“Not yet, but the midwife who visited earlier said the doctor should clear me to go shortly. We’ll just have to wait a little longer.”
Emily stirred, and I looked back over at her. My sweet little girl.
WHEN PETRA TOLD me her baby wasn’t mine, any hope I’d had of having a family had disappeared with it. Ella was pregnant, but at that stage I thought she’d moved on with Matt as soon as I’d left. I’d had my head so far up my arse it had never occurred to me that the baby might be mine.
It had taken time and for me to take a step back from the situation to see the truth of the matter. I thought I’d left happiness and love behind.
Now it was all around me. Natasha sat on the couch, cradling our daughter in her arms. Paige sat beside her, taking in every detail and asking when she’d be able to play with the baby.
Our little house was full of love, and nothing would ever change that.
I’d spend the rest of my life protecting and loving what was mine. Once I had a chance at all of this, and I blew it. No way would I ever make that mistake again.
I had so many past regrets, but going forward there were only good things.
Wonderful things.
EPILOGUE
In the End
Chapter 26
SAM
Two years later
Paige’s eyes grew wide. “They’re here.” She pushed herself off the couch and raced to the front door.
“Think she’s excited?” I laughed.
“I think she’s going to have so much fun this weekend.” Natasha sat on the couch, our one-week-old baby, Zoe, at her breast.
I stroked Zoe’s head and bent to kiss Natasha. “She will.”
“I think you’re pretty excited too.”
It had taken a while, juggling spending time with Finn with starting a new family with Natasha, Paige, Emily, and now Zoe. This weekend, Finn was staying with us for the first time, and my stomach twisted at the thought of having him here with me, even just for a little while. “I’m beyond excited.”
She grabbed my hand. “It’ll be fine. You know that, right?”
“All the same, I’m glad Ella and Matt are staying in Auckland for the weekend. At least they’ll be on call if Finn freaks out.”
Tash gave me that reassuring smile of hers. There was such a confidence about her now, one that Dean had tried to beat out of her. Now it shone from her every pore, leaving me smiling in its wake.
I fell more in love with her every day. She’d given me everything I’d ever wanted—love, happiness, and family.
With the birth of Zoe, our family was complete. All we’d been missing was Finn, and today was the start of something new when it came to him.
“Hi.” Ella spoke at the door as Finn ran past her and into my arms. I held him tight, kissing the top of his head. Our gradual process of getting to know each other had paid off big time, and we were closer than ever.
Georgia followed, and then Zach, and we ended up in one big hug.
“Hey.” I smiled at Ella.
“You’re popular.” She laughed. Matt appeared in the doorway behind her, and I chin-lifted.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“Come inside and take a seat.”
Ella gasped at the sight of Natasha on the couch with Zoe, clapping as she made her way around it and sat down. “Oh, look at you. You’re beautiful.”
Matt grinned. “She’s been so excited about this trip. Couldn’t wait to meet the baby.”
“It’s good to see you all.” I held Finn back a little. “Especially this guy. I’ve been waiting a long time for you to come and stay with me.”
Finn grinned.
“It should be a good weekend. We’re just gonna stay at Vanessa’s and catch up with her while you guys do whatever you’re going to do,” Matt said.
“Good idea.”
Paige tugged on my arm. “Can we go out the back and play?”
“Sure you can.”
In an instant, all four children were out the back door and into the yard.
I grabbed Matt’s arm, pulling him in the door. “Come and see my girls.”
Emily sat on the floor playing in front of the couch.
“She’s so precious.” Ella grinned as Natasha handed her the baby. “Sam, she looks so much like Finn did.”
Watching Ella with Zoe was magical. There had been a time when I’d dreamed of her holding our child, and although my romantic feelings for her had changed, seeing her with my daughter was sweet.
“I kept telling him she looks a lot like her father. He says she looks like me.” Natasha’s reassuring smile told me she could see right through me, knew what I was thinking.
“I bet she ends up a clone of Paige and Emily. But I think she has Sam’s eyes.” Ella brought Zoe up to her face, breathing in her baby smell.
“Clucky?” Natasha teased.
“A little. I think we have enough though. I’ll just live vicariously through you. Are you two going to have any more?” Ella laughed.
“That’s up for debate now.” I grinned.
Matt slapped me on the shoulder. “Congratulations. Look at you, all grown up and stuff.”
I laughed. “Come and see Finn’s room. It might look a bit familiar.”
His eyebrows crept up and a smile crossed his face. “Go on.”
I led him up the hallway, stopping at the room I’d decorated. Matt chuckled as he entered. “You did a great job on this. It looks like his room back home.”
“It was important to me that he be comfortable here. I didn’t want this to feel strange.”
Matt nodded. “I get that. He’ll be fine. I think it’s done him good that we waited. He has my old mobile in case he wants to talk to Ella before he goes to bed.”
“Or his other dad.”
He sighed. “Yeah, his other dad. We did a good job with him, Sam. He knows we all love him.”
“I couldn’t have found a better man to be there for him.”
“And now you have another child of your own. That must feel good. After everything.”
I exhaled loudly. “Sure does. Have to admit, I was terrified when Tash wanted another baby. Even though we had Emily, it scared me. But we got there and it seems like so long ago that there was ever an issue in my life with that. I guess what was supposed to happen did. I know you and I ended up with the right people.”
“If only you’d paid attention when I told you that first night to make sure she didn’t leave.”
I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“That first night. I saw her at our party before I had to take the sick girl home. If you’d listened, maybe you’d have kept your hands off, and maybe I would have got Ella first.”
I shook my head. “There’s not a lot I remember about that night apart from ending up with Ella. How different would our lives have been?”
My thoughts on that were interrupted by Finn arriving at the door. His eyes were like saucers. “Wow. This looks just like my room at home.”
“It sure is. Even down to the Pokémon duvet cover.”
“It’s so cool.” He walked to the bed and sat down, still looking around the room.
“So when you’re here, this is yours. I had the extension on the house built so that there’s always a room for you here.”
Matt’s eyebrows crept up and I shrugged. “We needed more space for the girls anyway, so this room is smaller than it used to be, but it’s Finn’s.”
It warmed my heart to see my boy with such a big smile on his face.
ELLA STOOD IN THE KITCHEN, looking out the window at the backyard where the children played. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through. She had been the one with Finn from birth, holding him when he cried, keeping him safe from harm. Letting him go even a little would be hard, and I couldn’t fault her for the depth of her feelings. She always took everything to heart.
“Hey. You okay?” I approached from the doorway, and she looked up at me with a small smile.
As I drew closer, I took her hands in mine. “I swear I’ll take good care of him. For all we went through, I’d do it again if it meant we ended up with Finn.”
She smiled. “I would too. You’re a good dad. Finn loves you, and I’m glad he’s been able to get to know you.”
“For what it’s worth, I love being a dad. Emily and Zoe are just amazing, and I … well, I’m adopting Paige.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh, Sam, that’s wonderful.”
“She might as well be my own flesh and blood—I love her so much. Now she’ll be mine alongside her brother and sisters. I should have done it after her dad died.”
Ella welled up. She’d always been such a softy. Some things would never change. “I’m so glad you found what you needed.”
“I’m so glad you and Matt are happy. You both deserve it.”
Her lips spread into a big grin. “We are happy. I guess everything just sorted itself out in the end.”
“Am I interrupting something?” Matt walked toward us, three bottles of beer in his hand. I let go of Ella to take one, and she took the other, raising hers in a toast. We all clinked our bottles together.
“I don’t think we’ve really done this since our days in the flat,” Matt said.
“Remember how you two would sit and watch Thunderbirds? I should have known there was something up then. I can’t think of any other reason to watch it.” I laughed as Matt punched my arm.
“Sam was just telling me some wonderful news,” Ella said.
“What’s that?”
She nodded toward me as if to say it was my news and up to me to share.
“I’m adopting Paige.”
Matt grinned. “That’s awesome.” He clinked his bottle with mine again. “She’s a great kid. You’re a great dad. Ella, did you see Finn’s room?”
She shook her head.
“Sam made it as close to his room at home as he could.”
Ella gaped. “No way.”
“Go and have a look. Finn loves it.”
She disappeared up the hallway, and I grinned at Matt. “How’s her new business going?
Matt nodded slowly. “She’s … uh … earned more than I have so far this year.”
“Seriously?”
“It’s actually pretty good. We’ve kind of had a bit of role reversal, where I get to spend more time with the kids. I do the school run most days, and make school lunches. It’s been so good for Ella, and we’re both still working at a pace we enjoy.” He smiled. “Plus, we don’t have to leave the farm to do it all, so our life isn’t disrupted.”
“That’s awesome. I’m really pleased for you.”
He turned his head toward the hallway. Matt would be going through the same bittersweet emotions at letting Finn stay here that Ella was. Maybe not in the same way, but he felt just as much as she did.
“I’ll take good care of him, Matt.”
He turned back. “I know you will. It’ll be weird, but I’ll keep her busy.”
“Thanks for everything.”
Ella appeared in the doorway. “Sam, it’s amazing.”
“I just want him to have the best of everything. That’s what you guys have done, and I’ll keep it up at my end.”
She slid her hand into Matt’s. “I can see that.”
“We should get going.” Matt nudged Ella’s elbow.
She nodded. I knew that face, the strained expression that told me she was struggling to leave Finn here. I’d have been the same. Maybe a gentle nudge would reassure her and help her let go.
“Have a good weekend you guys, and we’ll see you on Sunday.”
Ella’s smile warmed, and she took the few steps toward me, grasping my arms.
“Take good care of our boy,” she breathed into my ear. In another time, another place, I would have got off on just the way she said it. Now we were friends, and I was crazy in love with someone else.
“I will.” I kissed her on the cheek. “Always.”
“I know.” She let go, and I saw the sense of loss in her eyes. Ella would never be able to play poker.
“He knows where he belongs, and as much as I’d like that to be with me, I’ll never replace you and Matt. Don’t ever feel like I’m trying.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“I know where you are and how to get hold of you if we need anything, and I promise we’ll call if we do.”
Her letting go of a big breath was audible, and I nodded back at her. “I’ve got this.” I leaned out the back door. “Finn?”
Ella licked her lips. “I know.”
Finn appeared in the door, followed by the other kids. “Yep?”
“We’re going to Auntie Vanessa’s now,” Ella said.
A hint of fear was in his eyes, but he steadied himself and headed straight into his mother’s arms. She held him tight, kissing the top of his head. “Be good for Sam, and we’ll come and get you on Sunday.”
“Don’t forget that phone’s in your bag, bud. Call us if you need to,” Matt said, slipping his arm around Ella’s shoulders. He held up a fist and Finn bumped it with his.
Ella cupped his face. “Love you.” Pecking him on the cheek, she stood back as Finn gave Matt a hug.
“Bye, Dad.” He took a step back and gave them a little wave.
Finn stood next to me as Ella and Matt took one last look and led Georgia and Zach toward the car. For a moment, I thought about following them out, but maybe it was best if Finn didn’t have to say goodbye all over again.
The front door closed, and I turned to Finn. “Are you ready to have some fun?”
He grinned, the dimples in his cheeks that were Ella through and through lighting up. “Yep. My room is so cool.”
“I wanted you to be at home here. Don’t be shy about telling me if you need anything. We thought we might have some fish and chips for dinner and watch a movie tonight.”
Finn nodded. “Can I stay up late?”
“You can stay up until the end of the movie. How about that?” I grinned.
He rolled his eyes. “Mum never lets me stay up late. Dad sometimes puts a movie on my computer so I can watch in bed, and Mum doesn’t know.”
“Oh, does he now? Sneaky Dad.” I laughed. For a long time, I’d been jealous of Matt being in the position I should have been in, would have been in if I hadn’t screwed up so badly.
It still stung, but now my life and family were complete. Natasha and I weren’t planning any more babies. I had an interview lined up for a job in Whangarei which would move us closer to Ella and Matt, and we’d find a bigger house up there. It would be cheaper for us to live there than in Auckland as well, a factor to consider now that we were down to one income. Natasha had gone back to work after Emily was born, but it was much more difficult with three little ones.
We were looking for a place with a granny flat too. Natasha’s mum had been left by herself the year before when her husband had died.
We all had a lot to look forward to.
DINNER AND A MOVIE. I sat on the couch with my arm around my girl, the kids all sitting on the floor to check out Cars. There’d been a debate over the movie with Paige wanting to watch Frozen for about the millionth time, but I’d managed to convince her that we could watch that on Sunday when Finn had gone home. I suspected he didn’t want to watch it as Georgia was also a fan.
“Are you happy?” Natasha asked.
I nuzzled her neck. “Very.”
“Don’t get too overexcited.” She laughed.
I kissed her. “Don’t remind me. I might have to become intimate with my hand again for a while.”
She clapped her fingers over her mouth and shook her head.
“Sorry.” I chuckled.
“I love you and your way of coming out with the craziest things.”
“Matt always said I was the crude one.”
She nodded. “And yet, I still love you, for some reason.”
“It’s the good looks and winning personality, isn’t it?”
I leaned over to get closer to the children. “Must be bedtime after this for you three,” I said.
No response. I smiled to myself. This was what it was like to have my entire family under one roof. Now I knew, I wanted more of it. Finn would still set his own pace, but hopefully that meant more weekends like this. We didn’t have to be doing anything—we just needed to be together.
When the movie was over, I planted a kiss on Natasha’s neck before standing. “Come on, kids. Pyjamas and bed.”
Emily stood and clapped. “Daddy.” She threw herself at me, and I scooped her into my arms.
I planted a kiss on Emily’s nose and she giggled. “I’ll sort you out. You two need to get changed, and we’ll all meet in the bathroom.”
Finn and Paige scattered to their respective rooms, and I smiled down at Natasha, rolling out my best Arnie voice. “I’ll be back.”
She rolled her eyes and laughed. “Emmy, give mummy a kiss?”
I bent, and Emily giggled as I dropped her to Natasha’s level. After a quick kiss, she squealed when I swung her back up.
“Come on, let’s get you into bed, and then I’ll tuck Mummy in as well. I think she’s tired too.”
Natasha’s eyes were filled with so much love. The next few weeks would be very long.
I carried Emily through to her room and placed her on the bed, pulling her pyjamas out of the nearby drawers. “There’s my good girl. We’re going to the zoo tomorrow. Want to see all the animals?”
She nodded. I pulled her T-shirt over her head and slipped on her pyjama top. After I changed her nappy and put her pyjama pants on, we went to the bathroom. Finn and Paige were already in there.
“I’ve got more than you.” His toothbrush was covered in toothpaste.
“No, I do.” Paige’s was just as bad. I swore between them they must have used half a tube.
“Good grief, you two. That’s just naughty. Clean it up and do it properly.” I tried my best to sound angry, but part of me was dying of laughter inside.
“Sorry, Daddy.” Paige held her toothbrush under the water until it was clean, Finn following suit.
I put Emily down while I grabbed her brush from the holder and put a tiny bit of paste on it. She grinned as I held it to her mouth and scrubbed as the others started cleaning. Soon, I had three children with bright, sparkly teeth.
In the End (Lifetime #3) Page 22
