by Amelia Autin
“Make sure she moves to the top of the list,” he told Soo-Ying.
“Already done, laoban.” There was a tiny trace of smugness in her voice. “I knew you would request it.”
He laughed ruefully. “You know me too well.” Then he hung up.
He stood and strode restlessly to one of his office’s floor-to-ceiling windows, the one facing Victoria Harbour. He ran a hand over his face, then propped his elbow on his other arm, which lay across his chest, tapping a finger against his lips. Lost in thought.
This high up the view of the harbor was incredible. But Jason didn’t see the vessels plying the open waterway between Hong Kong Island and Kowloon on the mainland. All he saw was that woman’s eyes on Sunday night.
* * *
Alana intended to keep as busy as she could all day. Which, given her workload, wouldn’t be that difficult to do. She really didn’t want to dwell on last night—early this morning, actually. She’d already racked her brain trying to figure out what Jason could possibly have against the idea of children. His children. To no avail.
She tried to imagine a life with the man she loved without children, but she couldn’t. Juliana’s mother had died before Alana was born, but the close parent-child relationship between her uncle and her cousin had set the standard for her, and she’d dreamed of having that with her own children ever since she was old enough to remember. Could she give that up? Was it even possible?
Jason didn’t call or text, but then she hadn’t expected him to. He’d unequivocally stated his position. The ball was now in her court, and he wasn’t the kind of man who’d try to influence her one way or the other. If she wanted Jason without children, all she had to do was tell him. Problem was, she wasn’t sure she could do that.
She was tempted to tell him okay, she could accept his terms while at the same time praying she could eventually change his mind. But that wouldn’t be fair to either of them. Not to Jason, who had a valid-in-his-mind reason for his “no children” fiat. And not fair to her, either. Because if she went into a long-term relationship with him, thinking she could alter his stance and wasn’t successful, she’d become bitter. Resentful. And she didn’t want to become that woman. Ever.
Alana had just fired up her computer when Mei-li wandered in. “Hi there. I thought I’d catch you at breakfast,” she said, leaning against the side of Alana’s desk. “But...”
“Oh, I...I wasn’t all that hungry for some reason, and I have a lot to do today. I’ll be at lunch, though.”
“Good. Hannah gets upset when anyone misses a meal—I think she thinks we’ll starve.” The tongue-in-cheek way this was delivered made Alana smile because she’d already been on the receiving end of a “just because I care about you” lecture from Hannah about eating regular meals. But her smile was erased when Mei-li said softly, “I heard you come in, you know.”
She didn’t reply, because Dirk had been quite insistent when he’d hired her and offered her room and board at the estate that her free time was her own. That she could come and go as she pleased, and he and Mei-li wouldn’t try to run her life. This statement from Mei-li seemed unwarranted interference.
The other woman’s lips twitched into a faint smile. “You’re thinking it’s none of my business how late—or early—you come in.”
“Dirk said I was free to—”
“I know. And you are. This isn’t about that, I assure you.”
“Then why are you telling me this?”
“Because Jason texted me yesterday afternoon not to expect you home at all last night, and not to worry because you’d be with him. And that he’d bring you home this morning.”
Alana gawked at Mei-li. “What?”
“You didn’t know? I thought not.”
“Why would he do that?”
Mei-li’s smile turned rueful. “Because Jason is a protector by nature, and he can’t help it. He thought I might worry if you didn’t come home. And—” she chuckled beneath her breath “—he didn’t want me to activate your electronic transmitter beacon, either.”
“Oh,” Alana said blankly. “I never thought of that.”
“Yes, well...Jason did.” Mei-li straightened. “So I guess this probably isn’t the best time to tell you he texted me about you early this morning, too.”
Alana felt as if she’d somehow wandered into the middle of a play without a script. “Why?”
“To make sure you’re okay.”
She blinked. “He drove me here. He watched me walk in the front door. He knows I made it home safely.”
“That wasn’t exactly what he’s worried about.”
She couldn’t imagine what the other woman meant. “Then what?”
Mei-li made a face. “So this is where you’re going to be furious with Jason, but remember what I said about him being a protector. He can’t help himself. Which means he’s something of a control freak and he worries about everything.”
An idea suddenly occurred to her, so preposterous that when she opened her mouth to blurt out a demand that Mei-li tell her it wasn’t that, she closed her mouth, words unsaid. The two women’s gazes met, a silent question asked and answered, and warmth surged into Alana’s face. “I’ll kill him.”
“I’ll hold your coat when you do.” Amused understanding was in Mei-li’s voice.
“Oh, my God.” She was so flabbergasted she couldn’t get the words out fast enough. “I can’t believe... How could he... He told you?”
The older woman nodded. “In his defense, he’s worried about you, because...apparently...you left right afterward.”
“Oh, my God.” She felt like a parrot repeating the same thing over and over. “I’m fine.” Then she muttered beneath her breath, more to herself than to Jason’s sister. “More than fine, actually, because—”
Mei-li held up a hand to stop her. “I...really don’t need to hear the rest of that.” Her lips twitched as if she was trying to hold back a smile. “It was bad enough I couldn’t stop Jason from telling me, because that’s between you and him and nobody’s business but yours. But he texted me. Once I started scrolling, it was too late. I couldn’t unread what I’d already read.”
Alana wanted to pull a pillow over her head and pretend this conversation had never happened. She wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. But she couldn’t do either of those things. It was a struggle, but finally she asked with as much dignity as she could muster, “What exactly did Jason say?”
Mei-li pulled her smartphone out of her pocket. “Why don’t you just read it for yourself?” She unlocked the phone, scrolled, then held it out to Alana, who took it as gingerly as if it were an unexploded hand grenade.
“‘Calling in a huge favor,’” she read, noting that just like the texts Jason had sent her, he didn’t use the abbreviations most people used when texting, those she hated and never used herself. Everything was precisely spelled out, though the meaning was somewhat ambiguous. “‘Last night was Alana’s first time. Something happened and she left upset. So kill me later, just check on her please?’”
“I’m going to assume you’re okay,” Mei-li said, “unless you tell me otherwise, because I know my brother. He would never hurt a woman.”
“He didn’t.” He made it beautiful for me, flashed into her mind, but she wasn’t going to say that out loud. “So if you’re not here because of that, then what?”
Mei-li breathed deeply. “You’re probably going to tell me it’s none of my business, and in a way it isn’t. But I feel responsible, because I’m the one who asked Jason to mobilize RMM for your rescue. He might never have met you if not for me.”
Alana could read between the lines. “You think I hurt him, don’t you?” A spurt of anger shook her. “Well, I didn’t. It’s the other way around, actually.”
Chapter 14
Mei-li frowned. “You just got finished saying—”
“Not physically. You’re right. Jason would never hurt a woman that way.”
“Then what do you mean?”
At first Alana was going to tell Mei-li that this was between Jason and her, and much as she appreciated the other woman’s concern, she wasn’t going to discuss it. But then she realized maybe Jason’s sister could tell her why... So she stated flatly, “He doesn’t want children. Ever.”
Mei-li’s first reaction was a severe disappointment to Alana—she blinked. “He doesn’t?” This was followed by a growing expression of incredulity. “He told you that last night? That’s why you got upset and left?”
Alana nodded. “I was hoping you could tell me why.”
Mei-li still looked stunned. “I had no idea. Truly. I mean, he loves Linden and Laurel. You should see him with them.”
“I don’t have to see them together to know that. The twins talk about him a lot, and I can tell from what they say that he’s special to them. So I can’t understand...”
Then a curious thing happened—an arrested expression flashed across Mei-li’s face. “It can’t be that,” she whispered to herself.
“What?” The question was sharp and urgent. “What can’t it be?”
Shock held Jason’s sister immobile for a moment, then she shook her head and blinked as if coming out of a trance. Her eyes met Alana’s. “It can’t be.” But the note of uncertainty said whatever she suspected just might be the reason.
Alana’s throat was suddenly too dry to speak, and she swallowed hard. “Please tell me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why can’t you?”
Mei-li bowed her head and covered her face with her hands. Breathing deeply as if she was trying not to cry. Eventually she raised a tearless yet ravaged face and whispered, “Oh. My. God. All this time I didn’t know.” Her voice was desolate when she spoke directly to her absent brother. “I’m so sorry, Jason. I never realized. Please forgive me.”
“Tell me,” Alana begged. “Please tell me.”
Mei-li’s gaze met Alana’s, and she slowly shook her head. “It has to come from him. If I’m right—it seems impossible, but I can’t imagine what else it could be—he has to be the one to tell you.”
Suddenly her heart-to-heart with Dirk about Jason made sense. Crazy, illogical sense. “Dirk said...” She tilted her head and gazed off into the distance, trying to remember his exact words. “He said there’s a gaping hole in Jason’s psyche, and he didn’t know if the woman existed who could fill that void.”
“Dirk said that?”
“Mmm-hmm.” Alana’s voice wobbled, then firmed. “He also said he didn’t know if any woman could love Jason enough to heal him.” Her eyes met Mei-li’s again. “Whatever it is that’s so terrible you can’t tell me, that’s it, isn’t it.” It wasn’t a question; she was as sure as sure could be. “That’s what Dirk meant.” Then the words poured out of her. “I love your brother. I haven’t told him yet—I meant to last night, but...”
“But you never got the chance.”
She nodded. “I don’t know if I can heal him, though, if he won’t tell me. He wouldn’t tell me last night, and I asked him point blank. All he would say is that he doesn’t want children ever. And if I care about him, I’ll agree to do as he says.” Her voice broke. “I just don’t know if I can.”
* * *
Lunchtime came and went, but Alana never left her desk. She had no appetite anyway, and she didn’t want to sit at the kitchen table with Dirk’s daughters, listening to their childish babble—too poignant a reminder of what she didn’t want to think about. What she might have to sacrifice if she couldn’t convince Jason to confide in her. If she couldn’t heal him.
She worked steadily until midafternoon when her smartphone dinged for an incoming text. Her heart jumped, thinking it might be from Jason, and she was bitterly disappointed when she saw it was from Juliana.
Text me when you’re free, please, so I can call you. I have a favor to ask.
But then she realized maybe Juliana was exactly the person she needed to talk to. They were cousins, but as only children they shared a special bond. Juliana had been something of a big sister to Alana during her teen years, and if she could confide in anyone other than Jason’s sister the terrible decision confronting her, that person would be her cousin. So she texted back.
Free now.
The phone rang in less than a minute. When she answered, the world-famous voice filled her ear. “Alana?”
She quickly calculated the time difference in her mind and said, “Good morning, Your Majesty.”
“Would you cut that out!” Juliana exclaimed. “You’re picking up bad habits from Dirk.”
“You’ve got to be kidding, right? Mr. Perfect? The man’s practically a saint!”
Juliana laughed. “So how’s the new job going?”
Alana expounded at length, then concluded, “I guess you can figure out I love my job, Jules. And I love Hong Kong, too—it’s so different from what I’m used to, but I’m getting acclimated. I can never thank you enough for the referral.”
“I knew how desperate you were to—” Juliana broke off suddenly, and Alana filled in the rest of the sentence. Distance yourself from your parents. “Well anyway, I knew you wanted a complete change, and I also knew Dirk needed someone who wouldn’t...well...” She cleared her throat, and Alana knew what she meant. Dirk’s last two executive assistants hadn’t worked out because they’d both crushed on him to the point where it had become embarrassing for the devoted family man.
They chatted for several minutes more before Alana asked, “So what’s the favor you want to ask me?”
Juliana’s musical laugh made her smile. “Oh, Lord, would you believe I almost forgot?” Her voice softened. “How would you like to be a godmother?”
Alana gasped with joy. “A baby? You’re having another baby?”
“Mmm-hmm. It hasn’t been officially announced yet. Andre and I,” she said, referring to her husband, the King of Zakhar, “we wanted to at least wait until I passed my first trimester. Now that that’s safely behind me, the announcement’s going out next week. But I wanted to tell you myself before the rest of the world hears the news, and ask you to be one of the baby’s godmothers.”
As was the norm with royal children, Juliana’s firstborn had more than one set of godparents, so Alana wasn’t surprised Juliana’s second child would, too. “I’d be honored. So do you know what you’re having, a boy or a girl?”
“Andre refuses to let the doctors tell us, and he says he doesn’t care, he just wants the baby to be healthy. But I know he dreadfully wants a daughter. I won’t say he always gets what he wants, but...” Her tone was droll. “I would never bet against him.”
Alana laughed. “And since you do everything in your power to give him what he wants,” she teased her cousin, “my money’s on a girl.”
A sharp pang suddenly hit her—an actual physical pain—as the memory of Jason surfaced, and how much she yearned to give him everything he wanted, too. Only...
She gripped the phone tighter and blurted out, “Jules, can I ask you something?”
* * *
The day dragged interminably for Jason, with no word from Alana. A dozen times he picked up his smartphone to text her, but every time he forced himself to stop. He wasn’t going to pressure her in any way.
He touched base with David midmorning, who thanked him for making the women available for questioning and confirmed Soo-Ying’s assertion that the police had learned nothing helpful in their investigation. “But we had to cross that off our list, Jason,” David said. “You know we did.”
“I know.”
“So I’m going to ask you one more time. Are you holding anything back? Te
n murders,” David reminded him. “The pressure from the top to solve this quickly is intense.”
That’s putting it mildly, to say the least, Jason thought.
“There have even been delicate ‘inquiries’ from Beijing,” his friend added, which made Jason sit up with a jerk. “One country, two systems,” the constitutional principle behind the SARs of Hong Kong and Macau, was great in theory. But the ruling government in Beijing had a habit of flexing its might when something happened in the SARs to which it took exception.
“I know nothing more than what I already told you,” he reiterated. “The name of the Eight Tigers was invoked during the...conversation. But those men were alive when we left.”
After he hung up with David, he made a call to his second-in-command at RMM. “The Eight Tigers,” he said without preamble. “What do we know about them?”
* * *
“Some people don’t like children,” Juliana reminded her. “I’m not one of them and neither is Andre, but...”
“It’s not that,” Alana insisted, going on to tell her cousin about Jason’s close relationship with the twins, whose godmother Juliana was. “And until I mentioned it to Mei-li, she had no clue her brother didn’t want children.”
“Then why—” Juliana began.
“That’s just it. He won’t tell me why, even though I asked him. But Mei-li had an epiphany when we were discussing it earlier. She thinks she might know, but—” frustration was evident in her voice “—she won’t tell me, either. She says if she’s right, it has to come from Jason.”
“Then I think you have to ask him again.” Juliana gave a rueful little laugh. “Not easy, I know, asking a tough question like that and making him give you an answer.” She sighed softly. “I can’t tell you what to do, honey. You have to make the decision for yourself. All I can do is give you the benefit of my own experience and let you take it from there.”
