“Don’t tell me that you’re still mad at me. Or are you mad at Big Mike?”
“Look, Jared. Not that it’s any of your business. But if you must know, Michael does my taxes. So don’t be starting any shit with me. I am not the person you want to mess with today. Okay? Anyway, what do you want?”
“All right. Calm down. I just want to know when I can come and get Kharri. That’s all.”
“School’s out in June. You can come and get her then.” Kennedy lowered her voice and said very calmly and slowly, making sure to emphasize her point, “but don’t, and I mean don’t have her around any of your women. She’s not ready for that.”
“See you in June.”
* * *
Although Jared was her daughter’s father, Kennedy couldn’t stand him. At one time she had loved him with all that she had. But then, he had been her childhood sweetheart and her first in everything. In her heart she knew that she would always love him as her daughter’s father. But just because you love someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to like them.
It had taken Kennedy a long time to get over Jared. When they were together, he was nothing but good to her. He treated her like a queen, and because of him, her standards were high. Her motto after him had been, Why be one man’s trash when you can be another man’s treasure. She didn’t know if she was Michael’s treasure, but she knew for certain that she wasn’t his trash.
She wanted Michael. Hell, she wanted him desperately, but couldn’t let him know that. She had to stand her ground because once you lay down, someone would walk over you. And she wasn’t about to be anybody’s doormat. But as much as she wanted Michael, she often found herself thinking about Jared. She reminisced about what they had, almost had, and didn’t have. Who was he having something with now? As much as she tried to convince herself that she didn’t care about his seeing someone else, she couldn’t lie to herself. She was no different from most women. She still considered Jared as belonging to her even though she didn’t want him. Once mine, always mine, Kennedy thought, smirking to herself.
Kennedy decided to call Jared back to apologize for being so rude. After all, he was a great father, and she saw no reason that they shouldn’t get along. Because of Kharri they would be connected for life, and being friends would be easier on them.
She would call him from home. After her hectic afternoon she needed to relax. Her disagreement with Michael and her petty argument with Jared had caused her temples to throb.
At home she could tell that her sister had just left. The living room reeked of her Happy perfume and the strong garlicky aroma of whatever she had eaten for lunch. Had Simone paged Michael from the office or the house? Kennedy set her purse on the sofa out of habit. Her grandmother had taught her a long time ago the old superstition, if you leave your purse on the floor you’ll never have any money.
In the kitchen she picked up the phone. Feeling silly, she hesitated and then thought what the hell and pressed the redial button. The digital voice on the other end told her that she had reached Michael Montgomery’s service and she could either leave a voice message or a number.
Simone had been home all day. Being the vice president of a successful accounting firm, Simone had been afforded the luxury of working by phone, fax, in the office or out. Simone had it made. Kennedy twisted her face. What pager number did Simone have? When Kennedy called, she heard a different message, one in Michael’s voice.
Michael only had one pager. Evidently it was hooked up to two different numbers. He never told her that or even bothered to give her the other number. Why? She thought he had given her all of his numbers, or at least he said that he did.
After searching the refrigerator for something to snack on, she decided to have a glass of wine. So what that it was the middle of the day? She had had a long morning and afternoon and for the call she was about to make, she needed a few. Although the call she made to Michael’s pager still invaded her head, Kennedy put thoughts of Michael aside, went to her room and locked her door, and dialed Jared’s number. The phone rang twice. A woman answered. Kennedy hung up. She must’ve dialed the wrong number. Ever since she left Jared, she could never remember his number. “You know that’s a shame,” Kennedy said to herself and got up to get her phone book from her desk.
When she had found the number she dialed it again, and again some woman answered. Kennedy hung up. Obviously Jared had changed his number again and not told her. Her adrenaline rushed from frustration. She ran her fingers through her short black hair and headed toward Kharri’s room to retrieve Jared’s number from her daughter’s Barbie phone book. Just like him to give it to Kharri and not to her.
The number looked familiar. It was the exact one that she had dialed. She called back anyway. Again, the same woman answered.
“Yes, may I speak with Jared, please?” Kennedy asked, waiting for the woman to tell her that she had the wrong number.
“Who’s this?” the woman asked a little too confidently, as if she knew that Kennedy was the one to hang up on her twice in two minutes.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I must have the wrong number.”
“No. No, you don’t. He’s here, but who is this?” the woman snapped.
“Who wants to know?” Kennedy demanded, not liking the interrogation from some strange woman.
“You don’t call my house and ask me who I am. You tell me who you are and what you want first, if you want to speak to Jared.”
“This is Kennedy. Can you put Jared on the phone now?”
Muffled voices came over the line while someone apparently covered the phone with a hand, as though mute buttons didn’t exist. She couldn’t believe that Jared allowed someone to answer his phone that way. The woman obviously knew who she was because the “who’s this” and “what do you want” game had ended as soon as Kennedy said her name.
“Kennedy, I’m sorry. Let me call you right back. I got something to take care of real quick,” Jared apologized in an aggravated voice that Kennedy had never heard before.
“Uh-uh. Talk to me right now, Jared. I’m not waiting for anybody to call me back, not after all that childish bullshit that I just went through. You owe me for that one because you know me, Jared, and that, that right there could’ve gotten very ugly. I almost had to step out of character. But you know that’s not my caliber. I’m not that immature where I forget how to speak to people, and I deserve the same respect as I give. You understand?”
“Yeah, Ken. I understand,” Jared said between a clicking sound on the phone. “Answer your other line.”
“No. Whoever it is can wait.”
“Ken, answer the phone, okay? Just do me that one favor,” Jared almost pleaded.
Kennedy clicked over to the other line. “Hel-lo?”
“It’s me, Ken. That’s why I wanted you to answer. I switched to my cell phone. Now where were we? Oh, I am really sorry that you had to go through that. I’m sorry that I had to go through that.”
“Who was that, Jared?” Kennedy asked, afraid to hear the answer. “And why was she answering your phone? Don’t lie to me. Because I know that she’s somebody to you, otherwise you wouldn’t have switched to your cell phone. And I know that you switched so that you could leave the house because I can hear the wind blowing through the phone. Cell phones don’t sound the same as house phones, so don’t lie.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Jared laughed nervously. “I left the house. I needed to go for a walk. A brother needs some air, ya know?”
“Who was that, Jared? And what gave her the audacity to speak to me like that? She must be pretty important to you because you left her in your house.”
“Ken, I’ve got something to tell you. I was calling to talk to you earlier but you didn’t seem to be in a talking mood,” Jared said. Kennedy’s heart sank. “That was Tasha.” He hesitated. “My fiancée.”
“Fiancée, fiancée? What do you mean, your fiancée? Fiancée? Since when?”
“Ken, look. I was going
to tell you before Kharri came. I promise you that. I thought it would be something that we should discuss. I thought that maybe you would help me explain it to Kharri, or at least tell me how I should try to explain it.”
“You don’t need to explain anything to Kharri because Kharri ain’t coming. Do you hear me? I don’t want my daughter anywhere near Sasha, Tasha, or whatever her name is.”
“Our daughter,” Jared corrected. “And yes, Kharri is coming. Tasha won’t be anywhere around Kharri because Kharri and I won’t be here. I’m taking her back to Virginia Beach and we’re going to visit my parents for the summer. So don’t worry about that. I wouldn’t confuse my daughter by having some woman around her that she doesn’t know, Ken. I know better than that.”
“All right, but please don’t let me find out different,” Kennedy almost whispered.
“You all right, Ken? You don’t sound like yourself. Why did you call anyway? I don’t think you’ve ever called my house without Kharri being there,” Jared asked.
“I’m straight. Actually I was calling to apologize for earlier today. I just figured that since we have a child together, the least we can do is try to be friends. But I can tell from the tact of your fiancée that all we’ll ever be is Kharri’s parents. I’ll be your baby’s momma and you’ll be my baby’s daddy,” Kennedy responded coolly, trying to cover her bruised feelings.
“Ken, Ken, we’ll always be friends. How couldn’t I be your friend when you were the first to know more about me than I know about myself? I wouldn’t want to lose that, I’d be a fool. We had something special and from that we created someone special. And people think that only God Himself gives blessings but that’s not true because you blessed me. Through Him, you blessed me with Kharri. I can never repay you for that and I can never thank you enough. Because of that I will always have a love for you that no one can take away. We always remember our firsts in life and you gave me my first child, you were my first love, and you will always be my friend despite my new life,” Jared explained in the usual warm and caring way that belonged to him and him alone.
“Um-hmm. I gotta go now. Bye, Jared. Bye forever, okay?” Kennedy said very quietly, feeling as lost as she did the day that she left him. The pain was stabbing her soul, wringing all the happiness out of her heart, making her numb. She had lost him twice in one lifetime.
A lump grew in her throat, a burning in her stomach, and tears welled up in her eyes. How easily words fell from his mouth, how easily he told her that he was engaged. How could he tell her he was going to marry some other woman and say that he would always love her in the same breath? Jared had spoken about a lot of firsts, not onlys. First love. First child. First person to know him better than he knew himself. Kennedy broke down and cried. A first meant that eventually a second would follow.
~ 2 ~
“Simone, I know you’re home, so pick up the phone, it’s me, Kennedy.”
“Hey, Kennedy. How did you know that I was at home? I’m supposed to be at work, you know?”
“Because you paged me, remember?”
“Oh yeah, that’s right. I was wondering if you could pick me up a couple of bottles of that wine that I like so much on your way home.”
“Piesport, right? You ordered it, right, because it has to be ordered, you know.”
“Yeah, Ken, that’s the one. And yes, I ordered it, a few of them actually.”
“I’ll pick them up for you. But now I have to go because I’m in the car and you of all people should know that these cellular bills aren’t anything to play with after you run out of minutes.” If Simone couldn’t do anything else, she could run her mouth nonstop.
“Okay, but before you hang up like you always do, I wanted to inform you ahead of time that I’m having company tonight.”
“And?”
“And you should find something to do.” Click.
* * *
Simone had really gotten on Kennedy’s last nerve, hanging up on her like she ran the world. But she didn’t run Kennedy. No one did. Simone ran her mouth, and maybe her job, which Kennedy couldn’t figure out because she never took her butt to work. Kennedy didn’t know how she made all that money sitting at home on her lazy behind. She didn’t want to see Simone anyway. Who Simone thought she was, trying to tell her to find something to do, Kennedy didn’t know. Besides, she already had plans, some major plans. Michael. And she was going to do him too. Kennedy decided that it was time for her to move because the house-sharing thing wasn’t making it, especially with her having her older sister as a roommate. Hell, she must’ve been crazy. What was she thinking? “More money and less rent. But as they say, all good things must come to an end,” Kennedy said to herself as she accidentally drove past the liquor store.
Kennedy called her best friend, Miranda, for the third time that day. She couldn’t wait to tell her about Michael. She had to tell somebody before she burst.
“Miranda, pick up!” Kennedy yelled into Miranda’s answering machine. What was up with everybody screening their calls nowadays?
“Hey, Kennedy, what’s up, girl?”
“Nothing much. What’s going on with you, and where have you been? I’ve called you about a million times today.”
“Oh, I was at the grocery store, and not a damn thing is going on. So did you see your friend?”
“Did I?”
“Kennedy, don’t be holding out on me. So tell me what happened and don’t leave out anything. I want to know everything. So do tell.”
“All right, but you have to wait until I get there, okay? You know.”
“Yeah, I know. Your cell bill is not to be played with and so on and so on. Right?”
“And you know it.”
“Kennedy, honestly I don’t know why you’re so cheap. You have money, and besides you haven’t paid for anything ever since you got with this new guy.”
“Yeah, well, I’m on the BQE, I’ll see you when I get there. Bye.”
* * *
Kennedy pulled up in front of Miranda’s house and was captured. The sweet scent of the flowers rushed to meet her and overpowered her thoughts. For a moment time stood still as she gazed at the luscious harmony, a mix of flowers, bushes, and plush velvet-green grass. The entire yard screamed that it had been designed by a landscape architect. Miranda had been smart in choosing her colors for the remodeled Long Island home. The beige-peach stucco was topped with a red-tiled Spanish roof, and adorned with floor-to-ceiling windows. The house was inviting. She had never taken a real good look at it before. Then again most people didn’t, and anytime people were newly in love, as she was, they admired everything as though love revealed something in a different light.
Kennedy stepped up on Miranda’s porch and rang the bell even though the front door was open. She was forced to laugh at the different ranges of dings and dongs that seemed to ring for a small eternity.
“Come on in, Kennedy, the door’s open,” Miranda yelled.
“Miranda, did you know that your doorbell sounds like a Mozart concert? Every time I come here I hear a symphony.”
“Cute, Kennedy, cute.” Miranda playfully sucked her teeth and dramatically rolled her eyes.
Kennedy set her keys on the red crescent-shaped table that sat opposite the front door. She turned in a full circle, taking in the décor. She nodded and bumped Miranda with her hip. “I really like what you did with this place, Miranda. I’m feeling it, and I haven’t even seen everything that you’ve done to it yet. I wish I had a place of my own.” She sauntered behind Miranda, following her to the adjoining room.
Miranda patted the sofa. “Girl, sit down and tell me the news. You can look at the house later. I know you got major dirt for me, right? You better have dirt for me, making me sit here and wait for an hour, so it better be damn good.” Miranda laughed and lit her cigarette as she always did when preparing herself for the latest news.
“Light me one too. I need it right now, just like after sex, you know.” Kennedy fluttered her eyes an
d crossed her legs.
Miranda shook her head. “Kennedy, no you didn’t. Was it good, girl?” Miranda scooted to the edge of her seat.
Kennedy held up her hand. “Slow down, Miranda. We didn’t go there yet. Well, at least I didn’t. But he did and did it well, I might add.” Kennedy pointed between her legs, stuck out her tongue, and wiggled it.
Miranda and Kennedy fell out laughing.
“When, where?” Miranda jumped up and clapped her hands. “I knew it! I knew it! You can’t tell me your hot ass didn’t give him some. I know you,” she said, pointing, “and your hot ass was on fire. So did you let him extinguish you, or what?” Miranda sat down and slowly crossed her arms and legs at the same time, waiting for her answer.
Kennedy fanned her hand. “No, I told you already. He does me and that’s it. I believe he has this fetish with my—hell, you know. Either that, or the brother’s hungry.” Kennedy laughed as Miranda sat up and gave her a high five. “Anyway, let me finish. Check this out. I met him for lunch at this little bistro on the Upper East Side. We talked. We ate. We drank, and I had just a few too many Cosmopolitans.”
Miranda nodded. “That’ll do it. Works for me every time.”
Kennedy sat stone-faced until Miranda got the hint to be quiet. “Can I finish?”
Miranda huffed and sat back.
“Thank you. So I came out and asked him what he wanted from me and he kissed my hand and said he wanted all of me. Girl, I almost creamed my panties right there, on the spot. No, that’s not true, because I wasn’t wearing any panties.”
Miranda choked. “Uh-uh girl. Don’t you ever tell me some shit like that while I’m inhaling. You made me choke.” Miranda patted her chest.
Kennedy laughed. “That’s what you get. I told you to let me finish. Now where was I? Oh, and you know me, Ms. Curious, I asked him why. Why did he want me? He started saying how nice and sophisticated I am and how my eyes are like the color of rain, and how my complexion reminds him of pure honey and that my lips are soft and my tongue tastes good. Oh and let’s not forget that I’m an intellectual and one of the smartest people he has ever met.” Kennedy stood and curtsied.
Momma's Baby, Daddy's Maybe Page 2
