“Do you know how Cadence does it?”
“No,” Brent said. “I figure it’s best not to ask. She sneaks out and does whatever she has to. And, well, I don’t want to know. I’m a meat eater, but I’ve never been one for the slaughter. When I was growing up, I used to think, if someone wasn’t killing all the cows for me, I’d quit eating burgers and become a vegetarian.”
“Yeah.” David finished his sausage and started on his eggs. Now incredibly aware that those, too, were the product of another form of extinguished life. “You mind if I ask you a personal question?”
“Shoot. What’s on your mind, Davey?”
“How long have you and Cadence been dating? Or seeing each other? Or whatever she might call it?”
“She might call it courting.” Brent chuckled. “She has a strange way of talking. But that’s what makes her interesting. One of the things, anyway. But, to answer your question, we’re not dating. Didn’t I mention that when we first met?”
“Yeah. No, you did. So the separate bedrooms? It’s been that way from the start?”
Brent began eating a little faster. Maybe hoping to end the conversation early. “Since she moved in. Yeah.”
“But you two were dating before, right? What happened? Didn’t realise living together was a mistake until you did it?” David giggled. “It always sounds like a good idea when you aren’t.”
“Not that, really,” Brent replied. “We never... It was a blind date set up. Last one I ever went on, if you know what I mean.” David nodded and shook his head. “She liked me. But I wasn’t into her. Wasn’t then. Still not. I mean, don’t get me wrong. She’s a wonderful person, but as far as marriage, love, sex, kids, all that. No. I mean, I always figured I’d find someone else, eventually, or she would. But this town being as small as it is—and no new blood coming here to settle—it’s not likely that will ever happen.” Brent finished his breakfast and reached over for David’s empty plate.
“So you two just cohabit? Share a living space? Like room-mates? Like me and Junie?”
“Yeah. You could call it any of those things.”
“She’s got a different idea,” David said. “Not that it’s any of my business. Just an outsider’s perspective. Maybe you’re used to it, but the way she talks when she’s dealing with other people, especially other men... She’s scared to death someone might get the wrong idea.”
“No.” Brent laughed. “She’s just afraid people might get the wrong idea about her. I told you, Davey. She’s old fashioned. And a constant worrier. This situation is bad enough. Two people possibly living in sin. She’s worried people might think that about her.”
“No. She’s worried sick people might think she’s not faithful to you. She’s holding out for you, man.”
“You city kids, I swear.” Brent moved toward the patio door. “There’s nothing there, trust me. She just doesn’t have anyone. Between you and me, she’s afraid she never will. She knows I’m not interested. I like to think I’m a decent guy, but there has to be attraction in a relationship between a man and his wife or girlfriend, right? I mean, no matter how good a person you are, you can’t sustain a healthy relationship with someone you find totally physically unappealing. I mean, how long could you go on pretending, right?”
“I don’t know,” David said. “Never shacked up with anyone I wasn’t at least a little hungry for, if you know what I mean.”
“What are you saying?” Brent asked as he opened the door.
“Nothing. Just. You should talk to her about your relationship. I mean, this is your house, right?” Brent nodded. “And this is only my opinion. But consider you two have been together for, what...?”
“Coming up on seven years now.”
“Seven years?” David coughed up a little juice. “Okay, so you two have been together for seven years, and in all that time neither of you has dated anyone else?”
“Yeah. So?”
“I’m just saying. And this is just me talking about what I’m seeing and hearing. I don’t know your history, so I won’t presume to. But she talks about you like she’s beholden to you. She calls you her ‘beloved’, for God’s sake. I’m pretty sure that means something more serious than ‘friend’.”
“Crazy.” Brent waved him off. “I told you, she has a funny way of putting things. That just means she loves me. As a friend. She’s super old fashioned. Ask her about her beloved toaster.” Brent slid the door on its rails and looked at his watch. “Listen, Davey. I appreciate where you’re coming from, but you’ll get used to her eventually. You’ll see it’s nothing. You know...”
“What?” David asked.
“I was thinking, it’s too bad you’ve got a woman living with you. I mean, I’m glad you do. She’s a beauty, that’s for sure. But Cadence does just love you. You’ve noticed that if you noticed all those other things, and—”
“Really? I get the feeling she wants to kill me.”
Brent shook his head. “I told you, she’s got a funny way about her. Like I was saying, you two get along pretty well and, who knows? Then again, maybe not. I mean, to be honest, she’s a scary looking woman. Built like a pickup truck. With a broken grille. And she smells a little gamy. But that’s just my opinion. If you’re into her, you have my blessing, which you don’t need, since she’s a single, free woman. Anyway, I have to go. I’ll see you tonight? Seven?”
“Yeah,” David said. “And you’re welcome to cosy up to Junie, if you can stand her. She digs you. Have a good one, Brent.”
“You too, buddy. Take care of the women for me.” Brent winked, trembling slightly. Sweating at the thought of having Juno, and dreaming about how soft and warm her mouth and tongue felt sucking his thumb, as he slid the door closed behind him and walked to the driveway. Minutes later, the vibration of Brent’s car starting and driving away made the kitchen table shake slightly.
David stretched his arms, looking back at the clock above the kitchen counter and out the sliding glass patio door at his new home.
“Good morning, David.” Cadence’s voice called out from the hallway. He turned around to see her walking into the kitchen, wearing a plaid robe, tied at the waist. She sat at Brent’s place at the table, with a good view of the hallway and her closed bedroom door. “Juno’s still sleeping off the sickness from last night.” She reached over and placed her right hand on his. “That wasn’t fair.”
“What?” he asked. “Not letting her know about the meat? I didn’t even know to tell her, Melody.”
“Not that. And please quit calling me that name. It’s—”
“Oh, you mean not telling either of us? You’re right. That wasn’t the least bit—”
“You know what I mean. Cornering Brent like that. You had no right.”
“Cornering him?” David pulled back his hand. “All I did was ask him simple questions.”
She crossed her arms and looked down, her face going soft and turning red. “I told you I promised myself to Brent and we were to be married. Maybe not today, but someday. I told you in confidence. You’re absolutely infuriating.” She held up her right index finger. “And don’t think that just because I don’t want to have to hurt you any more, I won’t. You’re not being fair. And I will not be held emotional hostage.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t be having this conversation while—”
Cadence glared at her bedroom door. “No, we should be. Juno won’t be awake to hear anything until we’re through. I already saw to that.”
“Then, aside from your straw-man argument about how I’m the root of all your suffering, you heard what he said?”
“Sometimes, I hate... No, I’m sorry. Damn you.” Cadence continued to dodge David’s gaze. “Yes, I heard him. But he just said that because you put him on the spot, David. You don’t have any idea how he feels. You backed him into a corner and he didn’t know what to—”
“No, I don’t think so. I think, just like Junie, when he looks at you, he sees someone he can’t stand the s
ight of. Although, they both see something radically different. Does everyone see you differently? Is that part of your game?” Cadence looked at the floor, shaking her head. “And why doesn’t he ever kiss you or return your terms of endearment? Do you really think it’s because he’s been waiting for the right moment? And he just hasn’t been able to find it for the last seven years? Why did he offer you up to me?”
“He’s a good man. He takes care of me. I promised myself to him—”
“Yeah, well, he doesn’t recall ever having heard that. Or making that promise to you in return. From what I could tell, from our brief conversation, he tolerates you. Probably because you provide for him. You provide him with things like his precious meat. Which I’m starting to feel funny about continuing to eat, by the way.”
“He’s a good man. Unlike you, and he—”
“He’s not attracted to you. He thinks you’re ugly and smell funny.”
She slammed her hands on the table, fuming. “I know I’m not a... A beautiful woman, David. I’m well aware. Thank you for pointing out the obvious. I know I have a strong scent. I was born with it. I can’t help it. No amount of body wash or perfume will ever drown it out. I have over-active hormones, or foul smelling pheromones. I was born with them. And, if he finds me so repugnant, then why am I still here? Answer me that.”
“I already have.” He stood and began to raise his voice too. “You’re here because it’s convenient. And whose hormones were you born with? Yours or Cadence’s? Are you so caught up in the lies you tell everyone else you can’t be straight with me at all?”
“No...” She twitched. “I get confused. I’m upset and you—”
“Yeah, yeah. Always so bewildered. Try sticking to the truth. It’s much less confusing.”
“That’s not the point. You’re just... You’re not always right, and—”
“Fine. Stick with pretending you are who you say you are. Either way, you can wait until the day you die and, maybe, when he’s counting out his final seconds, he’ll tell you how much he loved you his entire life and how sorry he feels about never letting you know, but it will still be a lie. In his own words, you’re a scary looking woman, built like a pickup truck with a busted grille, who smells a little gamy. Ever since you changed me, or turned me, or did whatever you did to me, you can hear what I hear unless I make it so you can’t. Which means you’ve heard him talk to strangers about how repulsive he finds you. How soon are you expecting that ring to end up on your finger?”
She stood and screamed: “Fuck you.” Immediately turning pink with embarrassment and lowering her tone. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to use vulgarities... Again.” Then she went right back to yelling. “But you have no right to say what you say. It’s none of your business.”
“Look.” He grabbed her arms and she tried to fight him off. Desperately staring anywhere but in his eyes. “As much as you go out of your way to piss me off and treat me like a delusional nit-wit, I like you. And maybe I’m not the one. But when I look at you, I don’t see a scary woman. I don’t see a sickening freak, like Junie does. I don’t see a woman who needs to be set at her own table when guests are over for supper. I don’t see whatever face and body it is you show to everyone else.”
“You should look more closely, David. Maybe, just maybe, you’re wrong and everyone else is right. I should know. I have to live in this body every moment of every day of my life. I know what I look like and I know how I smell and I know what I am.”
“That’s funny, because no one describes you in the same way. In fact, the only point most people agree on is you’re female,” David said. “If you’re so intent on having Brent, why don’t you show him a face and a body he wants to see. Wouldn’t that make things easier? You’ve done it to me. Twice now. Making yourself ugly and repellent obviously isn’t working. And you don’t have to live in that body. What are you trying to prove by—?”
“That looks don’t matter to a good man, David.”
“Looks are entirely subjective. Our history has twice proven that you’re, apparently, allergic to good men. By your definition of one. And you’ve already stated multiple times in multiple ways that you’re waiting for him to find you beautiful so that he’ll love you, which would, logically, not make him a good man, and—”
She held her finger in front of David’s mouth. “This is how it is: Brent loves me, and I promised myself to him.”
“You just forgot to mention it, I guess.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means he doesn’t think you want that. You were listening. Don’t pretend you only heard the parts of the conversation that suit you.”
“It’s easy for you to judge me, I know. You’ve been doing it since... Because you have a beautiful female companion. At least, she’s beautiful on the outside. You’ve probably always had one on each arm. You don’t know what it’s like to be ugly. To feel ashamed of yourself and who you are.”
“What are you talking about? I’m a junkie, a hustler, a drug dealer and a thief. I’ve been abusing drugs since I was fourteen. My father may as well have never existed and my mother was absent so often, before she died and left me altogether, I can barely remember her face. And my friends weren’t much better. My uncle—my mentor—was someone I made up to keep me from feeling completely alone. At least, I thought I made him up, until recently. But I’m well acquainted with shame and self-loathing. I think you, with the powers you have, make yourself ugly. So the whole world sees what you see when you look in their eyes. And that ugliness compounds the more you believe it’s the truth of you and not someone else’s skewed perspective.”
“Then why did you say you found me beautiful the first time you saw me? Why did you lie about that?”
“I wasn’t lying, Melody. And I wasn’t lying, Cadence. You know that. You could sense that, at the least, if you really had stopped invading my privacy. But I’m your equal now, right?” She moved back, cradling herself in her arms, starting to sway. Looking nervous. “I’m not really, I know, but I’m close enough. Come with me.”
He reached out and motioned for her to take his hand. She shook her head and backed into the corner. He moved to her side and grabbed at her arm.
“I’ll scream,” she said.
“Go ahead, Cadence. Scream. The only person in the house who can hear you is Junie, and you already did your thing from last night to make sure she wouldn’t wake, didn’t you?” She nodded and shivered. “Scream at the top of your lungs.”
She opened her mouth, threatening to let loose with the mother of all horrifying wails, but as he grabbed her arm she let herself be pulled along, back into her room. Juno still lay on the bed, sleeping like a baby.
David scanned the room, his eyes stopping on the closet in the far corner, to the right of the head of her bed. He marched Cadence over to it.
“Feel free to go through my things, David,” she said, as he yanked the door open. “I was entirely wrong about you. Then and now. You’re a horrible person.”
“Maybe so.” He steadied the door and set it so the full length mirror on its inside pointed directly back at them both. “Now, please, quit staring at the floor and look at yourself.”
“I know what I look like,” she said. “You’re being more cruel than any man I’ve ever known. I can’t believe I let you so close to me. I can’t believe I let you trick me into making you so powerful. That’s all you wanted all along, wasn’t it? I made you my peer and now your cruel nature is becoming a part of me. Your foul language has already begun eating away at my own and, last night, when you made me want... I mean, when I...” She shook her head violently. “You’re so much better than my Brent, but you just wanted something from me too. And now you have it—”
“Don’t lay that at my feet,” he interrupted. “I don’t know if it ever occurred to you, but when you left me... I loved you and...” David coughed into his free hand, sucking in a breath and collecting himself. Looking at her downward-faci
ng eyes. “And you fucked me up worse than anyone before, in the most devastating way possible. You crushed me. You took advantage of my desire for you. When you abandoned me, you broke my heart. And I need you to know that and understand it. I was just a kid and you—”
“That was never my intention, David. And what did you know of love? Except that it made you feel funny between your legs. This world is bigger than you. Life isn’t all about you. I don’t suppose anyone else’s needs matter at all—”
“No, I suppose they don’t, Melody. God forbid you should be inconvenienced and keep a promise no one forced you to make. But, after I lost you, while I spent my life with my drug-addicted, absentee mother. Waiting for her to die and leave me too... You shouldn’t have done that. Not without any warning. I never asked you to like me in return, even if I wanted it desperately. You made a conscious choice to reciprocate my feelings for you. Just like you begged me to allow you to make me your equal, which was a slight misstatement. You didn’t have to do it.”
“I had no choice. You know full well.”
“No, you had a choice, Cadence. Then. And now. You could have avoided making me your ally by letting my opportunity to provide for you. Or, for this town, more correctly. By letting that pass until the next opportunity presented itself. You don’t enjoy partaking of the provision. Only Brent, and the others, do. If anyone, or anything, tricked you into trying to make me an equal, it was Brent. Or your unwillingness to face the fact he doesn’t see you the way you wish he did.”
“You’re so much better, though. Aren’t you?” she asked. “Twice now. Making me feel special. Making me feel loved, so you can destroy me with your sickness. The hate that’s inside you. Maybe if you smack me around. Give me a good thrashing, like you and Juno enjoy doing to each other so much. Maybe then you’ll be satisfied you’ve done enough damage and leave me alone.”
“I’m not going to hit you. And how the hell did I hurt you, Melody? I was there. I waited. You’re the one who never came back. Now... Jesus. Just shut your mouth and take a look at yourself.”
fiX - A ParaBnormal Fairy Tale Page 31
