by Annie Brewer
“Maybe.” I reply, suddenly tired. I guess going home is not such a bad idea. I need a nap.
“Are you okay?” My hand clasps onto his as he is shifting gears. His fingers intertwine mine for the rest of the drive home. I lean my head against the window; the cold glass on my skin feels good.
When we pull up to my house, I’m jolted awake from my quick snooze, not realizing I had fallen asleep. My cheek feels numb from the cold window pressed against my skin. Carter meets me at my door and helps me out. I’m a little drowsy as we’re walking up the walkway. I look around, not able to help the feeling of something being off but not sure what it is. “You don’t have to walk me to the door. I know you need to go.”
“I just want to make sure you get in okay.” As soon as I open the door, my eyes widen with the biggest smile on my face.
“Surprise!”
Chapter 39
First of all, I nearly scream in shock. Secondly, pieces start to form in my head at the events of today, with why my parents and Carter were acting so weird, trying to get me to leave the house this morning. And thirdly, I turn around and scan the street, noticing more cars along the curb than usual. Oh and let’s not forget the “Baby Shower” banner that hangs in the door.
I can’t decide whether to cry or scream with glee. I walk in and find my mother, Meg and my grandmother smiling at me. I kiss my Grammy and give her a big wet kiss on her cheek.
“Oh my God, what’s all this?” The living room is decorated with streamers and the banister has pink and purple balloons taped along the edge. A table sits in the family room with a baby decorated plastic cloth covers it with presents filling the space.
“Are you surprised?” Carter asks from behind me. I smile at him, tears falling down my cheeks.
“Hey Gracie, congrats on the baby girl. I can’t wait to meet her.” Cassie appears at my side. I hug her and look at Carter over her shoulder. He’s grinning and then winks.
“Did you orchestrate this?”
“Not entirely, it was Meg and your mom for the most part. But I did plan the driving lesson. You know, because I’m sneaky like that. Of course, I thought it was a good excuse to get you out of the house. And plus, I remembered you saying no one taught you to drive so I figure this was the perfect cause.” And that’s why I love him, always thinking of ways to make me happy. I kiss him hard as more overwhelming tears fall from my eyes.
“Thank you! God, thank you! This is amazing!”
“Well, bestie how was your driving lesson?” Meg smirks hugging my shoulders. I laugh at her and lay my head on her shoulder.
“I’m so surprised by all of this. I had no idea. But I gotta say, I had an amazing lesson with Carter.” I wiggle my eye brows and slowly Meg catches my drift.
“You guys did it in the car? You naughty girl, you.”
“I wish, or more correctly my naughty side wishes. But we didn’t get that far. It did get nice and steamy though.”
“Hey, I’m going to take off. My job here is done. I’ll be back later.” I pout briefly but instantly perk back up and give him a kiss.
“Okay, thanks for the driving lesson. I had the best time. I can’t wait to do it again next time.” I wiggle my eyebrows at him and he laughs, pulling me closer.
“You better stop that or I’m going to take you upstairs.”
“Okay enough mushy stuff here you two. We’ve got a party to get started.” Grammy appears at my side. She pats Carter’s back and thanks him for his help.
Once he leaves, I turn to look at the wonderful group of women that are celebrating this amazing day with me. “I just want to say that this was a complete surprise. Mom, you are sneaky. You definitely had your poker face on today.”
“Of course, sweetheart. I’m glad Carter came up with the driving lesson idea. Did you learn a lot?” I stifle a giggle that gives away my meaning of “lesson” and simply just nod my head.
“Yeah, I’ll say she learned a lot about driving a stick.” Meg blurts out, a grin on her face that makes me squirm. I nudge her shoulder to shut up and she just laughs at me.
I walk into the kitchen where there are trays of turkey sandwiches, fruit salad, veggies with ranch dip and cookies displayed on the counter and island. My stomach rumbles loudly.
“You look beautiful.” Grammy appears next to me, digging into the veggie tray.
“Thank you Grammy. I’m glad you could make it.” She kisses my nose.
“Carter is a keeper. I’m so glad he stuck around.” I smile, grabbing a couple of triangular shaped sandwiches and fruit. “Me too.” I kiss her cheek.
“You know, Grandpa would be so proud of you, my sweet girl. You’ve turned into an amazing woman.” My eyes water, and I swipe at them before tears leak out.
“Thank you. I miss him so much Grammy, so much. I really wish he could see me graduate…and have my baby.”
“He’s with you in spirit, remember that.” She whispers and then leaves the kitchen. I look around and wonder if he was in the room with me, if he could see me. Would he be proud of me? I hope so.
“Well, you look beautiful Gracie.” I look down and notice I’m still in my sweats, feeling a little self-conscious.
“I wish he would have at least made me wear something more appropriate since he knew what I was walking into. How are you Sylvia?”
“I’m good. Are you ready for your birthday coming up?” Oh yeah, my eighteenth birthday.
It’s hard to remember my birthday when other things occupy my mind. “I guess. I’ll be legal, so I guess that’s something.” Not like it really matters.
After another thirty minutes of eating and conversing, Meg gets everyone’s attention. There are a few women I’m not familiar with but I’m assuming they know my mother.
“Excuse me everyone, it’s time for the mother-to-be to open her gifts.” She waves her hand toward me. “Gracie, come sit up here please.” I make my way to the table with lovely wrapped gifts and sit in a fold out chair. “Okay, when you unwrap the gifts I hand you tell me what they are and who they’re from. I’m going to write it all down in my nifty notebook.” I smile and nod and start opening.
I open the first one which is from Cassie and read the sweet card. “Oh wow, look at all this stuff.” I say as I find the bag full of bottles, diapers, wipes, bibs and onesies. “Thank you Cassie.” I repeat the stuff to Meg to record. I move on to the next gift which is more bottles, a diaper bag and baby toys.
As I’m opening more presents, it starts to sink in, feel more real that this baby of mine is coming and I’ll get to meet her soon. I pull a ‘Rachel’ at the prospect of opening more gifts being a bit too overwhelming. But I push through anyway.
Gifts:
Diaper Genie- Nancy
Mobile- Liz (friend of Sylvia’s)
Bassinette- Grammy and mom
Car seat- Grammy and mom
“Okay, I’m going to finish this later. Can we move on to some games or perhaps eat some cake? Something that doesn’t turn me into a weeping willow?” I move the gifts to the side and pick up the trash.
“Okay, moving on. Right now, I’m passing along some yarn for everyone to cut, guessing the measurements of Gracie’s baby bump.” Oh this should be fun.
Everyone plays and a woman my mother knows comes the closest to my measurement. Though my bump is not terribly big, this game makes me feel slightly overwhelmed. But I put on a happy face because by God, it’s supposed to be fun and these ladies are taking time out of their day to be with me.
Next we do some crossword puzzles and word searches-which I practically majored in. I start clapping my hands together excitedly. No one can beat me, I’m unbeatable.
Cassie wins the word search. Another woman Janet wins the crossword puzzle. I had two words left that kept me from winning. I was so close. I guess overconfidence kind of screws you over.
“Okay now we are playing this game I heard about; it’s called ‘Name The Children From These TV Families’ this should b
e fun. I’m sure most of you know all of these.
1. Fred and Wilma’s child on the Flintstones
2. Who are Ross Gellar’s two children’s names on Friends?
3. Name the three kids from The Simpsons
4. Name the four children on Family Ties
5. Name the Huxtible children-there are five of them
6. Name the six Brady Bunch kids
Okay, ready. Go!”
I get the first three done right away-I watched too much TV apparently. But what gets me stuck is the kids on Family Ties. I can’t remember two of them. I knew the characters that Michael J. Fox and Justine Bateman play but the other two totally stump me. Damn. If the Wonder Years kids were listed on there, I’d remember…or Boy Meets World. Oh, I miss that show! I leave that blank and move on, getting all of Bill Cosby’s kids down and of course the Brady Bunch gang. Who doesn’t remember that gang? I sure miss old TV. The shows we have now are stupid and senseless.
“Time!” Damn, I did not win. I suck.
“Yay, I won. Does it mean I watch too much TV if I got them all right?” Sylvia asks.
“No, it just means you’re a badass! And you beat me.” I stick my tongue out playfully. She hugs me; I hug her back just grateful to be playing these games. I’m not really a sore loser, not like Carter is.
Once we finish the games, its cake time-my favorite part. The cake is exquisite, made by Sylvia herself. She bakes cakes on her free time. The cake is chocolate marble with pink icing-decorated with a bottle, rattle and the words “it’s a girl” written on it. My mouth waters and I almost don’t want it to be eaten but instead displayed on the wall, like a picture.
“Wow, you’re an amazing cake baker and decorator.” I tell her, trying not to drool. I’m weak when it comes to sweets.
“I’ll bake you one for your birthday if you want.” My eyes light up and I hug her.
“You don’t have to do that.” She waves her hand off like it’s no big deal. “Thank you.” It’s moments like these I’m counting my blessings, lucky to have such thoughtful people in my life. I smile.
Chapter 40
An hour and one full stomach later I’m lounging on the couch watching One Tree Hill reruns-my biggest guilty pleasure.
“Well, I’ve got to go. But this turned out to be a success. You got a lot of nice things.”
“Thank you so much Meg. You’re the best, best friend ever. It was a wonderful party. And yes, I got some great stuff.” My mother and Grammy got me a bassinette, car seat and a few other important items that are needed before Kylie arrives.
I get up to give her a hug but she puts her hand up to stop me and leans down to kiss me on the cheek. “It was my pleasure. I love ya girl. See you later.” She waves as she leaves the room. After she leaves, I curl up on the couch and crash.
With graduation approaching, and me being back in school, I find it harder these days to concentrate on anything including school work. I see Nick in the halls and sometimes at lunch but he barely acknowledges me. I have the last half of school off. Sometimes I hang out at the café until Carter’s shift is over, other times I go home and sleep. Though driving this late in my pregnancy proves to be difficult but at least I’m not driving a stick. My mind wanders back to the day of my driving lesson with Carter. It makes me smile remembering our intimate moment.
“Mason and I are going to the movies tonight. Do you and Carter want to come?” Meg asks as we’re walking to our lockers.
“I don’t know yet, I’ll ask.”
“Your birthday is this weekend. The big one-eight.”
“I know crazy huh?” I put my books up and close my locker, feeling tired. Apparently it’s normal to be exhausted all the time. I can be doing absolutely nothing and just all of a sudden I get so fatigued, my energy drains to nothing. This has got to get better. I’ve only got a little over a month left. I’d like to enjoy it if possible.
“What are you doing for your birthday?”
“I’m having dinner with my parents and Carter’s family. And then Carter has something planned that night.”
“Oooo lala. Carter’s going give you another lesson, isn’t he?” Meg teases.
“It’s not like that.” Is it? “I mean, I’m sure he just wants to spend a night alone with me on my birthday. It doesn’t always have to be about sex ya know.” Not that I’m complaining, we still have unfinished business but just being with him is enough for me. I smile stupidly, ignoring the jokes my best friend makes. And so what if we do naughty things? I’ll be 18 and legal in a few days. If I wasn’t having a baby, I’d be moving out on my own. I guess that idea is out the window for a while. I’ll never get to experience life as an eighteen year old. College life is out of the question as well. I shake the thoughts out of my head since it’s too late to dwell on the “what ifs”, things I can’t control.
“What’s wrong? You know I was just giving you shit right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I gotta go.” I leave for the day, wanting to sleep off this negative energy that is nagging the back of my mind. “I’ll see you later.” I hear her calling my name but I don’t answer her.
Dear Journal,
It’s been great, so far. Carter started teaching me to drive stick shift because no one found it necessary to teach me. We only covered the basics that first day. It was definitely an experience to say the least, *wink* but when we got back to my house, my lovely group of amazing women had put together a baby shower. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was so thankful for the surprise. A few days later, Carter took me out again to learn more. I think I’m getting the hang of it. I only stalled out a few times. Shifting gears is easier than I thought but I’ve got a bit of a heavy foot right now. But Carter is a really good teacher so I think after time, I’ll be a pro. Thank God for his patience. My eighteenth birthday is this weekend, tomorrow actually. A lot of thoughts have been running through my mind and to be honest, I’m really scared of what’s to come. Scared I won’t be a fit mother that Kylie would be better off with someone else. Someone who can give her a real life, someone who can provide for her. What do I have to offer her? Well, I’m getting emotional now so it’s time to end this entry. Oh, yeah I’m really looking forward to being done with this weepy shit! I have another appointment soon and then every week I’ll be going to the doctor until baby Kylie arrives. It’s getting closer.
Gracie
I take a deep breath, close my eyes and put my journal away. I guess I can’t think too much when I’m sleeping. I get out of my desk chair and crawl into bed, hoping the darkness will consume me into a slumber.
“Gracie.” I hear a voice and stir for a moment. Once it’s quiet again, I fall back asleep briefly. “Gracie, wake up honey.” My eyes flutter opened, and I blink a few times. Morning. The light fills my room and I sit up. My mother is sitting on my bed.
“Happy birthday sweetheart.” I fake a smile and moan under my breath as I lean on her shoulder. Happy eighteenth birthday to me. Whoop-di-fucking-do! I don’t feel different.
“Thanks mom. I’m not feeling my birthday. Can I go back to sleep now?” She pats my hand.
“I know this is not how you imagined spending your birthday. But you’ve got to remember, it could be worse.”
She’s right. I know she’s right. Others have it worse than me and I’m sitting here whining like an asshat. I have family, great friends, roof over my head, clothes on my back and enough food to feed an entire village. It could be worse. I’ll find a way to make it worse.
This time when I smile, it’s for real. “Thank you mom. You always make me see the positive side to life.” I link my arm through hers, laying my left leg on her lap. She nudges my nose.
“That’s what mothers are for. And one day, you’ll get to share the wisdom with your sweet girl.” I smile and hope she’s right. “Now, you should get up and do something-it is your birthday after all.”
“Yeah, but I’ll wait until we go out later. I kind of want to
just stay home and chill out for now.”
“Can I fix you some breakfast?” She asks, determined to pull me out of my funk.
“Okay…sure, thanks.”
“Happy birthday Gracie.” Tyler jumps up on my bed to give me a hug.
“Thanks lil man.” He hands me an envelope. “What’s this?” I ask him inspecting it. It has pictures drawn on the back. I open it and take out the card and start reading it. I smile at his handwriting and how creative it looks. He drew a picture of me with a small item that looks like a ball…but I think it’s supposed to be a baby. He’s also standing there next to me smiling. It’s really cute. “Wow, you should be an artist Ty. This is really good for your age.” I give him a hug and kiss on the head. “Thank you.”
“I don’t think it’s that good. But maybe I will get better.”
“You can take art classes when you get older, they have them in high school, middle school too I think.” He smiles wide and jumps off my bed.
“I hear there’s a birthday girl somewhere. Have you seen her?” I hear my father’s voice from the hall and smile. I look at Tyler and put my finger to my mouth to pretend like I’m sleeping as I lay back on my bed, covering my body in my comforter. “Where is she? Gracie? Where is my legal adult daughter now?” I try to lie completely still but I feel the bed concave under his weight as he sits not even inches from my butt. Then he leans back and pretends to stretch and I know he knows I’m there. Oh he’s just mean. “I know you’re there and wide awake, you may as well come out from hiding.” I have no choice, other than the fact that he’s practically laying on me and it’s hard to miss a body, I’m getting hot under the covers.
“Fine, you caught me.” I lift the covers off of me and my hair sticks up all over the place. I can smell the dirty that is me. I need a shower.
“Happy birthday baby girl.” He kisses my cheek and gives me a big hug.
“I’d stay at a distance. I need a shower.” He laughs.
“You ready for our dinner tonight? I think you’ll have a blast.” I know I will. I’ll get to see Carter and his amazing family. That is the only thing making this day bearable. Oh yeah, it could be worse. I have got to stop being a whiny ass.
