by Becky Lower
“I am not saying I have seen her. But it is possible she headed in that direction. I will help you track her if it is something you want to do. But we must deliver the horses to their final destination first, and then we must go home. Afterwards, if you still want to find her, I will help you.”
“I need to know she’s safe.” Valerian collapsed in his chair, his hands shaking. “I need to see her, even if she wants nothing to do with me. Thank you for offering to help me. I won’t rest until I see her and talk to her again.”
“How do you feel about her, now that you know she is a woman?”
Valerian raised his eyes. “I love her, Joseph. And, even if she doesn’t return my feelings, I have something to give to her that will make her future life easier.”
“We will get these horses delivered and get home to St. Louis within the week. Then we will see if I can help you fulfill your destiny.”
• • •
He had never been so antsy. It seemed to take forever to deliver two or three horses to each of the relay stations between St. Joseph and Seneca. At last, the final horses were delivered, and Valerian, Joseph, and his brothers were on the train back to St. Louis.
After being reassured that his brother-in-law would offer his assistance, Valerian could get no more information from Joseph on where they should concentrate their search. When he pressed, Joseph would only mutter inendaagozi and turn away.
When they arrived at the railroad station in St. Louis, Ginger was waiting with a wagon. Her two children squealed when they caught sight of their father. Ginger embraced her husband and kissed him soundly before she turned her attention to Valerian.
“Val, I’m surprised to see you. Did you take a leave of absence from the Pony Express?” She kissed his cheek and brushed the hair from his eyes. “You’ve grown a bit, I see.”
“Yes, I have added a few inches since I was here last. And as for the Pony Express, I’ve taken a permanent leave, I guess. I have to find someone first, and then I think I’ll strike out on my own, set up my own place.”
Valerian caught the quick eye contact between Ginger and Joseph, and was aware volumes had been spoken without saying a word. He envied his sister and the love vibrating between her and Joseph even after nearly five years of marriage.
“Well, whatever the reason, welcome back to St. Louis, Val. I missed you.”
He picked up young Samuel, a squirming bundle of a little boy. “And did you miss your Uncle Val, too?”
“Yeth.” Samuel threw his arms around Val’s neck and gave him a sloppy kiss.
“I’ll bet you men are hungry. Why don’t we stop at the roadhouse on our way back home?” Ginger’s smile grew wide as she presented her idea to the group of men, who quickly piled into the wagon. Joseph picked up the reins, and they were on their way.
The dirt lane leading away from town had never been a more welcome sight to Valerian. Even though the ranch was definitely Lafontaine property, Valerian had lived here for nearly a year, and it was the closest thing to his home, too. He breathed deeply for the first time since Samantha had taken off. Joseph would help him find her, and whether or not she wanted anything further to do with him, Valerian would be able to give her peace.
The roadhouse came into sight after several miles, and Joseph stopped the wagon out front. He turned to Val.
“Could you unhitch the horses and take them to the barn, Val? We will be at least an hour here, having dinner, and the horses should be able to eat, as well.”
“Sure, Joseph. Happy to help.” He’d do anything Joseph asked of him, now that Joseph had offered his assistance in finding Samantha. And then, if she were in love with him, he’d be indebted to Joseph for the rest of his life. He did not want to think about what could happen if she wanted nothing more from him. He could not think of anything else except seeing her again.
Leading the two horses, Val opened the barn door and let himself in. The cold November air permeated the barn somewhat, and the light was muted. The comforting sounds of horses’ hooves moving in the straw, their gentle chomping on the grain, and their nickers as they talked to one another put Valerian at ease. He led the horses into an open stall, removed their bridles, found some grain for each of them, and then moved into the main aisle of the barn. He spied someone grooming one of the horses in an enclosed stall and wanted to let him know to whom the new horses belonged.
All he could see was the back of the person from the shoulders up, but he spied a head of fairly long dark brown hair as the groomer worked beside the horse.
“Hey,” Valerian said in a low voice, not wanting to startle either man or horse.
The head whipped around at the sound, and Valerian’s world began to spin out of control. It was no man grooming the horse. He stared into Samantha’s brown eyes. Eyes that were filling with tears.
“Samantha!” Valerian gripped the ledge of the half door of the stall in order to keep upright. His knees had just buckled.
Chapter 28
Samantha didn’t need to see the man behind her to know who had just walked into the barn. His voice had haunted her for months. The man she loved but didn’t want to put into danger. She thought she had obtained the promise from Joseph and Ginger to not tell Valerian where she was. The tears filling her eyes were not those of happiness. They were tears of frustration. No, more than frustration. She was angry at the fact blood ran thicker than a promise to an outsider. Once again she was on her own. And she’d waited too long to leave this sanctuary.
“What are you doing here?” she hissed at him. Her words whipped him back into the aisle, so she turned and went to the door. Her hands were bunched as they rested on the ledge.
Valerian gave her a tentative, wary smile. “I think I’m the one who should be asking you the question. How did you manage to find my family? I never told you where they were.”
Samantha scrubbed the tears from her cheeks in an angry motion. “I begged Joseph not to say anything to you. Not to tell you where I was. I guess an Indian’s word is no better than a white man’s. You’re not safe with me, Val. Nor is any of your family. I don’t want your blood on my hands when Uncle Jack finds me. Wasn’t one brush with him enough for you?”
“Joseph didn’t tell me where you were, Samantha. He remained true to his promise if he gave it to you. Joseph would never go back on his word. But he did insist that I be the one to bring the horses in here while we stopped for dinner. You are an unexpected, and beautiful, sight.”
“A sight you shouldn’t have to see, Val. It’s too dangerous. In fact, I am about to move on so I don’t endanger you, or any of your family.”
“I haven’t been able to sleep well since you left without telling me where you were headed. How could you have gone and not told me where to search for you? We should have come up with a plan together. After what we had shared, did you not think I’d want to find you? To have a future with you?”
Her tears began again. “I didn’t know what to do or where I was going to end up. I just followed my gut instinct and ran as far and as fast as Jack’s horse would take me. Don’t you understand? I had to leave you behind because the thought of you putting yourself in harm’s way to save me was too much for me to deal with. It was a lucky accident that led me here.”
Valerian moved back to the door of the stall. He reached across the wooden door and stroked Samantha’s cheek, wiping away her tears. “It was no lucky accident, Samantha. It was inendaagozi. We have been destined to be together since the very first day. When you reached up and settled my horse, you also settled my life. The Pony Express hasn’t been the same without you there in Seneca, waiting for me after every ride.”
Samantha blinked at the contact from Valerian. For one short moment, she let herself go and turned her cheek into his hand. Fresh tears began to trickle down her cheeks, dampening his fingers. “Destiny or not, I can’t ask you to risk your life for me. It would be better if you leave me alone. I didn’t want you to know where I was headed, so y
ou wouldn’t have to lie to Gus any more than you already were. But another reason I couldn’t tell you anything is because you’re not safe with me. Please, Val. Tell me you understand.”
He removed his hand from her face and inhaled a deep breath. She could tell from his reaction she’d cut him deeply. But it couldn’t be helped. If she saved his life by her actions, it was worth his momentary pain.
“If you want nothing further to do with me after what I tell you, I’ll live with your decision. I understand your concern, after having met the bastard Uncle Jack. That’s why I had to see you once more and give you this.”
He pulled from the pocket of his duster a package wrapped in an oilcloth. He handed it across the door to her.
Samantha’s roiling stomach went into a whole new ride the minute she pulled back the oilcloth and recognized the gun. Her fingers slid over the initials J and S on the familiar piece. She raised her eyes to Valerian.
“Jack’s gun. Didn’t you have to give it back to him when you let him loose from the hitching post?”
“I did. Right before I sent him west, into hostile territory.”
Samantha blew out a breath. “So where did this come from?”
“Fred bought it off an Indian who was hanging around Ft. Kearney. The Indian was a Paiute, and he told a tale of how a crazy man rode right into the middle of a Paiute war party camp looking for a woman. After what had happened to their women to put them on the warpath, they didn’t even stop to ask questions. They shot him before he got off his horse.”
Samantha raised her eyes to Val. “You mean, Uncle Jack is dead? Really, truly, dead?”
“Yes, Samantha, you’re safe now. Whether you and I are together or not, I wanted to give you the peace of not having to constantly glance over your shoulder all the time.”
Samantha let her tears fall again without trying to stop them this time. She’d been so frightened for so long, and Valerian had, with his gift, managed to eliminate all her fears. She reached out to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, reaching up on her tiptoes to pull him close for a kiss.
Valerian smiled at her. “Is there any way we can get rid of this door between us, so I can properly kiss you?”
It was Samantha’s turn to smile. “Since you’ve given me the best present ever, with Jack’s gun, you deserve a present of your own.”
She stepped out from behind the door and placed her hand on her stomach, smoothing the fabric of her skirt over her rounded belly. Valerian’s eyes grew large as he stared at her expanded stomach, then at her.
“How do you feel about becoming a father in a few short months?”
The movement of Valerian’s Adam’s apple told Samantha he was having a hard time controlling his feelings. And after all she’d put him through, she didn’t want to add to his burden by imposing fatherhood on him if he still only wanted to ride horses.
“Who would have thought one time together would be all it takes, eh?” She smiled through her tears in an attempt to put him at ease. “I’ve got it good here, though, with Letty and Horace giving me a job, and your lovely sister and her husband right down the road. So, if you can’t handle being a father, I understand. You can return to your job with the Pony Express, and I’ll stay here. And it’ll be all right, especially now that I don’t have to fear Uncle Jack.”
She tried, but failed, to keep the tremor from her lower lip. She bit her lip to conceal her anxiety, and tasted blood as she bit hard.
“Come here, Samantha.” His voice was firm, and she could not ignore it any more than she could keep her stomach calm. She moved alongside him, and he gently placed his arms around her. She melted into him and inhaled a long, shuddering breath. They stood, joined together, for several minutes. Samantha breathed deeply for the first time in months. The scent of hay and horse combined with the familiar smell of Valerian. The wild boy who only wanted to ride horses.
His hand came up and he cupped her jaw. She lifted her eyes to him, and the love in his brown eyes warmed her to her core. He lowered his lips to hers, and they spent several more minutes exploring each other’s mouths. Finally, Valerian lifted his head.
“You may have good people around you in Letty and Horace, but nothing beats family. Not only do you have me, Ginger, and Joseph in your corner, but Basil and Temperance live in town, too.”
“I know. Ginger took me into your family’s bank a while ago, and I met Basil.”
“So you see, you’re surrounded by Fitzpatricks no matter in which direction you go. You will never be alone again, Samantha, having to fend for yourself by any way possible. You’ll never be forced to turn yourself into a boy to get by in the world. I’ve already quit the Pony Express. It wasn’t the same without you to share it with me. How soon can we marry?”
Samantha’s roiling stomach became calm in seconds. “You want us to marry?”
“We talked about a homestead of our own the day we visited your parents’ home. And yes, I want us to marry. I’ve wanted nothing else since I found out you were really a girl. So, my question remains. How soon can we marry?”
Samantha blew out a long breath and brought Valerian’s hand to her growing bump. “It better be soon, Val.”
“Then let’s go inside and talk to Ginger. She’ll pull something together in no time.”
“Are you sure about this, Val? I feel bad that we haven’t even talked about whether or not you even want children. We seem to be jumping way ahead of things.”
“I come from a very large family, in case you haven’t noticed, and I can’t imagine not having my own children someday.”
“And someday is going to be here sooner than you think.” Samantha threw her head back and laughed. Valerian had the effect on her of wanting to live and be happy instead of merely existing. She put her arms around him again, and together they bumped their way into the roadhouse.
Ginger jumped up from the table the minute she spied them together, and clapped her hands.
“Valerian, you didn’t let me down. I was positive if you and Samantha reconnected, you’d never be apart again.”
“And you’re right once again, sister. How soon can you arrange a wedding ceremony?”
“It may take a few days. I stopped by the telegraph office in town before you men arrived on the train today and sent a telegram to Mother and Papa. I invited them to celebrate Thanksgiving with us. And now we’ll have even more reason to celebrate!”
Samantha broke from Valerian’s embrace to kiss Ginger on the cheek. “Thank you, Ginger, but how did you know what would be the outcome?”
Ginger’s smile lit the room. “Because my husband kept saying inendaagozi whenever he talked about you and Val. And he’s never wrong about these things. You were meant to be together. It just took a little while to get you there. As it did for Joseph and me.”
“But you had no idea when Joseph went to St. Joe with the horses Valerian would be there. That he’d have Uncle Jack’s gun to give me. Or that he’d be willing to quit the Pony Express and come to me. So again I ask, how did you know?”
Ginger and Joseph glanced at each other then both replied, “Inendaagozi.”
Destiny. It had been with Samantha and Valerian from the start. And it would be a fine name for their child.
Chapter 29
Valerian and Samantha decided they’d be the ones to meet his parents at the train station. As the engine belched smoke and the brakes squealed to a stop, Valerian paced the platform while he waited for the passengers to alight from the railcars.
“I can’t believe you’re nervous, Valerian. I should be the one with a giant case of nerves. After all, I’m meeting your mother and father for the first time, and I’m five months pregnant! Whatever will they think of me?”
Valerian kissed her lightly and ran his hand over her stomach. “My mother will love the fact there will be another grandchild for her to spoil in a few months. She’ll love you. With me, though, she might have a few things to say. I didn’t tell her about joini
ng the Pony Express until after I’d already signed on and taken a few rides. And then there’s my father. He wants all his children to join him in the banking business. It doesn’t fit into my plans, and I know I’m a disappointment to him. And, on top of everything, although I mentioned you in my letters, I never told my parents I was in love with you.”
“Tell me again.”
Valerian stopped his pacing and kissed her again. “I love you with all my heart, Samantha. Even when you were a boy, I had feelings for you. And I’m so glad you’re a girl.”
Valerian spied his parents, and with an arm around Samantha, he walked quickly to them, assisting his mother from the train. Samantha took a step back.
He was grabbed into a fierce hug before his mother dropped his hand.
“I’ve been so worried about you for months, Valerian! You’ve made my hair turn gray with your wild tales of your Pony Express rides.”
He grinned at her. “Your hair is still as blonde as it’s always been, Mother.”
He shook his father’s hand. “Father, good to see you again.”
“You’ve caused your mother some sleepless nights, Valerian.”
“I know I have. But I want you to meet someone who might make you go a bit easier on me.”
He turned to Samantha and ran his arm around her waist again.
“This is the next person to join our family. Mother, Father, I’d like you to meet Samantha Hughes, my soon-to-be wife and the mother of our child.”
Charlotte’s eyes filled with tears, and her hand went to her mouth. “Oh, my poor child, the things you’ve been through.” Charlotte planted herself between Valerian and Samantha. “And now, before that baby gets born, we’re going to have a wedding.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Valerian replied. “Come on. We can catch up on everything later. Let’s get out to Ginger’s house before the afternoon turns into night. This baby’s due in only a couple of months.”
