by Alexia James
A small smile twisted her mouth, “More like a hundred and four.”
Listening to his laughter, Freya was unable to stop herself voicing a thought she wasn’t certain she wanted to say. “Jeremy,” she hesitated and looked away across the field. “Can I meet your family some day? I’d like to meet your other brothers.”
Freya could not meet his eyes as she spoke. It was an innocent enough request. The implications behind it were what made her hesitate to ask, that and Jeremy’s perceptive nature.
The whole time travel issue had opened up a dark well of grief over Nathan that Freya had thought long buried. She needed to move on from her brother’s death, and forming new friendships and putting herself out there a bit more seemed a better idea than thinking of Nathan every minute. He was long gone and she should try harder to let him rest.
Since learning of the time device, she had instinctively avoided thinking about the possibility of going back to save Nathan. To prevent his death. She could not allow herself this consideration, even were she crushed under the weight of her guilt.
It was wrong, wicked, that she should not wish to go back and save him, but after all the years of grief, she saw a dark road that way. As much as she wanted him, his memory had become more distant now, and if she went back and changed things, would she still have Janet?
If Nathan had lived, Janet may never have been more than one of his many friends that touched her life fleetingly. The thought that she might have to choose between Nathan and Janet was horrifying.
How could she contemplate swapping one for the other? Impossible. After all the years of coming to terms with Nathan’s death, if she went back to prevent it, would she regain him only to lose Janet?
Jeremy’s hand was warm in hers. If Nathan had lived, would she have even been on the road to Reading that day? She thought of Brett. Of him telling her they were good friends, and fleetingly, of Daniel who had taught her an atrocious game of cards and spent all evening laughing with her.
Then there was the issue of fate. Karma. Freya did not believe in any particular deity, but she could not rule out the possibility of such a thing, especially after Nathan. If she prevented Nathan’s death in the car accident, would he then die in some other, more horrible way? Would she have to go through the whole thing again? Jeremy had said as much about larger events in history. She shuddered.
Jeremy’s family were a different matter, independent of her past and friendship with Janet, and she felt a thread of hope unfurl that the grief and guilt she was bleeding might begin to heal more fully.
Jeremy looked down at Freya. She looked almost ethereal to him. She was clutching his hand tightly and gazing out over the field, the sun touching her blond hair making it gleam. A straight curtain of silk shot through with gold, as though she were an angel with a halo of sunlight. He felt his heart lurch at her request and wondered at her single-minded strength: that she had never mentioned her brother despite all she now knew of time travel.
He waited until she looked up at him, her tumbling thoughts having reached their conclusion. “Of course I will take you to see my family. My brothers will be delighted to meet you.” He grinned wickedly, “When they embrace you as another little sister to boss around, you may, of course, regret it. Unfortunately it will be far too late by then, and if you think I second-guess your thoughts a lot, you will get a shock when you meet Brett. He has an uncanny ability to know not only what you are thinking, but also what you are about to think and do as well.”
After spending the morning trooping through the fields, Freya was feeling a little out of her depth. Jeremy had been consistently kind and patient with her, and had not appeared to mind about not finding the time doorway. Instead, he had asked her about her life, her job and her friends. Holding her hand and teasing her over small details; drawing information from her with subtlety enough that she was unaware how much she had told him.
By lunchtime, saying he needed to look at some accounts, he led her back to the house. Freya agreed readily and then hovered, biting her lip, as he put paperwork and bound books on the kitchen table. She watched him uncertainly for a minute.
“Um, I have a few things I should be getting on with, too. Maybe you could take me home with your time device?”
He looked up, dark eyes shining with warmth. “Freya. Make no mistake, the only way you are going to get home is through that time rip, and I am going to be there with you. So until you can remember where it is, you will simply have to stay here with me.”
Freya stared at him in dawning comprehension. Of course he knew she was lying about not knowing its location, he always saw through her lies. It occurred to her that he had not let her out of his sight all morning. He had effectively trapped her here since last night and she had only just realised it.
Unbelievable. The rat had second-guessed her thoughts, and was effectively keeping her prisoner until she did as she was told.
It was unnerving that he not only seemed to know what she was thinking, but also coolly planned ahead of her. She tried to do the same.
Why would he want to know the location of the time doorway? The only possible reason that presented itself was that he wanted to get it closed. What would he do after that? The options weren’t great: not see her again, trap her here permanently, or control her travelling himself.
Freya did not like any of the above and so decided, in this matter, she would have to outsmart him. But how to do it? She surveyed him for a moment. Her first priority was to gain some time to think without him watching so closely. She rubbed her forehead and sat down opposite him. “Mind if I sit here?” she asked, trying out a wide-eyed look on him.
He smiled in response, “Not at all.”
Half an hour later, Jeremy was deep into accounts. Freya had watched him work in silence for a while and then put her head down on her arms, closing her eyes and allowing her thoughts to wander.
If she waited long enough, there was bound to be an opportunity when she could make her escape. He could not watch her every minute of the day. If she kicked up a fuss, she had the feeling he would only keep tighter control over her movements.
If she asked him out straight, would he tell her his intentions? Why hadn’t he talked to her last night? Why had he kept her here? The questions went round endlessly. She sighed. Watching him work, she felt her heart speed up. She did not want to feel this way about him. What if he didn’t feel the same way about her, or more terrifying, what if he did?
“Jeremy,” she paused, waiting for him to look up, “Why do you want to know where the time doorway is?”
“So that I may monitor it with a view to getting it closed. It is dangerous for such a thing to be here. If you managed to slip through then others might, too. However, they may not be so lucky as to be able to return.”
She was right. He did want it closed.
“So, um, why didn’t you insist last night? Why did you keep me here?”
“Would it have done me any good to insist?” he said on a slight smile. “Besides, you had a tough day. I didn’t like to think of you driving back to Reading, at God knows what hour of the night, when you were already tired and upset.” Jeremy watched her closely and saw her accept the truth of his words. A minor success that she recognised he might worry over her safety.
“What about Martin, didn’t you ask him?”
“Martin was unaware of how he managed to get here. You appear to be the only one who knows the location of the thing. At present.”
Freya sighed. For all his gentle words, his agenda hadn’t changed, and as she could only sneak off when he wasn’t looking, he was unlikely to make it easy for her. Obviously, his current plan was to bore her into escaping. He would then, presumably, allow her to think she had given him the slip and simply follow her to the time doorway.
Well she wasn’t having that. She would scupper that little plan and bide her time until he was genuinely distracted. She would get back without leading him to the time doorway. Absol
utely. It was a matter of principle as much as anything else. He would not best her in this.
She would simply not allow him to discover the location of the time doorway, but even as the thought formed, she remembered Brett telling her the location and implying that Jeremy knew. It had to be only a matter of time before Jeremy discovered it. He was already aware it was close by.
If she managed to get back, she would need to make the trip worthwhile. She was confident she could manage to escape undetected once, but Jeremy would almost certainly come after her.
The ideal solution would be to have her own time device, especially as Jeremy now believed she didn’t have one. Then if he dragged her back she would still have her own means to return home, but where would she get one. The only people she knew who had access to such things were Jeremy and Greg.
Greg. He lived in 2008. She had been to his office, seen the mess, it must surely be possible to obtain a device from there. What was she thinking? That she would steal a time device? Surely that would make her no better than the felons Jeremy was here to collect, but what harm would such a device cause in her hands. It was not as if she was hiding from the law. She would not even use the thing unless forced to, and only then to return to her own time. It would simply be a guarantee that she could get home. Like a car, it would give her independence. Surely that was not such a bad thing.
So. She would do it if possible. She would use the time doorway to go back to 2008, go to Greg’s office and steal a device. Then it would not matter if Jeremy discovered the time doorway.
Perhaps she could stay with Janet whilst she finalised her plans. Jeremy didn’t know about Janet, he would not think to look for her there. So. Possibly.
She glanced up. Jeremy was absorbed in accounting once more, so she leaned her arms on the table, chin resting in one hand and watched him work.
He had a strong face and his shock of dark hair was in need of a cut, it curled around messily, making her want to run her fingers through it. He was frowning slightly, pen scribbling away covering page after page in his neat scripted figures.
It was quiet. The sun just beginning to creep across the kitchen top from the window frame, and she felt a sense of peace here that she was beginning to recognise with each visit.
Here all the rules were suspended. It did not matter if she had chores to do because she could not deal with them. They did not exist here, none of the normal rules applied. There was only the quiet house and calm, capable man who she was beginning to fall in love with.
She had finally admitted it. She would not lie to herself. Just because she had feelings for him, it didn’t mean she had to act on them. She wondered idly if Jeremy felt the same way, or if he would have flirted with any pretty girl who crossed his path. He must know how she felt about him and clearly, he was not above taking advantage of her feelings to get what he wanted, but he had not pressed her further than a few kisses.
Before he had realised she was not from 1908 he had been flirting with her and offering to give her a lift home. Now having scared her half to death by transporting her here from the market, and everything else that followed, he was obviously trying to slow things down between them, to give her a chance to view him as a friend.
She remembered Greg’s words to his colleague that if Jeremy wanted her he would trap her here in the past with him. He had effectively done just that, but only because he wanted the location of the time doorway.
Then she remembered his expression in the field when she had asked to meet his family, and all the times he had been gentle with her. He had asked her endless questions about her life. Drawing information from her and teasing her about some of her replies. Surely that indicated a more personal interest. If so, it made sense that he had not gone further than those few kisses. He was smart enough to take things slowly with her.
She was watching him speculatively when, as though feeling her gaze, he suddenly looked up. His eyes rested on her face, warm with amusement, a half smile curving his mouth. Freya could see affection and calculation in his gaze. Jeremy did feel the same way about her. His feelings had lit up his face in the instant he looked on her, before other emotions showed as he began to guess at her thoughts.
With that realisation came another: she did not want to escape from him. The peace and sense of belonging she felt with him was beyond anything she had known before. She squirreled the idea away in her mind, unsure what to do about it. She wanted to be glad, but the idea of a permanent relationship was a little scary. It was one thing for her to feel the beginnings of love, but quite another to have those feelings reciprocated.
She had learned a hard lesson with Nathan’s death. Life was transitory; fleeting. For a long time she had known this, had known she could not hide from life but had to grab on to everything it offered her. To love where she found it and not step back from fear of loss, but knowing something intellectually and actually putting it into practise were two entirely different matters.
Aside from Janet, she had not wanted to feel such intense emotion for another being, had been too afraid of losing someone she loved, as she had lost Nathan. As far as she knew, Jeremy had not suffered such a loss in his life, but at the back of her mind she recognised his more perplexing behaviour for what it was. Fear of loss.
When she had sensed his violence after hearing about Martin and the knife, when he had locked her in the bedroom the evening before and even now, keeping her here until she showed him the time doorway. It wasn’t just about finding the location. He was trying to spend more time with her and get to know her better. He was afraid of losing her.
She wondered what it would be like to have a serious relationship with someone like Jeremy. She already knew he wouldn’t be easy to deal with. That he would want to control their relationship and be involved in all aspects of her life. Taking on her accounts hadn’t been the huge act of altruism she had believed. It had suited him to take on the responsibility.
What if he wanted her to live with him in 1908? Even if he allowed her visiting rights, if you like, without her time doorway they would be supervised visiting rights.
If she managed to get past that and committed herself to a relationship with this man, would she ever be truly free again? She had enough of her own experience of loss to know how it could control you.
Late afternoon. The sun beat down on Jeremy’s walled garden. On the earth and weeds, the rust speckled dock leaves, and on Freya as she crouched down, separating grass, dandelions and buttercup roots from the clods of earth Jeremy was turning with a large garden fork.
She stood up too fast and swayed slightly as the blood left her head. Jeremy’s arm went instantly round her waist, steadying her. “Perhaps we should go inside for a while.”
“Nah, I’m okay and it’d be good to get this bit done.”
The gate opening had them both turning. Jeremy stepped forward automatically, half shielding her from whoever was coming in.
Now that she was beginning to recognise his actions for what they were, she wasn’t so intimidated by him and even began to find it amusing at times. He really was well suited to this era.
Freya winked at Joe who was shutting the gate behind him. Joe tipped his cap at Jeremy, holding out his hand to shake and returned her wink, lightening fast, when Jeremy took a moment to glance back at her.
“Joe, good to see you.” Freya stepped forwards to greet Joe, avoiding getting within Jeremy’s reach instinctively. “Can I get you a drink?”
“That would be most kind. A glass of water would be just the thing.”
He turned to Jeremy and said “Garden’s coming along well, any ideas on plants yet?”
Freya walked casually out the gate, letting it click closed behind her. She hesitated, waiting for Jeremy to come running out after her and then listened intently for a moment. She could hear Jeremy clearly, as he spoke to Joe.
This was it then. She took a breath and found her heart suddenly pounding. Quiet as a mouse, she raced around the
back of the walled garden and made for the time doorway.
It was only that she knew the location of it so well that she was able to find it so fast. She stepped through feeling the familiar rush of air away from her. Freya knew she would not have long to make her escape. As soon as Jeremy was able to get rid of Joe he would use his device to come after her, and this time he would begin with the field she was in now.
She took off running around the meadow. The wellies Jeremy had provided her with for the gardening were overlarge, but much easier to run in than her heels. She ran full out towards the road and felt joy rush through her at the site of her van, still parked where she had left it the day before. Of Martin’s four by four, there was no sign.
She slid around a bit in the mud as she made for the driver’s door, and sputtered out a sound somewhere between a whoop and a laugh of delight as she fished out the key.
Shucking the wellies into the passenger foot-well, Freya lost no time reversing up the lane and heading for the M4. It was immensely fun to be on the motorway once more, and she felt an incredible sense of freedom. The sky was overcast with clouds, just the kind of day she would have loathed previously, but it only seemed to add to her sunny mood. Here, doing sixty between junctions, Jeremy could not possibly find her. For these few miles, she was safe. She had done it. She had escaped.
Although it was fun to have outsmarted him, Freya was certain she had nothing to fear from Jeremy and, if she were completely honest with herself, she hadn’t really wanted to leave. It was more about being uncertain if she was ready for a relationship with him. One where he held all the cards.
The idea was a little freaky. Even worse was the knowledge she was already obsessed with him to the point that his mere proximity could obliterate rational thought. So it was with some caution that she drove into Reading.
It had been two hours since she had left Jeremy and he would now certainly be looking for her. Parking in a nearby multi-storey, she walked nervously to her friend’s home. Janet answered almost straightaway, gave a beaming grin and grabbed her by both arms to haul her into a hug.
