"He told me about his past," Blackthorn said. "He wasn't always a wanderer. I think when people like him stay on the move for long enough they never find a reason to settle down unless someone gives them one."
"The pack wouldn't have accepted him."
"Were you listening to the others just now? He's already got people who're sad to see him go. You've changed things, April. I know all you deal with these days is complaints and problems from dusk till dawn, but if you see past that, if you look at our pack as a whole," he smiled at her, his expression full of pride, "you'll see how different they are now. If you listen to the old folk talk around the fire at night, they're telling stories about Harriet again. People aren't afraid to speak up against their mates. They want to go places by themselves, do their own things. I'd never have guessed a group of werewolves could be this way a month ago."
April swallowed. Maybe he was right. Perhaps her pack was starting to change.
Still, she didn't dare to hope.
"I thought you liked the way things used to be," she said.
"I did. And I won't lie, I trusted you more than I was comfortable with when we started this thing together. But I've seen how people are now. Even with all the problems, they're happier. Everyone except you."
Fear was a heavy chain binding her heart. Once again she felt like a child being scolded by Blackthorn. It was a childishness she'd been fighting to distance herself from ever since Harper died. Why was she suddenly starting to feel even worse? She'd kept her feelings in check for weeks. She'd thought she'd let go of Cyan.
With a long exhalation of breath, she realised that one simple childish impulse had been guiding her decisions the whole time, and in her haste to overcome it she had never once stopped to ponder its legitimacy.
It had been easy to be angry at Cyan when she'd heard about him and Lisa. It had even been easy to understand, and then forgive him for it. But had she ever once asked him directly whether any of it had been true? Like a naive young woman tasting betrayal for the first time, she'd let it linger in her heart like a shard of black ice, small and dim, but always there, and always painful. Always a reminder of her doubt.
She'd rationalised it to herself in a dozen different ways, but in truth even Cyan's stories about his past hadn't shaken her in the same deeply personal way. She felt like a child now because that was exactly what she was; a silly, naive girl who had allowed doubt to take root where it didn't belong.
Despite everything she had been through, all she had accomplished and how deeply she had changed, April realised that, for all her trials and tribulations, she was still very young.
"Letting him go would still be better for the pack," she whispered.
"You're part of the pack too, April. And yes, there are some sacrifices a leader should be willing to make for her people. But there are some she shouldn't."
She looked at Blackthorn as he reached up to brush the tears from her cheek with a gloved thumb. He had changed, too.
"I never thought you'd be the one to convince me," she said.
He smiled at her. "I just want you to be happy. Harper would, too."
The chain binding April's heart cracked, and the chink of hope that slipped through was so wonderful and so frightening that it made her giddy. "Thank you," she said breathlessly, and kissed his cheek.
Her shaking legs stumbled to catch up with her as she sprang to her feet and hurried back down the ridge, kicking up flurries of snow as she tripped over herself in her haste. Her heart was thrumming like the strings of an instrument, her tears still flowing freely, though no longer from despair.
The others were waiting at the bottom of the slope for her, but she didn't even pause to answer their concerned questions as she dashed by. A smile flashed across her lips, and when she caught Elthy's eye for an instant the old woman seemed to understand. She called something after her, reassuring words that spurred April on, lending an energy to her steps that she'd never before felt, not even in her most dire of moments. She felt like she could run forever.
Cyan was gone, but she didn't need her wolf's nose to track him. His heavy footsteps were tracked deep in the snow, the sun casting small shadows from the brim of every imprint to paint a clear trail down the shining mountain slope.
She ran so hard her legs went numb, but she didn't care. Once upon a time she had been a girl who dreamed of something wild and free beyond the weight of her responsibilities. At long last, she was finally running towards it.
EPILOGUE
She didn't need to call to him. He heard her coming and turned to meet her. She wouldn't have had the breath to yell even if she tried.
Cyan eased the pack off his shoulder, walking towards April slowly, still unsure, not quite daring to believe. She threw herself into his arms, clutching his neck breathlessly as she collapsed against him, smiling and laughing and crying all at the same time. He closed his eyed and sighed, drawing her close, squeezing her so tight he crushed the air from her lungs. She'd come back to him.
April didn't mind. She could barely breathe already, and in that moment she valued his closeness more than anything. She buried her face in his chest, letting him become the island he'd been for her the night they'd spent together in the cave. He could blot out her world, but more than that, he could be her refuge from it. She didn't have to choose one over the other. It wasn't worth living in doubt and fear. The feelings she had once crushed bloomed back to life in her chest like an unfurling tapestry, promising things that brought tears of joy to her eyes and wordless titters of excitement to her lips.
What Cyan felt in that moment was quite different, though no less powerful. He held April in his arms, breathing in the scent of her hair as he kissed the top of her head, letting her pour out her emotions without speaking. As he filled her with elation about the future, she took him back to a time in the past. The weight he'd carried on his shoulders for years began to ease. As he lost himself in her, everything that had come to define him since becoming a werewolf drifted away. He remembered a young man ready to start out his life, free of anger and guilt, and he welcomed the memory back with open arms. Hope wasn't what he longed for, just a fresh start. All he wanted was to wipe the slate clean and try again. For April, he wouldn't repeat the same mistakes twice.
They embraced each other until Cyan's arms ached from holding her up. Finally, he set her down on her own two feet and moved back a few inches so that he could look at her.
"What changed your mind?" he said.
"Blackthorn. But he only made me realise I had to stop being scared."
He leaned down and kissed her. Her lips were warm bliss. "I'll never do anything you have to be scared of. I promise."
She smiled at him, her fingertips brushing over his rough stubble. "I don't know how I made myself think you could. I spent so much time worrying I forgot about everything else you did for me."
"What about your pack?"
April laughed and shook her head. "I don't care. They can have anything else they want from me. I'll spend every day for the rest of my life making sure they're happy if I have to, but I won't let them tell me who I can come home to at the end of it." She tugged at his collar. "And they won't just be my pack. They'll be yours too, if you let them."
"That might take a while."
"I can wait." She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his chin. "If you'd gone, I think I would've been waiting forever."
He tightened his arms around her, and she clung on just as tight. Neither of them wanted to let go first. They would have held each other for hours.
"It was really Blackthorn who persuaded you?" Cyan said, with a hint of amusement in his voice.
"I told you right from the start he wouldn't be so bad if you got to know him."
"Back then you said you wanted to hear all the stories I had to tell, too."
April recalled her excitement that day Cyan had first shown up at the camp. She'd wanted so much to hear tales from the forest packs. Instead, s
he'd ended up learning things about him that were far different from the stories she'd expected.
She kissed his cheek. "I want to hear all of them. And one day, I want to go and see all the places you tell me about for myself." The thought frightened her even as she gave voice to it, but she wouldn't deny the excitement it also stirred in her. She wanted to do all the things she'd once been afraid of. With Cyan, she could.
"Some of the forest packs might not remember me fondly," he said.
"Then maybe it's time you looked back and made amends?"
The creases in Cyan's brow softened, and as he looked at April he began to share her optimism. "Maybe one day."
She nodded. "One day."
They held each other for a long time, but despite the cold breeze neither felt like moving. They sat together beside Cyan's pack and shared the honey treats April had baked for him together, talking a little, but mostly savouring the comfort of being close to someone they loved. Even without words, they could have enjoyed any amount of time spent together just knowing that the other was there.
If anyone had grown curious and followed them, they didn't intrude. The sun was high by the time April finally got to her feet and helped Cyan up.
She smiled at him as she squeezed his hand. "Come on, let's go home."
He smiled back. For the first time in years, he felt like he had somewhere to go.
As they tracked their twin trails of footsteps back up the mountain Cyan realised that he hadn't gone hunting in weeks. Wounds could leave scars, but scars could stop hurting. At some point, they simply became part of who you were.
With April's hand in his, that part of him had mended.
The End
# # #
Broken Moon has concluded, but there is more of Cyan's story left to discover.
Explore his darker side in Wild Instincts, an erotic romance serial by Claudia King following the life of Lyssa; the first object of Cyan's obsession that drove him to lose everything.
Every werewolf has an instinct. Lyssa's is to submit.
While the human part of Lyssa rebels against the iron fist of her domineering alpha, the wolf in her is unable to resist his every advance. Caught between the primal draw of her instincts and her desire for independence, she finds comfort in the company of Hawthorne, another wolf living on the outskirts of the pack hierarchy. But as Lyssa's attraction to Hawthorne grows, she begins to realise that the male wolf's instinct may prove to be far more dangerous than her own.
The alpha is watching them, and Lyssa must learn to control her animal nature, or be consumed by it.
# # #
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Claudia King is a writer based in the United Kingdom, she studied Creative Arts at university and continues to maintain a passionate interest in storytelling (both erotic and non-erotic!) across many forms of media. She owns a banana plant.
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Broken Moon: Part 5 Page 10
