“You just stay in your dressing room and rest yourself,” she told me. As she walked away I noticed her light, the kind that followed Ben. “Some people’s got God’s glow.” I was taken to my dressing room, but before I even walked in I started feeling better.
A bit later, a production assistant came by to tell me that they were sorry for the delay; Dolly had something come up. Well, what came up turned out to be me. This wonderful woman had gotten me some throat spray. She also made sure that I had hot herbal tea. I had never met a more giving performer, ever. No wonder her songs and her charm touch the world, I thought. She is more than the heart of music, she is the heart of light: someone who dreams big and cares more.
We rehearsed and shot the show the next day. Maybe it was the throat spray or maybe the tea, but I really think that it was the magic of Dolly Parton that made me feel great. It turned out that she did the same for her crew and friends, whoever needed her help. Talking with the people that worked with her, I was astounded to learn about the selfless, quiet help that Dolly gave them, from monetary assistance to emotional healing. This gallant woman not only wrote songs about the need for human connection—she damn well gave it.
Through the years, I’ve read a lot of articles about Dolly, but not enough of them touch on the person that she really is, and that is why I’ve included this story. Not long after I guested on her show, she recorded and released the most popular song of her career to date: a song that crossed over to the pop charts and made her a mega-star, “Here You Come Again.” In a blink, Dolly was known to the world as both a country artist and a pop star. I was thrilled for her success. A few months later, my agent received a request for me to be a presenter at the American Music Awards, airing on ABC. I accepted and was excited to be included. It turned out that my co-presenter would be Dolly Parton, who was now well on her way to becoming a superstar.
The afternoon of the show there was a rehearsal (yes, even the award presenters rehearse). When I met Dolly again, nothing had changed. She had the exact same warmth and heart. In fact, one of the stagehands had a cold, and there was Dolly finding him Kleenex. Again I realized that I was working with a talented woman who dreamed big, but cared more. That night we presented two awards and believe me, Dolly didn’t need a spotlight, God’s light follows her every path.
“Some people’s got God’s glow. Dey healers dat heal hearts.”
I wish that you could have met her, Willie. You, Ben, and Dolly would have had a sandwich outside together, brightening and healing the world.
Strength of Character
“He be my leader. Lead me to dey right places in my head. He always see dey good in me and make it better.”
One chilly and rainy Saturday there was a lull in business at the store. I finished cleaning up the entrance area and then looked for Willie. I found him talking with a kind-looking older gentleman near the office area. Willie looked different . . . younger . . . reminding me of a small child, his face beaming, as he listened intently. Usually it was the other way around—Willie talking while others listened. After a few minutes the two exchanged a warm hug and then the gentleman departed.
Back in “Dey Talk Room,” I asked Willie who the man was. He said, “He be my leader. Lead me to dey right places in my head. He always see dey good in me and make it better.”
It turned out that he was a minister. Willie first met him years earlier while delivering furniture to his church. Ever since then, the minister would occasionally drop by the store to check up on him. What Willie liked was that this minister never judged or tried to change him; he accepted him for who he was. Willie said, “Dey man knows dat only change come from wanting to. He make it so you want to.” He added that these leaders are “important” and you “needs to watch dem and listen.”
I’ve been lucky enough to watch and listen to a man like this for almost forty years and counting. Ron Howard is a man of great character—one of the purest individuals that I’ve met since Willie. Yes, he’s tremendously talented, and yes, he’s extremely successful, but most importantly, he’s a selfless leader “dat always see dey good in me and make it better.” From the first moment we met, Ron has had a quiet maturity way beyond his years. He never got too high or too low; he was always even keel. His work ethic was impeccable and he never, ever let his ego rule. It was always the work first and himself second, or even third. A good example is when he took a back seat to Henry Winkler on Happy Days. Henry’s character, Fonzie, had skyrocketed in popularity, and the network wanted to put him up front in the show. Ron had a strong contract and could have easily said no, but he knew what was best for the show’s success and quickly agreed to take a back seat.
Every day we worked together, Ron quietly made me a better person. I would observe his actions; I would watch him actively making everybody around him feel good and positive. I knew that he would never further himself by hurting somebody else; he had the strength of character to get ahead by always doing the right thing.
Ron earned his directing success through hard work. In fact, most people don’t know that Ron won a national Kodak Film contest when he was only twelve years old. He won for best 8 mm film that was cut in the camera, meaning that there was no editing. Each shot was designed to fit perfectly with the following and so on. He did this at twelve years old! Ron won this award on pure talent—he entered by mail along with thousands of other contestants.
For years, he tried to gain a foothold directing, but nobody would give him a chance. Still, I never heard him say a bad word about anyone. He only worked harder and got better. It was Ron who convinced me that I had the talent to produce and create television shows, and it was Ron who gave me the opportunity to succeed. Together we had meetings at NBC and ABC to sell my first shows. After he started making hit films, like Splash, he agreed to back me up on my first directing gig. (You remember I told you earlier: if I screwed up, he would come in and take over. This made the network comfortable working with me, a first time director.) What was really incredible about Ron’s gesture was that at the time he was a huge feature director, yet he was willing to back me up on an ABC Afterschool Special. That was simply unheard of; but that’s Ron, a friend who is always there for you, and a leader who sees the best in you.
Ron is now one of the most successful individuals in the industry; not only as a director, but also as a film and television producer, and the owner of the prolific Imagine Entertainment. He’s also raised a wonderful family, and has given back so much to so many. You don’t hear about his generosity because he never mentions it . . . he does it from his heart. He transcends the magical movies he makes with the magic he unselfishly gives to others. He’s a rare individual in today’s gluttonous world, a man who made it the right way and has given back even more.
“He be my leader. Lead me to dey right places in my head. He always see dey good in me and make it better.”
A Wealth of Positive Energy
“Der’s no age for answers.
God’s help come from all ages.”
Willie once told me that he received important help and advice from a fifteen-year-old boy, advice that saved and turned his life around. Willie was in his thirties at the time and homeless, living on the streets of some city that he must have mentioned, but that I’ve long ago forgotten. Leaving home at sixteen years old, neither loved nor educated, he was a broken man: drinking his pain numb and panhandling for survival. One chilled winter day while sitting on the sidewalk, turned from the street to shield himself from the bitter cold, cheap booze in his hands, he felt a warm blanket placed on his shoulders. Turning around, he saw a young boy, probably fifteen years old, with blankets in hand. The boy gave him another one for his legs. Willie was touched by the boy’s gifts, but even more so by the kindness in his young eyes. He told me, “He had dey light of God in doz eyes.”
The boy was a volunteer for a rescue mission, and had gotten a bunch of his high
school friends to join with him. This kid was the first person in a very long time to break through Willie’s anger and deadness, bringing him food and fellowship on subsequent days, and good feelings back into his life. Willie told me that the boy told him, “What you wants in your life, you needs to give to someone else. If I wants to feel betta, den I gots to make someone else feel betta.” He gazed at me for a long moment, and then finally said, “Dat’s why I give back to you, boy. I gives to me too.”
The young man gave Willie hope and purpose, and finally convinced him that he deserved to let the mission help him to get back on his feet. It wasn’t long before Willie started his life again. “Der’s no age for answers boy, God’s help come from all ages.”
In the years ahead, I was destined to learn the same lesson.
StarMaker Products was doing great, but it had been a while since I directed a television show. One afternoon, out of the blue, I got a call from my agent with an offer to direct one segment of a new series called The Secret Life of the American Teenager. It was about a pregnant teenager and the responsibilities that come with being a mom in high school. It was the first show to deal honestly with the reality of unprotected teenage sex. Well, what started as one episode turned into a five-year job directing a third of the shows. The cast and crew were fantastic, but the standout was a sixteen-year-old actress named Shailene Woodley. She played the young pregnant girl who becomes a single mom. I first heard of Shailene from my friend Don Most, who played Ralph on Happy Days. He had directed Shailene in a terrific film called Moola. Don is a very talented director, and he had nothing but raves for Shailene—he praised her professionalism and lack of ego at such a young age. He said her talent and integrity reminded him of a young Ron Howard.
On my first day working with Shailene, her talent and work ethic were not the only things that astounded me—I was also bowled over by her kind heart. She radiated a wealth of positive energy to the entire cast and crew. I could see that she cared much more about all those around her than she did about herself. Like Don, she reminded me of Ron Howard, but also of Dolly Parton. Even after the show became the most popular in the ABC Family network’s history, she had the integrity to stay who she was and maintain her innate understanding of the importance of balance and nature.
Shailene cares about the planet that we all share, and she takes personal responsibility to keep it (and us all) healthy. She has a huge appreciation for life, and uses her high profile to educate and make people’s lives better—she is not the kind of person who wants to sell a profitable clothing or make-up line. Instead she is an enlightened young lady who walks the walk. She grows and cooks her own food and hikes to a special stream to fill containers with her week’s water. She knows every edible and inedible plant on earth, what foods to eat and stay away from and why, how to keep herself in the best health, and on and on. I worked with Shailene from the time she was sixteen to the time she was twenty years old, and I really believe that she helped me grow more than I helped her.
“Der’s no age for answers, boy, God’s help come from all ages.” You were right, Willie. I’d never imagined that my life would be transformed by a sixteen-year-old. Then again, who would have thought it possible that a fifteen-year-old could have saved yours? And that you, in turn, would make this impossible story possible?
Shailene educated and inspired me. She taught me how to make a healthier, happier world. I asked her once, “Who are the people that impress you?” and she answered, “People that make a difference.”
Shailene Woodley is making a vast difference. She moves the world with her artistic talent and improves the world with her heart. She marches to her own drummer with “Dey light of God in doz eyes.”
A Conversation with Willie
“I always be with you, boy.”
Waking up this morning, I had an overpowering need to see Willie. It’s kind of crazy—I mean, it’s been over forty years since we last spoke—still, I got in my car and drove to Leonard’s Department Store. Walking in, the place looked exactly the same. I went to the back and the door of “Dey Talk Room” was open. Looking in, it hadn’t changed either: the same rusted oil drum cans, age-stained walls, and smell of Marlboros and whiskey in the air. Willie was standing by his makeshift desk, finishing up a smoke.
WILLIE:Sit yerself down, boy.
Feeling fifteen again, I do as I’m told. Willie puts out his cig and sits on the drum next to me.
WILLIE: . . . You lookin’ fine.
ME:You’re looking good too, Willie.
Willie hasn’t aged at all.
WILLIE:So, tell me yer story, boy.
Tell my story? It’s been decades since we last talked. Willie sensed that I didn’t even know where to start.
WILLIE: (Smiling) . . . Need to know if it be happy.
He didn’t want my life story. He just wanted to know that I was okay.
ME:Yeah, everything’s great. How are you doing?
WILLIE:I be good. (Laughing) Gots me enough whiskey to stops the bad.
You see, Willie never stopped drinking, but he learned how to control it. He went through so much pain in his life that it could never go away, not completely, and sometimes he just needed a little help to keep on going.
WILLIE: You workin’ hard, boy? Got yerself a family?
ME:Yeah, been working steady. Have a great family: five kids, Willie . . . all girls.
WILLIE: You a blessed man, dey always takes care of der daddy.”
ME:Yeah, if they don’t kill you first.
WILLIE: (Laughing) Yeah, boy, dey can do dat too.
He takes his flask out of his pants pocket and gets a taste.
ME: I needed to see you and thank you.
WILLIE: For what, boy?
How do you say everything? I guess you just say. . .
ME: Everything.
WILLIE: (Laughing out loud) Dat’s a big word, boy.
ME: Well, you gave me a big life, Willie . . . (Getting emotional) . . . and I never got the chance to tell you that.
WILLIE: (Confused) What I do?
ME: You talked to me.
WILLIE: (Laughs) I talks to everbody.
ME: Before I met you, everyone talked at me. You were the first that talked to me.
WILLIE: (Touched) Dat’s kind, boy.
ME: You made sure that I found myself . . . (Wiping away tears) . . . and you made sure that you were with me every day since.
Willie smiles, lighting up the room, and puts his hand on my shoulder.
WILLIE: You be wit me too, boy.
ME: I don’t understand.
WILLIE: You takes wit you what you give. We talks ’bout dat before.
ME: (Remembering) . . . Yeah, we did.
WILLIE: Well . . . Gots to be goin, boy. Promise dey furniture man dat I shine his floor up. He say dey sell lots better dat way.
He goes over and gets his floor waxer.
ME: . . . But I just got here.
Willie puts down the waxer and walks up to me.
WILLIE: . . . We talks enough. Good to see you and good to know dat everthin’s movin’ on. Dat’s what it all about, boy.
ME:There’s so much you don’t know. So much has happened.
WILLIE: Knows enough, and I is proud of you, boy, but dey talks are done now. You gots five daughters and lots of peoples dat needs you. It’s der turn.
He takes a step closer.
WILLIE: You gots me with you . . . no needs to go back. You and me be movin’ on.
He gives me a hug that makes everything feel right.
WILLIE:I loves you, boy.
ME: I love you too, Willie.
He and his waxer then start out the door. Just outside, he turns to me one last time.
WILLIE:I always be with yo
u, boy.
It’s then that I woke up . . .
And it all became suddenly clear. I needed to pay Willie’s wisdom forward so that everyone can have their talks in “Dey Talk Room,” so that everyone has that chance to find themselves and move on. That’s the reason for this book, to inspire you to stop looking at your mountain and to start climbing it, just like Willie did for me . . . ’Cause you knows what?
“You gonna do somethin’ great in life. Just a feelin’ I got.”
Epilogue
Singing to a Bulldog would never have been written if it weren’t for Dr. Roberta Temes’s book How to Write a Memoir in 30 Days. For years, people have been saying to me that I should write a book about my life; for even longer, I have wanted to share with the world Willie Turner’s lessons and the profound effect he had on who I became as an individual, giving me the tools for a full-bodied life.
I always thought, “Someday, when I have more time, I’ll write that book.” Then a friend gave me a copy of Dr. Temes’s book and I was inspired to start immediately. It not only gave me a detailed, step-by-step guide to write my first memoir, but also the confidence that I could do it successfully. I encourage you to make the time to tell your story.
Introduction
The book that’s been rattling around in your head is ready to reveal itself.
Simply follow the daily directions and by next month you will have a memoir ready to submit for publishing.
Just write what you are asked to write for each day’s assignment and your memoir will appear. You might decide to do this entirely on your computer, or you might print it out and keep your pages in a folder or you might handwrite it all in a notebook. If you prefer not to write, then speak into a recorder (perhaps your phone can record?) and when you complete the thirty assignments you will have an audio book. If you then wish to turn it into a written book, all you need to do is find a transcriptionist who will type out your recorded words.
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