by Holly Hart
Is it a date? I wonder.
And if it is, can I do anything about it?
I don’t know how long I stand there, with boiling hot water turning my pale, freckled skin a curious shade of pink. The cramped shower billows with a fog of steam – so much steam that I struggle to breathe. The mirror attached to the shower’s tiled wall quickly fills with condensation, until even my outline disappears into nothingness.
I like it, though, disappearing into the hot mist. It’s calming. It’s like I’m not even real, as if I was never here.
And for a few seconds, at least, it helps me forget my nerves about my dinner – my date – with Harlan freaking Wolfe.
But I don’t lose myself for long. I never can. I guess my mind just isn’t wired like that. I don’t like to stand around doing nothing. I like to act – to be in control. A second savored is a second wasted – or at least it is to me.
I glance down my legs. I don’t know what I’m going to wear tonight, but whatever I choose, I probably can’t turn up with my legs looking like they do right now. I look like a shaggy brown bear.
I shut off the flow of hot water and grab my razor.
There’s easily enough steam to stop me from being attacked by the biting cold kiss of the AC. I lather up my legs and carve clean, hairless pathways through the snowy fields of suds.
“God, Skye. It’s been way too long since you’ve done this,” I mutter to myself. I carefully ignore the reason – it’s not like I’ve had a reason to play dress-up, if you know what I mean.
When I’m done, I run the backs of my knuckles along the freshly-shaved skin. An image of Harlan touching me there flashes through my mind.
I flinch.
It has been a long time since I’ve thought of a man touching me like that – or anywhere, in fact.
“Don’t do it, Skye,” I groan. But even as the words escape my mouth, I know that the seed of the idea has burrowed too deep.
I’m going to do it.
“You’re such a pussy,” I mutter ironically. “And for God’s sake, girl – stop talking to yourself!”
Clinically speaking, there’s nothing exactly wrong with speaking to one’s self, as long as it doesn’t happen all the time, anyway. My therapist’s brain tells me that it’s a perfectly rational response to a bout of nerves.
And I’ve certainly got one heck of a reason to be nervous…
As if I’m being operated by remote control, I watch my arm reach out for the shaving cream. I see my fingers lather the tuft – thicket, really – of burning ginger hair between my legs. If it’s been a long time since I shaved my legs, then I can’t even remember the last time I shaved my pubic hair…
So don’t…
But for some reason I can’t stop myself.
It’s almost as if by trimming myself like this that I’m playing into a fantasy – a fantasy that I thought I had given up on a long time ago. A time existed when I played in the dating game like every other girl. I giggled with my girlfriends as we got asked out, one by one.
I batted my eyelashes at guys in fancy bars.
I had boyfriends, more than one.
I tried every damn fetish and every damn kink, but none of them worked. Ten years, and I never came once. It took a decade without ever having an orgasm for me to realize the truth.
I’m … broken.
So I gave up on men. I gave up on sex. After all – what’s the point? When they can’t make you come, all men act the same. It punctures their ego. They treat it as an insult – like they are the one who’s suffering!
Harlan will be the same… if he even wants that from me. What makes you think he’s so interested in you, anyway?
The steam starts to subside. I inspect my freshly shaved legs, and my freshly shaved pussy. It has been years – literally – since I last saw the skin underneath my pubic hair. I feel practically embarrassed just looking at myself – as though I’m trying to play a role that isn’t me.
Who are you trying to impress? You know none of this will work, don’t you?
My reflection appears once again as the condensation drips off the mirror in the shower. I scowl at myself. For some reason, the sight sours my mood.
“There –,” I grunt. “Happy now?”
My reflection doesn’t reply. That’s probably a good thing. I’d have to cart myself off to a mental hospital if she had…
The doorbell rings.
I have a brief moment of panic as I try to figure out what to do. Do I try and throw on some sweatpants and run to the door – but risk missing the delivery, or instead just open it in my towel.
I decide to go with the second option.
It’s not exactly ladylike, but I guess sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. I grab a towel, throw it onto my dripping shoulders and sprint for the door.
The doorbell rings again. It sounds irritated this time, though I know that’s just in my head.
“Delivery,” a man calls out in a gruff voice. He raps the front door with his knuckles, and calls out again.
“All right, all right,” I mutter underneath my breath. “I’m coming…”
You wish.
I look through the peephole. The delivery guy isn’t exactly what I expected. He’s wearing a crisply tailored, dark navy suit, and carrying a small, rectangular black box. He looks more like a luxury chauffeur than a guy from FedEx. It doesn’t take an expert to figure out who sent him.
My forehead furrows. What the hell is this? But I’ve got to admit, my curiosity is piqued.
“Just leave it out there,” I call.
“Yes ma’am.”
I watch, clutching my towel to my damn body as the smartly-dressed courier crouches and places the box on the ground. He stands up, glances down at it, then up at me – or at least, where the peephole is. He chews his lip with indecision.
“It is fine,” I call out. “I’ll get it when you’re gone. I’m in a towel…”
The driver blanches visibly. His face drains of blood as he processes what I just said. I squint as I wonder what’s going through his mind.
“Yes ma’am,” he stammers. “I’m not – I wasn’t.” He shut his eyes, takes a breath and says. “I’ll be going, now.”
He practically runs back the way he came.
The corners of my mouth curl up with amusement. Does he think that Harlan and I are dating – and that I might think he wants to peep on me? As if someone like me would ever end up dating someone like Harlan Wolfe…
An irritating voice pipes up from a dark corner of my mind. It’s irritating because I know it is right.
If you don’t think there’s a chance of something happening tonight, it says. Then why did you shave down there.
I wait a couple more seconds until I’m sure the delivery driver’s absolutely gone, then I open the door. I peek around the door jamb, check left, then right, and reach out to grab the box left on my doorstep.
Even the cardboard feels luxurious. Whatever is inside, I already know is going to be expensive. The thought should excite me, but instead it sends a tremor running through my stomach.
I sit down on my couch and lay the box on my knees. I chew my lip as I try and figure out what to do with it.
“You’re getting yourself into trouble,” I mutter. “You shouldn’t be hanging around with a guy like Harlan. You’re playing checkers while he’s playing chess…”
Then again, what else can I do?
As long as I work for Wolfe Capital – at my dream job, no less – then I kind of have to do whatever the boss tells me to do. Unfortunately for me, Harlan Wolfe is definitely the boss.
So, there it is. I’m definitely not giving up my dream job. Not after I’ve worked so hard to get it. I was the youngest woman in a decade to get a psychiatry degree from Stanford University. I deal with testosterone-charged, misogynistic, asshole traders every single day.
I’m sure I can deal with one fancy dinner.
Or are those your famous
last words, says a low voice mutters in the back of my brain.
I run my fingernails underneath the ribbon holding the box closed. I undo the knot, and open it up.
And gasp.
Inside, I find the single most expensive item of clothing I’ve ever seen in my life. There’s no price tag, but I don’t need one. It’s obvious. The black cocktail dress is perfect. The silk is so soft that as I run my fingers along the fibers it feels like I’m dipping my hand in warm water. The cut is slender, the design effortlessly stylish.
I wouldn’t be able to afford a dress like this in a million years.
“You can’t wear it,” I groan.
It’s true, I can’t.
I know Harlan Wolfe’s game. I clocked it the second I first laid eyes on him. He’s an alpha male – dominant. I don’t know what happened to him, or when, to make him like this – but I do know that he needs to control his environment. He needs to feel in charge – and he does it through acts like this.
I can’t wear the dress. It sends the wrong message. It tells him that he’s in control of me – and if he thinks that, then any therapy I try won’t be worth squat.
I stand up, letting my towel fall off my body. My damp hair looks a darker shade of red than normal. I can’t wear the dress – not tonight. Not to dinner.
But I can try it on, at least once. See what I would have looked like, what I could have looked like. And imagine – if only for a few seconds – that I’m the kept woman of a billionaire.
I pull the cocktail dress on – carefully – over my naked body. It fits like a glove. I don’t know how Harlan managed it, but the dress matches my measurements as though it was made for me.
Maybe it was.
I model the dress in front of the mirror in my living room. The reflection of my small, yet elegantly appointed apartment provides the backdrop for my one-woman fashion show.
I look incredible.
It’s not cocky or arrogant to admit it. This dress would make the plainest woman in New York feel like a supermodel. Even the kiss of the expensive silk against my skin makes me feel a million bucks.
I groan out loud as I pull it off.
In its place I throw on an old, worn bra, a plain set of panties and a black cocktail dress. Only mine was a hundred bucks – max – found on a dusty rack at the back of a Target downtown.
I eye myself up in the mirror one last time before I leave for the night. I meet the gaze of a freckled, pale-skinned girl staring back at me. I see a woman with curves in places she could do without, and none where she really wants them.
So I give her a pep talk.
“Just treat him like any other client, Skye, and please stop talking to yourself. That’s an order from your therapist…”
Chapter Three
Harlan
Fuck.
Skye Warren is devastatingly good-looking. But that isn’t the term that comes to mind the second I see her walk into the bar. What I really think when I first catch sight of her is that she looks fucking hot.
I stand up and wave. Skye notices me a second before the maître d’ approaches her, and starts walking my way. She throws me a smile. It’s nervous, but definitely genuine. You can’t fake that.
As she walks over, I remove my suit jacket and half roll-up my sleeves. I’m careful not to go too far; careful to hide the marks that lie beneath.
I take a deep breath before she arrives at the table. She’s not late, I was just half an hour early. I don’t know why, but there’s something about this girl that has me acting like I never do – acting nervous, acting like a teenage boy taking his high school crush to prom.
It ends here. I’ve got to remember who I am: Harlan fucking Wolfe. If I want Skye – and I do, from the second I laid eyes on her, I’ve wanted her – then I’m going to get her, whatever it takes. And in Skye’s case, I’ve got a funny feeling that whatever it takes will include not acting like a dominant prick.
So yeah, it’s gonna be a learning experience…
“Skye, I’m glad you came,” I smile.
“I wasn’t under the impression you left me with any other choice… Boss,” Skye says.
She shoots me another smile – except this time it really is a shot. She took aim, and she fired. I’m going to have to remember that she’s no pushover.
The verbal wound stings, but it doesn’t make me back away.
Please, sit,” I smile, gesturing at the seat opposite me. “You didn’t like the dress I sent over?”
Skye doesn’t answer. At least, not directly.
“We need to set some ground rules,” she finally says.
“I’m all ears,” I smile, studying Skye carefully. She looks nervous – yet determined. Whatever she’s about to say, it has been on her mind all night. I’m a betting man – and I would stake good money on it.
Her beauty sucks me in. I can’t look away.
Skye’s hair is a gorgeous red. It shimmers whenever it catches the light. Her eyes are a deep, yet somehow icy blue – and the freckles that dot her face lay a tempting trail to her lips.
I force myself to look away, because I’m pretty sure Skye isn’t thinking what I’m thinking.
I can’t come on too strong. Not yet. But I will.
“I need to treat you like any other patient. This doesn’t work if you’re my boss.”
“Deal,” I say. I’ll say anything to keep her sitting across from me. I know I will.
“I’m serious,” she replies. “The dress…anything like that has got to stop.”
“You didn’t like it?”
Skye squeezes her eyes shut for a second and lets out a tiny, breathy sigh. “I loved it,” she says. “It’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen.”
“So why didn’t you wear it?” I ask curiously.
Skye pauses, chewing her lip – and her cheeks twitch. My forehead furrows as I study her once again. It’s strange. She’s not like the other girls who try to date me – the gold diggers, the women who only want me for my wealth.
Their faces – paralyzed from the Botox – are as false as their intentions. Even without expressions, they are easy to read. They all want the same thing; a thing I’ll never give them. I’ve got too much to protect. Not just my money, but my family.
But Skye’s not like that. I can read her, too. Her face doesn’t hide a thing. It’s a wide open book. Except this book’s written in a language I can’t understand. It’s a strange contradiction.
It only makes me want her more.
“You won’t fire me, right?” she says quietly, but bravely nonetheless.
I grin, “Right.”
“If I wore that dress,” Skye begins, wringing her hands earnestly, “then what does that say about me?”
“That you appreciate high-fashion?” I grin.
Skye shoots me a look that makes me feel very small indeed. Hell, if I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t have believed that a girl as little as her could look so fierce.
“No,” she says in a barely-concealed snarl. “It says that I’m the kind of girl who’s happy to trade her ethics for the finer things in life. It says that I can be corrupted. You can understand that, can’t you?”
I nod my head slowly.
The truth is I’m impressed. I must have almost a decade on Skye – a decade, and a twenty-billion dollar fortune. Even so, she just talked to me like she was my equal. She showed that she was willing to be the best side of herself.
“I think I do,” I say. “You know what, Skye? I think you’ll do alright. Not a lot of people stand up to me, especially not my employees.”
A strange atmosphere settles between us. It’s like we’re two wild animals sizing each other up – preparing for a fight. I guess, in a way, we are. Two animals constrained by society, fighting with our words, but doing battle over something far more precious.
A waiter arrives to take our order. “Would either of you care for a drink?”
“We’ll have a bottle of champagne. The Veu
ve, a ‘72, if you have it?”
The waiter inclines his head without needing to make a note of our order, utters a polite “Certainly, sir,” and quietly departs.
“So it’s a deal?” Skye says pointedly – treating the interruption as though it never happened. I like that, too. She’s persistent. She found an opening, an advantage – and she’s damn well going to press it.
I grin and stick out my hand. “It’s a deal.”
Skye reaches out with her hand and we shake. The contact is exquisite. It’s delightful. It’s like fireworks exploding in my fingertips. I hold on just a second too long – I don’t want this moment to end.
Easy, tiger.
Skye’s eyes flicker down, and I notice that my shirt sleeves have pulled up just an inch too far. My shrapnel scars are exposed, and I quickly let go of her hand and tug my shirt’s crisp white material down to hide them.
“Why don’t you start by telling me how you got those,” Skye asks softly. Her eyes are clouded now. It looks like pity to me, and I hate it.
I drag my tongue across my bottom teeth. “That’s classified,” I say. “I could tell you –.”
Skye’s eyebrow kinks upward. “But you’d have to kill me? You’re full of shit, Harlan. Or should I just stick with boss?”
Fuck me. This girl’s got some balls on her. I don’t know if it’s pity I see in her eyes, now – or a challenge.
I grin back, the awkward tension of a moment before forgotten. “Why don’t you tell me how you really feel, Skye?”
She shrugs, takes a sip of the glass of water in front of her – and does exactly what she said she would. It turns out that maybe I don’t want to hear the truth. To hear the way that this gorgeous woman truly feels about me.
“Okay, then. You’ve got a problem with control, Mr. Wolfe –”
Mr. Wolfe. Now that hurts.
“Mr. Wolfe was my father,” I interject with a broad grin, trying to deflect.
“You’re doing it now,” Skye says. She cuts to the heart of the matter. She’s the knife, and I’m butter.
“You’re deflecting, and I don’t even know if you know you’re doing it. The dress – that was one example. You want to shape the environment around you. You want to bend it – me – and anyone else around you to your will. And if you keep going,” she shrugs sadly. “Trouble sleeping will be the least of your problems.”
