by Gephart, T
“I met her. I know she can do the job and she will stick around. In case you haven’t noticed, there aren’t a lot of jobs going on Wall Street right now.”
“You’ve met her? You had an altercation with her in my reception area and from that one interaction you have surmised she is the correct person for the job? Is she threatening a harassment lawsuit? Did you promise her the job if she blew you or something?”
“Fuck, Lexi, why does it always have to be something shady? No, I did not ask her to blow me in exchange for a job and there is no lawsuit. Look, it’s a long story but I got to know a little bit about her and I know she needs this job.”
“Do you see Goodwill painted on the front of my door? I can appreciate she might need a job but so do lots of other people, people who are more qualified, Dan. I’m running a business not a fucking charity.”
“God, you are being such a bitch right now. You know James took a fucking chance on you, didn’t he? Why can’t you give her the same chance?”
“Dan. You have taken it way too far this time.” Stone was in my face before I even had time to register he had moved off the couch. For a tall bastard, he was pretty quick.
Grace let out a cry, the commotion upsetting her. Fuck. This was not going well.
“It’s okay, sweetheart.” Lexi cradled Grace in her arms trying to stop her from crying. Alex ignored me and walked over to where his girls were.
“I’m sorry, sweetie, daddy didn’t mean to yell.” He kissed the top of Grace’s head and with the sound of his voice she started to calm down.
“Alex, calm down. I’ve got this.” Lexi held up her hand to calm Alex who was shooting me dirty looks. He took Grace from Lexi’s arms and continued to settle her.
Lexi lowered her voice, which made me edgy. “Okay, what the fuck is going on because this is not about some job. And Dan, don’t you ever insinuate I got this job on anything other than merit. I had years in public relations and events. I worked my way up from a shitty assistant to running million dollar campaigns so I was more than qualified to handle the tour James hired me for. Me, running the band’s PR now, having my own business, is because of all the hard work I put in over all that time. So watch your fucking mouth. I didn’t get, nor have I ever had, a free ride.”
“All right. You made your point.” I shook off the murderous vibe that was currently being shot in my direction. “And I didn’t mean it that way. Look, I know you are qualified and I know sometimes we don’t see eye to eye but you do an amazing job and I’m glad it’s you who’s watching out for us and not someone else.” I swallowed before continuing. “I know I’m a pain in your ass. I know you get sick of my shit. The girls, the pictures, and everything. I’m sorry if I have made your job difficult but I need you to do this and if you do it, I swear I’ll never ask for anything ever again.”
“Dan, you are starting to scare me now. Tell me what’s going on. You better not be dying or I’ll kill you myself.”
“I’m not dying, but it’s good to know that if I was, you’d end it for me early. Nice. Thanks for that.” I couldn’t help but smile. There was no doubt if I was ever in need of being put out of my misery, Lexi Reed would be the person I’d turn to. She was not only tough but she didn’t flinch, not even a bit.
She returned the smile. “That’s how you know I care. I wouldn’t want you to suffer. That’s the special kind of love I have for you.”
“So you saw us argue. Ashlyn and me. At your office. Well later that night she ended up at the same club we were at. I was getting busy with a couple of girls when Troy found her trying to sneak into the VIP section.”
“Classy, Dan. Two girls. Really?” Lexi asked, but she didn’t sound surprised. It wasn’t the first time. I chose to ignore her and continued.
“Anyway, she was pretty drunk and Troy found her poking around the VIP section and he thought it would be funny to bring her in because she was pissed at me. Apparently I had offended her.” I rolled my eyes remembering that nothing I had said was offensive, if anything, she had been the one who had been rude.
“Cue my lack of surprise.” Lexi smirked. I once again chose to ignore her. Seriously, did she want to hear this story or not?
“So yeah, she yelled at me for a while and then left.” I didn’t bother mentioning the bit about her making out with me before walking out, though no doubt Troy or Jase would flap their gums at some point and they’d both find out.
“So she piqued my interest. She is kind of a loud mouth like you, but not as aggressive. No offense.” I held up my hands, not wanting to piss her off at this point.
“None taken. Go on.” Thankfully Lexi didn’t seem pissed.
“I found her and her friend at the front of the club. Her friend had twisted her ankle so we got them home safely,” I explained, remembering finding Ashlyn trying to help Megs off the ground, her ankle already starting to blow up. I don’t think I’ll ever understand girls and their fucking shoes.
“Did you sleep with her, Dan?” Lexi looked me square in the eye.
“No, not like that. Honest, Lexi. I swear, I didn’t do shit but spend the night at her place to make sure she was okay.”
“But wasn’t her friend the one who was hurt?” Lexi narrowed her eyes. I couldn’t tell if she didn’t believe me or was trying to slip me up. She always had a knack of making me confused and then I’d end up saying shit I didn’t mean.
“Yes. What does it matter? I stayed.” I pushed my hands through my hair. She was really enjoying raking me over the coals on this.
“So the next day we got talking and I got to really know her. No one will hire her even though she is super smart and amazing. She is working in a bar, Lexi. She spent all that time in college and now only works in a bar. She lives in a shithole apartment in the bad part of Brooklyn. Can you do this for me? Please?”
“Holy shit. You are really serious. You have feelings for this girl.” Lexi’s eyes widened.
“What? I just met her. I don’t have feelings. I’m just trying to be a decent guy and I can tell she is doing it tough. So will you do it?” I didn’t want to talk about the way I felt about Ashlyn, not with these two anyway. I didn’t know what I felt. I knew I wanted to make her smile and try and make things easier for her. I knew I liked spending time around her and I hated she was working a job she hated, dealing with dickwads, and coming home late at night. I was just being a concerned citizen who was looking out for someone who was down on their luck. It didn’t have to be about feelings.
“Dan, I can’t just give her a job. While I think what you are doing is admirable and I love seeing this compassionate side to you, I can’t afford to gamble on this. It’s a big risk.” I started to interrupt, wanting to argue if money was the issue, I would happily pay her salary when Lexi stopped me. “Wait. Let me finish. I’m still on maternity leave. I’m hardly in the office other than a few important meetings so I need someone who is not only going to be able to step in but step up. I need to hire someone who can do that, and while I don’t think Ashlyn is suited to the role, I can tell she would be an asset to the right company.” Lexi reached out and rubbed my arm. “Let me make a few calls. I think I might be able to find her something more suitable.”
“Thanks, Lex.” I nodded, the gratitude making me feel kind of emotional.
“Look, no promises. I’ll get her in the door, a meeting with someone, but she is going to have to do the rest herself. It will be up to them if they hire her, I need you to understand that,” Lexi continued, making it clear it wasn’t a done deal.
“I got it. No promises.” All she needed was a start. She would wow them. I had no doubt she had the goods to get a job if she was just put in the right place at the right time.
“Dan, if you really like her, make sure you play this straight, okay?” Lexi moved out of her chair, snagging her iPhone off the coffee table.
“Lexi, just make your calls. Not everyone has to end up with a SUV with a baby on board sticker on the back.” I c
ouldn’t help myself; I knew that shit pissed her off.
“I do not have a baby on board sticker on my car,” she spat out defensively.
“Let me do my thing. I know what I’m doing.”
At least I thought I did, and if I didn’t, I wasn’t about to front to it now.
I woke up alone and that disappointed me. What disappointed me even more was I cared I was alone. Make sense? No, I didn’t think so. In fact, none of it made sense. I had woken up alone more times than not, and I had never lived with a guy, so why I was feeling this way was a real mystery. The last few days had effectively scrambled my brain and I wasn’t thinking clearly. How had I gone from disliking this crude, obnoxious rock star with questionable social skills to wanting to see him when I woke up? It was a slippery slope being with Dan, and I was free-falling.
Perhaps this is my version of rebellion, being with a man I knew I could have no future with. I knew whatever we were would be fleeting, a bump in my road. I could never assimilate into his world any more than he could to mine. He was a fantasy, a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. You could run and run in an attempt to reach it but it never got any closer. But that didn’t mean I didn’t want to follow the rainbow a little longer, see my days through the magic of its colors. It would be okay as long as I kept my reality in check. I couldn’t afford to lose sight of who either of us really were. Wow. This was all very deep. Too deep. Especially at this time of the morning.
Dan had woken me before he left, saying he had to get some shit done. I shouldn’t have expected him to stay. It would have been weird. I had rubbed myself against him, climaxing before giving him a hand job. Sure, that wasn’t awkward. What do you say to someone who you actually haven’t had sex with? It was for the best. Him leaving, I mean. The no sex thing? The jury was still out. If Dan was able to give me the best orgasm I’ve ever had without actual penetration, I could only imagine what it be like if we actually did it. I really needed to stop. I was getting dizzy just thinking about it.
New plan. One that did not involve me moping around in my apartment analyzing all things Dan Evans. I scrounged through my kitchen cupboard and found a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Things were looking up. So after devouring a bowl of cereal and my usual morning get-ready ritual, I headed out of my apartment to enjoy the sunshine. It was October, which meant that soon the warmth would be replaced by the icy chill. Just another thing I didn’t want to think about it.
I don’t know why I ended up at Columbus Circle. Today wasn’t a day for making sense so I just went with it. It was liberating, not having a road map. Just walking around aimlessly like a tourist. I stopped for a coffee and sat on the grass. Everything I was doing was pointless and yet it felt great doing it.
I had just made it back to my neighborhood when my phone burst into life shaking me from my daydream. Nearby, pedestrians turned around at the commotion. I quickly grabbed it from my purse. The old George Michael song, “I Want Your Sex” spewed loudly from the speaker, the screen filled by Dan’s photo. I can’t believe he had changed my ringtone.
“Dan,” I half-yelled into the phone, my finger swiping to accept the call as fast as I could. Really? I want your sex? Could he be any more obvious?
“Wow you answered fast.” Dan chuckled. “Are you missing me, babe? That’s so fucking sweet.” I didn’t have to see his face to know he was smiling. Smug. Confident. Sexy. I couldn’t help but smile back. I almost jogged back to my apartment not wanting to be distracted by the outside noise.
“I’m not missing you, ass, I just didn’t want the rest of the neighborhood to be subjected to my ringtone. Speaking of which, do you have any boundaries at all?” I tried my best to sound annoyed but as much as I tried, I was coming up short in the convincing department. I had become desensitized, his charm winning me over.
“What did I tell you about putting a password lock on your phone? Relax. It’s just a ringtone. Besides, it’s what we both know you’re thinking when you see that pic.” His low voice vibrated through the phone sending a shiver through my core. I would never admit it, but he was right.
“Could you be any more conceited?” I asked, glad he couldn’t see how flustered he made me. I cleared my throat doing my best to sound like I had my shit together. “Does this call have a purpose, Dan, or do you just want to harass me?”
“I was thinking about you,” he purred into the phone. He was too good at this. The seduction. The man needed a warning from the surgeon general.
I climbed up the stairs of my apartment building, juggling the phone while trying to open my front door.
“Okay, I really didn’t need the update, but thanks.” I tried to sound bored as I chewed on my bottom lip. Why did it excite me so much he had been thinking of me? This is what he’d reduced me to. Elated yet annoyed. I was my own contradiction. I collapsed onto my couch, no longer able to stay upright.
“Were you thinking about me?” His voice swirled around each word. I was going to need to sit down. Hell, I was already sitting down. Maybe I needed to stand up. Get the blood moving, hopefully enough to where my brain kicked into gear.
“No, I’ve had lots on my mind today, so sorry, you didn’t feature,” I deadpanned.
“You are such a liar.” Dan laughed. “Was I doing dirty things? Whatever you are imagining isn’t even close to how good it can be.”
Yep, Standing up now. I think I could probably run a marathon at this point and it still wouldn’t shake my train of thought.
“Well I guess I will happily live in ignorance, because you know that isn’t going to happen.” I wasn’t really sure whose benefit I was saying it for.
“I think it will, but you keep living in denial.”
“Look, last night…” I swallowed, my eyes closing slowly before I continued. “Just don’t read too much into it. I had an itch and you helped me scratch it. That’s all.” Yep, that’s right. That’s all it was. At least that is what I needed to tell myself. I had a need, and he was able to appease it. Nothing more. Certainly nothing romantic. Dan was right. I was a bad liar.
“Is that what it was? Huh.” A gentle chuckle vibrated through the phone. “I think you will find if you ask my dick, he would tell you different.”
“Well then your dick is just as clueless as you are.” I smiled into the phone like an idiot.
Dan let out a loud, throaty laugh. “It’s been called a lot of things - huge, magnificent, amazing, outstanding, oh-my-god-don’t-stop, but never clueless. If there is one part of me that knows what it’s doing, it’s that part.”
“Okay, hanging up now.” Before I said something stupid. Or more stupid, as the case may be.
“Wait. What are you doing later? I want to see you.” His voice turned serious, not allowing me to end the call.
“Dan…” I blew a long breath into the phone. “Why?” Was I a game? The thrill of the chase? Was I just another name to add to his long list of conquests?
“’Cause I like you and despite you saying different, I think you like me, too.”
His honesty startled me. Why couldn’t he just say what I had expected him to say, that he wanted to sleep with me. That I could handle. The fact he liked me—whatever that meant—just complicated everything. He was supposed to say he wanted sex. I couldn’t go down that road with him. A relationship? No, Dan probably wasn’t even capable of that.
“Dan, we would never work. You know that I’m right. I want a lot of things, and dating a musician who can’t keep it in his pants isn’t on that list.”
“That’s cool, Ashlyn, ’cause I have a list, too. See my girlfriend has to have huge porno tits and be seriously good at blowjobs, so sadly, you don’t really fit the bill either. Great news about that is, we don’t have to worry about impressing each other or pretending we’re each other’s soul mates. We can just hang out.”
I blinked. He hadn’t missed a beat, throwing off my protest like water off a duck’s back. He should have been offended. Hell, I should have been offende
d but his whole rebuttal was so comical and sincere it just made him more endearing. His way of making it okay for us. And damn him if at that moment, Dan Evans had weaseled himself into a tiny corner of my heart. He was going to be the death of me.
“You’re crazy, you know that, right?” I giggled. “I’m going to give you a little hint, if you want a girl you probably shouldn’t tell her where her deficiencies are.”
“Just being honest, babe. Figured you’ve probably had enough douchebags lie to you to get you in bed. I’m never going to lie to you.”
“So big tits and blowjobs, huh? She sounds like she is going to be such a catch.” I smiled.
“Oh, hell yeah. The tits I might be able to overlook, as long as they are at least adequate, but the blowjobs, they are non-negotiable.”
“This is all very informative, I’ll let you know if I see anyone who meets the criteria.” I continued with his ruse. He made it so easy.
“Aw, Ash, you are kind of making me hard.”
“You are impossible, you know that?” I sighed, letting my head fall against the back of the couch.
“Yeah I know. Impossible to resist. So when can I see you?” he persisted. I repeated in my head my earlier sentiment. Death. Of. Me.
“I have to work tonight, Dan. Maybe some other time.” I was more than just a little disappointed. I wanted to see him. I wanted that and so much more.
“Wait. You’re working tonight? When were you going to tell me? I thought we agreed I would be taking you home.” Something in his voice shifted, an edge I hadn’t heard before.
“It’s okay, Dan, I know you’re just trying to be nice and it was a sweet thing to offer but I’m not going to hold you to it. I’ll promise to be safe. I’ll catch a cab.”
“Babe, I’m not nice or sweet, and I offered ’cause I wanted to. Besides you already agreed to it so you can’t take it back now. It’s a done deal. So you can forget taking a cab. Tell me what time and where to pick you up.” His tone darkened. Wow. He really wasn’t playing around.
