She was just getting started with a torrent of snarky words when a yellow flash appeared in her field of vision and crashed into the two of them, but the yellow flash mostly hit Mantix. There was a sickening thud sound. Kirian was thrown a few feet and landed hard in the grass. She groaned and lifted her head to see what was going on, desperately hoping that nobody was about to attack her again. Everything hurt.
If her quick glance was any indication, there weren't any pressing dangers at the moment. In fact, she couldn't find Mantix anywhere. There was the sound of tires squealing and Kirian realized that the noise was Ryker in his cab. The squealing was the same thing she heard before she saw the yellow flash. It was him, and he was coming back for her. That was nice of him.
She managed to get up to a sitting position now, trying to figure out if she'd be able to stand. It worried her that she couldn't find Mantix. He was here a minute ago. If she lost consciousness, she didn't remember.
Ryker honked the horn. "Get in!"
Kirian dragged herself up to her feet. "Um, that was you, right? The yellow flash that hit me and Mantix?"
Ryker grinned at her. "Guilty. It didn't look like a very fair fight."
"And how long ago was it that you hit us with your car?"
"I mostly hit him, darling. It's not a pinpoint maneuver, hitting something with your car."
"No, no," Kirian said. "Fantastic job. Couldn't have done it better myself. It's the timeline I'm worried about. And where'd he go?"
"I only just hit you and turned around."
"Great," Kirian answered, "then I didn't lose consciousness. Good for me. But again, my worry is, where did he go and is he going to ambush me again? Maybe you should leave, you don't deserve any of this."
Ryker looked around. "I don't see any giant Preying Mantis, Kirian. I think we're okay. For now."
"No giant Preying Mantis," Kirian said, her wits returning to her. "Ryker, you're a genius. He must have changed back into Floyd."
Ryker raised an eyebrow at her. For the first time in the conversation, by the look on his face, he might have joined her in her concern over a head injury.
"Listen, the point is, we're not looking for a Preying Mantis anymore, we're looking for a boring guy in a suit."
"There," Ryker said, pointing off to Kirian's left. Floyd must have been thrown farther than Kirian. Kirian looked over in that direction. Before she even saw him, though, she heard the groan. Floyd tried and failed to get up and then turned over onto his back, breathing heavily.
Kirian deactivated the Stingr sword, waited a second for it to cool down, and then put it back in her pocket.
"He's right there, he can barely move," Ryker said. "Isn't now the time to get him? Isn't he Mantix?"
"Yes," Kirian said, jumping in the car. "He's Mantix all right. And he's evil. But I'm out. I'm not doing Soda's dirty work for her anymore. Plus, like you said, it wouldn't be a fair fight."
Ryker sped off. "You know what? I like you, Kirian, Destroyer of Planets."
34
Soda and Drexyl set up their headquarters in Soda's new hotel room. Drexyl started plugging in his equipment and getting everything set up in the luxury penthouse overlooking the main square.
"No kidding," he said. "Froggy sent a fake reporter to ask where you were staying? And then Ray of all people gave you a heads up?" He shook his head. "That sounds messed up. And you and Kirian are working together." He shook his head. "And now me and you? I guess it really is true what they say about politics and bedfellows and such."
Soda tapped a tentacle on a nearby table and thought about whether to let that last remark go or not. Was he hitting on her? She hoped so, but he probably wasn't. She was interested in making a fun comment regarding bedfellows. She was interested in just about everything about Drexyl, but she was afraid of scaring him away.
And she really needed his help to get to Froggy on a very tight timeline. Once her opponents were dispatched and she was Overlord, she'd give Drexyl that big fat cushy job on the board. Then there would be plenty of time for overtures. In the end, she decided to shrug it off, thank the universe for fun coincidences, and move forward. "I know. Crazy, right? And then I run right into you. It's like we've fallen into some weird coincidence vortex here in Arcturis. It's been hard for me to process it all properly because I'm currently in the middle of a life or death fight for power, you see."
Drexyl turned on the last of a set of interconnected devices. "That makes sense. A-ha got it up and running. Now, you said that you have had recent online interactions with this Froggy guy?"
Soda nodded.
"Well, forward that to my phone and we'll plug it in here. My online sensors should find some sort of unique identification embedded in the interaction and then we'll be able to find him."
Soda looked at her watch. "That sounds simple enough. Good thing too, with time running out." She tapped in the information and hit send. The message hit Drexyl's phone with a ding and then he typed in a few sentences worth of commands. Then they waited.
Bonk. The noise on Drexyl's computer didn't sound good, but she had no idea what was going on, so she didn't want to jump to conclusions. He was frowning at the console though, and when she glanced at it, error messages were all over the screen.
"What's wrong?" Soda asked.
"I don't know," Drexyl said, "that should have worked. What does this Froggy guy do for a living?"
Soda opened her own laptop and searched through the records of Froggy that she had gathered in the application process of her Evil Overlord Vlog class. "Crap."
"What?" Drexyl asked.
"He's in Information Technology. Is that bad?"
"Yeah, it's bad. It means that he has shielded his computer information from detection. We'll never find him this way. How long do we have?"
"Not enough," Soda said. "We'll have to go with a different plan. If we're lucky, he'll come to attack me himself. Otherwise we could just grab some of his minions and try to get them to talk."
"Getting minions to talk can be bloody, time consuming, and fruitless. Maybe we just hang back and watch. If Froggy doesn't show, we can follow them home."
"Even better. Luckily the Plaza is only a few blocks away."
Soda turned to go, but Drexyl stopped her. "They'll see you coming a mile away. Do you have a disguise or something?"
"Wait, I've got an even better idea. We'll have to move fast, though, and there's something I have to grab."
35
Drexyl had no problem sneaking into the hotel and then breaking into Soda's locked room. After all, he had a particular skill set. If this hotel had a casino, then he would have been pretty much maxing all of them out.
He chuckled as he pulled the nearly life-sized, full length, plastic replica of Soda out of his backpack. It was the Collection Edition Neon Blue color. He cut off the retail tag. "Soda, do you really think that this is going to work? Who in their right mind is going to think that this is the real you?" Drexyl was connected to Soda through a secure Bluetooth channel so that they could communicate. Soda was stashed in a hallway off the lobby with a view of the front doors.
"What do normal idiots even know about me? They watch the news and hear the soundbites and read the conspiracy theories. But you can't know what you don't know. Besides, Froggy probably just told them to kill me and go. They're not going to stop and think about whether their success is really failure. I mean, you have to have an idea of how hard good help is to find these days."
"I guess," Drexyl said. "The fake you is all tucked in." He hit a numeric button on the remote. "Fear the name of Soda, the Neon Octopus Overlord," the fake Soda said. "That's hilarious," Drexyl said. "What else does it say?"
"Time's up," Soda responded. "Get out of there now. Very obvious lackeys are streaming in the front door."
"Copy that." Drexyl left the room and locked it behind him. "Are they coming up the elevator or the stairs?"
"Elevator," Soda answered. "Lazy slobs. They're going up
in two groups and the second group is hanging around at the base of the elevator with weapons sticking out of every article of clothing. And they're giving the actual hotel patrons the stink-eye. Rude. This is the Plaza for heaven's sake. Isn't there any decent security here?"
"If there were, wouldn't they be onto us?" Drexyl asked.
"Hey," Soda replied. "At least we had the good sense to be less obvious about it. Oh, here comes security. This oughta be good."
"You people," one of the uniformed security guards said, "this elevator and this hotel is reserved for guest use only. Please show me your hotel keys or your receipts or vacate the premises immediately. If you refuse, then the authorities will be notified."
Soda watched as the apparent leader of the group mouthed some words toward a wall. He was probably communicating with Froggy the way she was with Drexyl. She looked around suspiciously wondering if he was nearby. Then Froggy's leader stepped forward to talk with the head of security. Whatever he said, he whispered it, so she didn't catch it. Judging by what happened next, though, it must have been a taunt. Weapons came out, and blasting noises echoes around the lobby in front of the elevator.
Then the room fell silent enough to hear the ding of the newly arrived elevator. All of Froggy's men were just fine and the security guards were toast.
"Drexyl," Soda whispered. "Look out. These guys are dangerous. They just shot every single one of the security guards. Drexyl?"
"Hi."
Soda jumped as Drexyl appeared behind her. "Don't do that to me," she hissed. "How long do you think it’ll be until the actual police get here?"
Drexyl looked around. "Judging by the number of hotel guests and employees that recorded the event on their phones, I'm guessing not long."
Soda said, "The last thing I want is to be caught between those guys and police."
"Hey, at least you're immortal. You think the police will even bother since you're one of the Overlord candidates and that sort of thing isn't really illegal anymore?"
"Oh yeah, I keep forgetting," Soda said. "You're right, the cavalry probably isn't coming. We'd better stick to the plan." The two of them ducked into a nearby supply room where the electronic eavesdropping equipment had been set up. "Turn it up," Soda said.
There was a loud banging noise. "That was probably them breaking the door down," Drexyl said, turning on the video feed.
There on the screen were the dozen or so guys who had made it onto the first elevator. They ran through the rooms of the presidential suite screaming until they burst into the bedroom with the fake Soda.
"Oh, good, watch this," she said pulling out the remote. She pushed number four. The fake Soda said, "I demand to know the meaning of this."
They filed into the room and surrounded her. "Shut up, squid."
"Squid?" the real Soda snarled. "Why you stupid little-"
She pushed number six on the remote. "I am the most powerful being in this galaxy."
The black-clad figures cocked their weapons. "We said shut up." The leader had a quick conversation again, presumably with Froggy. "Hold," he told the others, "he's on his way."
Soda and Drexyl ran out of the closet, closed the door, and then crept up the hallway to where they had a clear view of the front door, lobby, and elevator. They watched as a new group of people walked in. These new people were far better dressed. That is except for the greasy looking, overly-tattooed, and long-haired guy in the middle.
"That's him," Soda said. "The weirdo in the middle. That's Froggy."
"Got it," Drexyl said. "What do you want to do?"
"Let's take the stairs," Soda answered. "Oh, but I have an even better idea. Let's grab the talking life size Soda remote."
Once they grabbed the remote, Drexyl and Soda went to the stairwell, where Soda paused. "I still can't believe the cops didn't come. There are civilians here, and those guys weren't exactly subtle. And how do they even know that this situation is Overlord candidate related?"
Drexyl opened the stairwell door for Soda. "If I were the Police Chief in the middle of Overlord Anti-Parliamentary Rules, I wouldn't go near any violence until I got the non-political all-clear. Otherwise he could be charged with interference. If it were me I'd be sitting with my feet up, playing a video game and waiting for the whole thing to blow over. I mean, the last thing you want to do in that situation is piss off the next Overlord."
"True," Soda said. "But what about the dead security guards?"
The two of them climbed the stairs. "They were all warned. Politics is a dangerous game, and until there's a winner, we're all in the crosshairs." He grinned at her. "I guess that's why they call it a participatory democracy. Eh? Get it?"
"I get it," Soda said. "Shh. We're here." She held an ear against the door before opening it into the hallway where her room was located. "What do you think? Are they already in there?"
There was a ding sound and the group with Froggy loudly got off the elevator, went into Soda's hotel room, and shut the door.
Soda and Drexyl waited a moment, then followed from the stairs to the hotel room door where they paused.
"Okay," Drexyl said. "All of this sneaking around is kind of fun. Except there were like a dozen heavily armed henchmen already in the hotel room and like a dozen more just got here. What's your plan?"
"My plan is to sneak up on Froggy. Screw with him using the toy he thinks is me, and then kill him."
Drexyl scratched his beautiful blond hair. "It's a decent plan, but it's a little short on specifics. For instance, what am I supposed to do, exactly?"
Soda grinned her toothiest smile. "All you have to do is follow my lead and look pretty."
"Funny."
"Okay, we've given them enough time to be distracted by the dummy."
"You mean the decoy octopus?" Drexyl asked.
"No," Soda replied. "I mean Froggy."
Soda silently inched the door open. "They left it unlocked. Idiots. I didn't even have to use my key," she whispered.
Drexyl poked his face in and looked around. Then he shook his head. "They didn't leave a lookout. I guess that means that all of them are in there with the fake you."
They both went in and crept closer to the open bedroom door where they could hear Froggy's voice.
"I'm here to kill you, Soda. What do you think about that?" Froggy said. "Oh, and by the way, you used the poop emoji all wrong. I mean, how old are you, anyway? Like a thousand?"
Soda took out the remote. "Oh, I've got a good one." She pressed the button.
"I'm not old, I'm immortal, dumbass," the toy said.
Soda giggled. "I made them put that one in."
"That does it," Froggy said. "Finish her off."
A hail of gunfire erupted toward what Froggy and his men thought was Soda and continued for what Soda figured was an over-exorbitant amount of time. In fact, after forty seconds or so, Soda got bored and started grabbing gunmen from behind with her tentacles, taking their weapons and throwing them off to the side. The room was so noisy with gunfire that nobody even noticed. She had taken out half a dozen of them and piled up the weapons next to Drexyl and they hadn't even noticed.
"Stop!" Froggy yelled eventually. "It's really not like her to just shut up and die," he said when the noise had all died down. "Especially with the rumors of her immortality. Stay sharp people, but DON'T shoot me. I'm going in."
He took a few careful steps forward so that he could grab the edge of the bed's comforter and then he ripped it off the bed, revealing the bullet ridden, but still surprisingly life-like plastic doll.
"What the-" Froggy said.
Soda picked that exact moment to press sound effect number two on the doll. "Ha! Ha! Yes, I'm laughing at you."
The sound effect coming from the obviously fake and massacred doll made them all jump and several of them fired their weapons, nearly hitting Froggy in the process.
Soda laughed.
Froggy whirled and then saw her in the doorway.
"Surprise," Soda
said. "I won't be the one dying tonight."
Froggy fumed and yelled at his people for falling for the old replica trick before turning back to Soda and pointing at her. "Get her!"
The henchmen opened fire as Soda retreated around the corner. Drexyl was hiding on the opposite side of the doorway. This barrage lasted about a minute. The only real damage was to Soda's ears. She reappeared in the doorway. "Is that all you've got? I have to say, I'm disappointed. You wasted your money on my Vlog, didn't you? You didn't believe I was immortal and you tried to outsmart me but walked right into a trap. And you dissolved the board for this?"
"What?" he asked.
"You dissolved the board. So you could get to the Anti-Parliamentary Rules and take a shot at me. It was a shortcut you weren't quite ready for, kid. I thought you were smarter than that."
"It wasn't me," Froggy said. "I will be the one to kill you, but I didn't touch any of the board members."
Soda stopped and frowned. "Well it wasn't me. And Floyd said it wasn't him, and Ray's barely even in the game so far. That leaves you, greasy hair."
"I'll say it one more time. I was busy. It wasn't me. If I had killed the board, I'd be gloating right now." Froggy pulled out a remote control of his own and smiled. "I thought I wasn't going to get to use this. Evil Octopus Overlord Vlog rule number one: 'Always bring more firepower than you think you'll need'." He pressed the button. Everybody in the room held their breath for a moment waiting for something to happen. Nothing did.
"Hey, Froggy. Mind telling me what we're waiting for?" As soon as Soda got the words out, the ceiling above them collapsed and a giant metal hand reached out and grabbed her.
Soda emitted a high-pitched screech that she hadn't heard herself make since her school days. As soon as she recovered herself, she realized that she had been grabbed by a giant robot hand. Which was not possible, because a few seconds ago she had been standing on the fourth floor of the Plaza Hotel.
Now she was dozens of feet up in the air being grasped by a robot hand. She struggled for a moment and looked around for a nice place to land. Hey, she thought, the city looks pretty from up here. There was no sense in trying to escape if she was just going to plop onto the pavement. And then a bad thought hit her. If she fell from this distance onto the pavement below, it wouldn't be pretty. Sure, she'd live since she's technically immortal, but she'd be a mess.
Overlord Brawl: Book 1 of the Neon Octopus Ally Series Page 13
