David took away part of Juno’s blindness, staring into her eyes. Making the unused bedroom’s state in the Beneath visible to her. “You sure about that?”
She turned her head away from him in disgust, glancing back into the room and, as promised, she let out a blood curdling scream. Cadence laughed inside his head. Trying not to sound too happy and apologising immediately afterward for her taking delight in another’s misfortune.
The empty bedroom was covered in blood. Bones strewn everywhere, and bits of flesh strung all around. Wallets, guns, Machetes and bags of dope littering the floor.
“That’s what’s left of everyone Ricky sent after us so far,” he said. “I didn’t have enough time to grind the bones down earlier. But I’ll get to that soon. Maybe. You still think I’m off my nut, Junie? Still think I’m a frightened little mouse? Still convinced I always have been? Or are you ready to take the blinders off?”
She ran into the bathroom and began vomiting into the toilet. “Oh my God, Davey.” She panted and moaned as she finished heaving. “Where did that come from? You did that? You killed them all? You were serious?”
“Serious as a stroke. They’re all going to die tomorrow and that will be the end of that.”
“But...” She came out of the bathroom, wiping her mouth with a towel. Scared and shaking. “This isn’t making any sense. Where did all that come from? It wasn’t there before. I know it wasn’t. Are you going to kill me too? What if they don’t bring everyone?”
“I don’t expect they will. And why would I kill you? Look at it this way. If Ricky or Paulie doesn’t show, you can still run back to the one that’s left and hope he keeps his word.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” She smacked David across the face and throttled him. Trying to ignore the pain in her hand and wondering why her death grip wasn’t making the slightest indentation in his neck. “Crazy mother fucker. What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, just because I kill a whole bunch of them, doesn’t mean they won’t take you back and get you all fixed up like you want. You can still go back to your profession of choice. If you think about it, the other way—if they do all show—is even better because, let’s face it, they’ll probably kill you, anyway. Junkie prostitutes aren’t that hard to come by. And you, being with me, aren’t really in either of their good graces. Never will be, no matter what they say to string you along. If you can lay low until they’re all dead, you can start working for whoever takes over the neighbourhood. I mean, I’m not trying to solve the crime problem. Or even the drug-related crime problem. I’m just trying to solve the ‘Ricky and Paulie are fucking up my life’ problem. You’re still good. If it helps, you can get back to your work, and your habit, right away. There’s nothing but smack and crystal in that room. And Brent would gladly pay you for a night in heaven.”
“Davey, oh Jesus,” she said, still dry heaving. “You said you loved me, but you’re guaranteeing they make me ugly. I’m worse than dead now. No matter what. You son of a bitch.”
“Look, Junie.” He grabbed her by the shoulders and watched her face screw up with pain. “If you’d shut up and listen for a moment, you’d hear what I’m saying. All you have to do, until this is over, is stay behind me and stay out of my way. If they have to come through me to get to you, you’re not going to die, and you’ll never have to suffer their abuse again. But if you walk out front. If you accept their offer of protection, then, yes, you will most certainly be dead by tomorrow.”
“I can’t believe you did this to me, Davey.”
“Look. It is what it is. I’m going to kill all those mother fuckers to get them off my back. You’re going to go back to blowing strangers for drugs and change. We’re all going to do what we’re going to do.”
“You’re going to abandon me?” she asked.
“You offered me up to save your own ass, Junie. You should be thanking me for making sure you get through this unharmed. Once it’s all over, you’re back on your own. I can’t carry you forever.”
“I never...” She flushed. “I would never sell you out.”
“And tell me you weren’t just as willing to blow the sting operation that got us here, back when Ricky cornered you in the thrift store. Remember that? Tell me that wasn’t what his shushing stopped you from spilling.”
She shook her head furiously. “Davey, I would never... You know that.”
“I know what I know. You told me as much while we were waiting for our ride out here. Remember? I’m sure you do, so you can knock off the act.” He walked back into the master bedroom. “And, starting tomorrow, your favourite neighbour is going to start living here. You can do yourself a favour and begin treating her with respect.”
“Who? Cadence? Are you shitting me? What’s she going to be doing? Setting out silverware and getting all flustered over how poorly the violence and bloodshed is reflecting on her? She’s going to be here while you face Ricky and his goons? Davey? Wake the fuck up. For God’s sake. You’re really scaring me.”
“I’m sorry, Junie. You should get some rest. We have a big day tomorrow. And I don’t need your frightened, weak, back-stabbing, mousey little ass making things more complicated than they’re already going to be.” He sat her on the bed. She continued to stare forward in disbelief and confusion, her body quaking. “You’ll see. Cadence will be fine. She’ll help out, and everything will be taken care of. I want you to be respectful of her. She’s dealt with a lot tonight. Realising Brent never had any intention of being with her, after seven years of waiting. I know you think that’s hilarious, but she took that seriously, and it was hard on her. Her feelings got hurt.”
Juno scoffed. “Her feelings? Davey? Her fucking feelings? I’m going to die. Fuck her God damned feelings.”
“Look, Junie. If you can’t show her the respect she deserves. Especially after she and Brent took us in and helped us, when they didn’t even know us and there was an army coming to kill us. If you can’t do that, then you’ll end up out in front of me.”
“You’d let them kill me to keep Cadence from getting her feelings hurt?”
“I never thought about it that way, but yes. Yes, I would.” He pulled back the bedsheets and laid her down. “She’s been very good to us. Better than you’ll ever know. We could have been lunch if she’d so chosen.”
“What does that mean?” She pulled the covers over her head. “You would seriously put her over me? After all the time I’ve spent with you? The stuff I’ve been through? Quitting the dope with you? That means nothing to you? Seriously? And why would I be lunch? You may be talking crazy, but that really makes me worry. What do you mean by that? I want to know.”
“Maybe you’ll find out.”
She threw off her covers. “You know what? I think I will... The dope in the other bedroom might help. I should fix. Use just a little. This is too fuckin’ crazy and I need—”
“No. The junk isn’t there anymore. And you’re going to need to rest for tomorrow.” He turned out the lights, took away Juno’s sight and put her to sleep.
One thing’s for sure, he said. This town is going to be mighty upset if they get wind of your leaving. They do love their meat and none of them has the stomach to provide it.
Don’t worry, my beloved, Cadence replied. I’ll take care of breaking that news to Brent. And he’ll, most definitely, tell all our neighbours.
Thanks, angel. He felt her blush and shiver. Loving being called that, and feeling like he’d always known that about her.
Although, as you say, they may not be too happy, either. We could have a nasty situation on our hands.
True. David replied. But I’m confident it will work itself out. Strangely enough, after all that’s happened today, I feel completely untroubled. Like nothing bad ever happened. Cadence let out a contented sigh. I think, as long as we stick together. As long as we do that, this will all turn out perfectly.
I know it will. You’ll see things will get better over time. All things.
As we’ve come together, I’ve been feeling your pain more acutely. The emotional disturbance and the drug withdrawal. The more deeply we merge, the more all of that ugliness will leave you. All of it will disappear if you allow me to share the weight with you and help purge it through my own human vessel. I’m going to sleep now. I’ll dream of you tonight, David. My beloved.
And I’ll dream of you, angel, he said as he began to fall asleep atop the covers.
“...This is not a fairy tale... And I hope you haven’t stopped listening to me again.”
It’s laying under the sheets alone on the last night It intends to stay in the disgusting monkey’s wooden box. And though It wears a smile on Its face, perhaps because of that, It worries me. More than ever now.
Because It’s letting Its monkey mind dream freely, after speaking to my favourite monkey and hoping for the best. And hope is an illusion and a weakness. It surely knows no certain outcome can be gained from implementing it as a course of action.
But Its monkey mind wants to believe all will be well. That my favourite monkey will still accept It when he learns of how It came to be here, in this place, now. The long journey It took. The many forms It assumed along the way. And I can’t be sure that is going to happen. Not if It moulds Its story, in any way, to what It thinks my favourite monkey wants to hear.
Because I wasn’t assigned to help It back Home before It realised It wished to return. And, by the time my mission began, It had already learnt to live with the monkeys. To wallow with them in their filth and try to help them. To try to fix things that can’t be fixed.
It needs to listen to me so I can instruct It how to ensure my favourite monkey will stay with It. To make sure It tells him the whole truth. So I can be sure of their union which, although It will protect my favourite monkey from my wrath, is the most assured method I can employ if I want to steer It Home. If they split apart again, It may never hear my instruction. And It might spend what feels like an eternity continuing to try and repair the broken monkeys It doesn’t have the power to, by our God’s design.
And if It continues to cling to Its pride. If It leaves out any details of Its story It fears my favourite monkey won’t be able to accept. If It continues to believe It knows the one way back, It will be lost forever, as will I.
Because I know the only thing my favourite monkey will accept is the truth. No matter if it makes him feel wronged or betrayed.
No matter how ‘bad’ It considers Its past actions to have been, It must equate those actions with the positive future they played a part in creating. And It must accept them Itself. That is the only assured way for It to gain his confidence and ensure his obligation.
It’s been so close the entire time It’s spent on this earth. So close to Its Father and so close to Its Home. But Its monkey mind has convinced It something ‘good’ must be done for It to be allowed to live in His grace again. Its vanity will never cease to enrage me.
And I scream at It while Its monkey eyeballs roll under their lids and an infuriating smile plays upon Its sickening monkey lips:
“...This is not a fairy tale... And what you hide will eventually become lost.”
Brent got up, dressed, showered and shaved by 7:27 in the morning and wandered into his kitchen to have breakfast before heading off to work. His head was still swimming with visions of the previous evening. Trying hard to reconcile his lust for Cadence with the complete absence of the same he’d felt for the previous seven years. Wondering if Juno had been getting him all hot and bothered on purpose, especially with the somewhat suggestive goodnight she’d insisted on breathing heavily into his ear on her way out the door, and if her constant non-committal flirtation had made him see Cadence in a more appealing light. Thinking that wasn’t such a bad thing and thinking they should try that experiment again as soon as possible.
As he moved to open the refrigerator and grab some eggs and sausage, he noticed Cadence had already made breakfast for the both of them. She was sitting at her place, wearing a long sleeved burlap dress that hid her body from him, her hair in a bun, and looking at the table.
“Good morning.” He spoke the words weakly as he took his seat. Wondering, again, if the previous night had been a freak occurrence and things were back to normal now. As she looked at him, he rubbed his eyes. Her face was still as beautiful. Maybe even more so than it looked the night before, and she wasn’t wearing any make-up. She had three large suitcases packed and sitting beside the patio door.
“Good morning, Brent,” she said. “Please sit down and eat. We need to talk.”
He chuckled and raised his eyebrows in response. “Uh oh. What’s all that?” He pointed to the suitcases.
“The contents of my room,” she replied. “Everything else that’s left in there is yours to keep. It’s mostly stuff I no longer want and other things I don’t remember if they belong to me or not. In any event, everything that’s left is yours to do with as you wish. It’s the least I can do to repay you for the hospitality you’ve shown me for the past seven years. I wish I could leave you with more. Like money for your kindness, but I don’t have any to give you.”
He sat and chewed on a sausage. “That’s it? You’re going to leave? Like that? All of a sudden? No warning at all?” He looked at his plate, playing with his eggs. “Why now? Why like this? Do you even have any place to go?”
“Not so sudden.” She looked back down and sniffled. “Not without warning. It’s been seven years since I moved in, Brent. For those seven years I remained faithful to you. I thought... I believed with all my heart you loved me and you’d make me your wife someday. Or you’d, at least, begin to share your bed with me. I’m not entirely against living in sin, if that’s the only option I have, to be with the man I love, but you made it quite clear, more than once, you weren’t interested in enjoying any relationship with me other than a platonic one. But I... I always believed you’d desire me, and ask me to be your wife one day, if I kept loving you. Though you desired me last night. Maybe you still desire me now. That revelation made me see I really don’t mean all that much to you. So, as much as it hurts me, I have to leave. I can’t live with you anymore. I should have left a long time ago, but I was alone and I was afraid. And I honestly believed if we loved each other, I could fix the problems I’ve contributed to over the years, and help—”
“So you’re going to live at the bus depot?” he asked. “Don’t you think you’re making this whole thing a bit more dramatic than it has to be?” He looked at the suitcases again as he ate. “You can still live here until you have a place to stay.”
She put down her silverware, not touching her food. “I do have a place to stay. I thought it would only be temporary, but I’m now on my way to knowing the change—for worse or, I’m hoping, for better—will be permanent. Not the location, necessarily, but the company. And,” she added as she reached her hand over and then withdrew it. “I wanted you to know I’m thankful to you. If I hadn’t stayed with you for all these years, I wouldn’t have been in this place, at the right time, to meet my future husband. Again. The man with whom I’m praying I will share the rest of my days. I owe you thanks for that. I truly do. You have my thanks. I mean that. I will always be indebted to you for that.”
“Who is it?” He slammed his plate on the table. “Who the hell is it you, all of a sudden, can’t live without?” She looked back at him, shaking. Not out of fear, but out of a slight sense of guilt. “I want to know.”
“Please relax.” She began to move from her seat. “Your anger is unwarranted. Unjustified. This is becoming contentious. That wasn’t my intention. I only wanted to be direct with you. I thought you deserved that.”
“You’ll still be...” He looked at the ceiling and then back at the floor. “Providing?”
She looked into his eyes, her face becoming more liquid. Her lips rippling like a disturbed pool. “No, Brent. I’m aware that’s the reason you kept me here, and took care of me. Saw to my needs. But, if I’m to be living
with another man, I cannot continue to provide. I’m not a cannibal. Not like you and our friends. Not like everyone else in this town. I’m just different. In ways you wouldn’t understand and never cared to. So I fit in. But I don’t want to do that anymore. I’ve found a man who not only loves me for who I am, and to whom I was beautiful before he thought to judge my face or my body, but who also doesn’t share this community’s sick desire for the flesh. At least, not in that sense.” She blushed.
“But...” He started to get shaky and nervous. “We need that food. To keep us going. To keep us alive. Vital.”
“As I believe I heard you mention once,” she said. “If someone wasn’t out there slaughtering the cows for you, you’d quit eating the burgers, yes?” He nodded, confused. “Then, perhaps you can go back to eating the meat they provide at the grocery store. You don’t need the provision. You’ve just grown used to it.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He shovelled the rest of his sausage down his throat. “A lot of people are going to be very upset if you back out of your arrangement like this.”
“I wasn’t aware there was any formal arrangement.” She looked to the side. “I thought there was just an understanding between us. Perhaps you made an arrangement with others on my behalf. If that’s the case, then you’ll have explaining to do. I, and my gifts, were never yours to barter or bargain with. Especially not since I’ve never been more than a house guest to you. If you promised my services to anyone, then you’ll have to begin providing them yourself. Or you could, as I suggested, go back to eating regular meat. Or, not being one for the slaughter, become a vegetarian.”
Brent threw the table to the side, smashing it into the refrigerator and pulling Cadence to her feet by the shoulders. Squeezing her with all his might and shouting. “I said you don’t understand, you stupid little bitch. We need the provision. It keeps us strong. It keeps us young. It keeps us vital. If you refuse to provide, we’ll have to turn to your friend, Davey. And, if he won’t provide, then maybe you’ll both be the next provision.”
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