Armageddon? Time of challenges? We are stuffed with these children fairy tales already, feed someone else with them ! We are adult and disbelief in such nonsense !
* * *
He was standing, surrounded by several tens of his allies. Awakened warriors of this world.
- We will not despair, and we will not turn back. Do you remember, how you have aided me when I was still a a schoolboy? You have helped me out of pure motivation. The world needs same sort of aid now.
- Yes, George, I remember. I have not forgotten. You are right, we will not surrender. We will keep working.
- What wasn’t possible today, would blossom tomorrow ! How wonderfully you have spoken that day !
Alice has approached him and smiled.
- The faithful one never gives up, the knowing one will bring his knowledge into the world to disseminate darkness of ignorance!
And once again Pavel has repeated his words told by him once.
- Dragons of rage will be defeated !
- Let the spiritual joy blossoms!
- Let each new day be truly new!
He heard these words, and tears have filled his eyes – even though he almost never cried.
It seemed that all of them have decided to remind him his last years of life in this world. They repeated his words – each one repeated something most dear to his heart. They all approached him and friendly clapped on his shoulder, encouraging. They – awakened brave warriors of this world.
- Yes, my friends. We will continue our struggling. We have a path, chosen by us, and our debt lies before us. We should help people understand a lot of things – but each one of them should also feel by himself where does a truth and a lie rests. The planet must survive. We have done much, but should make even more.
Our dreams live in the heart of the Universe and I beg my divine Father for the bright day, when they will come true, to come at the long last.
02.10.2010
Monologue with a child
Hello.
Forgive me, for I have not spoken with you for such a long time. For long, inadmissibly long I have been occupied by things which seemed the only important ones to me, the only deserving attention. And in this race, in this never-ending inconceivable bustle I have almost forgotten about you, have almost left you alone. I have no time left even to speak.
I know, I always knew, how important it is for you – to feel, that you are not forgotten, that you are important to someone. That somewhere someone is awaiting you, awaiting your return. That he will happily embrace you when you will appear again on a threshold of his house.
And now you have returned.
You have travelled by novel and unknown ways for so long – and this world is so full of dangers. But no – you have passed all of them, travelled effortlessly – so easily, as if the knowledge of how to bypass them was always with you, since your very birth … as though they were not even obstacles, promising danger, - but some mysterious, wonderful game … and you sincerely enjoyed it.
Forgive me that you had to knock on my doors several times – that I did not hear you from the beginning. I have almost ceased to believe in your returning.
You know, I have been thinking about you since the very moment you left me. The anger, hatred, rage, melancholy, despair - all of them replaced each other as in a kaleidoscope. All of them dropped on me like an icy-cold stream, depriving of powers and heat.
Yes, there were also joyful moments – small sparkles, which have flown away from an unknown fire, and flashed before eyes for an instant, before being dissolved into non-existence again. I have even managed to be happy all years of your absence – but only now I have become truly happy, when you have returned at last. As if I have yet again found something, I have been searching for all my life … something of the utmost importance.
And if you have returned – you must have forgiven me.
Come closer, allow me to embrace you. You have changed … you are completely different now. We both are no longer the ones we used to be.
You have grown up … became stronger. Truly, this life has taught you much – though what can we teach the wizard, capable to change the world ?
Approach me, stand no at a house threshold, for this house is our common one. It will always be this way from now on. Now we will be together again, together again – like in the old times, incalculable years ago.
We will be together, for we are the one. I and You. You and I.
I – human … and You – the eternal child in my soul …
28.09.2010
Nameless One
- Yes, doc ? What have you ?
- The newcomer. Our guys have picked him up from a doss house.
- Humiliated and offended one, or so to say ?
- Sort of. Was wandering around, singing songs. Was still whispering some nonsense under his nose, while was carried here – perhaps, believed, that we haven’t heard all that, - nay, heard, all his bullshit we’ve heard ! Well-well, where will we place him, huh ? He’s still hot – cause recently caught, or so to speak.
- And what exactly was this nonsense about ? Something about the Doomsday yet again, I take it ? We’ve tons of these homebrew Nostradamuses nowadays in our wards already.
- Well … not exactly .. or so I hope. You know, doc, I didn’t listen very attentively to all his rubbish – wanna still remain healthy, you know. But, nevertheless, I’ve heard something interesting.
- Boofhead – cloven-hoofed ! Go ahead, drag it all out, this plain truth !
- Well … in general … first of all he was saying that he’s been living here for a very long time already.
- You mean, in that doss house of his ?
- Not at all, that’s the very point ! He’s been living on the Earth for a long time ! That he’s, ostensibly, almost immortal, sort of. That he’s come to all of us once again, cause he has been called.
- Called ? By whom, I wonder ? Whether it was this sick imagination of his, hmmm ?
- Dunno know, he didn’t tell. Well, then, he has been called, yes, and not alone, but together with others – well, sort of his brothers, or something of that kind. Called ones, so I take it. That they all have come to help us awaken, cause the time is already upon us.
- The time, you say ? What’s time is that ? Whether it’s not the half of twelfth on our clock already, ha-ha !
- No way, sort of intended time, predicted.
- And what’s that – to wake up ? I take it that we both are not sleeping, or have I stopped understanding something in this our lives anymore, hmm ?
- Who’s the hell knows ! He also mentioned, that we are sleeping with still opened eyes, and that, well … those ones will have a harsh time, when that very time comes. That time will not wait for those not ready to awaken.
- Curios git'to !
- Like the mosquito ! Hell, doc, listen further what he was telling ! He also told, that he has remembered himself, or someone has aided him to remember. That previously he was fighting with a sword in fights just, and today has changed iron blade with an invisible blade of word, able to strike the darkness of human hearts even more precisely. That he’s been collecting pearls of last paths, scattered in world’s dust and forgotten, one by one … told something about the déjà vu. He also told, that he was searching for his family … true, real family of those similar in spirit. That he’s awakened partially, and desires to finally open still half-closed eyes. That he is a man of many names and still he has none at the same time. That he was born, died and forgot, born, died and forgot time and again.
- An amnesia, huh ?
- He finally said in the end, that the world will change very soon … greatly change. That many of us will not have enough time to realize all that … they will – but too late … All filth will emerge on a surface and become visible in the dimmed light … That we should love each other, appreciate life, keep faith … you know, I’ve ceased to listen from that point.
- And right were you ! No
reason to listen to cranky ones at all ! To remain healthy ones, we all need to …
- Drop the guns ! Doc, you haven’t heard the last part of this story ! He, well, approached me finally – when we were dragging him here in the car … approached easily so, sat down, looked into my eyes … Doc, you should have seen this mixture of grief and at the same time some internal joy, tranquility of sorts, I cannot simply put it in words – I have nearly sunk in his eyes during that instance ! And then he started looking into my eyes for longer and I … I give you a word ! – it was like goose bumps running all over my back – as though he has started reading my soul like an opened book, do you understand ? That sort of sensation it was, no other ! And then he just began to speak of all my life, both of a fate and a lot – of what torments me and why I’ve become who I am at present, and that even if I am a small man, I still can have a good role indented to me … he’s told it all ! I even couldn’t say anything during that very instant from amazement – was looking into this eyes of his with a mouth wide opened, like the insolent loony !
- Well, you, colleague, just listen to all those loonies for quite a time and, perhaps, even the saliva will start dropping from that mouth of yours ! All right, that’s enough already. Place him in the six ward along with the second Napoleon. That’s the fitting place for him – and a fitting time.
- A fitting time … yes, a fitting … time.
- Well, did he at least have his documents on him ? What should I write down in our papers about him ?
- You know, doc, the strangest thing is … - and the speaker has sadly looked at his mentor, - he had no documents … and he himself asked us to call him – the Nameless One…
01.11.2010
One day you will awake
One day you will awake, and your former world will die for you forever. It will thaw in beams of the morning sun of new day, it will disappear like night autumn fog, it will evaporate as former tears on someone's face dry up. It will be no more – as if it has never been before.
At first you will not feel it, you will not realize, what has changed inside you…what was so yesterday – and today became differently. But the old habitual world of yours will be no more, ever.
Something will change inside you, something so imperceptible and hidden…sleeping … in you before. Something will turn in you at last, something so ancient as Universe itself. Something will finally manage to come to light – and you will not recognize this new world.
You will come to a window, open it and look out … you will see that rising sun which has decorated heavens … will realize how the fresh wind hammered into an open window sways your hair and tickles your face … will feel a moisture on your skin, brought by it from unknown lands … will hear, how amusingly beeping those cars of people, travelling to work, on the ground … will see, how these funny men run below, always trying to not be late somewhere … will notice, how some bird rushed through the skies just before your new window to this world … and will be so surprised, how did you not notice all of this earlier.
You will not understand at first. Since these times it would be your insoluble question – how was it possible not to feel, not to realize all this earlier … how was it possible to live almost blindly.
You just will not realize it. You will not realize, for what unknown purpose have you lived differently before, why that gamma of feelings pouring through your heart now, – why was it inaccessible to you earlier and wonderfully became accessible now … just stretch your hand.
This will become an eternal riddle of your life, which you will not want to solve – for it will not be necessary henceforth. For in these very moments your old world will be no more.
You will be unable to tell, where has this feeling of greatest respect to the world, in which you have the luck to live, and all things living, come from. You will not know where have all your constant anxieties suddenly vanished and where has your grief gone.
Where has your desire to struggle for your personal sort of justice dissapeared and from where the feeling of absolute internal tranquility and acceptance of everything what occurs has come from?
Where has the feeling of own greatness has vanished and why it has been suddenly washed off by the arisen ocean of love to another ?
Why don’t you want to continue proving something to someone, argue with somebody, to put clever and silly arguments pro's and con's, and instead you are ready to simply look at these disputes between others and to smile to their childishness?
How, why, what for your interests, that had been so important previously, were somehow forgotten and faded, as though they never existed … for what reason did a single feeling replaced them – to always see this world as beautiful, as you see it now ?
Why did other adult and serious people suddenly began to seem to you as small children, battling in own created sandboxes with each other - and sometimes even so funny and diligently throwing handfuls of sand at each other … and sometimes even wiping the face, full of tears, with their small lovely palms ?
Where has all your former anger gone and why do you now greet and shake hands of your former immemorial enemies – and your soul exults, seeing, how their faces are changed, when you affably smile to them and stretch your hand …?
Why do you now approach the bed where your beloved one still sleeps, what for do you sit down on the edge near him, why do you bow to him and kiss, and then lean your head to his own … where has this tenderness, overflowing you, come from ?
What for, what for do you need all this ? Where has your old world gone ?
An instant fear will pierce you. You will be frightened by what has occurred to you. You will not know how to live on with this new feeling of yours. You will passionately want to return back, to life so habitual for you - so reasonable and logical. The mind will keep saying that you have not had time to do so many things - have not had time to build the house, to make your career, to do this, to do that, - and if you will accept your new world, you cannot do it anymore … simply will not see the point. And you will want to listen to him to strongly, for he has aided you in this life for so many times already – and you will almost make it …
But then you would suddenly remember as the sun shined on you – surprisingly beautiful for all these years, how wind pulled out your hair, how you felt an autumn moisture on your lips, how you saw a flying deciduous round dance, and how love to the world overflowed you … and you will throw away these impudent attempts of mind to spoil this beauty – for you will not want to lose it anymore.
There will be many years after – but they all will be different.
Your sleepy life will come to an end – and will not be repeated anymore. You will at last manage to see this world such what it always was for those who saw – and what is became for you from now on.
Both rising and falling, both success and failure, both joy and grief will happen as usual – but all of them will be different. They all will become a reflection of the wonderful new world, to which you have once – in that memorable day – come, and in which you are living now.
Just … just because something, that has been sleeping in you for so long, will once come to light.
Just because one day you will awake …
30.09.2010
Sentence
- Stand up, the court is beginning !
- Stand up, everyone. Thanks ! Now sit down, please. I declare a hearing on a poet’s case opened. I would like to remind both the prosecutor and the advocate that we are dealing with an extremely dangerous social element, masking under an assumed name, and unreasonably stating about the beginning of yet not totally clear cardinal changes of all world order.
- An earth world order, mister judge, - so the accused one told us.
- Yes, I thank you, an accuser, for this clarification. All visible earth world order. What naivety !
- Mister judge, shall I start ?
- Yes, certainly. We will first listen to the prosecution. You certainly h
ave something to tell us, yes ?
- Indeed I have ! So, well, first of all I would like to ask jurymen and everybody in this hall to pay attention to this, if it’s even possibly to say so, creative individual. Just look at what mad sight he possesses … how these very eyes sparkle with some strange and daring fire ! And what an unprecedented impudence it is – to write about eternal life and potential human immortality ! We, both judges and admirers of classical literature, have learnt since school years one simple truth : trust, but check ! And this very check of his frankly crazy literature trash cannot withstand any serious criticism. A mankind have been learning this for a long time, - and it’s proven by views of true representatives of Christian belief, officially fixed on a paper, - that a human as a being, possibly possessing some sort of soul, still lives one and only one life and is resolutely incapable of revival in new appearances. Let us not take into consideration all that absurd, flying from mouths of those so-called spiritual leaders of the East, for they do not even worth a single bit of criticism. What completely nonsense is the statement, that a man did not die, pray tell, gathered Lords ? Alas, by the will of God himself we were made mortal, for from the ashes we are born and to the ashes we go. Alas, but such is the world order that we are capable to comprehend … and during seven thousands of years we, I bet, have managed to understood it up and down ! And, just because man is a being essentially frankly and suddenly mortal, so, these “writings” about endless life and, as a consequence, the New World, is simply a delirium of a feeble-minded ! And that very individual, facing you, is indeed a mad one, for only crazy ones are capable to create similar stuff so selflessly and disinterestedly. I confirm, that maybe accused one really possesses some creative gift, but who can give a guarantee, that these are not the intrigues of enemies of human race, desiring to ruin and destroy all our stability once and for all ? We just cannot make up with his nonsense, for his statements undermine all basis of the managed statehood, which we have been building for quite a while. And, besides, - they undermine almost all our cultural beliefs, all our traditions, foundations, rituals, habits and even prejudices, eventually ! Here is before you, mister judge, and I will not escape this word, is simply and plainly a spiritual terrorist ! He is the enemy of our entire society, of all our ideals, for which we have been preparing this very society for many years already … he is plainly a madman ! He is capable of ruining all our tradition, our power, all that stability, which we have been trying to achieve. He just simply scoffs at people and brainwashes them … they would better watch that television, drink and guzzle, after all, than read so mind-corrupting verses ! The past cannot come back and be returned – and this means that men cannot be revived, whether from ashes or from something similar, it’s absolutely impossible, I simply refuse to believe that, mister judge – and I hope that you share my fears, concerning similar potential sudden changes of spiritual consciousness of people, conducted by us. This change is absolutely undesired by us, - as well as the world does not desire similar madmen.
On the Wings of Hope : Prose Page 15
