by Anna Santos
I laughed.
“I’m going to clean a room for you,” Philippe said, putting a hand on my shoulder after placing a new crepe in front of Camille.
I looked up at him and nodded.
“I’ll be right back,” he said sweetly, kissing my forehead and leaving in a flash.
“You can pretend all you want, but you feel extremely attracted to him,” Camille said, looking at her plate and eating. “For God’s sake, I saw you two kissing!”
“What do you mean?”
“You love him,” she blurted out.
“No, I don’t.” I had no idea why I said that. Why am I lying to Camille?
“Yes, you do. It would be better if you would let him fix your bond and stop pretending that you don’t care about him. He’s clearly head over heels for you. He didn’t leave your side while you were in a coma. He…loves you.”
“And?” I asked, trying to sound indifferent to her words and my feelings.
“Make him crawl and beg a lot before accepting him back, but don’t leave him alone. He needs you, you need him. It wouldn’t be wise to go to Hell just because you are too proud to forgive his mistake.”
“It wasn’t a small mistake,” I argued.
“He was an ass. I can’t disagree. But…he didn’t do it in his perfect state of mind. He isn’t that bad. He can cook, he cares about you, he gets nervous around you, and he’s always making sure that you are okay. He is also extremely protective. Plus, you like his kisses, a lot,” she accused me.
My cheeks got even redder.
“I think you should give him another try, and I’m not just saying that because it would save your soul or because he is a good cook. I’m saying that because I believe in love and that everybody has the right to get a second chance. I also believe that you can save both of your souls.”
“Did you give your soul-mate a second chance?” I asked, knowing that I was touching a sensitive spot but wanting to prove my point.
“I didn’t. He’s dead and gone,” she said coldly, leaving the fork in the air as if she had lost the appetite. “But…he wasn’t a good person. He tried to kill me on several occasions, and he and his friends… It’s different. Trust me. Philippe isn’t like my former soul-mate. He regrets his decision, and it’s not a recent regret. He’s been trying to get you for a while now.”
“It hasn’t been a month.” I sighed. I needed to think things through. My feelings were all messed-up. I knew I loved him, I just wasn’t sure I could trust him with my heart and my life.
“Make him work for it, but don’t be proud. Let your heart tell you what you want.”
“How can I trust him again?” I asked.
“If he wanted to get rid of you, he wouldn’t care about saving you and protecting you, would he?”
“He is like two hundred years old or more,” I whispered, leaning forward so only she could hear me. “We probably don’t have much in common, besides music, and he is smart and knows a lot of things,” I started rambling, and Camille looked at me as if I was crazy.
“You clearly have things in common. Though, he cooks better than you,” she joked.
I couldn’t disagree with her. We laughed.
“You have things in common, and he is not that old.”
I stared at her with my ‘are you kidding me face.’
“How old do you think Cedric is?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “How old?”
“More than sixty for sure.”
“I thought he was younger, like twenty or something.”
“They don’t get much older after they turn into gargoyles. When they become angels, they mature a bit more and become gorgeous like Jacob.”
I laughed. I loved how Camille adored Jacob.
“You don’t regret your choice, do you?” I asked.
“Of course not. He’s my whole life. I love him, and I’m lucky to have a second mate as wonderful as him.”
I smiled, elated for her happiness.
“Have you decided what you are going to wear tonight?” She changed the subject.
“What?” I asked, eating one more bite.
“To Charlotte’s birthday party.”
“I don’t think I’m invited anymore,” I declared, playing with the crepe. “This is pretty good.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “I think you are invited. You are still an angel. He isn’t going to reject you yet. Who knows, maybe you’ll change your mind.”
I stopped eating to stare at her. “Are you going to make up your mind? Who do you want me to be with?”
She shrugged. “I love Cedric, he’s my prince, but I find Philippe’s dedication to you endearing. Cedric can always find another mate if you are so keen on becoming human again. Being an angel is…cool, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities.”
“I get the responsibilities part. Cedric is always talking about them. He always puts his duty above everything else. When we talked, I decided that it would be better for me to go back to being human. Besides, I don’t want him to die because of me.”
“Because you love someone else,” she insisted. “Again, I saw you both kissing.”
I played with my fork while looking at her. “I wasn’t planning on kissing him. He kissed me.”
“And you hated it so much that you burned him to ashes,” she mocked me.
I wanted to throw something at her face for being so annoying.
“I had already broken up with Cedric when that happened.”
“Okay. I’m not judging you.”
“You did. I saw it in your eyes.”
“I didn’t mean to judge you. I just…got sad because it meant that I was going to lose you, too. You have become my best friend. It isn’t just Cedric who is losing you.”
Her words touched me. I smiled at her. “I love you, silly. You aren’t going to lose me.”
“We should be bonded together then,” she joked.
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I doubt you would like to share Jacob.”
“Yes, you have a point there.”
Sighing, I pushed my plate aside and folded my arms on the table. “I know that a lot of girls would die to have my powers and to have Cedric as a mate. But it’s my decision and my life. I’ll do what I think is better for me and my future. Besides, I would fail the trial and have Cedric’s death on my conscience. I wouldn’t be able to live with that. Cedric can find someone else, someone who is strong enough to deal with the pressure. Someone who loves him with all her heart and doesn’t have feelings for anyone else,” I whispered low enough so only she would hear me.
She nodded with empathy in her eyes. “Well, the only way you could keep your wings is if you loved Cedric with all your heart, not because the idea of being an angel queen pleased you. Love is love if it’s unselfish. You have to love the person you want to spend eternity with even if they aren’t rich, handsome, or important. Jacob isn’t a prince. He has a place in the angel hierarchy, but I love him for him and not for the powers he gave me or because he’s an angel. I would love him even if we weren’t angels.”
I nodded, understanding her perfectly.
Pondering for a moment, I ended up confessing, “I’m in love with Philippe.”
Camille smiled wickedly with her ‘I-told-you-so’ expression. “Someone is going to spend a lot more time in Paris, and we can go shopping.”
“More shopping,” I whispered, cringing at the idea. “I want to see my parents. Maybe I can come back some other time.”
“Your parents won’t disappear from the United States, and you need to bond with Philippe. So, stop being stubborn.”
“I haven’t forgiven Philippe, remember?”
“You don’t need to forgive him to bond with him. Just let him suffer a little longer and decide what you really want from life. No rush. Enjoy yourself and be happy, Aria. Without overthinking everything. Let it go. Let it gooooo,” she sang as she waved her hands around.
“You’ve been watching t
oo much Frozen,” I teased her, knowing that it would annoy her.
To my total distress, she continued to sing.
I warned her, “Oh my God, the glasses are made of crystal.”
Camille burst into laughter.
“Are you high on something?” I asked.
“I’m strangely happy and floating between moods. Really strange. I just attacked Jacob before coming here.”
“What do you mean?” I grabbed the fork and took another bit of the crepe.
“We had sex, Aria,” she spelled things out for me.
“And I needed to know that why?” I asked, cringing at the amount of information she provided about her sexual life.
“I felt like talking about it. Hmm… Are you going to eat that?”
“I’m not that hungry.”
“Can I eat it then?”
“For how long have you been starving?” I asked, shocked by her appetite.
“Sex makes room for appetite.”
“Again, too much information!”
Shrugging with a smile, she stole my plate. I let her eat my crepe, thinking about the events in my life lately. It was messy and confusing. It had changed a lot, and I was unsure of how I would go back to my old life and leave all that behind.
Do I really want to leave Philippe?
“I must leave in a bit. They need me to help with the preparations for the party. Do you want to come?”
“I’ll pass. I need to rest anyhow,” I said, looking at the door. Philippe was returning.
“I’ve taken your luggage upstairs. You can go to bed whenever you want,” he informed me.
“Thank you.”
“I’ll probably go back to the palace,” Camille said, getting up. “Thank you for the food. I’ll see you tonight.” She waved goodbye and disappeared.
“Is she coming back?” Philippe asked, staring at the plates.
I shrugged. I didn’t want to tell him that she wanted me to go to a party. It would raise too many questions, and I was not in the mood to answer them. I was feeling sad.
Philippe walked to my side. “Have you eaten anything?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You shouldn’t let people eat your food,” he said.
I grinned, remembering the day we had spent in the Louvre, and Gabby ate my food. Philippe was charming when he wanted to be.
“I’m tired.”
“Follow me then. I’ll take you to your bedroom,” he said, offering me his hand.
Chapter NINE
JOSEPHINE
Things were getting out of control. It took me a while to realize that Cedric was kissing me. I don’t know if it was the shock or if I had an inclination to fall for complicated guys that made my brain stop processing and letting him kiss me. Maybe I should stop over thinking things and accept the fact that he was sexy as hell. Who in their right mind wouldn’t want to be kissed by him? Probably me. Although he was undeniably hot, I wasn’t an idiot who would fall into his arms and surrender to his confusing and unexpected behavior.
“Stop, stop.” I panicked with closed eyes and my hands clasped to his shirt. I was barely able to speak because he started leaving small kisses along my face. “Please,” I begged, breathless, fighting against my irrationality.
“I don’t want to stop,” he complained for my desperation.
I got mad. “This isn’t the best way to pay back Aria and Philippe,” I reasoned with him.
“I couldn’t care less about them right now.” He pushed me gently against the wall while trailing kisses down my neck.
I bit my lip, trying to keep my eyes opened. I was gripping his strong arms, but I wasn’t pushing him away. I should be stronger than to fall under the charm of an angel.
His hands touched the curve of my breasts, sending fireworks to my stomach. “We need to stop this nonsense.” I pushed him back.
Standing there, I watched him gazing at me with numb eyes as I fought for air, flustered. My rationality was hanging by a thread. “Have you lost your mind?”
He must have. He stepped forward to hold me again, and I recoiled. There was a wall behind me, a sofa to my left, and the window to my right. I could push him back again and get away from here, but my legs weren’t moving.
Cedric frowned. Maybe he wasn’t going to kiss me a second time.
“You want me as much as I want you,” he said bluntly, hugging me by my waist and making me look into his blue eyes.
He wasn’t going to give up that easily. On any other occasion, I would find that sexy or annoying. It depended on who was trying to kiss me.
“Stop pretending like you don’t.”
“Do you think I’m stupid?” I asked, pushing him back. He wasn’t going to manipulate me that easily. “What do you take me for, some kind of whore who sleeps with any guy that shows interest in her?”
Cedric shook his head. “I respect you, that’s not it.”
“You broke up with your girlfriend today, the girl you claimed to love. Do you expect me to believe that this sudden interest in me isn’t some form of payback? You broke up with Aria, and suddenly you want to fuck me. How providential is that?”
“You are going to sacrifice yourself tomorrow. I’m going to lose my feelings, my yearning, and part of my emotions. The least we can do is enjoy the rest of the hours we have left together.” He emphasized the last word. “Kissing, having sex, talking…whatever you want.” He came closer.
Breathing presented itself as a challenge again. I was at a loss for words and lost in his eyes, aware of his demanding presence, aware that he was waiting for me to say something.
“What’s the difference between fucking a total stranger or me as your last dying wish?”
I narrowed my eyes, annoyed. “I care about you, jerk!”
“I care about you, too!” he snapped back at me. “Does everybody think that I’m heartless?”
“Of course not,” I mumbled as I lowered my gaze to the ground.
Before I could understand what was happening, I was pinned against the wall, and he had raised my arms above my head.
“I don’t want you to die,” he stated, his voice laced with grief.
“Why?”
“Because then I’ll be completely alone. I won’t have you to call me a jerk and to try to reason with me.”
“I’m a vampire,” I said with tears in my eyes. The damn fool was softening my foolish heart with his words. I wasn’t even sure what his words meant precisely. He knew we weren’t meant to be.
“I’m perfectly aware of that.”
“I had my chance.”
“I’m aware of that, too. There’s nothing more impossible than you and me.”
“So, you shouldn’t…” My voice disappeared for a moment. My emotions were taking over. “I can never become an angel again.”
“I know. Vampires and werewolves dating is a joke compared to us. I should have been born two hundred and twenty years sooner,” he spoke as his nose moved along my neck, smelling my skin. My body trembled in anticipation of his touch and my legs grew weaker. “We have here and now. And I know that you want me as badly as I want you.”
That was a bold thing to say. Cedric was cocky about the effect he had on me; about our attraction.
“I’m not an eighteen-year-old virgin girl, Cedric,” I reminded him. “You won’t manipulate me into…” I shut up when his lips fell on mine as he kissed me possessively and molded my body against his.
I cursed mentally when I felt how aroused he was and how excited I became. There was no way I would want to escape from his arms if he kept kissing me like that.
“If you aren’t one,” he breathed against my lips, “then stop acting like it and kiss me. Come on, Jo. What do you have to lose?”
I didn’t know if I should punch him or obey. Instead, I moved my hands, so he would let go of my arms. He shook his head, and I looked at the ceiling, annoyed.
“I swear I’ll hurt you if you don’t let go of my arms this
instant,” I warned him, ready to act on my threat.
I must have hurt his feelings because he let me go and moved back some inches. I was still trapped since he placed his hands against the wall, caging me in.
“You don’t want me, either,” he whispered.
His sad words hit me like a punch in the guts.
“It’s not that,” I tried to explain to him. The hurt in his eyes was unbearable.
“It looks like it,” he claimed.
I sighed. I shouldn’t be so concerned about hurting his feelings. I was trying to prevent something stupid from happening in the heat of the moment. We would ruin our friendship. Then, it hit me. My reasoning was absurd. I was trying to deny my attraction to him, so we wouldn’t ruin our friendship, yet I was going to disappear.
Who cares about friendship?
The next day, by this time, I wouldn’t exist anymore. I might as well live in the moment and surrender myself to the crazy attraction I had for him. There was no one else I would rather spend my time with, anyhow. Philippe was busy with his mate, and I was here, in front of Cedric, debating whether I should let him seduce me or not. His eyes were on mine, and all I could think of was how gorgeous he was. I wanted to keep kissing and touching him until my desire was satisfied.
“This is by far the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, but who cares? I won’t have to live with it much longer,” I mumbled, grabbing his face and pulling him in for a kiss.
I caught him off guard, but he didn’t hold it back.
I enjoyed the taste of his mouth, the softness of his lips, and his body falling onto mine. It was a rush of adrenaline, making my heart beat extremely fast and caused my mind to drift away.
My skin was tingling with pleasure. His hands were gripping and caressing my back and arms while his mouth was invading all my senses and numbing my mind with lust. It was by far the hungriest kiss I’ve had in centuries. I didn’t want him to stop. I was pushing him harder, fighting his tongue, hugging him tighter. I was losing track of time and of what was around us as the deadly yearning that I was feeling drove me into oblivion. I was incoherent. I typically had a lot of control over my emotions and the movements of my partner when I was kissing or having sex with someone. Seducing was an art, a vice to look for a temporary cure for the loneliness inside my heart after the rejection. I had never fully committed myself to another man. Men were toys, brief whims to please my lust.
