Color rushed into her mother’s cheeks and tears suddenly filled her eyes. She looked down to her hands clenched tightly together in her lap and nodded. “I didn’t know what else to do.” She looked up, her gaze pleading. “Tanya doesn’t know anything. I promise.”
“I really don’t know what to say, Mum.” Sasha’s face burned with hurt and disappointment. “How could you—”
Her mother snapped her head up and stared deep into Sasha’s eyes. “You have to understand...and when you have children of your own one day, I hope you will. I was never sure that man did anything to you until I was talking to a few of the mums at the supermarket one day. You were in school and doing well, but there was something different about you after the summer. You seemed...older, more mature. Funland became a mission to you rather than a place you enjoyed. It consumed you, and while your grandfather was excited about your determination to make it yours, I was scared by it.”
Sasha stared as memories crashed and burned inside her. How could she deny the shift from childhood excitement to unadulterated hunger hadn’t ignited inside her once Matt Davidson disappeared? How could she lie and say the place hadn’t felt tainted and dirty after those three short days? That it became her entire life’s purpose to make Funland clean again. To make it hers so she could repaint and replenish it to its former glory...before him?
She swallowed. “So what happened? Did you know Matt Davidson?”
Her mother clutched Sasha’s hand, making her flinch. Her gaze darted over Sasha’s face, her face a mask of fury. “My God, do you think if I knew the man, knew where he was, I wouldn’t have tracked him down and made him pay for what he did to you and those other young girls? By the time I knew the truth, it was too late. I found out what had happened years after. I just wanted to move away, take you and your sister far away, where you could be safe and forget Funland ever existed.” A lone tear slipped down her cheek, and she lifted her hand to cup Sasha’s jaw. “But how could I do that when you were so determined to stay? To work with Granddad every day as though your entire life depended on it?”
“Did you give Kyle Matt Davidson’s name?”
Her mother nodded.
Tears clogged Sasha’s throat and pain mixed with anger...for him...for her mother. “But you weren’t sure and you told Kyle anyway. Worse...” Sasha trembled and lifted her mother’s hand from her face. “You thought telling Granddad was the right thing to do. How could you do that?”
“I had to.” Her mother’s eyes darkened with determination. “Once I found out Kyle wanted the fair, I was prepared to do anything to ensure he had it. The place reeked with filth so why not let Kyle run it into the ground where it belonged?”
Sasha’s heart picked up speed. “I love Funland. So did Granddad. It wasn’t Funland that molested me, it was one animal. One man among a million good. You had no right to tell Granddad. How do you know it wasn’t that knowledge that broke his damn heart?” She pushed to her feet and whirled away from the sofa—from her mother. She glared through the open window at the deserted street below. “This is all your fault. Everything that I’ve worked so hard to call my own could now be out of reach forever.” She turned around. “If Kyle’s son doesn’t sell me Funland, I’ll never forgive you.”
Her mother stood and came toward her, her hand outstretched. Sasha stiffened and her mother pushed her hand into her hair and held it there. “I did what I thought was best. It was hard for me, too, Sasha. Hard for me to see you lose weight and buckle under so much determination to learn the fair from the ground up, to see you work for Kyle when he knew...” Her mother closed her eyes. “It was hard and I couldn’t watch anymore. I had to leave even if you didn’t come with me.”
Sasha fought the burn in her eyes and crossed her arms. “So you told Kyle the information he needed to ensure Granddad never wanted me to have anything to do with the place. You told Kyle and accepted money.”
Her mother opened her eyes. “Money I could use to set us up somewhere new. Why can’t you see I did this for—”
“For you, Mum. You did this for you.”
Unable to stand another minute looking into her mother’s pleading eyes, Sasha stormed toward the door and yanked it open. With a final glance at her mother, she marched from the apartment and jogged to the elevator. She punched the call button, praying for its speedy arrival.
Her mother’s apartment door clicked open behind her. “Sasha, please. Come back in, we have to talk about this.”
The elevator doors slid open, and Sasha rushed inside, her finger shaking as she pressed the button for the ground floor.
“Sasha, wait. Please.”
The doors slid closed and her mother’s desperate face disappeared. Sasha slumped against the back wall, covered her face with her hands and cried.
* * *
THE PAST FORTY-FIVE minutes and thirty-two seconds would go down as the longest of John’s life. He’d drank one painfully inadequate espresso and scanned enough of a tabloid newspaper to keep him up on celebrity nonsense for the next twelve months. Who gave a crap who was marrying whom or sleeping with whom when the woman you were falling in love with was about to confront her mother about a fifteen-year-old hurt that lingered on her heart like a bruise?
He stared out his windshield. He was falling in love. The notion was unexpected...yet entirely welcome. A lonely life waited for him back in Bridgewater, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to return. Meeting Sasha had taught him all the years he’d thought he’d been avoiding getting involved with a woman hadn’t been that at all.
He’d simply been waiting for the right woman to come along. The beat of his heart and the roar of love in his veins told him Sasha could be “The One.” The one to provide good times and laughter in his life. What if together they could have a future full of promise rather than carrying the endless weight of resentment toward parents who’d made dire mistakes?
At last, he realized his anger toward Kyle served no purpose. John exhaled a breath. Whereas being with Sasha served every purpose he could think of. They understood each other and cared for one another. The heat between them was undeniable, and the need to learn more about her likes and loves, dreams and wishes, burned hot inside him.
He glanced at his watch and hissed out a breath from between clenched teeth. He’d promised her he’d wait for her call and not come looking for her. He closed his eyes. God, it was killing him not to get out of the car and make sure she was okay.
The moment she opened up to him about her past, everything changed. An avalanche of emotion consumed him and burst into his blood on a tidal wave.
What happened to her had made her fight to hold on to the possibility of turning something ugly into something pretty for the future hordes of kids who came to Funland looking for a good time. His past made him bitter and full of hatred toward Kyle, a man who hadn’t given his son a second thought until he needed him for his own means. To make his narcissistic choices seem worthwhile.
The seconds passed like minutes as John tapped out his impatience on the steering wheel. He’d promised Sasha he wouldn’t even enter her mother’s street, let alone knock on her door. His foot bounced against the car mat as he waited in the street around the corner, fighting every instinct to seek out his lover.
Who was the faceless piece of shit who hurt her? Who stole a young girl’s innocence and then disappeared? The heavy, throbbing weight of revenge flowed through his veins. For the first time in forever, John’s vengeance was concentrated on a man who might still roam the streets, preying on other innocent young girls, rather than for a man who would soon lose his life to cancer.
He drew in a shaky breath.
Deep inside, he sensed it was important to be what Sasha needed right now and not take the yearned-for steps toward tracking the bastard who’d hurt her and make him pay. At least not yet. He couldn’t leave her so he could scour the country and exact justice when there was such pain in her eyes, or a tremble in her lips when he kissed her.
> He would have to bide his time.
He tightened his jaw. What would his father do in this moment? Hadn’t Kyle taken a gun and shot the man who’d killed his mother?
John shook his head. He wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t kill Sasha’s abuser and leave her alone to deal with the aftermath. Together, they’d find him. They’d make DI Garrett and the police help them every step of the way...and then John would be with her as Sasha’s pain was put to rest forever.
Memories flowed, and John closed his eyes. Images of his father lifting his mother from her feet to swing her around in circles during a rain shower, while his six-year-old self laughed until he cried in the shelter of their garden porch. Another time, John had climbed from his bed and crept downstairs...only to peer into the living room and see his father massaging his mother’s feet, the light of flickering candles dancing across her smiling face....
John swallowed back the sting of tears and angrily swiped his hand over his face. No. He wouldn’t do this. He wouldn’t justify a moment of Kyle’s existence. Especially when it was Kyle’s actions that brought a pile of pain between him and Sasha.
She came around the corner, her frame rigid and strong as she jogged toward the car. He yanked on the door handle and got out of the car. He hurried toward her, and when she fell into his arms, he held her tight. She fit in the circle of his arms like a child. Her sobs were harsh and raw, racking her body.
“Shh, it’s all right,” he murmured against her hair. “I’ve got you. It’s all right.”
“She did it, John. She took Kyle’s money.”
His mind raced as he glared over her head toward the street from where she’d emerged. “Did she tell you what she told him?”
She pulled back from his arms, her fingers clinging tightly to his biceps. “She told him who hurt me.”
He frowned. “I thought you never told her what happened to you.”
“I didn’t. She guessed. She even guessed who was responsible.” She closed her eyes. “She said when I was a mother, I’d understand.”
“So why the hell didn’t she ask you about it?”
“She tried.” She opened her eyes. “I realize now the times she attempted to get me to open up about it. I can see what she tried to do. You have to understand how I shut down. I didn’t want anyone to know. I pushed her away and I held it all in. It was the only way I could get through it. I wanted to pretend it didn’t happen.”
The pain in her eyes tore at John’s heart, and he pulled her to him, kissing her forehead.
She shook her head. “She knew who he was.”
He glanced toward her mother’s street once more, his pulse thumping in his temple. “Did she confront him?”
“No.”
“I don’t believe this.”
“John, look at me.” She swiped the tears from her cheeks. “My family... We’ve never been close. Mum, Dad and Tanya wanted so much more than Templeton could ever give them.” She shook her head. “Whereas Granddad and I had everything we needed right here. I’ve never felt connected to my mum, not ever. This was a wall so thick neither of us stood a chance of breaking it down.”
His mind raced with thoughts of a mother who’d been there but in reality abandoned her daughter in no different way than Kyle had done to him. Revulsion crawled over his skin. “How in God’s name did this lead her to take money from Kyle years later? I don’t understand how anyone could do that.”
Her hand trembled as she pushed the hair back from her face. “About eight or nine years ago, she spoke to some friends who had girls the same age and younger than me. One of them told her she needed to move away from Templeton so her daughter could get over what happened to her at Funland one summer.” Her eyes shone with unshed tears. “The same summer it happened to me. Mum figured too many years had gone by for her or the police to have any chance of tracking him down.”
John clenched his jaw but said nothing.
She exhaled. “She was desperate to get me out of there, but with Dad gone, she didn’t have the money.”
“Then she discovered Kyle wanted Funland.”
She nodded. “She was confident if Kyle told Granddad what happened and that she suspected it was part of the reason I was obsessed with staying and making Funland good again, Granddad would want to get rid of it.”
“For whatever price he could get.”
“Exactly.”
John’s heart thundered. “My father used your pain and your mother’s fears to stick the knife in your grandfather. My God, the man is scum.”
Tears slipped over her cheeks. “I’m struggling to see the good in him, despite what Inspector Garrett or anyone else thinks.”
“What do you want to do now?” He curled his hands into fists and stuffed them deep into his pockets, fighting to get control of himself and not jump in the car and drive to Her Majesty’s prison right there and then.
She inhaled a long breath. “I don’t know. I need to think. To reconsider. I’m so mad at her. At Kyle...at him. The man who made all this happen.” She looked deep into his eyes, confusion and hurt storming in her gaze. “I really don’t know what to do.”
He cupped her elbow, pain scratching harshly at his heart as his mind whirled with violent intention. He stole his arm around her shoulders and gently steered her to his car. “Let’s get you home.”
She stood firm, her fingers clutching his forearm and her eyes wide with panic. “I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
“You won’t be. You’re staying with me.”
Her gaze darted over his face. “What about the fair? With Freddy gone—”
“I’ll drop you at Kyle’s house. You can have a bath and try to relax. I’ll make sure everything is taken care of at the fair and come straight back as soon as I can.” He brushed the fallen hair from her eyes. “Let me take care of you, Sasha. Please.”
Her eyes locked with his. They stormed with apprehension, fear and doubt. “I can’t... I don’t know...”
He stepped closer and dipped his head to brush his lips across hers. “Please.”
She closed her eyes and nodded, her shoulders slumping. “I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”
Slipping his fingers into hers, John threw a final glance over his shoulder toward her mother’s street and led Sasha to his car.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
SASHA LET JOHN take her hurriedly packed bag from her fingers as she stood stock-still in the enormous lobby area of Kyle Jordon’s mansion. Hysterical laughter bubbled in her throat as she stared at the majestic, marbled opulence of it.
A huge ebony staircase lay ahead of her, leading to God only knew how many rooms on the second floor. She looked left and right toward the rooms on either side of her. Her strong and often troublesome curiosity battled with decorum as she resisted the need to explore them. Who would’ve ever believed she would one day be standing in Kyle’s Jordon’s hallway—her stomach knotted—and maybe even sleeping in his bed?
She glanced at John.
He stared down at her, his blue eyes intense as he studied her. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
A soft smile played at his lips. “This place feels less cold already. Just having you standing inside these four walls dispels the blandness of it.”
Heat pinched at her cheeks, and she dragged her gaze from his. “It’s not that bad.”
“Liar.”
She smiled and stared at the blank walls and complete lack of decor surrounding them. “Well, maybe it is.”
“Do you want a glass of wine? A cup of coffee? I can get you whatever you want.”
She met his eyes and her heart turned over. “How did this happen?”
He frowned. “What?”
“How did you manage to get me here? Like this? With you? And have me be so damn happy about it?” She grinned.
He dropped her bag and the bag of provisions they’d picked up from the store onto the floor. Smiling that soft, sexy sm
ile of his, he closed the foot of space between them in one easy stride. He curled his fingertips into the front pockets of her jeans and tugged her forward in the way she was starting to love. Her breasts pressed deliciously against the broad expanse of his rock-hard chest.
“I want you to be happy.” His gaze wandered over her face before he dropped his lips to her neck. “I want you to be happy to be with me.”
She tilted her head to the side, giving him greater access to her sensitized skin as she smoothed her hands over his biceps and up to his shoulders. “Things like this don’t happen to me. I don’t let them. I don’t let men get too close...and if I do, it’s always by my rules and not theirs.”
“There are no rules. We’re on neutral ground.” He slowly pulled back, and his hungry gaze locked on hers. “If you want me to back off, I will. I want you to relax. I didn’t ask you here to do anything but relax.”
She smiled. “We’ll see how that goes, shall we?”
He brought his mouth to hers and kissed her, his tongue softly touching hers, and she leaned into him, her heart blending with the gathering strength of her need for this most unlikely man who had somehow come to matter so much more than she’d thought possible. No longer an adversary, John was her confidant, her savior and more than anything, her lover.
Could she really allow herself to trust him as much as her heart wanted her to? Could she let him take care of her? Make everything feel so good when really her world had taken a tumble into the very, very bad.
She opened her heavy lids when he gently eased back and lifted her bag from the floor. “I’ll put this upstairs. You go into the living room and get comfortable. I’ll be just a minute.” He waved toward the room on her left before moving to walk away. He stopped at the bottom stair. “Do you want me to run you a bath?”
She smiled. “Sounds perfect.”
He winked before bounding up the huge staircase two steps at a time and disappearing out of view. Pulling back her shoulders, Sasha walked slowly through the archway leading into Kyle’s living room. A gasp caught in her throat and she put her hand to her chest. Everything was pristine. Shades of cream and the palest beige made the room feel enormous. It was only the flashes of deep red from the cushions, vases and dried flower arrangements that broke the blank canvas.
What Belongs to Her (Harlequin Superromance) Page 20
