by Ivy Jordan
I sighed, “What do you have in mind?” I was becoming very irritated with Aria. She was asking more than what I was willing to give. I didn’t need the additional stress of pleasing my sponsors so close to the majors.
They usually stood in the background and didn’t bother me. Now they were breathing down my neck, even when I was doing well. I couldn’t imagine what she had in mind that she thought would help me, but it didn’t appear as if I would have a choice in the matter. I would be discussing things with my father, however, to make sure he didn’t think that they were taking things a little far. Though, he loved my new attitude about life, so he probably would agree with anything Aria suggested.
“I was thinking about having you meet with someone to talk through your issues regarding the majors.”
“I don’t have issues, Aria.”
She smiled sweetly. “I’m not suggesting that you do. But it is a problem that you have had every year. Maybe it’s something that you can talk about with a professional and work through it. Then when you get to the majors, it’s not something that you have to worry about.”
“I see.”
“Look, Caleb, we wouldn’t even be going through all this effort if we didn’t like you. We truly believe in your talents as a golf player, and we think we can help you – if you will just let us help you.”
“Okay, fine, Aria, whatever you want.”
“Great, I will set up an appointment for this afternoon if you aren’t busy and you can get started.”
“Wonderful. Do you mind if I go grab a coffee first?”
“Of course, go ahead. I will text you the information.”
I left the office without another word. I didn’t need to get into anything else. I headed out of the building, not even saying goodbye to Lisa, even though she waved at me. I was beyond annoyed and couldn’t even think straight.
I couldn’t believe they are sending me to a sports psychiatrist. It’s not like I was nuts. I didn’t have any issues that needed to be worked out. The whole thing was ridiculous. But if that’s what I needed to do in order to get what I wanted, then I would do it. It was important to keep Aria happy. The majors weren’t that far off, and I needed to focus and get it done.
I walked across the street and into a coffee shop. I was going to need all the help I could get in order to get through that session. It was best just to get it over with as soon as possible.
With coffee in hand, I walked into the building where the sports psychiatrist was located. Aria had texted me the address of a Dr. Wayne Brentwood, whose office was only down the block from Under Armour. I was looking forward to getting the session over with and going to have a drink. When I got to the reception area, I took a seat and waited. About ten minutes passed before the receptionist came out and motioned me to go with her. I followed her down a long hallway, where she opened a door.
“Your two o’clock is here, Dr. Brentwood.”
“Thank you, Patricia.”
I stood there awkwardly as she left the room.
“Please have a seat, Caleb.”
I was relieved to not see a black leather couch in the room. I didn’t have any intention of lying down and crying about all my imaginary problems. There was what could be considered a loveseat, and I went to sit on it. Sit. Not lay down.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Caleb. I’ve been watching your career for years and was pleased when Aria called and told me you wanted to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk. She forced me to come here.”
He chuckled. “I see. Well, fair enough. Let’s dig right in, then, and hopefully, we can find a solution to what makes you choke during the majors.”
I shifted uncomfortably. I hated talking about it; it was something that embarrassed me immensely, and I loathed the idea that I would have to discuss it with a doctor. “Okay.”
“So, Caleb, explain to me what happens when you choke up. Is it always at the same time? Is there something you think about that gets you wired?”
I thought back to the last time it happened. It was a terrible feeling. It was like all the pressure just built up like a volcano. Instead of bursting in a good way, however, and allowing me to win, it instead kept me frozen in the spot until I was forced to act. The result was always the most terrible shot I could ever make. It was so embarrassing.
“It’s hard to explain... There isn’t a particular thing that happens. I think it’s just a fear of failure that overtakes me, to the point where I can’t even think of a great shot. I just do the stupidest thing possible, which causes me to lose. It’s always as if I’m trying to lose, but I’m not. I swear, I really want this badly.”
“Oh, I believe you, Caleb. I don’t think that you would be going through all this if you didn’t want it badly.”
“It’s such a rookie move. I don’t know why I do it.”
“It can happen for a lot of reasons. It’s certainly a lot of pressure. If I were to guess, I would think the pressure gets to you. Some people thrive on pressure, while others will crumble underneath the weight of it. In your case, I think you have way more than you need, more than your fair share. I think when it counts, it’s easier to give up than to power through all that pressure.”
I nodded. I always believed the pressure was what got to me. But how do you fight something like that? It was more than I could stand sometimes. I didn’t have a chance against it. It’s not like the majors were going to suddenly become less stressful.
“So, how do I stop the pressure? It’s not like it’s just going to go away.”
“No, it’s not, but there are ways around that. You need to erase the pressure from your mind. It can’t be something you think about during the majors, at all. That’s how you get tripped up.”
I flung my hands in the air. “Are you kidding me? How am I supposed to do that? I can’t think of anything else but everyone’s expectations around me. I swear to God, I think my dad will disown me if I lose again.”
“Well, that’s not fair to you. You deal with enough pressure just as an athlete without worrying about your dad.”
“Yeah, well. Story of my life.”
“I would suggest you think about something else while at the majors. The goal here is to get you to focus on that other thing before the majors so that by the time you get there, you know how to focus your energy and mind on something positive, instead of something negative, like all that pressure.”
“Like what? It’s hard to focus on anything but all that fucking pressure that I have around me.”
“I know, Caleb, but you must try. Why don’t you focus on your new girlfriend? She is a very pretty girl. Or how about a reward that you can give yourself when you win? Like a new house or a car that you want. A reward is a great way to get you to focus on your goals, to give you something to work towards.”
“You really think it’s that easy? That I could just think of something else and it will all be okay?”
“Don’t underestimate the power of the mind, Caleb. For one thing, it’s not easy to ignore massive amounts of pressure. Focusing your mind on something else is going to take some time because it’s natural for people to focus on the negative. It’s much harder to focus on positive things during a stressful time.”
“So, what do you suggest?”
“I want you to think about something that makes you happy. Make it a daily event where you sort of meditate on this thing that makes you happy. Don’t let anything distract you from this feeling. Hopefully, by the time the majors come around, you will be used to thinking about the thing that makes you happy. That way, when things start to get stressful, you can quickly focus on something good.”
I nodded. I wasn’t sure if it was really going to work, but I was willing to try anything at that point.
“Okay, I’m willing to try. Thank you for your time. I guess I will see you next time.”
Dr. Brentwood nodded. “Find something that makes you happy, Caleb.”
“Okay.” I walked out of the office
feeling at least a little bit better about things. Maybe there was a way that I could turn things around, erase the pressure that tried to suffocate me.
Just then my phone went off, and I pulled it out to check it. It was my father sending me an invite to an event that night. I looked at it with interest and an idea formed in my mind. I looked in my contacts until I found Hailey’s number. I clicked on it to call her and waited.
“Hello, Caleb. How are you?”
“I’m great. I was wondering if you were free tonight?”
“Sure, what do you have in mind?”
“Well, I just got an invite to a movie opening tonight from my father. He’s actually very good friends with the director of the movie. That sounded like something that would be right up your alley, and it would be a lot of fun. Obviously, there would be a ton of cool people for you to meet there, and I would be willing to introduce you to some of them. You never know, it might be open a few doors for you. Do you want to come meet me?”
“Oh my God, are you serious? I would love to go. That would be a dream come true.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it; her passion was contagious.
“Don’t laugh. You have no idea how amazing this is. Thank you. I’m thrilled to go.”
“Oh, it’s my pleasure. Dress in something nice, and I’ll meet you later.”
She hung up the phone, and I smiled down at it. The idea of helping Hailey’s career warmed me up. I needed to head to my apartment, so I could change as well.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Hailey
I felt jittery. Caleb had arranged for us to have a limousine take us to the movie opening, and I was shaking the entire ride over. I couldn’t believe that I was going to an actual movie opening. It was beyond wonderful. I had dreamed of going to an opening my whole life. I would rather it be my own opening, but it was a step in the right direction. I had stressed about what to wear for a full hour before I went to meet Caleb. Mandy had to tell me to calm down the entire time.
I couldn’t wait to meet some celebrities, and most especially, the director of the movie. There was a big chance that this could open some doors for me, and that would certainly help my stalled career.
“Are you sure I look okay?” I asked him.
He glanced at me from across the limo. We were having a strong drink before we got there because my nerves were shot. I had asked him multiple times if I was dressed appropriately for the event. I was wearing a black cocktail dress that hugged by body nicely, but it would be nothing compared to what everyone else would be wearing to the event. Caleb was wearing a suit and had never looked more handsome.
“Hailey, you need to relax. You look stunning.”
I smiled, “Thank you.”
The butterflies attacked my stomach again when the limo pulled to a stop. We had arrived, and I wasn’t sure that I could stand all the excitement. It was insanity that I was there. I couldn’t wait to go home and tell Mandy all about it.
The door opened, and Caleb said, “The show’s on; it’s time to go.”
I stepped out of the car and was immediately stunned by all the flashing cameras. It didn’t matter who you were, if you were walking the red carpet into the event, then you were getting your picture taken. The paparazzi assumed that if you were invited to the event, you must be someone important.
I was shaking like a leaf. I knew it was foolish, but I was so nervous and worried that I would make an idiot of myself and ruin everything. Caleb put his arm around my waist and suddenly, my body stilled, and I looked up at him. He smiled down at me and ushered me down the red carpet. Pictures were being taken everywhere and being in front of a crowd was very overwhelming.
So, this is what it is like to be walking the red carpet. My heart was beating fast, and I couldn’t keep the grin off my face. I was so happy to be there with Caleb; it was overwhelming, but I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else.
Caleb approached a guy, and when he turned around, he smiled widely.
“Caleb, I’m so glad you’re here. Your father mentioned you might come. Do you like horror movies?”
“Of course, I’ve been waiting for this one to come out. It looks terrifying.”
“That’s what I like to hear. I hope you enjoy it.”
“I’m sure I will.” He turned to me and said. “Rick, this is my girl, Hailey. She’s actually very interested in the industry; she’s an actress. Hailey, this is Rick Bendell, the producer of the film.
I swear I almost died. I am actually meeting a producer?
Rick smiled warmly at me. “Hailey, what a great name. So, you want to be part of all this one day, Hailey?”
I smiled, “Absolutely.”
“Well, we are always looking for fresh faces. Have Caleb send over your comp card, and I will take a look at it.”
“Gosh, that would be amazing. Thank you.”
“Do you have an agent?”
“Yes, I do. Her name is Jillian Davis. She’s in Georgia right now, but is moving to LA soon.”
“Ah yes, Jillian. I know her.”
“Oh, do you?” I said with interest. This was getting better by the minute. I looked at Caleb and saw he was smiling at me. I could have kissed him.
“Absolutely. I will put in a call. We are about to do a new movie about a professor and his many scandalous affairs. It’s a great script, and I think you would do well in it. You like a good scandal, don’t you?”
I giggled, “Who doesn’t?”
“Great.”
“Are there any sex scenes?”
“Nope, nothing like that.”
“That’s even better. I’m in; please do give me a call.”
He laughed, “Perfect. I will discuss things with Jillian and maybe get you in for an audition.”
“Oh my God. You are amazing.”
He laughed. “I know. I hope you both enjoy the movie.”
“It was a pleasure meeting you,” I said. Rick was so nice, and he obviously liked me. I couldn’t believe my comp card was going straight to a producer. I didn’t have to wait for some assistant to look it over first. I was going to the top guy; it was all a little too much to handle. I could get an audition for a big budget movie; I couldn’t even believe what I was hearing. It was a dream come true.
I would probably give Caleb my comp card that very night – I wouldn’t be able to wait. I would probably wait by the phone for the call about my audition. I planned on texting Jillian to give her some heads up so she could follow up with Rick, to make sure he didn’t forget.
“Are you okay?” Caleb said with a smile on his face.
“I might pass out.”
He laughed, “It’s that good, right? So, you don’t do sex scenes?”
“Nope. I don’t do nude scenes, either. I’m going to be the next Julia Roberts.”
He laughed, “You’re such a good girl.”
I stuck my tongue out at him. “Of course, I am. My naked body is just for the man in my life.”
He nodded staring at me in a strange way. Sometimes, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I just didn’t know him well enough then.
“Well, shall we?”
“Yes, of course. Let’s go. I may snuggle into you during the movie, though. I’m not great with horror movies.”
“You can snuggle into me anytime you want to.”
He took my hand and led me into the theater, where everyone was getting settled to watch the movie. We found the row we were in and walked down it until we found our seats. I sat down my heart still beating a mile a minute. We were only there a few minutes when the lights dimmed and the movie started. It must be so exciting to be the actors of the movie, watching all their hard work happen right before their eyes.
“It’s so thrilling.”
He grasped my hand in his and held it while the movie played. I immediately snuggled close to him without thinking. I didn’t really care; I just wanted to be close to him. I couldn’t believe that he had brought me there, th
at he had thought of me when he was invited to the event. It was very sweet. My career could have changed overnight because of his kindness, and that made me forever grateful to him.
I couldn’t wait to go home and tell Mandy what Rick had said to me. I was so excited about the audition that I wished it were tomorrow. I moved in closer to Caleb, and I rested my excited head on his shoulder and watched the movie.
When the movie was over, we made our way out of the theater. The movie had been amazing, and there were many congratulations going on. We approached a few of the actors. Ryan Reynolds was there, and so was Jennifer Lawrence, and we said hi to them both, congratulating them on a great performance. The last time I had seen Ryan Reynolds in a horror movie had been Amityville Horror. I was completely star struck when I met the two of them, but they were both very gracious, and Ryan was always joking, so it was easy to be comfortable around him.
My heart never stopped beating hard the entire time that I was there. I couldn’t believe what was happening around me. All I knew was that I had never been happier. All the doubts I had about my career had been erased in seconds as soon as I got to the event. I never wanted to be an actress more than I did right there at that moment.
The event was starting to wrap up, and people were getting into their limos. I saw Rick leaving, and he waved to us. My grin was plastered all over my face once again. Caleb helped me back into the limo, and I immediately made us both a drink. My nerves were all over the place, and I just wanted something to help me relax on the way home. I handed Caleb his drink when he got into the limo.
“Oh, thanks.”
“No, thank you for taking me. I can’t thank you enough. I had an amazing time.”
“I wouldn’t have thought that, considering all the times you jumped in the theater.”
I laughed, “Hey! That’s not fair; it was really scary.”
“I’ll get the limo to drop you off at the apartment before I go home.”
I nodded, but couldn’t help but wish that I was going home with him. I was still so excited about the event that I wanted to continue the evening. Actually, I wanted to be with him for more than that. I wanted to spend the night with him again. It had been on my mind a lot lately. I knew he was trying to stay on the straight and narrow, though, so I didn’t want to push it if it wasn’t something that he wanted. I was sure that if he really wanted me at the house, he would ask me to be there for him. I didn’t want to hear him tell me no, so I wasn’t going to ask him if I could go with him.
