by Abby Niles
As it stood he had fought against his nature to hide this from her, and she wanted to know why. Maybe his reasoning would help her figure out where the hell they went from here.
Because it sure wouldn’t be straight to the bedroom to start the ritual.
Chapter Ten
Damn it!
Britton again turned his back on Val and the way she was gaping at him. Val was never speechless. So she’d taken finding out she was his mate about as well as he’d expected—horribly.
Why had he run his fucking mouth?
He shouldn’t have come back, should’ve waited until morning to return, as he’d planned to, but the clawing need to see her had driven him mad and made him pace his cabin like a caged animal. Next thing he knew he was behind the wheel of her car, driving like an insane person to her. He’d schemed this elaborate plot to push Val away, to keep her safe, and he’d just blown it all to bits by saying the one thing she was never supposed to know.
But pulling up in front of the cabin and finding Miles’s car parked there had been the last thing he’d expected. Britton had known the doctor was interested in Val, had picked up on the other man’s attraction when the doctor had examined her after her tumble. Britton hadn’t liked it then, and that was before the Drall had been awakened.
Now?
Instant rage had exploded when he’d shoved through the door to see her holding towels to her chest, with her legs, arms, and shoulders bare. Naked. Red had filled his vision as his beast roared in fury. Then he’d lost control of himself…and his damn tongue.
Fuck.
Her hand latched onto his forearm and squeezed. “Britton, look at me.”
He couldn’t. Instead he pinned the other man, who was zipping up the fly of his pants, with a murderous scowl. Another surge of rage crashed over him and he clenched his fist, his lips peeling off his gritted teeth as he bit out, “Hurry the fuck up and get the hell out.”
Miles didn’t bother putting on his shirt. Just lifted his palms and backed out of the cabin.
Smart man.
Silence enveloped Britton and Val. Cutting visions of what had possibly happened before he’d barged in tormented him. Val in Miles’s arms, her lips parted on a sigh of pleasure. Miles over her, under her, in her.
Britton shuddered. Pain lanced his chest to the point he had to massage it as he tried to breathe around the agony. If she’d slept with the other man, only Britton was to blame. He’d made her believe, had wanted her to believe, he was doing the same with Olivia. Accepting that didn’t lesson the anguish.
“Did you sleep with him?” he whispered, his shoulders tensing as he waited for her response. He didn’t have the right to ask, but he had to know if another man had touched her.
“I’d planned to.”
Meaning if Britton hadn’t shown up when he had, she would have.
Swallowing against the tightness that suddenly constricted his throat, he tried to form words. But what did he have the right to say? He’d stormed in here, interrupted her date like a jealous mate, and declared her to be his. And…it changed nothing.
It was still an impossible situation. One he would not subject her to.
As she moved behind him, he could feel her gaze drilling holes into his back. “Right before you barged in, I realized I couldn’t go through with it. I was about to ask him to leave.”
Surprise—and relief—flickered through him and he spun around. “Why?”
Her expression curious, she wrapped her arms around her middle. “Where were you tonight?”
He could lie. Salvage his plan. Make her hate him. But he couldn’t. Not anymore. Not with her knowing the truth about the Drall. Besides, she’d never buy it now. “I went for a run, took a shower, changed clothes, and hung around home…alone.”
For a long moment she studied him, and he desperately wanted to know what she was thinking. She knew their world. Knew how the Drall worked and what it meant for him. For them. How did she feel about finding out she was his destined mate?
“Why didn’t you tell me about the Drall?” she finally asked.
It was on the tip of his tongue to share his theory about what the serum did to his instinct, but it was just that…a theory. The facts were bad enough, and should be plenty to convince her he wasn’t right for her.
“Because I’m not good enough for you.” He wanted to touch her, crush her to him, but he kept his hands at his sides. “You deserve better than me.”
A crinkle formed between her brows. “Why on earth do you think that?”
“I can’t…give you what I’m supposed to as a shifter mate. Because I won’t be a shifter.”
She was silent a moment, her expression giving nothing away as she searched his face. Did she agree with him? Was she trying to find a tactful way to tell him that the idea of being his mate was laughable?
He wouldn’t blame her. He’d thought the same thing up until the moment her soft lips had pressed against his. Then he’d learned the truth…felt the truth.
Finally her eyes locked with his, and resolve swam in their depths. “I was going to tell Miles to leave, because somehow—and I still haven’t figured out how the hell it happened—I’ve started to develop feelings for you.”
Every muscle in his body froze as her words ricocheted around his head. Surely he hadn’t heard her correctly. But as her statement sank in and spread, warmth enveloped him, squeezed him. “You have feelings for me? Not the want-to-kill-me kind?”
The corner of her lips kicked up. “Oh, no. I’ve still got that one, and a raging case of jealousy. And so much desire that I want you every way I can have you.” She stepped closer to him, her eyes burning with an emotion he couldn’t identify. “But I also can’t get you off my mind. You stick with me even when you’re not here. I find myself thinking about your cocky smirk at the most inconvenient times. So, yeah, even though it’s definitely not the smartest thing I’ve ever done, I’ve got feelings for your sorry ass.”
At the very typical Val response, a crooked smile came to his mouth. Her confession enveloped him in warmth.
But it changed nothing.
As the reminder slammed into him, his smile faded. He took her hand and led her to the couch, where he pushed her to sit. He looked down at her, hands on his hips. How did he say this?
Best to just get it out. “Val. We can’t be together.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Okay… Why not?”
Her reaction flustered him. No flinching or hesitation, she just studied him with objective curiosity. Shouldn’t she be more upset? Demanding? Profoundly relieved? “Rather calm, aren’t you?”
A slight shrug lifted her shoulders. “You went to great lengths to hide the Drall from me. There’s a reason. I want to know what it is.”
“Always the detective, huh?” he said, shaking his head.
“What can I say? It’s ingrained.” She grasped his hand and tugged, then let it go. He sat beside her, staring at his feet.
“So what is your reasoning, Britton?” she asked. “If I’m your mate, and I’m starting to have feelings for you—which seem to be returned—why can’t we be together?”
“Because once this case is over, I’ll be a human again.”
Her nose scrunched in confusion. “Right. I still don’t see the problem.”
“Val, think about it…from every angle.”
“Is it the eternity thing?” Her eyes burned into his, and then they widened. “It is, isn’t it? Oh Britton, I know it’s different for you because you’re a shifter, and you have an instinct to mate that I don’t have, but I don’t need all that bonding stuff.”
“It doesn’t bother you that I can’t give you everything you’re entitled to?”
“No. Besides, you’re not living a lifetime sentence. In sixteen years, you’ll be a shifter again. If we want, we can bond then.”
Britton studied the hardwood floor. She hadn’t figured out, or at the very least, hadn’t accepted, that she loved h
im. If she had, there wouldn’t have been an “if we want” tacked to the front of that sentence. That was why this was such an easy conversation for her—she really didn’t grasp what she was giving up.
As his true mate, she would no doubt one day love him completely, and would want the eternity she was being so nonchalant about now. She’d long for the security of knowing they could never be parted. Before she fell in love with him, before she realized what she was losing, he had to convince her he wasn’t good enough for her. Because sixteen years was a hell of a long time. Anything could happen…
“If either of us dies before the end of my sentence… You know what that means, Val. If we are not fewsed to each other, it ends there. There won’t be a tether to bring us together in Anavrin. We’ll be separated forever.”
She bit her bottom lip. At least that got her to stop and think. They both saw firsthand every day how instantly life could end.
“And children?” he added, knowing he was bombarding her with things she wasn’t ready to think about. But she still needed to hear them. “We couldn’t have children. Neither of us knows what the serum would do to our offspring.”
“All right,” she said. “I get why you tried to hide this from me. But there is one very important factor you aren’t taking into consideration.”
“Which is?”
“What if the High Council gives you a full pardon?”
“Val,” he groaned, pushing to his feet. “That’s not going to happen.”
“Why not? I think it’s just as possible an outcome as the ones you’re tossing out at me. I’m not doing much of anything on this case. You’re doing all the work. You should be rewarded.”
“If you’ll notice, neither one of us is doing much of anything right now.” Turning his back on her, he put his hands on his hips and hung his head. As his mate, he owed her the entire truth. “There’s more.” And it was the real deal-breaker.
“Okay,” she said slowly.
He faced her. “I think the serum is what makes me hate you.”
The expression she gave him said he needed to be put in a straitjacket and carried to the nuthouse. She opened her mouth, closed it, and said, “Uh…that’s a pretty crazy idea, Britton.”
“Yeah, I would have thought so too, until my Drall was awakened. But think about it. Before the council gave me temporary clemency, I couldn’t stand to be around you.” When she started to open her mouth, he held up his hand to stop her. “It wasn’t just emotional. It was also physical. My need to get away from you was just as strong as my need to mark you after you kissed me last night.”
Concern tightened her face as she caught her bottom lip between teeth, thinking. “It can’t be linked, Britton. The serum is only supposed to make you human. There is no instinct involved, one way or the other.” But uncertainty clouded her tone.
“Then explain it,” he pressed. “Why did it go away as soon as my beast returned? What if I’m right?”
“What if you’re wrong?” She pushed to her feet and came to stand in front of him, taking his face between her hands. “Let’s not do this right now, okay? I have enough hope for the both of us that the High Council will acknowledge everything you’ve done, and all of this worrying will be for nothing. Let’s focus on hope, please. We’ll worry together when we have something to worry about.”
The truth behind her words reached deep inside him and he wanted to latch onto this hope she kept referring to. She really believed the High Council would free him. Was it possible that maybe he could still have it all? “You’re amazing, you know that?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty awesome. Remember that.”
He chuckled. “So, does this mean you’re, like, my girlfriend or something?”
“Oh, the girls at work are going to be green with envy when they hear that one. Too bad Raquel isn’t going to win that bet. She really wanted that clutch.”
“What bet?”
“On when we’d fall into bed in a fit of lust.”
“Are you serious?” Laughing, he lowered his forehead to hers. “So what you’re saying is everyone else knew we’d wind up together but us?”
“Dea. Who’d have believed it?” she whispered.
He cupped her cheek, then slid his hand to the back of her nape, tugging her forward.
When he slanted his mouth across hers, she melted against him, her palms sliding over his shoulders. He scooped his other arm under her knees and lifted her, then sat on the couch with her on his lap, never taking his lips from hers as he caressed the tip of her tongue with his. The sweet mewl that sighed out of her mouth caused his beast to growl. Desire built within him, and he deepened the kiss, holding her closer.
The clawing need hit like a bolt of lightning, shocking him. The urge was overwhelming.
Take.
Ripping his mouth from her, he shot to his feet, tossing her on the couch and away from him.
She gaped at him. “What the hell, Britton?”
He paced the room, grabbing a handful of his hair as he shoved his fingers through the strands, trying to breathe through the urgent, all-enveloping need to claim her. “I’m not human right now, Val,” he gritted out.
There was a moment of silence before she grimaced. “The instinct?”
“Yeah, the instinct. I almost marked you last night. It took everything in me not to. We don’t know what’s going to happen. If there is even the smallest chance the serum did cause all those vile feelings, and I might be given it again, you will not have my mark on you. I’m scared to death of what would happen to you if you wore the mark of a shifter who was no longer a shifter. I won’t risk your life.”
She had the kindness to not argue. Neither of them knew what would happen if he bonded to her and the High Council reinstated his sentence.
“So what do we do?” she asked.
“Solve this fucking case, so you and I can start a future.”
Then he slammed into the bathroom to take a very long, very cold shower. It wasn’t until later he realized that he’d used the word future without thinking.
Dea. Val really had given him hope.
…
The next morning, Val stood beside the couch, watching Britton sleep. After he’d taken a shower last night, he’d stormed into the living room and demanded she lock herself in the bedroom. She’d started to argue, but then saw how freaked out he was, so she’d relented, not wanting to cause him more distress. But that hadn’t stopped her frustration when he’d refused to kiss her good-night in fear of provoking the Drall.
Britton was hers.
She wanted to kiss him, touch him, lie next to him. Whenever she felt like it. Which might not be for as long as she hoped.
As much as she’d stood strong for him yesterday, encouraging him to hold on to hope, his horrible theory about his earlier hatred had terrified her to the core. And made her realize just how much he really meant to her. The mere thought of his handsome face twisting into the hateful sneer he’d directed at her so many times in the past caused excruciating pain to stab through her heart. To actually relive it…Dea. It would be pure hell.
He was wrong. He had to be. Heck, she’d hadn’t been able to stand him, either, and she didn’t have a Drall. That had to mean something. Right?
Stop it.
The High Council would do right by him—if Britton was given the chance see this case out. If the council didn’t cave to the kidnapper’s demands.
The kidnappers’ deadline was this afternoon. It would all end today. One way or the other.
With each passing second, the time ticked closer to four. And she sure as hell didn’t want to spend that time pacing the cabin, waiting. She wanted to spend it lost in Britton. With Britton.
But how to convince him? He wouldn’t be on board. Unless…
She went to the table and fingered the steel handcuffs she used to arrest shifters. He was terrified of marking her. What if she took away his ability to do so? If he was restrained, he wouldn’t be able t
o control their lovemaking. She would.
She’d heard enough about the bonding ritual to know that for Britton to mark her, he must orgasm inside her before she found her own release. After that, the ritual could begin. He’d done that the night before, and the fact that he hadn’t bonded to her spoke of his strength of will. Not many shifters could get that close to fewsing to their mate and stop.
But he was refusing even to touch her now. So, if she secured him…
She quickly shed her PJ bottoms and panties, lifted one of his wrists, and snapped a cuff into place. His eyes popped open. Before he had time to register what she was doing, she snapped the other on his left wrist.
“What the hell are you doing?”
She hiked up her pajama top, tossed it aside, and straddled his hips. “I want you. Now.”
He looked incredulously at his wrists. “You think these will stop me?”
To prove his point, he shot up into a sitting position, his arms looping around her head. He shimmied them down her waist and yanked her to his chest as he lay back against the cushions again. “If I want to mark you, this won’t stop me, Val,” he whispered in her ear. “And I want to mark you.”
Delight shivered through her. “And I want your cock inside me. My mouth on you. I can’t wait.”
A guttural groan erupted from his lips. “You’re fucking killing me, woman.”
Sensing victory, she gave him a saucy smile. “Is that a yes?”
He was silent for a moment. “Not like this. I’m not secure. I need to be on total lockdown.”
Propping her elbow on his chest, she rested her chin on her palm. “Any ideas?”
Without a word, he tightened his arms around her, swung his feet to the floor, and stood.
She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, anticipation flooding through her, causing the area between her legs to come alive, virtually buzzing with excitement.
He carried her to the bedroom and let her down at the edge of the bed. “Now uncuff me.”
