by Ivy Jordan
I followed him to the couch, taking the seat beside him instead of the one alone in the chair. Liam noticed, his eyes lingering on mine as I scooted in close to Xander and rested my hand on his leg.
“Oh yes, you know how to treat a guest,” Liam chanted, grabbing his glass and holding it out for Xander.
I waited until he’d poured theirs, and then lifted mine for him to fill. Xander’s eyes looked apologetic as they skimmed mine quickly, but I couldn’t tell for sure. From what I could tell, he seemed very uncomfortable with my hand on his leg. His muscles were tensing and flexing, and he shifted in his seat several times before I finally moved it.
The guys toasted, including me just for good manners, and then started roaring about their times as SEALS.
“You wouldn’t believe how wild and crazy this guy was,” Liam said, his eyes directed on me.
“I probably would,” I chuckled, sipping on the whiskey Xander poured for me.
“One night, we all had a three day pass, and this guy decides to commandeer a tank,” Liam laughed hard from the belly as he paused.
“And wrecked it into the fence, fled the scene, and then was called on scene to investigate?” I finished his story.
Liam’s eyes widened.
“Wow, you’ve really opened up to this one,” Liam gasped.
He had no idea. We’d talked so much, that I felt as though I’d known Xander forever. I, literally, knew more about him than I did myself.
They continued to tell stories, some I’d heard, some I hadn’t. It was nice watching Xander smile and laugh and witness the closeness he had with his brothers. I knew that he wasn’t one to develop relationships with anyone other than his brothers, so I felt honored that he’d become so close to me. I only wished it could continue and that I didn’t have to leave.
“I’m getting tired,” I interjected into their endless reminiscing.
Xander looked as if he were struggling with what to do or say. He stood from the couch, extended his hand to mine, and smiled. I wanted to lean in to kiss him, to have him lean in to kiss me, but he just stood there. We both just stood there.
“Do you need anything?” he asked sweetly.
I shook my head. I needed him.
“We won’t keep you up, will we?” Liam asked.
“No. I’m just going to lay down for a little bit. I probably won’t sleep anyway,” I responded.
It was still early, but I couldn’t sit there so close to Xander without touching him any longer.
Xander smiled, released my hand, and let me head over to the bed without his assistance. I’d hoped he would at least come over and tuck me in with a kiss away from Liam’s sight, but it was obvious he was being cautious around his friend.
I curled up in the bed, snuggled in the blankets that still carried Xander’s scent, and closed my eyes.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, but it felt good to rest. I guess I’d need all the rest I could get. If Liam had his way, I’d be making that long trip down the mountain side real soon.
Chapter Seventeen
Xander
Bailey was acting strange. I was aware that I was being distant, but I wasn’t ready to deal with Liam’s judgement of the situation. I knew he’d tell me exactly what I was already feeling: it was wrong, I was taking advantage of her, and that I knew better. I did know better, but I couldn’t explain it. She done something to me, something different, something I truly loved.
“So, she’s all healed?” Liam asked, leaning in to keep his voice low.
Bailey had been in bed for a couple hours, maybe more. Hell, we’d finished the rest of that bottle of whiskey over an hour ago. I hadn’t seen her move in a while, and I assumed she was sleeping, but I still didn’t want to chance talking about her too loudly.
“Almost,” I responded, not wanting to admit I thought she could make it down the mountain.
“So, nothing was broken then?” Liam pushed.
I shook my head. “Just sprained and bruised pretty badly.”
“Can we talk?” Liam asked, his tone turning serious.
Liam was always the philosopher in the group, the one who analyzed everything to death. I knew he’d already analyzed this situation, and he had plenty to say. I wasn’t looking forward to hearing it, but I certainly didn’t want Bailey to hear it.
“I need to get some more fire wood. You wanna come out and help me split some logs?” I suggested.
Liam agreed, standing from the couch and grabbing his coat and gloves. When I stood, I was a little tipsy, not accustomed to drinking that much anymore.
“Let me get dressed,” I excused myself, moving over towards the bed.
I picked up my jeans, a flannel, and my gloves that were on the ground, careful not to wake Bailey.
The blanket was pulled up, just to her shoulders. That sweet part of her neck was peeking out, and it took everything I had to refrain from pressing my lips against it. Liam was standing by the door, already wrapped up and ready for the cold, so I quickly slipped into the bathroom, changed clothes, and followed him outside.
I had enough wood split to last for a week, but I grabbed two more logs and stood them on the stump.
“So things have been going okay?” Liam asked.
I picked up the axe and swung down hard on the log, splitting it halfway through with the single hit.
“Things have been great,” I replied, not making eye contact with my friend.
“You two seem pretty cozy,” he added with a chuckle.
I looked up, resting the axe by my side and sighed. I knew where this was going, and even though I wasn’t ready for his warnings or advice, there was no stopping it. I knew that.
“It’s been nice having company,” I admitted.
“Has it?” he questioned.
“Yeah,” I smiled.
“That’s just so unlike you. I mean, hell, you came out here in the middle of nowhere to be alone,” he pointed out.
“True,” I sighed.
“So, this girl, she’s got a hold on you?” he hesitated.
I took another swing with the axe, splitting the log all the way through. I wasn’t sure how to answer his question, or if I even wanted to answer it. I leaned down, picked up the split pieces, and tossed them on the pile.
“Xander, have you two been sleeping together?” Liam asked.
I stood up, stared at my friend, and felt the blood rushing from my face. He knew me, almost too well, and lying to him was useless.
“We have,” I admitted.
Liam’s head dropped, and a deep sigh rolled from his mouth. When he looked back up at me, his eyes were filled with concern.
“She doesn’t even know who she is,” he pointed out.
“I’m aware of that. You can’t tell me anything I don’t already know. It’s wrong, it’s stupid, yeah, I’ve already beat myself up. But there is something about her, something I can’t explain,” I rattled.
“What happens when she leaves, when she remembers?” Liam asked the question that had already gnawed a hole in my soul.
I shrugged, picking up another log and placing it on the stump. As I started to lift the axe, Liam gripped my arm, pulling it down to my side.
“Xander, I’m serious,” he warned.
“I get it. She’s going to remember, and she’s going to leave. I’ve already came to terms with that,” I lied.
“What about her? Will she be able to come to terms with it?” he asked.
I stared into Liam’s eyes, trying to find the response he was looking for, but came up empty. I hadn’t thought about how it would affect Bailey. I just assumed she’d be the one to take off, not look back, and be fine. I was the one that would be left alone, left to shake off the feelings I’d developed for her.
“I mean, don’t you think it’s weird that she doesn’t even want to go home?” Liam questioned.
“Well, she doesn’t know what she’s going home to,” I defended.
Liam was silent for a momen
t, shifting his feet in the deep snow. I watched as he lifted his eyes to mine, dark and distant. There was something he wanted to say; that was obvious by his body language.
“Maybe she does know what she’s going home to, and that’s why she’s avoiding it,” Liam uttered.
“What do you mean?” I queried.
“Well, she hasn’t made any attempt to get help, didn’t seem even slightly interested in the information I had, or didn’t have, and she said she hasn’t remembered anything. I mean, c’mon, she would have remembered something. She didn’t hit her head that fucking hard,” he accused.
“She wouldn’t lie to me about that,” I snapped.
“Really, because you know her so well?” Liam snarled.
He was right. I didn’t know her that well. But he wasn’t right about her lying. Bailey was sweet, innocent, and different from any woman I’d ever met. What we shared was real, wasn’t it?
“Why else would she not be interested in going home, or at least finding out where home is?” Liam pushed.
“We’ve become pretty close, so maybe she’s just afraid of leaving me,” I suggested.
“So she’s staying here for sex?” Liam chuckled sarcastically.
“It’s more than sex,” I grunted.
Liam’s stopped half-snort, looking up at me with a surprised expression.
“More? What do you mean?” he asked.
I didn’t answer. I lifted my axe and dropped it down hard on the thick log, splitting it in two with one hit. I picked up the pieces, tossed them towards the pile, and then felt Liam’s hand grip my arm tightly, pulling me back towards him.
“You have real feelings for this woman?” he questioned.
As I struggled to find the words to respond, I realized that yes, I did have real feelings for Bailey. I hated the thought of her leaving me, and a part of me wished she could stay forever. It was ridiculous, I knew that. I mean, what the fuck? She didn’t know who the hell she was, so how would she have any idea of what she wanted? Fuck, this is why I should’ve followed my gut, and never let things get to this point in the first place.
Liam’s eyes were burning through mine, and it was obvious he had his answer without me uttering a word.
“Buddy, what the fuck?” he gasped.
I dropped to the log below me, sitting before my legs gave out from under me. What had I done?
“She’s different,” I sighed.
“You’ve really fallen for this girl, haven’t ya?” Liam asked, sitting beside me.
His arm wrapped over my shoulder as he pulled me towards him for a side hug. It was good to get my emotions out in the open and off my chest. For the last few days I’d had that chest-caving feeling that nearly took my breath away, and I knew it was the feelings I had for Bailey that I was trying to bury.
“How’s she been with your nightmares?” Liam asked.
I looked up, surprised that he mentioned the nightmares, that he knew about them at all.
“I’ve stayed with you before, trust me, I know how rough your nights can be,” Liam offered, patting me on the back gently.
“At first, they were still here, every night,” I sighed.
“And now?” Liam pushed.
“Well, since I’ve stayed in the bed with her at night, holding her, they’ve been gone,” I smiled.
Liam grinned, squeezing me towards him and let out a joyous laugh.
“Well, that’s amazing. So, now maybe you’ll be ready to find a good woman,” he smiled.
I already had a good woman. I had the best woman. I had Bailey.
Chapter Eighteen
Bailey
My neck ached as it stretched up to peer out the window. The glass was iced over, allowing me only to see the shadows of Liam and Xander outside. I knew Xander had chopped wood on several occasions, and there was no real reason for them to be out there other than for a private conversation. What were they talking about? Me, of course. Liam was probably telling Xander how I needed to leave, to get home to whoever was looking for me, and to go on with my life.
Something in my life wasn’t good; that’s all I knew at this point. I still hadn’t talked to Xander about the vague memories I’d had or the feeling of sadness that surrounded me with those memories.
Maybe there was a reason I was out in the woods alone, a reason why I forgot and haven’t been eager to remember.
I pushed my head back down onto the pillow as the door opened, trying to appear to still be sleeping.
“Thanks, buddy,” I heard Xander say, causing me to become even more curious about their talk.
I hated Liam being there, interrupting our time together. I knew the snow would eventually clear, and I’d have to leave, but I still had time alone with Xander, at least I did until Liam arrived.
I laid still, silent, and just listened to the guys as they whispered to one another. Finally, I heard Liam say he was tired and mentioned napping in front of the fire. I closed my eyes tightly, waited patiently, and after about thirty minutes, snores filled the small cabin.
“You awake?” I turned to Xander, who was whispering in my ear.
His eyes were bright blue, the light of the sun bursting in through the window created a glow around his sandy blonde hair, and his image reminded me of the ones on the covers of the romance novels shoved under his bed.
I leaned up, without saying a word, and kissed him gently on the mouth. As I started to pull away, to relax back on my pillow, his strong hand gripped the back of my head, pulling me back towards his lips.
My body fell limp in his arms as our tongues stroked against one another. That sweet burning tingle between my legs returned from where it was abandoned earlier that morning. The same intensity fueled my desire for Xander, and even though Liam was just a few feet away, I wanted him to take me, right then, right there.
“I need you,” I gasped, pulling from his kiss.
His eyes filled with excitement, but then quickly faded to concern. I watched as he glanced over towards the chair where Liam slept.
“I need you too, but…” he hesitated.
My blood boiled. Liam was here, and he obviously was going nowhere until he could drag me down the mountain with him, so this was it? I couldn’t spend my last days with Xander wrapped in his arms?
“I’ll be quiet,” I promised, pushing my bottom lip out to pout.
Xander chuckled, shaking his head in amusement as his eyes danced on mine.
“We both know that’s a lie,” he laughed.
My cheeks burnt with embarrassment at the reality I’d howled as loudly as the wolves outside the cabin when we’d been together.
“We were alone then. I can be quiet,” I assured him.
My hand reached down between his legs, rubbing against his crotch as he let out a deep growl.
“Now who can’t be quiet?” I giggled.
I squirmed under the covers, arching my back and exposing my t-shirt covered breasts to Xander’s hungry eyes. He growled again, this time deeper, a little slower, and with more hunger.
“We could go take a shower,” I suggested with a smile.
“We’ll wake him,” Xander groaned.
I didn’t care about waking Liam. I wanted Xander. I needed Xander.
My hand rubbed against the denim of his jeans, his cock beneath growing quickly. I watched as his eyes closed, his head fell behind his shoulders, and his lips parted. It was obvious he wanted me too, that he needed me.
“We never got to finish what we started this morning,” I flirted.
His eyes opened and stared down on me with desire. He let his hand drop to the bed, slowly sliding beneath the blanket to my warm body. The pressure of his palm on my belly made me squirm, and as his fingers stretched out, lowering to my panty line, I started to moan.
A snap of the waist band, and Xander’s hand was in my pants, between my legs, and running against my swollen pussy. I grinded against him, trying to halt my moans and groans, but some escaped, even with tight
ly clasped lips.
A finger slid inside of me, spreading my folds apart as it thrust deep into my cunt. I worked quickly to open his jeans, unleashing the hardened cock that I craved into my hand. My mouth watered as the smooth skin of his manhood slid through my palm. My fingers clasped tightly around him, stroking his cock with the same rhythm he plunged his finger into me.
My arousal washed around his finger as he slid another one inside. Pre-cum dripped from the tip of his cock, lubricating my fingers for a steadier stroke. We were both enthralled in our motions, lost in ecstasy, and oblivious to anything, or anyone around us, including Liam.
Xander’s thumb pressed against my clit, creating friction as he pushed into me with his fingers. My body twitched, quivered, and then began to throb as my orgasm was impending.
My eyes opened, staring up at Xander. I loved that he watched me, soaking in the satisfaction he was giving me, loving every second.
Moans rolled from my throat as my body tensed and released, my pussy muscles squeezed hard against his fingers, and my fingers clasped hard around his cock. I stroked hard, fast, loving the sensation of his thick cock in my small hand.
Xander leaned down, placing his hand over my mouth to quiet me as my orgasm exploded onto his hand. His eyes smiled, and his lips curled as I bit into the flesh of his hand for one last moan.
His body tensed, and with a low controlled grunt, and few twitches of his cock, my hand was covered in the slippery reward of his cum.
My breathing was rapid and sporadic as my hand released his exhausted cock. My pussy throbbed, surprisingly satisfied by our mutual masturbation.
Xander leaned down, kissing me on the forehead, and then on the lips. I could taste the whiskey he’d shared with Liam on his tongue, reminding me of our first kiss. I hoped this wouldn’t be our last.
“I’m going to make some lunch,” Xander excused himself.
I fell against the soft pillow and stared up at the wood ceiling. I could see my house more clearly now when I closed my eyes. The yellow wallpaper kitchen, the front porch with two white rocking chairs, and even my room, a flowered bedspread and twin bed with a white frame. Was that where I still lived?
