in and filled the room, clearly looking for the cause of the g
unshot. They took Ender’s gun but obviously didn’t see him or Jarl as threats. The two of them were hustled out.
“What happened?” one of the guards asked them, and Jarl looked at Ender helplessly. Would he explain?
“It’s my fault,” Ender said after a long, soul-searching look at Jarl. “He was looking at the moon like he always does and I got frustrated he wasn’t looking at me, and I fired to get his attention.”
Jarl let out a breath and his tension faded.
“Why would you do such a thing?” the guard said, sounding more annoyed than angry. “We’ll have to confiscate your gun for a week, and you’ll need to attend a class on anger management. Should I put the two of you in couples counseling or can you work this out on your own?”
“We can work it out,” Jarl said quickly, not wanting to have to go to counseling with Ender and potentially expose what had just happened. “There’s nothing wrong with our relationship.”
He looked at Ender meaningfully as he said that, hoping Ender understood. Their relationship would continue as it had been. Even though seeing Arlen had filled him desire for the creature and lessened what he felt for Ender, he would still take Ender to bed because he owed Ender now. He would be willing to offer his body in payment for his silence.
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