Both things would prove she was telling the truth, and maybe they’d be easier to share than saying the words out loud.
Emily, now is not the time to be a coward.
Being a coward was the last thing she wanted, and maybe this was the opportunity she’d been looking for to get some well-deserved closure after hiding in the shadows for so long.
Rider honked from the parking lot and Emily took one last look in the mirror before she tucked her things under her arm and locked her front door behind her.
Rider only held out a helmet to her as she stuffed the two things she was carrying into her bag and slung it over her shoulder. She paused only to kiss him gently on the side of the mouth before she swung one leg over the side of his bike and climbed on behind him.
The storm is coming, Emily, but you’ve survived it before.
Ash can’t have you if you don’t let him.
No one can have me without my permission, especially Ash…
Chapter 8
The entire clubhouse was silent as Emily and Rider stepped inside. Emily couldn’t see anyone hanging around, and as Ox came around the corner and into the great room, she figured out why.
“We’re all waiting for you. Come on, girl.”
His tone left no room for argument, and what could she say anyways?
Sorry I lied about an entire chapter of my life? Maybe even two chapters?
Rider squeezed her hand encouragingly and Emily realized she hadn’t even known she’d reached for him.
“Before we step in there and I bare my soul to a room full of salty bikers, I want your word that you’ll still be here.”
Her voice shook when her words left her mouth and Rider moved to kiss her softly.
“I promise.”
Out of habit, she stuck out her pinky. Rider clasped his with hers and she smiled at him.
“Thank you.”
Rider shook his head and motioned for her to get moving, his eyes weary. She felt the very same way beneath her paper-thin-skin.
Now or never, Em.
Get it done with…
Emily straightened her spine and led Rider forward, her grip on him tight and immovable. She wouldn’t let go of him, not this time, because she needed him. As soon as Emily walked through the doors, Limit greeted her with a surprising hug and smile.
“You okay, sweetheart?”
Emily eyed him like he’d grown a third head, but she didn’t question him. Instead she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him closely, accepting the warmth he was offering her.
“Everybody here?,” Ox called.
Rayna came scrambling into the room, Flora in her arms.
“Wait for me! My legs are little,” She mumbled.
Fury rose to help her into a seat, his strong arm around her waist as she settled Flora against her chest. Emily opened her mouth to say something, anything to break apart the tension in the room and in her chest, but a familiar voice stopped her.
“Wait for me. I want to hear this. The true story ,” Scarlett said angrily.
Emily knew that she should feel absolutely shameful about not telling her best friend everything had happened with Ash, but then, she hadn’t wanted anyone to know.
Not the cashiers at the grocery store.
Not the ladies at the nail salon.
Not even her professors in college.
Emily made eye contact with Scarlett and her friend’s expression softened a little before Rider tugged her towards his side of the table and set her down in her own chair. He didn’t let go of her and she was so grateful that she nearly gave up on telling anyone anything.
“When I first moved to Bryson City, Scarlett wasn’t here with me. We were separated for a little while she worked on her schooling, and I worked on mine. One day I was doing something so simple, just walking to a diner in town before class, and this guy showed up on his bike. At the time, it didn’t really faze me. I wasn’t exactly interested, but then, I was bored. So, when he asked me out on a date…I said yes,” Emily said with a small shrug.
Emily could feel everyone’s eyes on her, including Green’s, but she did her best to stare at her hands so she could remember as vividly as possible.
Scarlett leaned into Limit while Emily found the right words to say. Rider squeezed her hand so tightly, she looked up at him.
“You can do this,” He murmured.
It was the way he said it that gave her the strength she needed.
Ox was watching her so intently she felt like her whole entire world was on display, but she knew that whether it be right there in that room or somewhere else, she’d have to come clean.
“I went out with him. One date turned into three and soon we were ‘dating,’ I suppose. It all changed the first time I met his friends.”
Emily sucked in a deep breath and flipped her arm over, exposing the soft flesh of her right forearm. Just beneath a fiery phoenix tattooed on her skin was a splattering of tiny scars she’d purposely hidden with ink.
Ox motioned for her to continue, but the expression on his fatherly face told her he knew exactly what she was going to tell him. That she wasn’t going to tell him something he hadn’t already expected, but the truth would still change everything.
That made her feel a little better, little less shameful.
Scarlett was watching her with wide eyes and they were brimming with tears that only spilled over when Emily whispered, “That was the first night he really laid his hands on me.”
Rayna was watching her and so was Esme, and both women looked absolutely emotional.
“He had a friend, Jonah. I don’t know if he’s still in Ash’s crew or not, but he was always kind to me. The only nice one in the bunch, I’ll tell you that. Anyway, that night, Jonah asked me to grab him a beer. I responded with a smile and a nod, and Ash sent me flying into the glass coffee table in the center of our living room. He was always accusing me of flirting with Jonah,” Emily said sadly.
Scarlett blinked and two tears fell from her eyes, but Emily wasn’t on the verge of tears anymore. The truth was coming out of her mouth like mechanical word-vomit, almost as if her brain was detaching her from the situation so that she could survive the small re-telling.
“It went on like that for a long time. He isolated me from all of my friends, my family. I couldn’t work, couldn’t paint, fuck…I could barely think straight. I was scared all the time, and being that he was nomad, he would force me to take long weekends and sometimes I missed class because he wanted to be gone longer.”
“So, you weren’t taking self-defense classes? Those bruises were real?,” Scarlett asked.
Emily remembered a specific video chat with Scarlett where she’d forgotten to cover her bruises with make-up.
Emily nodded numbly.
“Among other things. Eventually I got smart and started to hide my own stash of cash because I knew that if I ever wanted to get away from him for real, I’d have to pay my own way. So, I started to save my money and I hid it in one of my winter boots. He found it and that was the last time I ever let him lay his hands on me.”
Emily looked at the people eyeing her around the table and shrugged again, because she didn’t have anything else to say.
“If he’s here lookin’ for you now, how did you get away from him before?”
Emily glanced at Slayer before she winced and slammed the journal and the manila envelope onto the table and passed them to Ox.
“Actually, that was easier than I thought it would be. I called Scott’s dad, Trent, and told him I needed help.”
Scarlett’s mouth fell open.
“You told him the whole story, but not me? Your best friend?”
Emily ran a hand down her face.
“I didn’t want anyone to know and Trent didn’t care about me. I paid him and he did his job. I imagine right about now is when Ash was supposed to be released from prison. Honestly, I thought I had more time. I’ve been so caught up with everything else, I didn’t
realize the time frame,” Emily explained.
Ox opened the envelope and a stack of photos fell out.
The sight of them made Emily sick, but if Ox wanted the whole story, she’d give it to him.
“Those are photos of what he did to me. I used the journal to log every time he abused me in explicit detail. I wasn’t completely stupid. I knew I had to get away, I just had to be careful about it. The man didn’t read, so I hid the journal on a bookshelf in my apartment. He didn’t let me spend much time there, but when I was there, I would take a few extra minutes to write in the journal,” Emily said matter of fact.
Rider picked up some of the photos that were being passed around the table, his hazel eyes narrowing with disgust at the sight of her bruised and swollen flesh.
No one said anything for a long while, but Emily could feel the roiling emotions bathing the entire room.
“Em, you should have told me,” Scarlett said softly.
She was holding one of Emily’s least favorite photos, because it was from the night he’d almost killed her. The agonized expression on her face in the photo told a story even Emily couldn’t open her mouth to share, but the saying that came to mind was a picture is worth a thousand words.
“I should have told you, yes, but I didn’t and I’m sorry. I couldn’t. I have a hard time thinking about it myself, but if it’s going to cause trouble for the club…I don’t want that. I’ll walk.”
Rider pulled away from her like she’d hit him, but she ignored his expression. She only had eyes for Ox.
“You think you’re the first woman to stumble onto this lot with demons on your tail? Every woman in the room came here with baggage, Em. I told ya I’d claim ya as mine, and I meant it. We ain’t turning our backs on you now. This shit ain’t your fault, but I am gonna need you to get better at communicating, and fast. Okay?,” Ox asked gently.
Emily nodded, her eyes finally filling with the tears she’d been dreading since she walked into the room. She flinched when the sound of knuckles meeting wood met her ears and she blinked in surprise when she saw Green slamming another photo back down onto the table.
“One more thing I wanna know, Em. He said… you’re his old lady. That you’ve got his mark on you. Do you?,” Limit asked.
Emily grimaced and nodded.
“I did. Prettyboy tattooed over it.”
Prettyboy looked at her questioningly and she lifted her hair and pointed to the back of her neck where a bloody sparrow was tattooed.
“The initials I had you cover up,” She explained.
“You didn’t think that was something we oughta know? You put yourself, Scarlett, all of us in danger keepin’ that a secret!,” Green said angrily.
Emily winced at his words, but she couldn’t deny that he was right in some respect.
“He wasn’t supposed to be out yet. They didn’t even notify me!”
Green slid the photos back to her, his mouth lifted in a snarl.
“Bullshit! You should have told me you were someone else’s old lady!”
Emily stood, her palms slapping the same side of the table Green was leaning against.
“But, I wasn’t yours.”
Green’s mouth clamped shut in an angry line and Ox cleared his throat and pointed to the women.
“Take her out of here while we figure out what to do. No one goes in or out of here without an escort.”
Everyone nodded apart from Emily who was still trying to figure out why in the fuck Green thought he had any say in who should or shouldn’t be angry.
“Come on, Em. Let’s go,” Scarlett said.
She held out an arm and Emily reached for her, but Rider stopped her.
“You better go out there and get something to eat, okay? Take it easy and try to relax.”
Emily kissed the corner of his mouth and nodded, her dark eyes following the expression on her best friend’s face as her and Esme tailed along beside her with Rayna at the rear.
“I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, Em. I’m so sorry,” Esme said.
Emily glanced at her friend and tried to smile, but it fell flat.
“It’s okay. I’m trying my hardest to move on.”
Rayna’s expression told Emily exactly what she thought of that.
“You keep frowning at my back like that Rayna Dixon, and you’re bound to get wrinkles.”
“I just don’t get why you didn’t even tell Green the truth.”
Emily sighed and rolled her eyes while she fought for patience, patience she knew she didn’t have, especially when it came to Killian.
The bar came into view and Emily practically dove for it, but instead of getting black out drunk like she wanted to do, she reached for a bottle of water instead.
“I know that Green is your best friend, but I’m glad I didn’t tell him the truth. I’m glad he didn’t know. It only would have hurt me that much more when he cheated on me. Being that you know what I’ve gone through, I expect you realize that your judgement of me, no matter how callous or hard, won’t make a damn difference to me at this point.”
The fiery look in Rayna’s softened the longer she watched Emily before she finally said, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Rayna nodded her head as she sat down at a small table and began rocking little Flora to sleep. Emily avoided everyone’s gaze for a minute, hoping that the pain would lessen even a fraction so that she could speak calmly.
It tingled, made her lungs burn, but Emily was used to it.
“I’m so sorry, Em. I should have realized something was wrong when you didn’t come home for the holidays. I should have at least checked on you. I just didn’t realize it was so serious,” Scarlett said roughly.
Her eyes were drowning in tears that Emily didn’t want.
“Don’t beat yourself up over it. I told you the bare minimum. You knew more than most. You knew enough to tell Esme that I’d been through something awful.”
Scarlett’s gaze lifted to hers instantly, a blush tainting her cheeks.
“Yeah, I heard you telling Esme I was in an abusive relationship that day. I know I told you he was verbally and emotionally abusive, but I didn’t see the point in going into gory detail about it. I only grazed the surface so that you would know, Scar. I didn’t want you to know the specifics. That journal in there can speak for me, because I honestly have never been able to find the words to say.”
Emily’s voice trembled and suddenly all the women in the room were tucked around her, hugging her closely.
“We’ve all been through something hard. We understand you,” Esme said softly.
Emily hugged them all close and let her shoulders relax for the first time since she’d arrived.
“Thank you for being supportive. Thank you for hearing me.”
Esme scoffed and tugged on Emily’s hair.
“Don’t thank us for being your friends, dummy. We don’t need it. We just want you to be better, to be happy, okay?”
Emily nodded, but for some reason, she didn’t think she’d find happy until something changed. Something vital, and true, and for the life of her she didn’t know what that was. She didn’t know what she needed. She had no idea what in the world she needed to get over the hump.
Everything she tried felt like a Band-Aid stuck to a gaping wound, and as the days passed, she only got weaker.
“I need get to some of my supplies from the studio, do you think someone could give me a ride?”
Emily heard someone clear his throat and Torch threw up two fingers.
“Sorry Elsa, I’ve been assigned to you as your personal bodyguard.”
“Okey-dokey, let’s get this over with.”
Torch led her outside to his bike and she shook her head.
“We need a car, Torch. I have to bring back a few supplies,” She said.
Torch nodded and reached into his pocket, pulling out a familiar set of keys.
“Ox is letting us take his car?,” She asked, obviously su
rprised.
“Had to promise I wouldn’t leave it behind in South Carolina, but I don’t think you need to go that far. Do you?”
Torch flashed her a rare smile and Emily choked out a laugh before she shook her head no.
“I don’t think that will be necessary.”
As they both climbed into Ox’s red mustang, Emily took a peek out the passenger side window. Her father wanted three finished paintings as soon as possible so Emily figured she’d get to work as soon as they got back, and that way she could take some time to herself as well.
“Thanks for doing this, Torch.”
“I’m just doin’ my part, darlin’.”
Emily frowned, her eyes arcing in his direction.
“Your part for what?”
Torch graced her with another smile, and Emily was doubly confused.
Torch didn’t smile, he rarely joked around, and for the longest time all her and him did was exchange insults between one another.
Torch settled one palm over the back of her hand and patted her gently.
“My part to thaw you out, Emily.”
My part to thaw you out.
Emily’s bottom lip trembled, but she didn’t say a word. It was obvious something in the entire clubhouse had shifted, and if she were being honest with herself, she felt relieved.
Chapter 9
Ox had given Emily her own space near the cage at the backside of the clubhouse. Emily had one large rectangular canvas propped up against the wall with a large tarp covering the pavement. She’d changed into a pair of jean shorts and tank top in an effort to combat the heat, and she had her IPod hooked up to a small pair of speakers that played her music over the sound of the guys working in the garage.
So far, she had swirls of blue, black, purple, and a vibrant red that strongly resembled blood. Her hands and elbows were dirty from some of the close details she’d been trying her best to recreate, but the end result would be worth it.
She knew it.
She had no idea what she was trying to paint yet, but eventually it would all come together.
Greed (Seven Deadlies MC Book 4) Page 6
