by Inara Scott
The phone was silent. When she stared down at the tiny screen a minute later, she realized that he had hung up. Clutching the phone in her hand, she leaned against the doorframe to her room. It was much easier to counsel someone else to take a risk than to take one yourself.
Steeling her courage, she straightened and unlocked the door. Quietly, she tiptoed into the room and approached the bed. Simon was lying on his back, shoulders bare, the sheet tangled around his chest, his face relaxed and youthful in sleep. She slipped off her pajama top and ducked under the sheet, nestling her body against him. Without opening his eyes, he moved one arm to accommodate her, drawing her close into him.
“Where did you go?” he asked, voice lazy with sleep.
“Phone call.”
“With the kids?”
Her heart tripped a little at the innocent question, at the idea that he knew her routines. “Yes. I let them know I’d be coming home early.”
She hauled herself up on one elbow and hovered over his chest. With a delicate finger, she traced the line of his mouth, his lips smooth and sensual even at rest. He made a sound of pleasure, then reached up and grabbed her hand as his eyes cracked open.
“What’s on the agenda this morning?” he asked, placing a kiss in the center of her palm.
“Work,” she said, closing her eyes to completely focus on the feeling of his breath on her hand.
He kissed the soft spot on the inside of her wrist where her pulse beat, then wrapped his arm around her torso and tugged her down, so her bare breasts were resting against him. She shivered with pleasure as he traced a slow pattern across her back.
“You call this work?”
She chuckled, but the sound felt hollow as she imagined their days together ticking away on some giant, metaphorical clock. She’d looked at flights yesterday, and figured she’d probably take the noon flight home next Monday. With the time change, she’d be home in Denver in time for dinner. But she couldn’t think about that now. She had to be here, in this moment, as long as she could. Now wasn’t a time for planning and being realistic. Now was a time for grabbing this little piece of heaven and holding on tight.
“As long as I can.”
Chapter Seven
Goodbyes, Simon thought, were truly wretched things. No matter how many he’d lived through, they never got any easier, and they always, always involved the potential for disaster. What if you held on a little too long, when the other person was ready to go? Worst of all, what if you lost something wonderful you could never replace?
Been there done that.
They’d spent twelve days together. He couldn’t get enough of her. He’d all but forgotten the girl she used to be as the memory was replaced by the woman she’d become. He couldn’t sleep without her by his side. He checked his phone constantly for messages from her. He couldn’t imagine letting her get on the plane and never seeing her again.
They stood outside the hotel, waiting for the cab to take her to the airport. She wore a pair of snug yoga pants and a loose gray T-shirt that clung in all the right places. He held on to her oversize suitcase, while she carried her neck pillow and plastic bag full of souvenirs and food. The differences between them couldn’t have been more stark. When he traveled, he wore a navy suit and brought a single piece of carry-on luggage. He took a corporate jet, or if necessary, flew first class. Jenna was a disorganized mess, and she was sitting in coach.
Or she thought she was. He’d actually upgraded her ticket that morning while she was taking her shower, and printed her a new boarding pass in the lobby. She’d probably be angry with him for interfering, but he couldn’t let her travel all that way in the back of the plane, next to a crying baby, in a seat that didn’t recline.
He’d started to say something to her last night about how he’d miss her, but she shook her head and stretched out her hand to stop him. “Don’t,” she’d said, with a sad smile. “Just don’t.”
She seemed to know it would have been some kind of halfhearted, this has been really fun sort of statement, and he was glad she hadn’t let him make it. But he couldn’t imagine what else to say.
I’d love to meet your kids someday?
She had a life and it didn’t involve a relationship-phobic son of a bitch like himself. If he really cared about her, he’d let her walk away.
Her cab pulled to a stop in front of the hotel. The driver jumped out and grabbed Jenna’s bag and put it into the trunk. Simon told the man her airline and which route to take so she didn’t get overcharged, and put her suitcase in the back of the car. It occurred to him that he’d gotten used to taking care of her. And maybe it was caveman-ish and stupid, but he was going to miss that, damn it.
He asked the driver to give them a minute. The man nodded politely and got back into the driver’s seat.
“I guess this is it,” Simon said, feeling as helpless and confused as he’d ever felt in his life. Damn it, he was supposed to be good at this. He should know by now how to shrug these things off and not let it get under his skin. Why her? Why now?
Jenna set her bag down on the sidewalk and hugged her arms around his neck. He held her more tightly than he wanted, knowing he was revealing something and yet not able to stop himself. When she pulled back a moment later, he saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes. He opened his mouth—still not sure what the hell to say—when she interrupted him.
“Look, I know you don’t want to hear this, and you don’t even have to respond. In fact, I think it’s better that you don’t.” The words were fast and breathy, spoken between tiny, shuddering breaths that made him want to stop and kiss her senseless. “I need you to understand that despite the fact that I got pregnant when I was eighteen and had three kids before I turned twenty-six, I’m not completely irresponsible. I don’t normally fall in love with strangers or have mad affairs. I do forget to take my kids to the dentist, but that’s because who can remember to get that many dental cleanings in one year?”
He blinked, stuck on the phrase “fall in love.” “Wait, Jenna, did you—”
“I am also in a great place in my life,” she said. “I have a fantastic job, a new house, and a chance to start over. I don’t need anything or anyone, and I sure the hell am not moving anywhere anytime soon. My kids couldn’t handle it and neither could I.”
He tried again. “Did you say—”
She sailed over his attempt to interrupt her. “But having recently given my ex-husband some really good advice, I can’t ignore my own feelings. So here goes.”
She took a deep, deliberate breath. Simon didn’t bother trying to say anything this time. Clearly, she was determined to have her say.
“When I’m with you, I’m happier than I can ever remember being. You make me feel beautiful and cherished and protected and supported all at once. And I could get used to that. I know we barely know each other, but to hell with it. I’m just going to say it. I’m falling in love with you. I would give anything for a few more weeks in your arms and a chance to find out if you feel the same way, or if there’s any possibility that this could turn into something more. And I know that’s impossible for a million different reasons, but I had to tell you the truth.”
She wiped a tear off her cheek with the back of her hand and kept talking. Simon couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. He knew he was gawking, mouth hanging open like a fool, but he couldn’t help it. His brain had shut down, as had his heart and everything else that normally kept him functioning in a coherent way.
“I’m flying back to Denver to a life that’s complicated and untidy, and nothing like what you want. I understand that. But I need you to know that if you ever want to try this out, I’m in. Whatever that means. Dating. Emails. Weekend trips. Whatever.”
Another tear. She wiped underneath her eye and the tip of her pink nail caught and held his attention. Not because it was perfect, polished, or manicured. Because it wasn’t. She was messy and late, and her hair was already escaping the knot she’d tied it into that m
orning.
He tried to push out words, but still nothing came. He felt like he was drowning, like she was pulling him under the surface and he was clawing his way back to the top so he could take one last breath of air. He didn’t want her to go. He couldn’t imagine waking up without her. But she deserved more than a man who didn’t know how to settle down and love. She deserved so much more than he could give her.
“Jenna,” he finally said, voice raspy and unclear. “Jenna, I don’t know what to say. I…”
She shook her head and smiled through a sparkle of tears. “I used to know a boy named Simon who dreamed about settling down in one place, and getting a dog, and sitting in a basement watching movies with a girl he liked. And I think that boy might be in there somewhere, under all that money and power and fear. But I don’t know. I don’t know how big your walls are, and how far down you’ve buried the old Simon. But if you decide you might be ready to open a door for him, let me know, okay? You know where to find me.” She brushed aside a tear that had rolled down her cheek. “Now kiss me goodbye. I have a plane to catch.”
Barely understanding her words, he gathered her up into an embrace that tried to swallow her whole. They melted into each other, fierce and sad and hungry all at once. When she broke away, he was panting wildly, stumbling with the force of his want.
It was all too fast. Too much.
“I don’t know if I can let you go,” he said.
She touched the side of his face, let her hand fall to his chest, then took a step back. Before he could say anything else, Jenna spun around and jerked open the door of the cab. With a quick wave, she slipped inside and turned her face away. The cab pulled into traffic and Simon watched them leave, his heart tearing in half as she disappeared out of sight.
Chapter Eight
Jenna walked back into her office swinging her hair behind her with the pleasure that only comes from walking out of a salon with a gorgeous new cut and style. She’d taken the recommendation of her friend Marie for a hairdresser who was horribly expensive, but knew how to turn women into Cinderella. And she felt like Cindy, too, with layers and waves that Jennifer Aniston would have envied, a spur of the minute makeover, and a new outfit she’d picked up the day before on her lunch break.
She was all about transformation these days. Two weeks back from her trip to China and she was determined to start fresh. No more badly fitting suits. No more granny panties. Her project had been so successful the company had given her a bonus when she got home, which she’d immediately spent on a new wardrobe and a membership at a gym near her office.
She was back to sharing custody with Ross, but he was changing too, thanks to his relationship with Kelsey. He was looking for a house to buy near hers, to make life easier for the kids, and she had a feeling he was going to ask Kelsey to move in with him. Though she wanted to hate the other woman for being absurdly attractive and cool, she couldn’t deny that the two of them were head-over-heels in love with each other. Besides, Kelsey actually seemed incredibly nice, and the kids were remarkably unfazed by the prospect of her spending lots of time with their father.
Life would have been complete, of course, if lightning had struck in Beijing, and Simon had thrown his body in front of the cab and demanded she stay with him forever. But she hadn’t expected it back then and she didn’t expect it now. She’d said what she needed to say in order to leave China with a clear heart and the knowledge that she’d done everything she could to pursue what she wanted. Now, if Simon felt the same way she did, he would have to take the next step.
“Hi, Mercedes, any calls while I was out?” she asked the secretary sitting at the front desk.
“There’s someone waiting in your office,” Mercedes said. “Mr. Absalon walked him over. He said he knew the guy and it would be fine to let him in. I hope that was okay?” She leaned forward. “He’s hot. If you need someone to take him off your hands, just let me know.”
Jenna paused, heart skipping uneasily.
It’s not him. Don’t get excited. Lots of people know Mark Absalon.
Including Simon.
“What does he look like?” she asked, trying to sound unconcerned.
Mercedes waved her hand. “Oh, the usual sort of dreamy. Tall. Eat-you-alive eyes. Looks like he knows his way around a surfboard when he isn’t wearing a suit.”
Jenna cleared her throat, her pulsing leaping into high gear. “Really? Did he leave a name?”
Mercedes stared down at a pad in front of her. “Would you hate me if I admitted that I couldn’t even focus long enough to ask? And by the way, nice hair cut. I guess you knew he was coming?”
“Lucky coincidence,” Jenna murmured. She paused to stare at the closed door to her office, just a few feet down the hall.
It might not be him. It might be some random hot guy. It could happen.
She couldn’t muster the energy to smile at her own joke.
What did Simon want? Why was he here?
“Um, Jenna?” Mercedes prompted. “You okay?”
“Sure,” she muttered vaguely. “Of course.”
“You aren’t moving,” Mercedes said.
“I’m thinking,” Jenna said. “Or something like that.”
Mercedes stood up from her chair and walked around the side of the desk. “You want me to stall him? Or take him to a conference room?”
Jenna sucked in a deep breath. “Nope. I got this.” She stared blindly down the hall for a minute, and then back at the secretary. “I got this, right?”
Mercedes nodded. “You totally got this.”
“Right.”
Mercedes gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “Hon, you still aren’t moving. Just so you know.”
She shook her head and blinked. “Thanks.”
It took an enormous amount of willpower to force her legs to move underneath her, and even more to push open the door to her office. Simon was standing by the window, looking at the framed pictures on her desk of Luke, Julia, and Matt.
She closed the door behind her and cleared her throat. Damn it if he wasn’t even sexier than she imagined. If she didn’t instantly want his mouth on hers. “Um, hi? Simon? What are you doing here?”
He spun around guiltily. “Your secretary let me in. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course.” She didn’t know what to say next. How could you follow up, I think I’m falling in love with you and call me if you’re ever in town?
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Sorry if I’m a little incoherent. I left China a few days ago. I’m not sure how many. I don’t think I’ve slept much.”
She narrowed her gaze. On closer inspection, he did look a little ragged. Eyes ringed with dark circles. Wrinkles on his shirt. “You’ve been home, I assume?”
He nodded yes, shook his head, then nodded again. “I did go to L.A., but only to have my things packed up. And to talk to a realtor about listing the place.”
“Listing…um…what exactly do you mean?” Heat coursed through her. What was going on? Could he…did he…? “You mean you’re selling it?”
“Yeah. It’s not like I was ever really there.”
“What are you doing instead?” She took a step closer, wishing there was some way to stop the incessant fluttering of her breath in her chest, or the insistent pounding in her ears. “Where are you moving to?”
“Denver,” he said. “I think we’ve been missing out on some great investment opportunities here.”
“I guess if you’re never home, it doesn’t really matter what your address is,” she said, forcing herself to stay calm. Rational. Suspicious.
“Actually, I’ve decided to focus on starting a new angel investing fund here in Denver. There’s a thriving entrepreneur culture in this area and I want to tap into it. So I’ll be settling down for a while. Staying put.”
“Oh.” She stopped. Stared at a button on his shirt. Felt a surge of crazy, unadulterated joy. “Why would you want to do that? I thought you liked being on the road.”
<
br /> He took a deep, visible breath. “I missed you,” he said, letting out the air in a long rush. “I missed you like a hole in my heart. I missed you like a piece of me had suddenly disappeared, and it didn’t matter how smart or safe or reasonable it was for me to let you go. You woke me up, damn it. Reminded me of how far I’d come, just because I was scared of being hurt again. Being alone for the rest of my life sounded okay before I knew what the alternative felt like. You changed me, Jen. And I might be terrible at sticking around, and I know you deserve better than me, but I want you too much to give up so easily.”
Jenna heard a tiny squeak emerge from somewhere in her chest, and then she was running, flinging herself at him, and they were colliding with hands and bodies and lips.
“I’m never on time,” she said, when they’d stopped kissing long enough to take a breath. “If you think I was bad in Beijing, you wait until you see me in my real life.”
“I’ve been waiting for you for sixteen years. A few more hours here and there won’t kill me.”
“We’ll take it slow,” she said. “No sense rushing into anything.”
He nodded. “Slow. I’m going to be honest, the idea of moving here is terrifying.”
She touched the side of his face. “It wouldn’t be real if it wasn’t. It’s scary for me, too. But it’s worth it. Not everybody gets a second chance at this kind of happiness.”
He nodded, kissed her lips, and slid a line of warmth with his lips down her neck. “Except, maybe not completely slow?” He cupped her buttocks, drawing her hard against him. “Maybe we can speed it up every now and then?”
“I think we can arrange for that,” she said, twining her arms back around his neck. “We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”
