by Jane Blythe
“I needed a fresh start after we broke up. I met an elderly gentleman who owned a jewelry store. He was sick. Dying. He didn't have any children, but he wanted his business to continue after he died. He wanted to give it to me, but I couldn’t just take it, so I sold my store and bought his. We worked together for almost a year before he passed away. That was two years ago. After he died, I renamed the store Sunkissed Jewels.”
That she had chosen that particular name for her new store hadn’t escaped him. He also didn't know what to make of it. Sunkissed was a nickname he’d had for her when they were together. Why had she chosen that particular name? Did that mean something? Tom wanted to ask her, but he was almost afraid to know the answer. This was just a job, and when it was over and he knew for sure that Hannah was safe, he intended to move on.
Seeing as it had been two years since she made the store her own, it was unlikely that anyone would rob the store intending to target the man she’d bought it from. “What about people in your life? Friends, neighbors, colleagues, a boyfriend?” He had to force himself to get the word out. Although they were divorced, and he didn't intend to change that, he still didn't like the idea of Hannah dating.
“I don’t have a lot of friends. Most of the friends from before I kind of let go.”
She didn't have to specify what the before was that she was talking about. Both of them had lost a lot of friends following Hannah’s assault. It wasn't on purpose. It was just that both of them had withdrawn a lot from the world around them. And that meant a lot of friendships just sort of faded away until there was nothing left.
“You told us that your employee, Vincent, was the son of a friend. Which friend?” he asked.
“My next-door neighbor. Her husband died several months back. I had a young woman working with me up until about a month ago, then she moved to Australia with her fiancé. It was Christmas, and I really needed someone quickly. We were talking one evening, and she said her son needed a job for the holiday season. So, I hired Vincent on a temporary basis until I can interview for a new employee in the new year. Ellen Zimmerman and I are friends, but we’re not that close. She has no reason to want revenge on me for anything, and she got a big payout from her husband’s life insurance policy, so she doesn’t need the money.”
“Can we have the name of the woman who used to work for you?” Chloe asked.
Hannah frowned, but replied, “Amelia Topping.”
“What about other friends?” he prompted. He wanted her to tell him something that convinced him this was nothing more than a random robbery.
“I don’t have a lot. Work pretty much consumes my life. When I'm not there, I might have a quiet night in with a couple of old friends who are still around, but that’s about it. And you know all those people, Tom. None of them would want to hurt me. I really don’t think this has anything to do with me. I don’t know anyone who would want to target me or hurt me in any way.”
He really hoped that was true.
“What about a boyfriend?” Chloe asked.
“Don’t have one.”
Catching how uncomfortable Hannah looked, Chloe pressed her. “What about an ex?”
“There’s only one since Tom,” she replied reluctantly.
“What’s his name?” he asked tightly. His entire body stiffened at the knowledge that Hannah had been dating since they split up. It was ridiculous; he knew that. He had dated, too, over the last three years. But right or wrong, the thought of Hannah sharing another man’s bed had him seething with jealousy.
Just a job, he reminded himself.
Just. A. Job.
When this was over, they could both go their separate ways again.
“Garry Smith.”
“Would he hurt you?” he demanded, aware he sounded fiercely possessive.
“I don’t think so.”
“You don’t think so?” It came out as a growl.
Hannah rolled her eyes at him. “It’s none of your business who I have and haven't dated since we got divorced. Don’t go acting like a possessive jerk. I don’t see why Garry would want to hurt me.”
“Who ended the relationship. You or him?” Chloe asked.
“I did.”
Knowing that Hannah had been the one to end things made him feel marginally better.
“Why?” Chloe asked.
“It wasn't going anywhere, and it didn't seem fair to lead him on. I don’t want to get married again. I liked Garry, but I didn't love him. He was starting to get too clingy, too serious. He thought there was a future for us, but there wasn't. So, I told him it was over. He took it fine. He didn't seem angry or anything, just disappointed.”
Despite what Hannah thought, Garry was firmly on their list of people to check out. Just because she thought he had taken the breakup well didn't mean that he had.
“Look, I don’t know what else to tell you. There truly isn’t anyone who’s interested enough in me to rob my store. Look into Garry, if you want. Investigate all my friends. You’re not going to find anything. It was just a robbery. I understand, Tom, why you think it might be more, given our history. But maybe instead of inventing reasons to keep me as the victim, you could just get yourself some help so you can move on. Can I go now?” She addressed the question to Chloe, who nodded. “I’ll have the list of everything that was taken to you as soon as I can.”
With that, Hannah stood and breezed out of the room.
Leaving him staring after her.
Although Hannah was a victim, he had never thought of her as one. She was too strong, too determined to get over what had happened to her.
He couldn’t leave things like that.
Standing, he hurried after her.
* * * * *
10:10 A.M.
She was all but running through the police station, desperate to get out.
It felt like she was suffocating in here.
Hannah didn't even notice Tom until he was beside her, grabbing her arm and stopping her near frantic efforts to get back outside.
She would be happy if she never had to step foot inside a police station again in her life. She had spent so many hours in them three years ago, telling her story over and over again until the whole thing started to feel surreal, like nothing more than simply a story.
Of the six men who had assaulted her, three of them had been killed by the cops, another left in critical condition, and the other two had surrendered quietly. She had been grilled in minute detail about every aspect of the attack as they tried to ascertain whether the shootings had been justified.
They had.
The men had refused to comply with orders from the first officers on the scene to lower their weapons and surrender. Instead, they had threatened to shoot her, Tom, and the cops. The police had had no choice but to shoot them. And she was glad they did. She wished that all six men had been killed.
It would have been so much easier if they were all dead.
She hated knowing those men could get out of prison one day.
Hannah was surprised when a blast of cold air hit her face. While her mind had been stuck in the past, Tom had maneuvered her through the winding halls of the police precinct and outside. For once, she appreciated that he knew her well enough to know what she needed without her having to verbalize it.
She dragged in a deep breath, filling her lungs with the icy winter air and letting the wide open outdoors soothe her.
“Are you okay?” Tom’s light brown eyes were examining her closely.
“Yes,” she replied shortly, snatching her arm back and turning, intending to leave.
“Hannah, wait.” He grabbed her arm again, holding her in place.
She didn't want to deal with this now. She just wanted to get back to her store, get the list of missing items to her insurance company and the FBI, then get back to her life. “What do you want, Tom?”
“I'm not trying to make you a victim. I never did.” His face was so earnest.
Maybe he really di
dn't realize what he’d done. Maybe he’d been so caught up in his own pain that he hadn’t even realized what he was doing. Hannah had always known that he was suffering just as much as she was, but maybe Tom hadn’t. He didn't want to admit that he was struggling. He was an FBI agent; he was supposed to be strong and tough. But his desire to convey an air of strong and tough and treat her as a helpless victim who needed him to do everything for her had done more harm than good.
“How can we have lived the same events and yet we both have two completely different takes of what happened?” Tom looked sad now.
“Because you didn't want to see things from my point of view. You had already made up your mind. I was the victim, and it was your job to save me. It didn't matter what I wanted.”
“That’s not true.”
“Of course, it was. It was true then, and it’s true now. You still want me to be the victim. You can't accept that this was just a robbery. Nothing more. No conspiracy. No hidden motives. No boogeyman hiding in the corner. Just a robbery.”
“Do you always have to be so stubborn?” he growled.
“I'm not being stubborn. Just realistic. You’re the one who’s seeing things that aren’t there.”
“Do you trust me?”
The question caught her by surprise, but she didn't hesitate to answer. “Yes.”
“Then trust me now. All I’m asking is that you be careful. Is that really too much?”
Hannah sighed. No matter what she said or did, Tom could never let go of the notion that she was a victim. “Why are you doing this? We’ve been divorced for three years, we’ve both moved on with our lives. It’s over between us, why can't you just let it go?”
“I'm doing my job. Nothing more and nothing less.”
“I'm not your responsibility anymore,” she reminded him.
“This is my case, so you most certainly are my responsibility.”
“No. You were working a string of armed robberies at jewelry stores. You closed that case. The robbery at my store wasn't related. That means the local police department can handle the case, and you and your partner can go back to the FBI.”
“I'm not walking away until this case is closed, and I'm convinced that you're safe.”
“Why do you care?” If Tom had really cared about her, he would never have walked away from her in the first place.
“How can you ask me that?” He looked hurt.
“You don’t have to worry about me. I know you see me as a victim, but this time I'm not. I wasn't hurt. There is no one after me. I am not in danger. Nothing is going to happen to me.” How many times was she going to have to tell him that before he got it through his thick head?
“You said you trusted me. Can't you for once just listen to me, let me help you? Why is that so hard for you to do? Why is it such a repulsive idea to you to let me help you?”
“You don’t want to help me; you want to save me. I get it. You feel like what happened was your fault. But it wasn't. I never blamed you, Tom. Ever. How could you have predicted what would happen? You couldn’t. I never once thought it was your fault. That was your issue. And you wouldn’t acknowledge it and get help. I'm not the one who’s stubborn; you are.”
Tom shook his head. “You're the stubborn one. I wanted to help you, and you acted like that was the worst thing ever.”
“I wanted to learn to be strong again. I have felt like a victim every day since it happened. And the more you treated me like a victim, the more I felt like one. You didn't want to be my husband anymore. You just wanted to take care of me. But we should have been taking care of each other. We could have been a team, helping each other, but you couldn’t accept that you were a victim, too.”
“No, I wasn't.” He looked horrified by the very suggestion.
“Yes, you were.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.” In the nine years they’d been together, they had never argued much, but ever since the home invasion, they had developed a tendency to argue constantly, like a couple of preschoolers. “They tied you to a chair, Tom, beat you, and made you watch them rape me. Whether you want to admit it or not, you were just as much a victim as I was. You could have gotten help. We could have helped each other. You could have looked at me as a survivor. Instead, you chose to make me the victim and make it your project to fix me. When that didn't work, you just left. That was your choice. I never said I wanted you to go. Wanting to do things for myself wasn't an invitation for you to leave, but you did. You just left me.”
“You never asked me to stay,” he said quietly.
He was right.
She had never asked him to stay.
She had wanted to, but she’d been too hurt that he left, and then she had been too determined to prove that she didn't need anyone. That she could be completely self-sufficient. That she could take the horror that she had suffered and use it to make herself stronger than she had been before. She had needed to know—for herself, not for anyone else—that she could survive.
And she had.
But that didn't change the fact that she still loved Tom, and if he hadn’t walked out the door, they would probably still be together today.
“If I had, would you have stayed?” she asked.
Hannah looked at the man who would always hold a big piece of her heart. His hands were on his hips. She remembered what it was like to feel those calloused fingertips tracing over her bare skin. His lips were pulled into a tight line, and as she looked at them, all she could think of was the spark of electricity she always felt when they pressed against hers. She had never felt safer than she had when she had been wrapped up in Tom’s arms. It had been like having steel bands around her; yet, at the same time, they were warm and comforting.
She should have asked him to stay. Begged him. Done whatever it took to convince him that her desire to be self-sufficient and do things for herself had nothing to do with him. It was all about not losing herself and becoming just another rape victim.
Maybe letting him walk out of her life had been the biggest mistake she’d ever made. She had survived. She had grown strong. She had thrived in her business life. But she wasn't really happy. There was a big gaping hole in her heart and her life that she wasn't sure she could ever fill.
Tears were building in her eyes, but when she looked at Tom’s, she found them all cop. He hadn’t answered her question, but she supposed that was her answer. Tom had left because he wanted to. Even if she had been able to swallow her pride and ask him to stay, he wouldn’t have.
Straightening her spine, she made her voice calm, cool, and collected. “There are no monsters after me, Tom. So you can go back to your life with a clear conscience.”
“I'm going to do my job, Hannah.”
“You always do. Just don’t make it any more than that.”
“Don’t worry, I won't. This is just another job.”
Just another job.
Well, at least she knew where she stood.
Maybe she had needed to hear him say it. To know that he was happy with his decision to end their marriage. To know he had no regrets. Maybe now she could finally properly move on with her life.
With a last look at Tom, Hannah turned and walked away.
* * * * *
10:38 A.M.
Would he have stayed if Hannah had asked him to?
Tom still couldn’t believe she had asked him that.
And he couldn’t believe that he hadn’t given her an answer.
What was wrong with him?
Would he have stayed if she had asked him to?
Yes.
Of course.
He had only left in the first place because it was what he thought she wanted. He had thought that she didn't want him around. That she wanted, or even needed, to deal with what had happened on her own. That time and space and isolation to process it all were what was going to help her recover.
So, he had given it to her.
When she’d asked him if he would have stayed with her if she had asked him to, it had looked like she hoped he would say yes.
Why hadn’t he?
“Tom.” Chloe appeared behind him.
Hannah had walked away, and he’d let her. He had to accept that it was over between them. Whether or not it would have changed things, if she’d asked him to stay was irrelevant now. She hadn’t, and he’d left. They were divorced. This was just a job. When it was finished, he would leave again.
Just a job.
Just a job.
Just a job.
Maybe if he kept saying that, it might make it true.
Because he knew it was no longer just a job. He wanted to keep Hannah safe because he still loved her. He wanted any excuse to keep seeing her again. And when this case was closed, he didn't want to walk away.
This wasn't just a job.
“Are you coming in?” Chloe asked.
He wanted to say no.
He wanted to go after Hannah.
He wanted to find a way to fix things with her.
But he didn't.
“Yeah.” He was a coward, so he may as well let Hannah go—again—and go and work on this case. At least he could find who had robbed Hannah’s store and make sure that no one ever hurt her again.
With his heart still pulling him in the opposite direction, he followed his partner back inside. At his desk, he attempted to not let himself get distracted by his complicated relationship with Hannah. That wasn't going to help her right now.
“I checked out Hannah’s old employee, Amelia Topping, while you were talking with Hannah,” Chloe told him. “I don’t think there’s any reason for her to be involved in the robbery. She hasn’t left Australia in the five weeks since she moved there. She’s busy planning her wedding and has already bought her own jewelry store in her new town. When I spoke to her, she was upset to hear about what had happened and concerned about Hannah and Jeff. I don’t think she’s involved.”
“We should look into the neighbor,” he said.
