by Annie Brewer
“Good afternoon Gracie. I see congrats may be in order.” Boy she’s chipper.
“Um, I suppose. But I only took a pregnancy test so it has not been confirmed yet. Well, besides all of the obvious signs.”
“What signs?” She asks as she sits in her stool across from me.
“I’ve been sick, throwing up. I’m tired a lot. Oh yeah and I’m weepy, an emotional wreck if you will. Seriously I cry over everything these days.” She taps her pointer finger on her lip, and then says, “I need you to do a urine test for me. When was your last menstrual period?” I think back to when I had my last period, which was..two…four.
“Six weeks ago, give or take.” I state and then try to remember, “It was around August 16.”
“Okay, we are going to do a urine test, and then we’ll go from there.”
“Is it too soon to tell?” I ask stupidly. I don’t know how this pregnancy stuff works so I guess every question counts.
“No, it’s not. But this won’t be your first appointment. It’s just to confirm you are in fact pregnant.”
After I pee in a cup, which is really hard to do I might add. I wait patiently, more like fidgety in the room with my mom. We are both quiet. I’m sitting on the bed; my mom is in a chair next to me, holding my hand.
“Stop it Gracie. Your palms are sweaty.” I pull my hand away and wipe them on my jeans. “Sorry. Nerves I guess.”
The nurse walks in with a smile on her face. “It’s positive. You’re pregnant.” Does she smile like that at all teenage girls that enter her office? After hearing those words, part of me is screaming with excitement and joy. The other part, with fear. Fear of the unknown. Be afraid. Be very afraid. My subconscious shouts. I stuff the voice to the back of my mind and tell it to go to hell. I won’t be afraid. Not anymore. I can’t, there’s no point. I smile in response. My mom rubs my back.
The doctor pulls out this circular card and spins it around for a minute, she paused…”Well, from the looks of it, you are due around May 22nd. You will need to come back in about two weeks so we can do blood tests and get a sonogram so we can see the baby and confirm this. I will give you a pamphlet for now and it will give you some information about what to expect when you come back. There is a lot of stuff you’re going to need to know.” She gestures to me to get down and I take the pamphlet. Before she leaves the room she says, “Go out there and schedule an appointment for two weeks. Do you smoke or drink Gracie?” I shake my head. Just call me a good girl, or to be accurate, good girl gone preggo. “Good. Eat healthy, get plenty of sleep, do some light exercise, oh and Gracie?” I lift my head to meet her eyes, she smiles.
“Don’t worry about the emotional part. Every mother-to-be goes through that. Your hormones are all over the place. Just get plenty of rest. I’ll see you in two weeks.” What did I want to ask her about? Damn, I knew I would forget to write it down. “Thank you.” I say shaking her hand. My mother thanks her and we walk out to the desk to schedule my next appointment.
Chapter 7
“Fuck dude. I can’t believe you’re pregnant.” Mason says to me at my locker.
“I still can’t believe Nick dumped her.” Meg spits out.
“Yeah, I know. To both of you. And can you not shout something like that for everyone to hear? I’m not ready for the world to know yet.” I say, looking from one to the other.
“Whatever, I’m not surprised about Nick. He always put his future first. But yes, I’ll keep it down.” Mason says sheepishly.
“Well, can you blame him with the future he has before him?” Meg says “yes” at the same time Mason says “no, I mean yes”. I look at them and laugh. They disagree a lot but I’ve always wondered if they’d ever admit that they like each other more than friends. But this is not match maker, so I leave it alone.
“He was so excited when he told me he was accepted to USC. I can’t take that away from him.” I say to nobody in particular.
“Uh, newsflash! This is not about him now!” Meg is exasperated so I shut my mouth.
We walk to class where we all have English together, thankfully. Because so does Nick and he’s strolling in like everything is the same. He sees me right away and quickly takes a seat behind me. Both Mason and Meg hiss under their breaths. I laugh internally. They are so made for each other.
I stare at the front and wait for Mr. Phelps to give us our lesson. He is busy at the moment at his desk. I feel a tap on my shoulder. I freeze and pretend I don’t notice. My body stiffens.
“Gracie. We need to talk.” I hear him whisper but I tune him out and focus on the board. It’s white and long and there’s writing on it, but I can’t comprehend what it says. Maybe my eye sight is out of whack, along with the rest of my life.
I lean forward and place my elbows on my desk to put distance between us.
“Gracie, please.” He tries again. What could he possibly have to say? That he was wrong and he wants me to take him back so we can be a perfect little family? Not likely and even if he does, I can’t just up and leave now.
Meg looks at me and gives me a sympathetic smile. He then kicks my chair and I bite down hard to keep from lashing out at him and making a scene in front of the class.
“Mr. Matthews, is there a problem?” Mr. Phelps finally takes notice to this Neanderthal harassing me.
“No, I was just stretching and my foot accidentally hit the back of the chair. Sorry.” He explains. The class erupts in laughter.
“Bull shit!” Meg blurts, disguising it with a cough. She smiles at me, and then sends a death glare Nick’s way. I stifle a laugh. Very subtle Meg. I think. The teacher ignores her and continues his business.
When the bell rings, we grab our things and dart out the door.
“What the hell does that asshole want?” She asks, gritting her teeth.
“I don’t know. He wants to talk apparently.” I sigh.
“Gracie! Wait up!” Nick yells, making his way toward us.
“Damn, he’s persistent.” I observe. By the look on Meg’s face I can tell she is angry.
“Hey, Meg can I talk to Gracie for a minute?” She narrows her eyes at him, glances at me and I nod.
She glares at him and says, “You better not upset her Nick. I’ll kick your ass.” She gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze before she walks off, glaring at Nick until she’s out of sight.
“She’s kidding right?” He says in surprise. Kidding, no. She’s a tough chick and takes crap from nobody. That’s why I love her.
“What do you want Nick?” He shakes his thoughts from his head and sticks his hands in his pockets.
“Look, I’m sorry that I hurt you, Gracie.” Too late for that. I look down the hall and see Jana, my enemy watching us. I wonder if she knows.
“Well, I thought we made our peace. You go and do your thing and leave me alone.” I start to walk away as he reaches out and grabs my arm. I snatch it away. I will not cry over him.
“Do you really want to just throw your life away? Throw us away, like that?” Okay, now I’m just pissed off. I cross my arms over my chest and glare angrily at him.
“Listen, Nick I’m not sure you understand how close you are to an ass chewing. Let me just tell you, you made your choice and I made mine. So leave it the Hell alone.” I storm off but hear, “Gracie! What if you made the wrong one?” I just keep walking.
I head to lunch, feeling angry and satisfied. I’ll show him, that he made the wrong choice. I’m Gracie fucking Jordan!
“Gracie!” I hear Meg’s voice. I look around and see her at a table with Mason so I head towards them.
“Hey. I guess congrats is in order?” Lauren. Another good friend approaches me. I smile and nod. “Yeah, thanks.” I guess. How the hell does she know?
“I’m sorry about Nick. He’s such a douche. All jocks are, they only think about themselves. So are you really going to raise this baby alone?” What’s with the interrogation?
“Uh, yes.” This was the last thing I needed. I’
m not some damsel in distress. I’m sure pretty soon the whole school will be talking about me having a baby and being alone blah blah blah. This sucks!
“So what did he want? I swear if he made you cry, I’m going to break into his house while he’s sleeping and cut his balls off and feed them to my cat.” I laugh, she’s not kidding. She’s been in fights and I think she’d actually do something that drastic to cause bodily harm.
“Oh he just apologized for leaving me. And I told him off. No biggie.”
I know she is not buying it but she just goes back to eating her lunch-which is making me queasy.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” Mason asks, taking a bite of his apple.
“No, I can’t keep much down these days.” It sucks. Everything I look at either smells like shit or tastes like feet. I have no idea what to expect, but I certainly hope it doesn’t last the entire nine months. I sit at lunch most days and either read my magazines or do homework to distract myself from feeling nauseous.
“Well, well it looks like little Mrs. Prim and Proper isn’t so innocent is she?” And so it begins. Jana, the head of the cheerleading squad stands by our table-with her cheer bitches. They are all in cheer mode, hands on hips, chests sticking out. I wonder if they’re going to bust out in a cheer. Jana always liked Nick and hated me when we started dating. She has to know something.
“Can I help you and your little posse? I’m kind of busy at the moment and don’t feel like socializing with a snob such as yourself.”
She smirks at me. She’s a pretty girl if she wasn’t such a mean bitch. But she’ll never be anything more than that with that pissy face she shows all the time. “We’re not through here.” She stalks off. She sashays her perfect hips and her long platinum blonde hair that sways with her movement.
“Okay then bye bye.” As they walk away Meg smiles at me. “Girl, you held your own. Great job. Maybe you’re not as fragile as we all thought you were. Not that I really thought that.” I look down at her tray and make a face.
“What?”
“Oh, my stomach is growling but nothing on that plate looks appetizing.” I open my purse and take out some saltine crackers. That’s all I ever eat lately. That and Ginger Ale. But frankly, I’m sick of those two things. I take a bite of my cracker, which tastes like cardboard.
“It will get better Gracie. Hang in there.” I look at her and raise a brow.
“How do you know?”
“Uh, well I don’t exactly. I was just trying to make you feel better. But I can be brutally honest, if you like.” I stand up and grab my bag. “I’m going to my locker. I can’t sit here any longer and not eat, or just eat my crappy crackers. I’ll see you both later.” Meg gets up and takes her tray to the trash and dumps it.
“Want us to come with you?” I shake my head. “No, I just need time alone for a little bit. I’ll see you in chemistry.” I walk through the hall to my locker. When I open it and exchange my books, I am hit with a sudden emotion I can’t control. I lean my back against the lockers and slide down to the floor, tears overtaking me. I guess I can’t control them all the time. Damn, I look like a weepy willow. It’s one of the worst things of pregnancy at this point. The doctor said all girls go through it. Lucky us. I’m never this emotional so it’s foreign to me and I’m not handling it all that well.
“Excuse me?” I open my eyes and turn my head to the sound of the sexy deep voice I hear to my left. Am I dreaming? I sure feel like I’m dreaming. This guy standing in front of me now is not of this planet, I have to be dreaming. Wow. Oh God, I must look hideous. I stand up and clear my throat.
“Hi.” He flashes a bright and perfect smile that lights up his face. Where did he come from?
“Sorry to bother you. I was delivering coffee to my mother and saw you alone on the floor; crying. So I thought I’d check on you. I’m not a creepy stalker dude or anything.” I look at him confused. His mother?
“And your mother would be?” I ask.
“Mrs. Jenkins. Principle Jenkins, I mean.” A light bulb goes off as I realize who his mother is.
“Holy shit, your mom is the principle?” He raises an eyebrow and his top lip curls a little. Oh God, he is gorgeous!
“Surprised?” Yeah, you’re too hot to be her son.
“No, I just…it took me a minute to put two and two together. I’m a little slow.” And your beauty is distracting. I’m probably drooling in front of him like an idiot. I wipe my mouth just to be safe.
Chapter 8
“So what are you doing out here by yourself? And more importantly, why are you crying?” I look away afraid of looking into his gorgeous green-blue eyes that I’d get distracted and stare.
“Um, just having a bad day I guess.” I lean against my locker and clutch my books in my hands against my chest. His bangs hang over his left eye and I just want to brush it back. It’s driving me crazy! Say something!
“So what’s your name?” I ask casually.
“Carter. And I’m sure you can guess my last name now.” He teases.
“Um, Morris? Davis?” We laugh. Wow, I’m actually laughing.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Were we talking?
“Talk about what?” I seriously forgot what we were talking about. Names I think.
“What got you upset? You know, when I’m feeling down I drink coffee. It helps.” I’ll make you feel better. I roll my eyes, discreetly. I swear I think my hormones are screaming at me. They are out of control!
“Okay, first of all, ewe. I hate coffee. And second, I’m just dealing with drama.” And I’m sure if you knew the situation, you’d walk away because that’s what guys do.
“Sorry to bother you. But I got to get back to work now. See ya around maybe. What was your name?” He asks as he starts walking backwards.
“Gracie.” I shyly reply.
“Nice to meet you Gracie. Hope I see you again.” He winks then takes off in the other direction. My breath gets caught in my throat.
Okay, so one thing I’ve always wished I was good at was winking. I can’t wink to save my life. I taught myself to whistle and blow a bubble, which took me hours in the bathroom in front of the mirror to master those two. But when I tried winking in the mirror, I always did the same thing, squint both of my eyes and my top lip would rise along with the rest of my mouth which after a while, I just looked ridiculous. So I gave up. But damn, that scene that just took place completely set my blood on fire. It took every ounce of strength-and believe me, I have none-not to ask him to come back and do that again. Oh my God. Where did that creature come from? Oh yeah, my principle’s womb. I guess I can see it; she’s a pretty petite middle aged woman with dark hair and pretty eyes. His eyes, they are so expressive. I could get lost in them.
“Uh, Gracie what are you staring at?” I whip my head around to see my best friend standing next to me with a curious expression.
“Uh, nothing?” She crosses her arms in a “I don’t believe you” like gesture.
“Okay, I just met the principle’s son. Her freaking son. Oh my God Meg, he’s gorgeous. You should see him.”
“You mean Carter?” She asks, grinning. I gape at her.
“You know him?” I’m appalled. How does she know him and I never met him.
“Well, yeah he works at the coffee shop we always go to.” Oh that’s why. I don’t drink coffee. Maybe you should start now. She goes to the coffee shop a lot with her family. Wait.
“You mean that’s the place you spend hours surfing the net?” She grins mischievously. Then looks me over
“You look like hell. Did he see you like this and still talk to you?” I love her blunt honesty. “Were you crying Gracie?”
“Yes, but he didn’t care. And yes again but he didn’t care. He implied I should drink coffee. Apparently it helps when he’s having a bad day. Oh so then he actually caught me crying, then he asked what was wrong and winked at me before he left.” I start shaking her shoulders like a madman.
“Oh
no, not the winking. I know how much you hate that everyone and their mothers can wink. Except you.”
“Thanks Meg. Did I ever tell you what a great friend you are?” She laughs and grabs my shoulder. “I just tell it like I see it. I’m an honest bitch, which is why most girls hate me.”
“Welcome to the club sista. So when are you going to the coffee shop again?” I ask, as I adjust my books to the other hand. She cocks her head to the side.
“You don’t like coffee. And it’s more of a little quaint café. It’s not far from here but it’s off the highway.” She states matter of factly.
“Well, there’s a first time for everything.” And damn if I’m not right about that. I wonder if she’ll put two and two…
“Wait a minute.” Yep, there it goes, light bulb-off.
“I see where this is going. You just want to go and gawk at a certain someone, don’t you? What happened to your “I’m not looking for anyone, a relationship is the last thing I need” attitude? I should have known she’d throw my words back at me.
“Oh please, this is not a relationship thing. I just want to admire him from a distance, or up close. Whatever.” She laughs and grabs my shoulders.
“You know I love you.” And I do. She’s always had my back. In middle school some chick wanted to fight me because I was talking to a guy she liked. It was harmless but she thought I was trying to steal him. He wasn’t even hers to steal. Girls can be so petty sometimes. But Meg got in her face and told her to leave me alone or she’d throw a chair at her head. It was crazy. But I always knew she’d back me up no matter what. And that’s why I told her about my pregnancy first. I knew she would be totally supportive, despite the circumstance.
“I’ve got to get to Chemistry. I have a freaking test.” We walk together to my class. She has a class across the hall from me. I hug her and she mumbles “good luck”.
I think I flunked it.
“Hey mom, can we go to the book store this weekend? I want to buy “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”. She smiles at me as we put away the dishes.
“Absolutely. Are you ready for your appointment next week? You’ll get to see a sonogram of the baby.” I sit down at the table and hug my shoulders. It’s still a bit surreal, the whole thing. But I’ve been finding myself singing to my tummy when I don’t even realize it. This would be a good time to write. I head up stairs and grab my journal from my desk drawer and plop on my bed…
