by Annie Brewer
She takes my hand, her warm, soft hand comforting my sweaty one. “I’m sorry Gracie. God, I’m so sorry for snapping at you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” Her voice is soft and full of remorse. I shake my head in response.
“No, you’re right. I’ve been a brat and I’m sorry you’ve had to listen to me bitch and moan all the time.” I lean my head back against the wall, staring at the door to the dressing room. I hear muffled voices in the next room to our left and wonder if they heard any of Meg’s loud screaming.
“I’m scared and I don’t know how to get over it. This is such a big change. My body, mind and soul will be altered in ways I’m not sure I can handle.”
“You can handle it. You’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. Remember the time we went horseback riding on my uncle’s ranch and you fell off?” I nod, remembering the awesome and painful experience. “You got right back on and rode him again. You were relentless and would not let Rider win. I was so proud of you.” Luckily it wasn’t too bad but I hurt my leg pretty good. A smile touches my lips. After that summer, I became a pro. I even helped groom the horses for two summers after that. Uncle Richie even let me have one, but he kept him at the ranch for me so I could ride him when I came to visit. I named him Rider, he was a beautiful brown color but his hair was darker than the rest of him. I laugh a little. Good times.
“I know it’s not the same thing, but you belittle yourself too much. You can handle this pregnancy with grace and confidence. I have faith in you my awesome fighter friend. I’ll be here the whole time, holding your hand or pushing your ass out. Either way, I won’t let you fall. Too hard anyway.” Now my eyes are misting again. I lean my head on her shoulder, grateful for never failing love and support.
“I’m scared Meg. What if I really like him and he even likes me but then there’s this secret between us that could shatter every good thing in my screwed up life. I couldn’t handle another rejection.”
She lets out a loud breath shaking her head. “Nick really screwed you up. Okay look at me.” I lift my head and face her, feeling really tired. “First of all, Carter is nothing like Nick. He’s sweet, caring and more mature being that he’s older. I don’t see him being a complete douche or self-righteous and arrogant. Give him a chance. I’ll bet he’ll surprise you.” Nick wasn’t always that way. He had some good qualities, I’m sure.
“Okay so help me pick out an outfit or dress.” She smiles and hugs me.
“I love you Gracie. I just want good things for you and if it happens to be a baby, then so be it. But you need to think positive and be happy. God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. Remember that.” She gently pushes strands of hair behind my ear the way my mother does. It’s a comfort I’ll never grow tire of.
“I love you too Meg. Thank you for always being there.” We get more clothes for me to try on. It takes more than thirty minutes to finally settle on something that flatters my figure, even if it was just a small pudge barely peeking through. I want to hide it.
“Oh Gracie, he’s going to turn into putty at the sight of you.” I twirl around where the bottom flares out. It’s a black gown with a silver sheer look to it. It’s simple but also very elegant. It hits my feet, which I still shaved my legs.
“Thanks Meg. Do you think it’s too long? Boring? Plain?”
“Relax, it’s perfect.” She assures me. I’m standing in front of my long floor length mirror in my bathroom, smoothing my dress down with my sweaty palms.
“You need some earrings.” Meg tells me. She stands behind me fixing my hair up in a perfect bun with just enough strands left out-curling them on each side of my face.
“I’ve got some.” I take out my jewelry box from the cabinet under the sink and pick some silver hoops.
“Are you nervous?” Meg asks me, smiling at my reflection. I laugh at her timing to ask such a question.
“Well, to say I wasn’t would be a lie. But I think I got this. I think. I mean, I have been on a date before.” As true as that is, it’s been awhile since Nick and I have actually gone on a real date. Part of me is anxious and excited. Dates with Nick consisted of putt putt golf and loud concerts of bands I was vaguely familiar with. Still, they were fun at the time. I can only hope Carter has something better in mind.
“Oh my word!” My mother squeals from the doorway.
I turn to her elated expression. “I’m guessing that’s a good reaction?” She laughs, walking in to asses my appearance, hands over her mouth.
“You look dazzling Gracie. Absolutely stunning. Oh this boy is going to be putty in your hands when he sees you.”
“Hey that’s what I said too.” Meg states.
“I’m just so excited to meet this boy. Is he cute?”
“Cute? That’s for boys! He’s a man and a hot one at that!” Meg comments rather enthusiastically.
I’m really excited for my mother to finally meet him too. Regardless of what becomes of us, he’s still my friend and my…boss? “Yeah, his blue eyes are so captivating-the color of the ocean. Beautiful.” I say dreamily. They both look at me with surprised faces, like I just said the most absurd thing they’d ever heard.
“I knew you always had a thing for him! I knew she would Mary. I kept telling her but she refused to listen or believe me.” Satisfied to hear that she was right all along, she goes back to finishing my hair.
“Well, I’m sure boys weren’t really on her mind much lately. Ya know, with everything else going on.” My mom absentmindedly starts rubbing my shoulders, not realizing she’s putting me in a trance. It feels so good, my eyes start to close. She had a knack for giving massages.
“I’m really glad she’s got you Meg. She’d probably be lost and alone if it wasn’t for you. Thanks for looking out for my little girl.” She stops moving her hands and I see in the mirror that her eyes are glistening, wet with tears.
I turn around and hug her. “Don’t cry mom. You’ll make me cry and I’ll ruin my make up.” She pulls away abruptly, wiping her eyes.
“Oh look at me. I’m such a sap.” She says.
“I love your daughter like a sister and would never let anything happen to her. You know that. I’m glad to help her through this.” Meg hugs my mom and she gets teary all over again. Oh boy, women.
I look at myself once more, satisfied with my bun on top of my head, make up applied perfectly and my dress..rockin’. But something is missing.
“Crap.” I walk out of the bathroom, into my room with my mother and Meg in tow.
“What’s wrong?” Meg asks. I open my desk drawer becoming frantic of one of my most valuable possessions being lost.
“Ah-ha!” I find my mother’s locket-old and rusty thing-and open the clasp to put it on my neck. My mother smiles and takes it from me.
“Let me help.” Once she snaps it together, the metal rubs against my skin and I feel a sigh of relief slip through my lips. It doesn’t go with the dress really but it is something I’ve always worn as a child, any time I was nervous or excited. I used to never take it off until I became a teenager and stopped wearing jewelry. It’s a locket with a picture of my mother and grandmother Grammy. While wearing it, I always felt closer to them and my fears or doubts would subside. Now it might seem silly but as a kid, I believed it was powerful.
“I remember that locket. I’m so glad you still wear it. Grammy would be happy too.” She takes my hands and looks me over again. “You look so beautiful.” She gently caresses my cheek, and then rubs my belly for good luck I suppose, before she leaves the room.
That’s when we hear the doorbell.
Chapter 22
“Ready?” Meg asks walking to the door.
“I think. I mean, I am. I am ready.” Why was I getting so nervous? Be cool, Gracie. I smooth my dress again for the millionth time.
“Now we can just go down there like normal girls or you can make a dramatic Cinderella entrance and glide down the stairs.” I give her a comical look, pointing
to my belly. “Oh right, you can’t do that. Well, I can do it for you.”
“I think I’ll just walk down the stairs like a normal person. And hope I don’t trip in the process.” Meg laughs at that.
“Suit yourself.” As we enter the hall outside of my bedroom door, I hear his voice. It sends butterflies soaring through my body. Good God, just his voice has a crazy effect on me. I take a deep breath.
“I’ll go get her. She should be ready to.” I hear my mom tell him.
“I’m here.” I announce from the top of the stairs. I slowly take each step carefully, concentrating on not tripping over my dress and falling on my face. Talk about a dramatic entrance, I’m sure Meg would appreciate that.
I look over to my right below and see Carter staring at me in awe. He’s wearing a blue and white striped polo shirt and khaki pants with black dress shoes. My breath hitches in my throat at the sight of him. His blue eyes gleam as he stares me up and down as I descend the stairs, with a slight smile on his beautiful face. I become aware that the room is silent as I hit the last step. I keep a firm grip on the banister once Carter is in front of me. At that moment, I feel like Cinderella at the ball-meeting her prince.
It occurs to me Carter looks nervous. He clears his throat and reaches for my hand, helping me step down to the tile in our hallway by the front door.
“You look. Wow.” He finally says. I smile shyly.
“You too.” I reply.
“Awe, you both look amazing.” My mother chimes in, hands clasped in front of her face as if preparing for a cheer. My face heats up in embarrassment, hoping my mother doesn’t humiliate me.
“Oh you look beautiful Gracie.” I hear Tyler’s voice from the top of the stairs. I look up and smile at him; unable to speak-afraid my voice will crack. I am feeling so overwhelmed by everything.
“Can I get a picture of you two?”
“Mom, we’re not going to prom. It’s just a date. No one takes pictures.”
“Oh come on, this is your first date in a long time. I want to remember it. I mean, I want you to remember it.” She amends. I laugh and turn to Carter for help.
“It’s cool with me. Hey can I get a copy of that Mrs. Jordan?”
“Certainly. And please call me Mary. Come here Tyler, come meet someone.” He comes down the stairs and stands beside me looking at Carter.
“This is Carter. Can you say hi? Carter this is my little brother Tyler.” Carter bends down to his level and holds his hand out.
“It’s nice to meet you Tyler. I’m Carter.” Tyler shakes his hand, smiling approvingly.
“Do you play Xbox?” Tyler asks.
“Do I? Well, I’ve mastered every Zelda and Donkey Kong game there is.” We all laugh.
“Okay, well we’re off now.”
“Wait, I forgot my picture. I was so busy talking, silly me. Come on now, get closer.” I give my mother the death glare, but scoot a little closer to Carter’s side. He puts his arm around me, placing his hand on my back just between my shoulder blades. Since there is only skin and no clothing, the contact sets my body off into flames. I try to stay still and will the sweat between my breasts away. Is it hot in here? I wipe my forehead, not wanting to be too obvious but the outside night air would be really good right about now.
“One more.” My mother beams, oblivious to my discomfort. Carter angles his body towards mine but frowns when he notices my expression.
“Are you okay?” He asks in a low tone for only me to hear.
“It’s really hot in here. I need some air.”
“Yes, it is hot in here.” He winks at me. I glare at him when he gives me a “what did I do?” look. I smile once more for the camera.
“Perfect. These are just wonderful. I can’t wait to show them to your father. He should be here any moment.” I move my lips around to stop the tingling numb feeling from my face. Seriously one more picture and I’m going to go mad.
“Okay, well we’re off now.”
“You said that the last time and look you’re still here.” Meg retorts.
“And this time I mean it. Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” I say as I grab my purse and my black sweater jacket.
“Hey, I’m not missing my best friend’s first date.” She wraps me in a hug and whispers in my ear, “Enjoy yourself Gracie. You deserve this.” I pull back to look into her sincere face and smile.
“Thanks Meg.”
“Go get you some Carter action and report back to me.” I shove her in the shoulder giggling. I know it would never go that far but I find it funny anyway.
“Honey, I want you to have a good night. Relax and forget all your troubles for one night.” As if I could forget my troubles. Putting them aside, maybe but forgetting them? It’s not likely. My dad walks in right as we’re finally leaving.
“Daddy, you’re just in time.”
“What are we, having a party up in here?” He hugs me then steps back to give me a once over.
“I think you’re a little too dressed up darlin’.”
“Dad, this is Carter.” He looks at Carter and reaches out his hand. “He’s taking me out tonight.”
“My little girl is going out on a date? Well, I’ll be damned. It’s about time you get out and enjoy life.” Carter shakes his hand.
“It’s nice to meet you Mr. Jordan.”
“Carter, we’re on a first name basis in this household. Call him Allen.” My mom smiles.
“I’ll remember that. Thank you. And don’t worry; I’ll bring your daughter home at a decent hour.”
“Oh no worries Carter, keep her out as long as you like. She doesn’t get out enough. We trust her.” Wow, I’ve never heard him say that before. He must be drunk or on happy pills, which is crazy because he does neither. It is Saturday night and I normally stay out late when I’m at Meg’s house.
“Okay thanks dad. We’re leaving now.” I steer Carter away, or at least try to. We don’t get far when Tyler claims our attention. “Hey maybe soon you can come over and we can play some Xbox.” Carter musses my brothers hair, smiling.
“I’d like that little buddy.” He gives Carter a hug and I can’t help but watch in awe. My brother was never that friendly with Nick. Or maybe Nick was just not as easy going with Tyler. But still, it gave me a sense of comfort to know that Carter’s actions were sincere when it came to my brother. I give him a bear hug as we make our way out the door. Finally, I get some fresh air. And freedom.
I wave to everyone, reaching for the door handle but Carter is quicker than me, shaking his head. “Nu uh. I will open the door for you.” I raise my eyebrows in surprise, but say nothing. Carter is a real gentleman.
“Good to know chivalry isn’t dead.” I smile at him as I pull myself up into his truck. “Thank you Carter.” He smiles his glorious smile, which sets off the butterflies in my belly-or was that starvation? His truck is very clean-like squeaky clean. It looks like it had just been through a wash and vacuum before he came over.
“Hey did you just clean your truck out?” I ask as he hops into his seat. I’d only been in it once but I could tell this wasn’t how it always looks. Or maybe it is. I could be wrong.
“Uh, yeah. I had it vacuumed and washed today.” I smile in approval and relax against the seat. “Do you like it?” He asks, looking hopeful.
“Yes, it’s very clean and nice.”
“Good. Glad you approve.”
“I’m sorry about my family. They can be a bit much sometimes.”
“No, don’t worry. They were just fine. They seem like a great bunch.” I cross my legs feeling slightly exposed. I absentmindedly rub my left leg-it was smooth but I feel a few hairs rising to the surface through my dress and I just shaved. What the hell.
“Are you cold?” He asks, noticing me fidget.
I shake my head. “No, I’m okay. Thanks.”
“I’m sorry; did you want to listen to music?” He asks reaching for the stereo.
“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind
talking.” He grips the steering wheel with his left hand while his right hand sits loosely in his lap. I memorize the shape and length of his fingers, wondering what they’d feel like on my skin. But then I remember for a brief moment they were on my back earlier. I guess I didn’t get enough of it then.
“You look beautiful tonight.” Startled, I glance up at his face-blushing.
“Thank you. You look hot yourself.” I flinch at my own boldness. But Carter just laughs.
“Thank you. I’m glad you approve.” He grins, and then winks at me.
“My brother seems to take to you pretty well, which is unusual for him.”
“I have that effect on kids.” He says proudly, it’s fairly obvious. Nick only played ball with him a handful of times but he wasn’t as easygoing or playful the way Carter seems to be.
“It shows. Thanks for paying attention to him. My ex didn’t have nearly the effect on him. I mean he liked my brother okay but didn’t pay much attention to him.”
“He probably doesn’t have any younger siblings. I have older sisters in which one has children and I’m very close with them, especially my niece Maddie.” He runs his hand through his dark hair-which I find to be pretty sexy and I can’t stop staring. I finally peel my eyes away from him long enough to glance out my window, unsure of our location. It looks more country than suburban.
“Where are we going?” I ask curious. He glances at me, his expression is unreadable.
“Oh I thought we’d...no I thought I’d just drop you off in some field in the boonies and watch you try to find your way home.” I raise my eyebrows in shock and look to my right where there’s a field and a wooded area, which looks really creepy. I shift my gaze back to Carter who seems amused.
“Do you always try to freak your dates out? And by the way, that place looks creepy. You’d have to pry me off this seat to get me out there.” He starts laughing and I punch him in the arm which makes him laugh harder. “You’re so cruel.” I stick my tongue out at him.
“And you’re so naïve, by the way, who taught you how to punch?” Not sure if it’s an insult or compliment, I clench my fist in my lap. I do have a good punch but I didn’t use any force on him and he’s lucky. Now if he cares to test me, I’ll gladly challenge him. He smirks at me. “Do you bowl?” I’m momentarily confused by his question but nod anyway. “Good, because that’s what we’re going to do first. I’m quite the pro, not to toot my own horn, but I kick ass.”
