Kingdom of Fear

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Kingdom of Fear Page 23

by Hunter S. Thompson


  We spent a lot of time in the maze of dim gravel streets that wind through Marina Hemingway. Only a few big boats remained from the decadent good old days before the War and the fearful crackdown on prostitution that so crippled the Party spirit in Havana, and the few people still living onboard were treated like perverts and spies. My friend Skaggs from Little Rock was arrested four times on the first day we met with him, and his boat was visited three times by police one night when we were trying to relax and watch the War news on his clandestine TV set in the galley.

  We were sitting around a teakwood map table in the cabin of his Grand Banks trawler in the Hemingway Marina when the TV news came alive with a flurry of live photos of American prisoners of war just captured in Yugoslavia. It was one of those scenes that you know will be clearly imprinted in your memory for the rest of your life—people weeping and shouting in Texas with horror in their eyes and neighbors tying yellow ribbons around telephone poles in one another’s front yards under the watchful eyes of many TV cameras and dogs howling off-camera.

  Skaggs slammed his fist on the table and cried out: “GOD-DAMNIT, THIS IS TOO DEPRESSING. THEY SHOULD TAKE THOSE BASTARDS OUT AND EXECUTE THEM TOMORROW MORNING.”

  “What?” I said. “Get a grip on yourself, Skaggs. Those people can’t be executed. They are prisoners of war.”

  “Bullshit,” he said. “They are spies. They should be EXECUTED. That’s the only way to get the president’s attention.”

  I was shocked. Skaggs is a died-in-the-wool Clinton backer, and his wife is strongly opposed to the death penalty under any circumstances. She makes two or three trips to Washington every year to lobby against Police Brutality. It was weird to hear him calling for the execution of U.S. POWs.

  But she was not with us on the boat in Cuba that night, so he felt free to vent. “The bastard has gone too far this time,” he explained. “He thinks he can drop a 2,000-pound bomb on anybody who won’t salute him.” He shook his head angrily and chopped off another few chunks of ice with his fishing tool. “The president is not crazy. He’s just plain stupid. I learned that a long time ago, back when I was still raising money for his goddamn never-ending campaigns.”

  The boat rocked gently beneath our feet as he jumped down into the darkened hold where he kept his music equipment. “Hot damn!” he exclaimed. “Let’s hear some Sonny Boy Williamson!”

  I felt a shudder go through me as the amp kicked in. Everybody jumped and Heidi tried to stand up, but the music was too powerful. It turned every beam and strut and bench on the boat into a wooden tuning fork; it was like a shock through the colon every time Sonny Boy hit a G string. Glasses rattled on the table.

  The music was so loud and the War news so terrifying that it took us a while to realize that somebody was pounding on the back door. It was a cop complaining about the noise, but Skaggs took him outside and we went back to sucking heavily on our Cohibas.

  We were not degenerates, and neither was Skaggs, to my knowledge, and we were doing nothing illegal. But cops were watching us anyway, and that is a nervous feeling when you’re sitting on a boat in a foreign harbor.

  . . .

  We were waiting for Ray (a.k.a. Colonel Depp)—my personal bodyguard and international road manager from London—in the airport lounge when I heard the unmistakable whine of an electric drill from behind a closed door near the baggage carousel. It was penetrating something that was too soft to offer much resistance, and I thought I knew what it was. My own Kevlar suitcase had been drilled five times when we came through the airport two nights earlier—five neat little holes going into the bag from five different directions—and now I knew it was Ray’s turn. I knew we were in for a long wait.

  Halsband slumped on his stool and ordered four more Mojitos while Heidi paced crazily back and forth on the slick tile floor. Ray was nowhere in sight, and we could only guess at his fate. Once they start drilling your luggage in this country, the next few hours are going to be very edgy. First your bag will be marked with an ominous red XXX, then it will be thoroughly searched and examined. You will be questioned repeatedly about the same things: “Why do you have all these red cigarettes? Are you wearing false teeth? Will you come with me to the X-ray machine on the other side of that wall? Why are you here? What are you carrying in that toothbrush? Was your mother born in Algiers? Who is your personal dentist? Why are you acting so nervous?”

  The correct answer to all of these questions is “No”—over and over, “No”—and the price of inconsistency can be ten years in a Cuban prison. Never be inconsistent. If the Customs cop thinks he heard you say that your mother is a dentist in Algiers the first time he asks, your answer must be exactly the same when he asks the same question five minutes later. Do not change your story in even the smallest detail. That way lies trouble.

  I knew Ray was carrying a mixed bag of personal presents, including bottles of Absinth and night-vision binoculars and frozen shirts and Nazi SS jewelry. He also had rare medicines from Europe and oriental hand fans and many thousands of dollars and perfumes and cameras and pornography and sophisticated tattoo paraphernalia. He looked like an international Pimp with no respect for the law. If his luggage was searched he was doomed.

  A Cuban band was singing “Guantanamera” on TV in the airport bar, but we were all too nervous to enjoy the music. “We may have to make a run for the car,” I whispered to Halsband. “Somebody is about to get busted here.”

  He looked startled and quickly drank off his Mojito. “Stop worrying about cops,” he said. “Everybody’s a cop in this country. Ray will have no trouble,” he said. “He is bulletproof.”

  Just then the lights went dim in the airport and people stopped talking. I felt a hand clutch my arm in the darkness and heard Heidi moaning, “O my god, O my god . . .”

  It was Ray. He had slipped unnoticed through the gate when the lights went dim and the mob of paranoid tourists began to panic. We paid the bill quickly and rushed out to our waiting white “limousine,” saying nothing. Terror is never very far away in Cuba, and smart people flee like rats at the first sign of it. The first thing to do when a panic starts is get a grip on your wallet and walk, not run, toward the nearest exit. Women always clutch their purses and try not to show signs of fear in these moments, but suave behavior is difficult when the lights go out in a foreign airport full of perverts and thieves and spies and Communist police all around you.

  Yes sir, and that is when the last thing you need for a goddamn failsafe escape vehicle is a broken-down 49-year-old Cadillac sedan with a secondhand Yugo engine under the hood.

  . . .

  Whenever I think of Cuba now I see the Malecon at night and Tall Cops on shiny, black motorcycles circling around on the boulevard far down below my balcony at the Hotel Nacional, controlling the traffic and scanning the seawall for pimps and accused collaborators . . . I remember the War news on TV and the constant babble of Christiane Amanpour somewhere in Albania and Dan Rather waiting to be bombed in Belgrade and U.S. prisoners of war exhibited on worldwide TV with lumps on their heads and bleeding black eyes and their cheek muscles rigid with fear. I remember the War news raving twenty-four hours a day on both TV sets in our suite and people of all persuasions rushing in and out with crazy news and rumors. We went through thirty or forty weird meat sandwiches and forty-eight silver buckets of rare ice every twenty-four hours. The phones rang sporadically, often for no reason at all, and the few phone messages that got through were garbled and frightening: Havana was about to be bombed and/or destroyed by U.S. nukes full of napalm and nerve gas and vermin eggs. A man from Houston called and said a bomb blew the gates off the U.S. embassy last night. A lawyer from Sweden on a decadent-looking yacht called White Power said he’d heard on his shortwave radio that Clinton had officially declared a state of war against Cuba.

  It turned out not to be true—but real news travels slowly in Cuba and the military police went on Invasion Alert status anyway, and the streets were swept clean of degenerates and o
ther usual suspects who might be trying to swim naked in the harbor.

  . . .

  We were under close and constant surveillance the whole time. We were treated like rich prisoners of war. Our rooms were bugged, our baggage was drilled, cops roamed the hallways and had a key to every safe in the hotel.

  There is a serious crackdown in Cuba on Drugs, Prostitution, and Bombs. You want to grin and do the Salsa any time you have to stand in line for anything, even waiting for a cab. The urge to dance and spend dollars is an acceptable vice on this island, but anything else can be dangerous.

  Degenerates are no longer fashionable in Cuba, and anybody suspected of “collaborating” with the U.S. Embassy is a degenerate. That is the long and the short of it. War zones are always difficult, especially for the Enemy—and the Enemy, as we quickly discovered in Cuba, is us. You bet. You want to see the bogeyman, Bubba? Just look in the mirror. People in Cuba do not see the American Century the same way we do. If sheep go to heaven and goats go to hell, we are definitely the goats of this story.

  HST and James Carville, Little Rock, 1992 (Stacey Hadash)

  Witness III

  Statement by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson,

  March 13, 1990

  BE ANGRY AT THE SUN

  That public men publish falsehoods

  Is nothing new. That America must accept

  Like the historical republics corruption and empire

  Has been known for years.

  Be angry at the sun for setting

  If these things anger you. Watch the wheel slope and turn,

  They are all bound on the wheel, these people,

  those warriors.

  This republic, Europe, Asia.

  Observe them gesticulating,

  Observe them going down. The gang serves lies,

  the passionate

  Man plays his part; the cold passion for truth

  Hunts in no pack.

  You are not Catullus, you know,

  To lampoon these crude sketches of Caesar. You

  are far

  From Dante’s feet, but even farther from his dirty

  Political hatreds.

  Let boys want pleasure, and men

  Struggle for power, and women perhaps for fame,

  And the servile to serve a Leader and the dupes

  to be duped.

  Yours is not theirs.

  —Robinson Jeffers

  From the Aspen Times Daily,

  Monday, June 18, 1990

  KNOCK, KNOCK—WHO’S THERE?

  Editor:

  And so it’s done

  Who lost,

  Who won—

  Each and every

  One and all

  Both sides—

  Losers

  Winners—

  None

  Justice done

  A dis-service

  Did she—

  Deserve this

  Mockery?

  Did we?

  I think not

  In the end

  All we’ve got

  Are the rules

  We choose to play by

  Fair and square

  Even Steven

  Even though

  Who’s got the dough

  ’S better chance

  To finish even

  The good doctor

  Fought the law

  To a draw

  Called their bluff

  Had the stuff

  The courage and conviction

  To risk it all

  Bet his freedom—

  On a pair of deuces—

  Right and privacy,

  ’Gainst a black king—

  Of—hypocrisy

  And so—

  Now we know

  Tho’ the Hunter prevailed

  On this occasion,

  Chased the fox

  From his doors—

  Is that someone

  Knockin’ on yours?

  —Edward T. Cross

  (HST archives)

  . . .

  Why is it, Lord, that tonight I find myself writing feverishly on a 30-year-old IBM Selectric typewriter . . . It is sure as hell not a matter of convenience. This thing is slow and heavy and primitive. It is a sort of dark institutional red color that makes it appear to be twice as large as it is. Some people fear it—especially when they can see three or four brand-new customized Super Electrics laying idle around the house still wrapped in cellophane while the slow labored THUNK of these ancient keys slapping into the ribbon is the only sound in the room.

  To me it sounds like hardened steel ball-bearing tumblers dropping into place. Indeed, I know that sound well. It is a sound you never hear except in quasi-desperate situations where the Fate of NEARBY people depends entirely on yr. ability to solve a particularly stubborn vault combination lock when you are trying to flee for yr. life before a horde of boozed-up cannibal Nazis swarms in through the windows and butchers your whole family, only to find that all yr. guns and money and helicopter keys are hopelessly locked up in this goddamn dysfunctional safe that refuses to open.

  Ho ho. That is when you want to hear those beautiful little tumblers fall. Click click click, just like in Hollywood . . . These are the sounds that really matter in yr. life.

  Yes sir, and that is about all we need to know about atavistic typewriters and amateur safecrackers for today. Let us return now at once to the more violent days of yesteryear and my fight to the death with vicious crooked cops in that incredibly violent winter of 1990 when they tried to take me into the system.

  D.A. SNAGS THOMPSON IN SEX CASE

  BY DAVID MATTHEWS-PRICE, TIMES DAILY STAFF WRITER

  FEBRUARY 28, 1990

  Hunter S. Thompson, in an episode reminiscent of some of his books, has been charged with sexually assaulting a woman writer who came to his house ostensibly to interview him last week.

  Thompson, 52, surrendered at the District Attorney’s office on Monday and is free on $2,500 bond.

  Thompson told the Times Daily he’s innocent and believes the alleged victim isn’t so much a writer as she is a business woman who wants publicity for her new venture, which is selling sexual aids and lingerie.

  “She’s a business person in the sex business,” Thompson said.

  He said he’s also suspicious of the motives of the District Attorney, who had six officers search his Woody Creek house on Monday for drugs. Officers said they found a small quantity of suspected cocaine and marijuana.

  Thompson offered his own headline for the case: “Lifestyle-police raid home of ’crazed’ gonzo journalist; 11-hour search by six trained investigators yields nothing but crumbs.”

  Lab Results Pending

  District Attorney Milt Blakey said he’s waiting for the results of lab tests before deciding whether to bring drug charges.

  Thompson is already facing charges of third-degree sexual assault for allegedly grabbing the woman’s left breast and third-degree simple assault for supposedly punching her during an argument about whether the interview should take place in a hot tub. Both misdemeanors carry a maximum two-year sentence in the county jail.

  The woman making the allegations is a 35-year-old self-employed writer from St. Clair, Mich., who said she was visiting Snowmass Village with her husband last week.

  The Times Daily was unable to contact the alleged victim on Tuesday. However, her story about the Feb. 21 incident was detailed in an affidavit for an arrest warrant written by district attorney investigator Michael Kelly.

  Affidavit Tells Story

  The woman said she had written Thompson before arriving in Snowmass to request an interview. Such interviews are the fascination of out-of-town journalists. Just last week Time magazine published a first-person account of another writer’s attempt to interview Thompson, a columnist for the San Francisco Examiner and national editor of Rolling Stone magazine.

  The woman said she arrived at Thompson’s house in a taxicab, on Woody Creek Road, and was
greeted by a woman named Kat who introduced her to Thompson and two of his friends, identified only in the affidavit as Semmes and Tim.

  Drug Suspicions

  Within a few minutes, the woman suspected the group had been using drugs, the affidavit stated.

  “She suspected some members of the group might be using drugs because from time to time they would get up (and) go into the other room and then return in a minute or so,” the affidavit stated.

  Then, about three hours after arriving at the house, the alleged victim said she saw Thompson carrying a green grinder that produced a white powder substance, according to the affidavit.

  “This substance, which she believed to be cocaine, was then passed around to the group and that with the exception of Tim and herself each ingested (snorted) some of it into their noses by means of a straw,” the affidavit said.

  Paranoid Group

  “She observed the group becoming increasingly suspicious and paranoid,” the affidavit said.

  The woman writer said she got up and called her husband, a move which made the group suspicious that she might be an undercover agent.

  She assured them that she wasn’t an agent, she explained. Then Semmes and Tim left the house and Thompson gave her a tour of the residence.

  She said Thompson showed her his favorite room, which contained a hot tub, and he supposedly suggested that she join him for a dip in the water.

  Next, she claimed that Kat attempted to persuade her to join Hunter in the hot tub by telling her things such as “He’s a harmless guy,” “(He’s) a little crazy at times, but he will never hurt you,” “He’d really like you to get into the hot tub with him,” etc., according to the arrest warrant affidavit. “She told Kat she had no intention of getting into the tub and that it was her intention to conduct a professional interview,” the affidavit stated.

 

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