“I wanted to reveal myself many times if only to save you the heartache.” She moves for my arm, but I keep it out of reach. “When I heard you killed Alexei, I couldn’t be more proud. You followed in my footsteps.” She beams at me, but I can’t reciprocate.
I cross my arms over my chest. I’m not wearing anything to shield the weather, and I’m riddled with blood. Cold blood at the moment. I could stand for warm blood. It’s chilly, but I’m not going to give either one the satisfaction of continuing this conversation elsewhere. This will conclude here. The truth is all I seek.
“No. I made my own path.” I hear the agency’s chiding even now if I let her get away. She’s the ultimate prize. Though she is my mother, Alena was on the Most Wanted list up until her death. They’ll want her. No doubt about it.
“Of course.” She nods, her blue eyes forlorn. Well, tough shit. She did this to herself. Alena glances to Dylan then continues, “I thought you were free from the Russian way of life.”
She pauses and I hope she’s done with this shindig because I am. When she surveys the horizon, her mouth opens once more. “Then word came that Alexei survived your blade. I knew he’d seek revenge. He planned to kill you.” She shuffles through the snow. “I couldn’t let it happen. Not when I could prevent your demise.”
“You didn’t do anything of the sort.” Snow begins falling at that moment, causing my shiver. Fitting. My life is falling apart before my eyes, so why not let me freeze? The urge to run circles my thoughts, but I need to hear her explanation of the web of half-truths. She won’t tell me everything, but a tidbit of honesty would be nice.
“Throughout the years, I followed you the best I could. They hid you well and trained you even better.” Alena rubs her gloved hands together.
Gloves. Those must be warm. How is it that neither one offered me a goddamn coat yet? I stomp my feet to keep my blood circulating effectively.
“You’re one asset the skhodka knew I’d eventually resurface for.”
“So, if I have this right, you stayed away to keep me safe?” There are so many things wrong with what I’m hearing, but I owe her a little of my time. She did bring me into this world.
“Yes. They hunted me because I refused to kill an American politician who stood in the skhodka’s way.” She nods to Dylan. “His parents helped me for a while.
Her stance struggles as she continues. “They slaughtered his parents before his eyes then hauled him to Russia. I tried to stop it, but they whisked him away before I could. He became theirs. Just as you did.”
“Anywhere Alena Vald goes, death follows.” I peer to Dylan, but he keeps his eyes downcast. His scarf isn’t around his face anymore and I notice his beard is gone. Why didn’t I see it before? He looks completely foreign to me, but somehow, he resembles someone I know from another life.
I study his jawline and the curve of his nose, trying to place him in my memory. He senses my gawking, and gradually raises his gaze to me. Holy shit! A crater the size of Virginia falls on my chest.
“Demetri?” I gasp in disbelief. If I wasn’t shocked enough by everything today held, I’d die from my mind exploding at these additional details. My life is a sham and my mother is to blame.
“He is your fiancé, Mishka,” Alena apprises.
“Hold on, what? He was my fiancé?” I slap my hand over my mouth. Dylan is Demetri. “The same Demetri I was promised to as a child?” I knew he looked familiar.
She ignores my questions. Shocker. “I had the same reaction when he spotted me years ago. We found each other in Russia after his training. He could’ve turned me in, but he didn’t. He wanted the same revenge I seek, so we joined forces,” Alena explains. “We stayed in touch. He’s a great ally.”
I look to him, unsure what to think, and Alena keeps gabbing. God, is that where I get my nonstop chatter? It’s annoying as hell.
“When he uncovered what Alexei meant for your future, I had to act.”
I gnaw my bottom lip. Thus far, I’m not loving her information. It’s too believable for my liking. Surely, my future wasn’t formed at the hands of my mother. I have more control over my life. I think.
“Go on,” I urge, irritated with her dragging this out. Get on with it, so I can do the same.
Alena shifts in her spot and studies her hands. “He helped me get off the train before it detonated.” She threads her fingers together.
“Wait, you were on the train?” She bobs her head. “Why?”
“We wanted the same thing. To help you and make them pay for their crimes.” She peeks over to me. “I never thought I’d jeopardize your childhood fiancé. My plan was to escape the grip of Russia’s mob then return to you.”
My eyes flicker to the tall man. It all makes sense. The secrecy, the way he weaseled his way into my heart and bed, and the ultimate prize. They were using me to get to the crime families. I’m their key to the impenetrable lock of the skhodka.
From my peripheral, I see Alena nod. Unexpectedly, tears trickle down my cheeks. What the fuck, emotions? You choose now to surface? I don’t understand why this affects me. Demetri and I had an arranged marriage when I was on the cusp of teenage years. It was meant to strengthen Russian allies, but fell through when he and my mother mysteriously vanished. I couldn’t get him out of the back of my mind even after all these years.
I take in his burly frame. He’s much, much older now than when we trained together. I tilt my head and my eyes expand. He’s the same Demetri I used to catch smuggling chocolate into class. Damn, universe, you’re a bitch.
“So, you’re my fiancé? How peachy.” I run my tongue over my lips. “Well, you were my fiancé. I think fifteen years presumed dead is enough for me to call the engagement off, don’t you?” I point to him with my finger, but he doesn’t flinch a muscle.
I shift my eyes to Alena. “Is anything in my life real? You orchestrated it all without my knowledge. Did Dad know?” Evidentially, neither of them can talk at present.
I turn to Dylan, nope, Demetri. “You lied to me,” I say so soundlessly I’m not sure it was out loud.
He takes a step forward, snow whirling with his act. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t sure you were the same Mishka. I found out after I spoke to your mother.”
Demetri watches me closely as he continues, “The skhodka assigned me to your safety. I know why now.”
His fingers interlace with mine. “After spending time with you, I couldn’t let you marry Alexei or Nickolas.” His voice lowers when he adds, “For more than one reason.”
I drop my view to the snow as my face burns with angry tears. I want to know the reasons he hints at, but I can’t bear more half-truths. “And you chose to not tell me any of this. Why?”
Demetri’s heavy sigh resonates in my gut and he places his hand on my arm. I flick my eyes up momentarily. “I wanted to. On several occasions, I nearly did, but then I risked exposure. I couldn’t put you or Alena in danger.”
He looks over to my mother. “She’s been in hiding for years. I couldn’t waste her identities and careful planning.”
“But what about your parents? They were murdered because of my mother,” I remind, meeting his gaze. The feeling in my fingers is quickly disappearing. If I stay out here much longer, I’ll go completely numb. In this moment, I think I’d prefer such a fate.
“My parents understood the risks when they sheltered Alena. If they believed she was worthy of their lives, then I do too,” he reveals without remorse.
I can’t comprehend his blind dedication to my mother. She’s the sole cause of his family’s death. The reason the skhodka whispered him away to Russia and trained him to be an agent of death. My heart lurches when I survey his features. But he didn’t become one. Not completely. He has a soul, I think. He played me like a broken fiddle. Whether he genuinely cares for me or not, I can’t count on him.
Tears prickle my face, amazing me. The temperature is rapidly freezing the drops before they streak to my chin. If Dylan is truly Demetr
i and Eddie put his life at stake to save me today, then I’m royally fucked. Eddie didn’t know the whole truth when he agreed to let Demetri help me out of the country. My sweet Eddie was banking on something he didn’t fully understand. And he’s probably dying for it. I glance in the direction of the cathedral, my gut roiling for new explanations.
If Eddie knew I was betrothed to Demetri, he never would’ve agreed. I stop myself there. No, he would. He loves me too much to see me fall into FBI hands. The gunshots in the distance beckon to me. I have to go back for Eddie.
“There’s no way around this, is there?”
“What’re you talking about?” Demetri asks, raising my chin with his hand.
I want to kill myself when I spy the love emitting from his eyes. So unlike any other man’s. It’s too much. Damn, I want to throw him to the snow and make ardent love to him then slash his neck for being deceitful. It’s clear he cares for me. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t.
I resolve to pry my eyes from his, but can’t. His hold is too strong. Our connection is too deep to be trifled with now that I know his true identity. “This changes everything.”
“It changes nothing,” he insists. “I’m taking you away from here. Once you’re secure, I’ll return and finish what Alena started. She wanted to get rid of the acidic families and replace it with something better, the Vory. I can’t think of any better plot in life.”
I wrinkle my nose in amusement. He thinks he’s the hero in this scenario. “How am I supposed to respond to that?” I step away from his touch. His damned scalding caress I desperately want to swim in until I drown of exhaustion.
“You’re dropping me off at some safe house, then you and my mom are going to gallivant off to crush the forces of Russia?” My voice is lined in sarcastic anger.
The nerve of them is beyond me. Maybe it’s the American in me who can’t grasp what they’re doing. No matter, I can’t accept all of what happened is a smokescreen. “Did I mean anything to you in Verde?”
“Mishka, this is all extremely complicated,” he explains, but I’m not buying it.
I grab his face and pull it to mine then whisper into his ear. “Did any of the dozens of times you fucked me mean anything?” I study his steel blue eyes. He’d never declare it even if it was true.
Demetri anxiously glances to my mother then back to me. “You know how I feel about you,” he assures in an equally hushed tone.
So, he doesn’t even want to admit it in front of my mother. Fuck you, Demetri. If a man can’t admit his affection in front of my own mother, then he has no place in my life.
“No, I don’t in fact. You never told me you loved me. Cared for me, yes, but anyone can say that.” He looks at the ground. “You never told me, as Rory or Mishka, you, as Demetri or Dylan, love me. How am I supposed to believe you when every fucking thing you say is a lie?”
My temper flares at the remembrance of our history. “We were once engaged, but that’s no longer the case. Our relationship died when you went missing. I can’t continue a charade where I don’t know the full ramifications.”
His eyes are desolate as he struggles for words. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how many times I can say that before you understand I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to get involved with you. I was supposed to watch you and keep you safe. That’s it,” Demetri explains with a worried expression on his face.
Deep down, I know what he harbors for me. It was written on his face every time we made love. Ugh, I hate that term so damn much! He’s too stubborn to say it. I can’t forgive him for his insolence.
“That’s how it’s going to be then?” I ask, hoping he’ll give me a little shred of dignity. He nods. Yep, I’m done with this.
I raise my stiff hand and slap Demetri’s face. It’s like striking a brick wall. Shit, it hurts like hell! I retract my swelling hand and try not to show him how much it aches. Alena gasps, but I ignore her.
“You get the hell out of my life and never come back,” I demand through clenched teeth.
“Mishka, don’t do this.” He yanks me against him. His tepid breath cascades down my bare neck like molten lava. Oh, how I’ll miss this. His silvery eyes hold me steady in his arms almost as much as his gruff arms. “He can’t love you like I do.”
“I want to believe you. I really do.”
Demetri leans his forehead to mine. “You are what got me through the last fifteen years. I wanted to escape from this and find you.”
He cups my face in his hands. “I loved you then, and I love you now. Please don’t run from me.” Cautiously, he kisses my mouth. “Run to me.”
My feet are secured to my spot when the man decides to utter the words I illogically long to hear. He says them as if they’re true, but how can I know? I like Dylan, er, Demetri, whatever the fuck his name is, more than I’ll ever like a guy, but that’s because he makes me feel something incredible under his hands. He taps into my reserved sex appeal and uses it to his advantage whether he means to or not. His connection with me makes it all the harder to dismiss him.
His kiss sizzles on my lips as he meets them again. I hate him for this. For making me love him when I can’t afford to. Following him would be too easy. I could bask in the warmth of his passion for eternity.
A snowflake lands on my nose and wakes me from my fairyland. No, I have responsibilities here. The agency depends on me. Eddie needs me. I can’t scurry off, never to be heard of again.
I scrutinize Demetri and come to accept he’s concerned with the end game, whatever it is. I fit into the plan if I go with them. I’m no traitor. Okay, well maybe a little. I may be the daughter of a Russian spy, but that doesn’t mean I must live like one all the time.
Steadying my breath, I address him, “Eddie would never trick me like the two of you.”
I face Alena to finish. “For more than half my life, I might add. I can’t be attached to anyone who lies as effortlessly as they breathe.”
Twirling on my heels, I head back toward the church. I don’t need either one. I want a relationship with my mother and a gut-wrenching love life with Demetri, but I desire a normal life more.
“Mishka, don’t do this,” Demetri calls after me. His voice is lined in concern, but I can’t look back.
“Do you honestly believe your Eddie will stay with you, daughter?” Alena breaks into my stubbornness. I shouldn’t take the bait, but I can’t resist.
Shuffling to face her, I nod. “Yes, I do. He loves me and he’s done everything for me without an ulterior motive.”
Alena glances to her hands then back to me. “Your father was a casualty of war, Mishka. He knew what life he was accepting when he married me. If someone marries into the skhodka, they’re as good as dead,” she resolves fervently.
I shake my head in rebuttal. “If Eddie was given the chance, he would thrive within our organization.”
“You believe he’ll willingly walk into our den of thieves?” She takes a step closer. “You think he’ll kill for you? Because that’s precisely what you want your beloved soldier to do.”
Knowing she isn’t wrong, my patience simmers at the boiling point. “No.”
Eddie would never put aside his standards even if for my sake. He may bend the rules once or twice, but I can’t see him commit any form of felony. Damn him for being a white knight.
Alena tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “We ruin men, Mishka. I did it to your father and you’ve done it to Eddie.” She offers a gloomy smile. “It is the curse of the Vald women. Lives would’ve been saved if I had done things different. If I chose to love within my means.”
I want to inquire deeper, but another round of shots echoes nearby. As thoroughly as I enjoy mother bonding time, I have bigger issues.
My eyes skim to the man who’s unusually quiet during the exchange. So, he’s my match. One our families orchestrated. Though the first, he wasn’t the only innocent skhodka child to be promised to me. It makes sense. Well, the familial bond part. The uni
on of our two bloodlines would create an epic ruler. One who would demolish all foes. Ballsy. Yep, sounds like my mom.
I get why Alena wishes for me to run with them. I’d complete the circle and she could die in peace. Well, too bad, mom. You can’t have it yet. Spinning around, I take a breath and set my course towards Eddie. Always Eddie.
“Mishka, please,” Demetri calls after me.
“Let her go,” my mother commands as I continue my trek. “We’ll continue the plan without her.”
“But what about the politician—” he begins, but Alena shushes his words.
I’m grateful for her intervention, but curious as to their plan. Had Demetri continued, I’d probably give in to him. His invisible clutch is too great and my curiosity would get the better of me. For the time being, I’ll lock the gem that slipped out of his mouth away for a rainy day. It may come in handy.
In the not so far distance, I hear a loud explosion. It sways the trees and shatters windows. Eddie! Rushing toward the sound, I look over my shoulder. Demetri and Alena watch in disbelief as I run toward the FBI infested cathedral, recently torched.
All those romance books I read in Verde must be rubbing the insanity on me. Love doesn’t run. Well, at least not very far.
I hustle through the snow, my feet raw from discarding the heels and trudging over icy sidewalks. Who the hell knows where my mother and ex-lover are headed. It’s none of my concern. I choose Eddie this time. We’ll see how quick the decision kills me.
FBI agents are everywhere when I reach the church. Gunshots reverberate inside and I silently hope it’s Eddie holding off the skhodka instead of the alternative. A sea of wounded men and women surround the outer rim of the yellow taped off section.
Pushing through the imaginary line, I swiftly climb the steps and duck inside. Smoldering tapestries dance along the walls as I enter with caution. I’m not sure what to expect.
Cries from injured souls emanate at every turn. “Eddie!” I call among the smoke constantly rising. No soul answers my call. “Eddie!” I scream as I step over fallen FBI agents. No, this can’t be happening. I can’t lose Eddie! I run through the cathedral, stopping to check the faces of each and every agent.
Assassin by Day Page 23
