by JA Huss
Contents
TAUT
Book Description
Prologue - New Year's Eve
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Five
BOMB - A Day in the Life of Spencer Shrike - Chapter One
End of Book Shit
TAUT
The Ford Book
(Rook and Ronin Spin-off)
By J. A. Huss
Find me at
New Adult Addiction
www.jahuss.com
Edited by RJ Locksley
Cover design by J. A. Huss
Copyright © 2014 by J. A. Huss
All rights reserved.
ISBN-13: 978-1-936413-32-4
Other books by J.A. Huss
Science Fiction Series
Clutch
Fledge
Flight
Range
The Magpie Bridge
Return
Rook and Ronin books
TRAGIC
MANIC
PANIC
SLACK
Standalone Novels
Losing Francesca
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Book Description
Ford Aston is known for many things. Being an emotionless, messed up bastard, a freakishly smart social outcast, and a cold, domineering master who keeps "pets" instead of girlfriends.
And after Rook broke his heart, he plans to keep it that way.
Ashleigh is known for nothing, and that's exactly what she's got going for her. She's broke, stranded in the mountains with a three month old baby, and Ford Aston is screwing with her head.
Big. Time.
And she plans to mess with his right back.
It's a coy game at first, filled with flirting, and innuendo--but Ford soon realizes something is not quite right with Ashleigh. In fact, something is seriously, seriously wrong and the closer they get to their final destination, the closer Ford gets to the truth.
One night of devastation, self-loathing, and emptiness turns into the best thing that ever happened to Ford Aston. But one day of in-your-face reality threatens Ashleigh's whole existence.
Prologue - New Year's Eve
The Chaput New Year’s Eve party is famous in Denver. I’m not a party person and for me New Year’s Eve is a time to be alone, so I’ve only ever been once besides this year. I wouldn’t even be here tonight if we weren’t filming for the season finale of Shrike Bikes, but Rook disappeared almost the entire month of December with Ronin. First the GIDGET runway show in LA, then a week in Cancun, then Christmas.
So, here I am, trying to pin her ass down and get this over with.
I’d rather be anywhere but here. I’d rather talk to anyone but her.
The entire studio has been cleared of equipment and replaced with tables and a dance floor. The band is playing, the lighting is moody and atmospheric, and there are almost three hundred people here all dressed in black. I’ve finished the exit interviews for everyone except Rook, but she’s conveniently made herself scarce.
A waitress walks by with a tray and I tap her on the shoulder as she passes. “Have you seen Miss Corvus?” I ask politely. I creep her out, I can tell, because she immediately pulls away from me and then points wordlessly over the crowd to Antoine’s office.
She’s gone before I can thank her.
It’s quite difficult to be polite and when I’m handed rudeness in return, it makes me want to morph back into the old me.
I drop that thought as I make my way through the throngs of people and spy Rook standing just inside the door with Veronica. They are thick as thieves these days. If I were Spencer I’d watch out. They will be into trouble soon, if they’re not already.
Ronnie is wearing a short black dress with very high heels. Her look says she takes her fun seriously.
Rook, on the other hand, is dressed like a dark princess. Her dress is not a dress. It’s a gown. A long midnight-blue gown that breaks the black only rule, but no one cares because she is stunning. The dress has a tight strapless bodice and elaborate skirts that touch the ground. Her hair is flowing down her back in long waves and atop her head is a shiny blue cardboard tiara.
Just as she turns and spies me, the light catches the blue of her eyes and her crown at the same time. It’s like a flashbulb and my mind takes a picture.
“Rook,” I say loudly and with a smile. She winces and it’s official. She’s been avoiding me. “It’s your turn, let’s go.” Veronica pats her on the shoulder like she needs her sympathy and that makes me angry. But I strike through that emotion and beckon my friend with a finger.
“Ford,” she starts. “I’m not in the mood. I’m tired of talking. I’m sorta drunk. I’m not ready for this. I’m—”
She goes on and on like that but she follows like a good girl and I just tune it out. We exit the studio and walk down the hallway to the room where I’ve set up the camera. When I wave her through the doorway she’s still talking about waiting guests and Ronin missing her if she stays too long.
I nod. Yes, yes, yes, I get it, that nod says. I motion for her to sit. She sits. She always does as she’s told when I’m the one asking.
It should make me feel good, that I have this control over her. But it doesn’t.
I sit across from her and sigh.
And it’s only then that she notices. I’m surprised it took her so long, her skills at reading body language are astute.
“What?” she asks. “What’s going on? Did something happen?”
“I’m not going to tape an exit interview of you, Rook. We have so much footage of you from the news, there’s no need.”
She smiles and the knife slips in. She gathers her dress in her fingertips and rises out of the chair. “Good, then I’m not needed here and I’ll just be going,” she says, twisting the knife just a little.
“I’m leaving,” I say quickly.
“What?” she asks, halting her fleeing feet mid-stride. “But it’s not midnight yet.”
“I just want you to know I did it all for you,” I say, ignoring her statement. “And I’d do it again if that’s what makes you happy. I only ever wanted what’s best for you.”
Her whole body softens at my wo
rds. “Ford…”
“And I understand why you wanted to stay in community college and finish your general ed classes and not transfer into Boulder just yet. Online classes are better. The weirdoes and haters are thinning, but they’re still out there, so that keeps you safe. I’m proud of you, I want you to know that. Whatever makes you happy makes me happy.”
She sits back down, rests her elbows on her knees and props her chin up in her hands. Surely she knew this would have to end eventually.
“If it were anyone else, anyone but you who wanted me to give them so much for so little in return, I would’ve walked away and never looked back a long time ago. But you make it so, so difficult to turn away. And I couldn’t let the sadness and pain touch you. It drives me mad when you’re unhappy. I lie awake at night wishing I could bring Jon back to life and torture him myself. I wanted to kill that Abelli asshole for even entertaining the thought of selling you. I want to pull you into my chest right now and keep you for myself. Because, Rook, I just want you.” I stop to study the shock on her face for a moment before continuing.
“I. Fucking. Want. You,” I say, my voice a deep rumble in my throat. “If I’d found you first instead of Ronin, you’d be mine right now. And I’d never let you go. I know what you think of me, of the girls I have, of my”—I look away for a fraction of a second, then drag my heated stare back to her slumped shoulders and sad face—“idiosyncrasies. But I am nothing like Jon. I have never been anything like those men on that list.”
“I know that, Ford,” she says softly as she reaches out to touch my arm.
“Don’t.” I pull away before she makes contact with my suit coat. “You cannot touch me. If you touch me…” I shake my head, unable to continue.
“If I touch you what?” she asks with an air of challenge.
My own mother hasn’t even touched me as many times as Rook has, so this probably does deserve an explanation. “If you touch me I’ll touch you back. I’ll cup your face and kiss your mouth. I’ll hold you close and make you choose me.” I stop and swallow hard and then lean into her space and whisper, “I’ll ruin everything if you touch me. I’ll ruin us. I’ll ruin this. I’ll ruin you, just like you said. I’ll ruin you and I’ll ruin your life. And I love you too much to ruin you. So I’m leaving.”
Her shoulders slump a little more. “I don’t want you to leave, Ford. I’m not sure life without you is possible.”
“And I’m not sure life with you is possible. I can’t watch you with him, Rook. I’m seething with jealousy. It infuriates me that time and time again he gets what he wants. Ronin pulls love towards him like he’s gravity.” I stop to laugh. “He only has to ask and love appears in his life. And me? I beg for it. I want love more than anything, yet everyone thinks I’m insufferable.” I kneel down in front of her and shake my head. “Everyone but you, Rook. You are the only person on this entire Earth I care about. And you belong to someone else. And if it were anyone but him I’d just take you and say fuck the consequences. But you chose one of two people who will stand by me no matter what I do. And even though these days I count Ronin as a friend, and I would never betray him, I’m so fucking jealous. His life since Antoine has been one long string of lucky breaks. And every day I ask myself, why? Why does he get you? Why does he deserve this luck and I’m always left with nothing?”
I shrug and stand up and her eyes follow me, making her head tilt.
It takes every ounce of willpower not to slip my hand across the milky white skin on her throat, grasp the back of her neck, pull her towards me, and claim her mouth. “This isn’t even me talking right now. I don’t feel these things, Rook. Ever. When did I become capable of jealousy?” I huff out some air. “Well, it’s not really a mystery. It was the day I met you, that’s when. You’ve changed me, Rook. You make me weak, you make me stumble, you make me fall, and even though I know you’ll pick me up if I ask you to, it’s not enough. I want you to make me stronger, just like I made you. I want it all or I want nothing. And since I can’t have it all, I’ll take nothing.”
She stares up at me in silence, the shock of my words displayed on her face.
I can’t stand to see the hurt in her eyes. I can’t stand to see her fear and sadness as the realization of what’s happening finally sinks in.
So I do what I have to do. I make it worse.
So she’s left with no more doubts about what kind of man I am. So she will release her hold on me. So she will stop looking at me like she cares.
So I can let go and move on.
I turn away.
I walk out.
And I never look back.
Chapter One
Click. Click. Click.
That’s my shoes on the stone steps in the Chaput Building. I listen for a call. Or maybe even an echo, telling me that another pair of shoes are behind me.
But I get nothing. Not even sounds from the New Year’s Eve party up on the fourth floor leak out. Just nothing. My steps are quick when I begin, but now that I’m nearing the door to the basement they are slow. I finish my escape more confused than I’ve ever been in my life.
I told her.
I want her.
But she belongs to Ronin.
You will not look back, you will not look back.
That’s what I tell myself the entire way down. But of course, when I’m a few paces from the garage door, I do look up. All the way up to the fourth floor where that dark princess is leaning over the railing, her hair spilling over and shrouding her face in a blue shadow that must be a reflection of her dress or a play of the light.
“Ford,” she whispers.
It’s so soft it stops me cold and I just stare at her. She is the most tragically beautiful creature on this entire planet. And even though I know it’s impossible to see her blue eyes in this hazy darkness and from such a distance, I see them.
“Rook,” I whisper back. “I can’t.”
I turn away and this time she yells, “Ford!”
I force myself to keep walking.
“Ford! Wait!” Her feet are flying down the stairs now, so I push through the door and walk quickly to the Bronco. The air is frigid. Steam blasts from my mouth as I breathe heavy, a cloud of evidence that betrays my rapidly beating heart and announces my agitation to the world. I walk to the far end of the parking garage and I’m shoving my key in the truck lock when she bursts through the door.
I climb in and start the engine. I haven’t been here that long, it’s only nine o’clock, so there’s no protest—it turns over immediately. Rook lifts her long skirts, her feet scurrying underneath as she frantically tries to catch me.
I wait. Because I’m weak. She makes me so fucking weak. I am nothing. I am a mess.
She knocks on the window. “Please, Ford,” she begs from the other side. “Pleases stop for a moment. Please, talk to me, please.”
I shake my head no, but she pulls on the door handle and opens the door. “No. No, no, no. You’re not leaving like this, Ford. No.”
I can’t say anything.
I have so much to say, but I cannot say anything. Because if I talk to her, if I utter her name, I will break and I will take her, right here in her boyfriend’s parking garage. I’ll pick her up, slide my hands up her thighs as I lift her skirts, crash her against the cinder block wall, and fuck the shit out of her.
“Ford, please. Talk to me. Please.”
I push in the clutch and ease it into first.
“Please, Ford. Just tell me where you’re going, OK? Just don’t leave me like this.”
I ease up off the clutch and roll forward. She walks alongside, still holding the door open.
“Goddammit! Talk to me, please!”
I grab the door and try to close it but she reaches in and tries to take my keys. “No,” she says in a huff. I press on the brakes and grab her wrist, squeezing it until she squeals. “You won’t hurt me, I know you won’t hurt me.”
I squeeze tighter and she whimpers.
�
�I will hurt you, Rook,” I say evenly as I stare into her soul. “I’m hurting you right now. And it feels good. Because you’ve been hurting me since the day we met. You’re selfish. You take. That’s all you do—take. You’re a Taker, Rook. And I’ve got nothing left to give you. You took it all.”
Her jaw drops as she processes my words.
I told her. I warned her.
She yanks her wrist free and steps back, shaking her head. “You’re saying that on purpose. To make me go away. And fine. Leave, then. You Runner. You’re a Runner, Ford. Who’s running away now? Huh?”
I slam the door closed and she pounds on the window. I roll forward, looking out my window to make sure not to run over her feet. I tune out her pleas and press down on the accelerator, shift into second, and then blow past the parking attendants standing guard at the exit. I turn left onto Blake Street until I hit 19th, then take that all the way down to Broadway. I fully intend to go home, but when my building appears a few blocks later, I just keep driving past.
The streets have been cleared of yesterday’s snow but another storm has already arrived. The flakes are small and scattered now, but soon they will blanket the entire Front Range in white. I have a flight out to LA tomorrow afternoon but suddenly the thought of going home to my high-rise condo, with the massive four-bedroom, three-thousand-square-foot floor plan—empty save for me and all the impersonal things that came with it when the Biker Channel people rented it—it just… I just…
Can’t.
I can’t do it. I can’t live like this for another second. I can’t pretend like this is working for me. I’m…
My phone buzzes in my pants. I turn right on Colfax and check the incoming call. Ronin.
“Yes.”
“Ford, what the hell is going on? Rook is hysterical. She said you’re leaving or something.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I should’ve explained better, I suppose. I have a flight to LA, a new show. That series I told you about a few months ago. I got the call, so I’m going.”
Silence. He knows I’m lying—not about the show, I did get that show. And it’s an HBO candidate, so I’d be a fool to pass it up. But I think everyone knows that what Rook and I have, our friendship, is not all that’s going on. And really, what’s Ronin going to say? ‘My girlfriend sorta loves you, but she never wants to be with you, so she knows this is your way of leaving her behind and moving on and I think you should come back and continue this… thing you two have to make her happy?’
