She didn’t get it. That wasn’t the point at all. I just couldn’t figure out how she could just give up on her riding like that. If I was her then I would have made the time, even if it meant riding in the middle of the night. I decided that eventually I was going to get Esther back in the saddle again.
CHAPTER SEVEN
It was kind of hard to pack for the clinic since I had no clothes. And I don’t mean that I was one of those people who stood in front of a full closet and moaned because they had nothing to wear. I mean that I literally had five articles of clothing that were suitable to wear on the back of a horse and three of them were falling apart at the seams. If Mickey really was going to be giving up riding then maybe she should do the decent thing and donate all her riding attire to me because without it, I was going to show up at the clinic looking like the trailer trash that Jess always said I was.
I flipped through the catalog that had come in the mail. Glossy pages filled with riders wearing the latest fashions. But how could breeches cost over a hundred dollars? They were only really leggings with knee patches and a zipper and since my mom picked up those at the grocery store for ten dollars, I didn’t quite see where the mark up came from. I suspected it had to do with the fact that riding was supposed to be an elite sport and it made the participants feel all rich and entitled. However that didn’t help out shoe string budget riders like me. I wondered how hard it would be to make a pair of breeches.
“Do you have any old breeches I could borrow?” I asked Esther the next day.
She looked from me to her, obviously thinking it was a ridiculous request since she was much taller than I was.
“My breeches would come up to your armpits,” she laughed.
“Then I can’t go to the clinic,” I said, throwing myself down on a bale of hay.
“What do you mean you can’t go to the clinic?” she said.
“This isn’t just a long weekend,” I said. “It’s a whole week. I only have three pairs of breeches and two of them have been patched together by my mother’s not so great sewing skills. I’ve been wearing my show breeches for lessons and now they have some mystery stains on them that I can’t get out and even if I could, I can’t wear them every day for a whole week. It’s hopeless.”
“Nothing is ever hopeless,” Esther laughed. “Did you forget that you have a sponsor now?”
“Yeah, for tack and stuff,” I said.
“Well what is the point of making sure you have the tack you need if you don’t even have the right clothes?” Esther said. “I think you’ll find that Taylor is there to make sure you have everything you need. Whatever that may be.”
“Really?” I said, feeling bad that I’d made fun of Taylor’s custom saddle pads that she had sort of forced on me. “I don’t know though. My mom takes a dim view on handouts.”
I remembered all the times she had dragged me to the thrift store for clothes and the looks that I got at school when I wore those same clothes. I didn’t exactly care about fashion but I did care about being laughed at. What if Taylor wanted me to wear breeches with a giant Tack Emporium logo on them?
“It’s not a handout,” Esther put her hand on my arm. “One day you’ll understand.”
I wasn’t sure I would ever understand why someone would want to give me free stuff for nothing in return. There had to be a catch. I just hadn’t figured out what it was yet.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“Well how badly do you want to get on the jumping team?” Esther shrugged. “You have two choices. One, go and talk to Taylor and get some nice new clothes that you can wear or two, don’t bother and go at all.”
I hated it when Esther was right.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“What size are you?” Taylor asked, handing another pair of breeches over the changing room door.
“That last pair fit okay,” I said, “I don’t know what size they were though.”
I wasn’t exactly tall but I was far from being one of those stick thin girls that everyone at school envied. I was what you would call athletic, with muscles in places other girls didn’t even know existed from riding six days a week. I used to wish I was one of those thin girls until I realized that without the benefit of any muscles whatsoever they would never be able to stick on the back of a galloping horse.
It had taken me a few days to come around but I finally admitted that without Taylor’s help, I wouldn’t be able to go to the clinic. My mom had already offered to buy me a new pair of breeches but one pair wasn’t exactly going to cut it when I really needed about five and since she was still pretty clueless as to how much horse stuff actually cost, I was sure that even the cheapest pair would be way out of her budget. Taylor just said that she wondered when I was going to come in and that she had been holding onto some breeches for me to try on anyway. It was like she knew what I needed before I even did.
“Please just give me the cheap ones,” I told her.
“If you’re representing my store, why on earth would I want to dress you in cheap stuff?” she asked.
And I guess she was right. By the time she was done I had five sets of breeches ranging in color from cream to a really nice sage green. Then there were matching polo shirts because Taylor had expressed a look of horror when I told her I would be wearing my old t-shirts. There were show shirts, a jacket and a leather belt with a brass hoof pick latch. It felt like Christmas. No, it felt better than Christmas. I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face but in the back of my mind was the worrying thought that if I didn’t make the jumping team then Taylor would want all her stuff back. Then again if I didn’t make the team, I wouldn’t need it anyway.
“Nice haul,” Jordan said.
Taylor’s son was working the cash register today. His t-shirt had the logo of a local band that everyone said was cool. But that was Jordan. He was cool without even trying. Just standing there in front of him, I felt kind of tongue tied.
“Thanks to your mom,” I said.
“Yeah,” he smiled. “She’s always had a thing for the underdog. Not that you’re a dog or that you’re under anybody. Oh heck, you know what I mean.”
His face had turned bright red. I guess I wasn’t the only one who got tongue tied after all.
“It’s okay,” I said. “I’m not too proud to admit that I don’t have all the fancy stuff the other girls have.”
“Now you do,” he said.
“True but nice clothes don’t actually make you a better rider,” I said.
“Spoken like a true horsewoman,” Taylor patted me on the back.
“They might not make you a better rider but they sure make you look like a better rider,” Jordan said. And he was right.
He put all the clothes in a giant bag and then picked a silver horse shoe bracelet off a tiny stand by the register.
“For luck,” he said, putting it in the bag.
“Thank you,” I said, having given up the notion of stopping them from trying to give me things.
“How is Mickey?” he asked, leaning on the counter as Taylor walked out of earshot.
“Okay, I guess,” I said. “But she won’t come out to the barn and she’s going to lose her horse if she doesn’t buck up soon.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I never meant for any of that to happen.”
“It’s not your fault,” I told him. “It was just a stupid accident.”
For a while I’d blamed Jordan for what happened to Mickey and I’d also blamed myself. She’d flirted with him to win me a saddle. He’d asked her to the beach because he thought she liked him. But Mickey was the one who made the decision to ride to the beach alone. She broke the rule that Esther had put in place to try and keep us all safe and at the end of the day, she was the only one who had to deal with the consequences of her actions.
“She’ll come around,” Jordan said. “Just give her some time.”
“I hope so,” I said.
At home I was hoping to slip in unnoticed but of course
Cat and Derek both had to be there in the living room, sitting at opposite ends of the couch and arguing over the remote.
“What have you got there?” he asked, frowning.
“Nothing,” I said.
My stepfather didn’t like it when people had things and he didn’t. Especially when they came home with giant bags full.
“Well where did you get the money to pay for all that stuff from?”
“Nowhere,” I said.
I wanted to run to my room but I knew that wouldn’t stop him from hounding me. It was what he did best and lately Cat had been on her best behavior which meant that I was back to being the black sheep of the family. Her hair was even back to an almost normal brown color. I liked it better when she was the one ticking him off. At least then he left me alone.
“She must have stolen them,” Cat chimed in.
“Stolen them?” I said. “How do you think I could have walked out of the door carrying this big bag of stuff and not be seen? It wouldn’t exactly fit down my shirt you know.”
But now Derek was getting suspicious. I could see the look in his eye. The shifty one he got when he thought someone was lying to him. The one he usually reserved for Cat. He stood up, the debate over the television long forgotten.
“Show me a receipt,” he said.
CHAPTER NINE
Of course I didn’t have a receipt but the clothes weren’t stolen. Still, I didn’t see how I was going to make Derek understand that. Mom wasn’t home. She knew about the sponsorship but she wasn’t there to defend me. I was going to have to do this myself.
“I don’t have a receipt,” I said.
“Ha!” Cat shrieked. “See? I knew it. She stole them.”
“Did you steal them girl?” Derek said.
He was coming towards me, arms crossed and face angry. I’d never seen him actually hit Cat but did throwing things at her count? Would he throw something at my head too or do something else instead. I’d never been scared of anyone before but I was scared of him.
“No,” I said. “I have a sponsorship for my riding. Taylor at the tack store is helping me out.”
“Why would she help out someone like you?” he said.
I could tell he didn’t believe me and why would he? I hardly believed it myself. The fact that someone wanted to help me and give me free stuff still seemed weird and not right but it was the truth.
“Because she believes in me,” I said.
“You are such a liar,” Cat said.
She was hanging over the back of the couch, her face filled with a sick kind of joy. I knew she was going to milk this for all it was worth because while Derek was busy hating me then he couldn’t hate her. But he wasn’t my father and I wasn’t going to let him control me.
“I am not,” I said calmly. “You can call the Tack Emporium if you like. Taylor will tell you that she gave me these clothes.”
“I’m not calling anyone,” Derek snapped. “Why should I make a fool out of myself?”
“You already are,” I replied.
He lunged forward to grab the bag but I was quicker than he was. I clutched it to my chest and ran up to my room. I could hear him behind me, thundering up the stairs like a big oaf but he was fat and old and no match for me. I slammed the door shut before he was even halfway up and clicked the lock shut.
I stood there, heart pounding in my chest and wondering what to do next. Should I push my dresser up against the door? Would he try and kick the door in anyway? I heard him try the handle.
“Open the door,” he said.
“No,” I replied.
“Open the door,” he shouted, banging his fists on it.
I thought about opening the window and shinnying down the drainpipe like the kids did in books only there wasn’t a drainpipe near my window and there was no fluffy bush to land in, only hard, unforgiving concrete. I fumbled in my pocket for my phone and called my mother.
The phone rang three times before going to voicemail. Instead of speaking, I held the phone up to the door where Derek was still banging and yelling at me to open it.
“Mom, come home,” I whispered into the phone.
I thought Derek might actually kick in the door but I guess he thought better of it considering he would be the one who would have to fix it. In the end he left and I sat on my bed, clutching the bag of clothes and waiting for my mother to come home.
I heard her car squeal up the driveway and the front door fly open but I wasn’t sure how long I’d been sitting there with my bag, feeling stupid and small. There were angry voices downstairs as Mom demanded to know what had been going on and Derek and Cat tried to assassinate my character. I hardly ever heard my mother yell, she had to be really mad to make her but she was yelling at them now, telling them that of course I didn’t steal anything and that yes, she knew that I had been sponsored by the local tack shop.
Derek didn’t seem to like that very much. For a while he even refused to believe Mom but I guess he eventually relented because after a while the yelling stopped. Then there was a gentle knock at the door.
“Emily? It’s Mom.”
I got up, letting the bag fall to the floor. When I opened the door she was standing there with a red face.
“Mom,” I whispered.
I collapsed into her arms, letting out the sobs I had been holding in. It had been so scary to have a grown man yelling at me like that and I hadn’t even done anything wrong. Never in my whole life had I heard my real father raise his voice. Not to me and my sister, not to my mom and never to a horse. He was a gentle, quiet man quite the opposite of the psycho who was now living in my house.
Mom held me tight and stroked my hair like she used to do when I was little and when the sobs had subsided, she pushed me gently back into my room and shut the door.
“I don’t want to live here with them anymore,” I gulped. “Please, can’t you make them leave?”
I didn’t know what she’d seen in Derek in the first place and I certainly didn’t know what she saw in him now. How could she love somebody like that?
“Derek is sorry that he didn’t believe you,” she said. “This won’t happen again. I promise.”
But I knew that it was an empty promise. She couldn’t stop him when she wasn’t there and I was starting to get the feeling that she was as trapped as I was.
“You have your clinic to concentrate on,” she said. “You’ll get on that jumper team, I just know you will. And when you get back, everything will be normal again. You’ll see.”
But we didn’t have anything normal in our house anymore and we wouldn’t ever again unless Derek and Cat left for good.
CHAPTER TEN
I kept to myself until it was time to leave, eating in my room and spending as much time as I could at the barn. No one at home seemed to care and Esther had to literally kick me out when it got dark every night. It wasn’t much of a life but on the other hand, Bluebird loved all the extra attention. I’d almost forgotten that we jumped four feet and had been concentrating on stuff that would make us a better team like making sure he was in front of my leg and working on the bit. Esther was pleased with our progress. And I was pleased to have something to throw myself into and everything was going great until I got a phone call from Mickey.
I looked down at my ringing phone, the photo of her face making that goofy smile with her tongue sticking out, flashing up at me. To say that I’d forgotten about her would be a lie but she sure had been pushed to the back of my mind. The vet was coming to do the pre-lese exam for Hampton on the Monday I was supposed to leave for Black Gate and by the time I got back, he would be gone. I clung to the hope that maybe she had come to her senses and changed her mind.
“Hello?” I said.
“You know it’s me,” she replied.
She didn’t seem very happy. In fact she sounded mad.
“I want my stuff back,” she said.
“What stuff?” I said.
“What stuff do you think? My stuff. I
want all of it back.”
I thought that this must be what it was like to break up with a boy. Things shared in fun moments now bargaining chips to be returned like a defective electronic. It was just as well that I had the new clothes after all, although I wasn’t exactly sure what Mickey was going to do with the old pairs of breeches that I had worn so thin there were holes in them.
“Well I want my stuff back too,” I said before hanging up.
The only problem was that I couldn’t think of anything that I’d given her. It wasn’t that I hadn’t wanted to. It was rather that I didn’t have much to give. In fact I couldn’t ever remember lending her anything. I felt bad about that. I knew Mom would say that I had leant my support in other ways, emotionally and all that stuff but it didn’t stop me from feeling like I’d been a bad friend.
I pulled a cardboard box out of the closet and tossed things into it. The breeches, the show jacket, the old horse book with the funny pictures in it. They all went into the box along with the ribbons I’d won at the last show on Hampton. Mickey had still been in her coma. I hadn’t wanted to ride him but Esther made me. We came in third. At the time I’d told myself that Mickey would have won the class but now I liked to think that she wouldn’t have placed at all.
I scribbled a note and stuck it to the yellow satin. ‘Hampton won these, not that you care.’ Then I packed my suitcase full of all the new clothes that Taylor had given me. Luckily I’d outgrown Mickey’s boots and was now wearing Esther’s old ones so I tossed them into the box as well. What she was going to do with boots she didn’t even fit in anymore I didn’t know but I didn’t even care. She could have her stuff back. I didn’t need it anymore. I had my own stuff now.
I taped the box shut and asked Mom to drop it off at Mickey’s house while I was gone. Then I went to the barn to say goodbye to Bluebird.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” I told him as he inhaled the carrots I’d brought. “A whole week without me. What are you going to do?”
Last Chance (Show Jumping Dreams ~ Book 6) Page 3
