by Lisa Rector
She sighed and tried again. Ahnalyn tensed, waiting for the impact. The light hit the shield, which absorbed the energy. She didn’t feel the hit. Ahnalyn’s arms dropped in relief.
“See, not so bad,” Aneirin said. “We’ll have to try it against a harder blast, and sooner or later, you’ll have to feel what it’s like to take a blow, but not tonight. You’re beat.”
Ahnalyn looked down at herself, shaking and drenched in sweat. I look ridiculous. She pushed a soggy piece of hair behind her ear.
Aneirin sidestepped closer, a mischievous smile spreading across his face. Ahnalyn was busy, wiping the sweat with her sleeve, when Aneirin grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder.
Ahnalyn squealed. “What are you doing?”
“Throwing you in the creek. You work too hard. You should have some fun.”
She kicked her heals and pounded on his back. “No way! Put me down.”
The creek had been dammed up, creating a swimming hole. Aneirin reached the edge, pulled Ahnalyn down in his arms, and gave her a smug look before tossing her in.
Brief weightlessness accosted her and then the cold plunge of the water. She rose to the surface, sputtering against the chill.
Aneirin jumped in and promptly started splashing Ahnalyn.
“Ahh, no, Aneirin!” Ahnalyn dove underwater. As soon as she emerged, a splash caught her right in the face.
They battled for several minutes, both laughing like two children.
It didn’t take long for Ahnalyn to begin shivering. Aneirin pulled Ahnalyn to himself, wrapping his arms around her, his dripping wet cheek scorching her frozen skin. With her fingers working at Aneirin’s arms, she kicked her feet and tried prying herself free.
“Heat yourself up. It needs to become automatic. I’m not letting go until you stop shivering. Focus your light!” Aneirin ordered.
Ahnalyn stopped thrashing. Warming up was easier now. Her focus was faster, and her body stopped convulsing.
“There, was that so hard?” Aneirin still held on, his grip tightening slightly. He wasn’t going to release her.
Ahnalyn tried to ignore his feelings, which radiated with his touch. His love and desire for her were too intense, sparking unease in Ahnalyn. She focused her energy and, in one mighty smack, pushed her light out around herself, knocking Aneirin backward in the water.
Aneirin surfaced, shaking his head and wiping water from his brow. He prodded his side. “You broke a rib.”
Ahnalyn gasped. “I’m so sorry—”
Aneirin grinned and shoved an energy thrust forceful enough to push her under water. Ahnalyn flailed but regained balance.
“I guess you didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to take a hit.” Aneirin reached out to help her up.
Ahnalyn screamed in his face and dove away from him through the water, splashing toward the bank. Aneirin grabbed her ankles and hauled her back in. After much struggle, they climbed out onto the bank, exhausted. Ahnalyn rolled onto her back, looking into the sky.
A minute passed, while Ahnalyn caught her breath, before Aneirin grabbed her hand. Familiar soothing energy spread up her arm and through her body. Her skin became hot and her clothes dried. Aneirin’s light left her, and amazed she could sense it, she watched as he spread the light through his own body to complete the same process.
“That was fun.” Aneirin grinned. “I told you, you need to have fun.”
Ahnalyn just looked at him and rolled her eyes.
***
“You’ve made a lot of progress,” Aneirin said. Though he believed it was due to ill motivation.
“Your mother talked to me about my light. She thinks I’m pure. It’s helped me to focus.”
Aneirin had rolled onto his side and lay with his head propped up with his arm. Ahnalyn gazed at the sky. He knew part of what Ahnalyn said was truth, but she didn’t believe his mother’s words. Focus indeed. Her focus was on revenge. “She’s right.”
Ahnalyn’s smile dropped. “It’s easier here. The light feels stronger, like you said.”
“Are you happy? Do you think you could be happy in Gorlassar?” Aneirin wanted to say, do you think you could be happy with me—if you stopped thinking about Caedryn?
“I’m content, for now.”
Aneirin saw how she looked at Einion and how she stared into his face with sad eyes. Aneirin had never met Brenin, but he’d heard Ahnalyn say, more than once, how Einion looked so much like his father. She still struggled to overcome Brenin’s death.
Aneirin wanted to ask Ahnalyn a question, but he worried it would set her off. He’d never listened to reason before. Not even Cephias could have deterred him. He had to ask about Brenin, especially if he wanted to move forward with Ahnalyn. In his usually tactful way, Aneirin blurted, “Did you love Brenin?”
Ahnalyn coughed and stirred, pushing herself up to sit. “Where’s this coming from?”
Aneirin scrambled up to meet her at eye level. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. It’s just that King Sieffre said something when I was in Talfryn.”
That had her interest piqued. Her eyes grew large. “What did he say?”
“He said that Brenin met Niawen when he was four. He knew she was an emrys.”
“And so he knew I was part emrys. Yes, Caedryn told me. So you want to know if his motives for marrying me were honest.”
Aneirin nodded slowly.
“And you want to know if I loved him.”
“Yes.”
“Why? Why should you care?”
Aneirin raked his fingers through his hair. “I wanted to know if that’s why you were so angry, if Caedryn had told you otherwise. I guess I couldn’t see how Brenin could marry you and not love you.”
Ahnalyn sighed and shook her head. “He loved me. He told me he loved me right before he rode off to die. Nothing Caedryn told me would have persuaded me to believe otherwise.”
Aneirin smiled faintly. “And you him?”
“Yes, and I him. Though we’d known each other and been married for only a few short months, Brenin was my whole world. It shattered when he died. With Einion, the pieces have been painstakingly glued back together.”
“But it still hurts.”
“Yes, it still hurts.”
For some reason this reassured Aneirin. Ahnalyn admitted to her life’s coming back together, the healing slowly on its way. Aneirin rolled back onto the grass and shut his eyes, heedless of Ahnalyn’s staring, well aware that she was asking herself, once again, why she’d opened her heart to him. Aneirin relished every moment of it, knowing that if she had loved once, she would love again.
It was only a matter of time.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
REVENGE STRONGER THAN LOVE
After a week and a half in Gorlassar, Ahnalyn was making progress, flying incredibly well on Seren, so much so, that she took the harness off. Her aggressive training continued with Aneirin, and she even took turns with Catrin. They both said she was advancing rapidly—able to throw a forceful blast and to hold up an impressive shield against Aneirin and Catrin combined.
Her improvement had a lot to do with her motive. Face Caedryn. Destroy Caedryn. The thought was constantly at the forefront of her mind. How much Aneirin guessed these feelings, she wasn’t sure. But Ahnalyn was certain in her course. She couldn’t erase the cruelty she saw when she pictured Lord Caedryn—the man who fathered her, mentally taunted her while keeping her locked up in a cell and in a cave, and who sent an army to conquer Terrin and kill her husband, leaving her son without a father. Ahnalyn would look him in the eye and show him he had not beaten her. I am light filled. I am an emrys. She was not her father’s daughter.
Aneirin came home for dinner and told Catrin and Ahnalyn they were ready. The Dragon Riders would move out in the morning. Dragon Scouts reported that Lord Caedryn and his army were at the lower gap in the Great Ridge. King Sieffre and his men were ready, waiting on the high ground at the entrance to the gap. The Dragon Riders would leave hours bef
ore first light for battle at sunrise.
When Catrin informed Aneirin and Ahnalyn she’d fly into battle, Ahnalyn thought this might be a good time to discuss her coming as well, and just as she thought—Aneirin wouldn’t hear of it.
***
Aneirin stood to clear the table.
Ahnalyn followed him over to the sink and set her bowl next to his. “I’m coming too.”
Aneirin squeezed his eyes shut. He’d been waiting for this. He’d hoped Ahnalyn would forget about it, but he was wrong to think she could overcome her hatred for Caedryn.
“Ahnalyn, it’s dangerous for you to leave the dragon realm. You’ve made incredible progress with your light. It’s strong—stronger than when you arrived in Gorlassar. If you left, you could risk losing the light.” He touched her arm, hoping Ahnalyn understood his emotion behind his explanation. Aneirin remembered what his mother said about Ahnalyn’s having to choose between the light and the darkness. He didn’t want it to come down to this.
“Aneirin, you know I have every right to fly too. My people, my dragon stone. Tad—Owein—is out there. He needs my help,” Ahnalyn said.
“And Einion? Do you have someone who can watch him and keep him safe?” The tension in Aneirin’s brow was giving him a headache. He started scrubbing the dishes. “What if you die, Ahnalyn? I don’t want to fly into battle worrying about you. It would be a major distraction.”
“I’ve already been a major distraction.”
Aneirin sighed but grinned. “Fair enough, you have me there.”
“I don’t see how we can both be satisfied.”
“I can. You stay here. I will face Caedryn. I will kill him. You don’t need his blood on your hands,” Aneirin said.
Ahnalyn slapped the edge of the sink. “You’re not the one vested in this. I’m the one who’s had her home torn from her, her people murdered. I’ve been tortured at the hands of that madman. I spent months in that cell. He tormented me! By twisting my mind and making me think I was worthless!”
Aneirin threw a cup down into the sink and turned to Ahnalyn. “But look at you, Ahnalyn. You’re everything to me! I am vested in this. Everything that matters to you matters to me. I would do this for you. Don’t you understand? I’ll do this for you so you don’t have to suffer anymore.”
“You don’t have to. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
“Aww, Ahnalyn. I wish I could make you understand.” Understand that, because I love her, I’d do anything for her. Wasn’t that exactly what Ahnalyn was doing? She loved her people. She’d do anything for them. What it came down to was: did Ahnalyn love him?
He knew one way to find out. Aneirin touched her chin, lifting her eyes to meet his. He held her face between his hands and wished he could do so forever, ignoring the panging ache from the thought. Aneirin looked into Ahnalyn’s eyes, the window into her being. He would find the answer, though he knew it would break him. Niawen had done this to him, and he understood now why she’d done it. The truth couldn’t be hid when looking into the soul, and he wanted to know the truth no—matter how painful.
Ahnalyn’s eyes were shining, but Aneirin looked farther, past the tangible eye and into her light as if her heart opened to him. And what he saw was the plain truth.
She didn’t love him.
Aneirin’s insides crumbled, his hopes churning, retreating to his pinched heart. It was true. Her feelings for him were strong, but it wasn’t love, not yet. A seed of pain grew, fertilized by guilt, soaked in the rays of revenge, preventing Ahnalyn from moving forward, preventing her from love. Aneirin searched her soul until he could bear it no more.
Dropping his hands, Aneirin lowered his gaze and whispered in defeat, “Please, Ahnalyn. I’m asking you, stay here. Stay for Einion, if not for me.”
He knew what the answer would be.
“Aneirin, I cannot. I’m sorry.”
He tried one last plea. “Ahnalyn…” But his words stuck.
She had turned and fled the room.
***
Not wanting to trouble Aneirin before he left in the morning, Ahnalyn attempted to tread gently the night before, but she failed. The look on his face of utter heartbreak caused her to dash from the room. She held her tears until she reached the bed and sobbed until she passed out.
It broke Ahnalyn’s heart to lie to Aneirin. Aneirin would think he’d won, that Ahnalyn would have to stay with Einion. He was wrong—she had a plan.
In the early hours of the morning, Cephias and Cerys landed in front of the cottage. From inside her room, Ahnalyn heard Catrin and Aneirin preparing to go. Ahnalyn emerged just before they were off. She tried not to think about another time, a short while ago, when she’d said farewell to Brenin before he rode off to battle. Ahnalyn hoped the results would be different. She couldn’t bear the pain that would come again if she lost more people she cared about.
Catrin gave Ahnalyn a fierce hug. “Keep that little man happy.” She pulled away, and Ahnalyn thought she saw Catrin’s eye twitch.
Did Catrin wink at her? She knows.
Aneirin came up to Ahnalyn and touched her shoulder tentatively at first. Her skin tingled as his fingertips ran down her upper arm, traced her elbow, and wrapped around her wrist. Aneirin pulled her close, in a crushing embrace, with his hands tangled in her hair. He kissed Ahnalyn tenderly on her cheek and without a word, let her go.
Her breath caught in her throat. Emotion stirred in her and burned.
Aneirin turned to Cephias, climbed up, and flew away without a backward glance.
Ahnalyn clutched at the empty spot in her chest, where a vital element had just been torn from her.
The sky was too dim to see Cephias and Cerys fly toward Mared, but they’d be lost among the thousands of dragons flying in the same direction, to the square where they were gathering before leaving in ranks.
Ahnalyn stole back into the cottage to prepare herself.
She marched into Catrin’s room and wrenched open her wardrobe, assuming Catrin wouldn’t mind if she borrowed some gear. Ahnalyn found a thick tunic made for flight, thermal, so Dragon Riders could focus their light on combat instead of heating their cores. Ahnalyn dressed and pulled boots on her feet. She gathered Einion’s belongings for taking care of him.
Knowing full well she might die, Ahnalyn had written a letter to Einion. She had faced death before and wished for its release. Now she had much to live for and didn’t wish for death, but it was out of her hands. Whatever happened today, her son would be safe.
She picked Einion up and cradled him in her arms, kissing him over and over again. When she heard Seren land, Ahnalyn strapped him in a sling against her chest, threw the bag of his belongings over her shoulder, and stepped outside to Seren.
“They’ve gone,” Seren said. “Aneirin and Catrin are near the front. It takes a long to time for the riders to pass through the portal, but Aneirin and Catrin are through at last. They’ll not suspect. Are you ready?”
“Beyond a doubt,” Ahnalyn answered.
***
Ahnalyn and Seren flew over the square in front of the capitol building. Less than half the Dragon Riders remained. Seren kept going until she landed at the palace. The morning was still dark, but torches lit the way to the entrance. Ahnalyn hurried through the golden front doors, the same she had entered on her first day. There were no guards. Lady Meinwen would feel her light approaching as Ahnalyn moved down the short corridor, which led to the final set of double doors.
She paused for one second to gain her composure. Lady Meinwen was within. Ahnalyn could feel her light. Whereas, when she first came into Gorlassar, she couldn’t sense the light the emrys carried. Now Ahnalyn could sense light everywhere, and Lady Meinwen was the brightest light of anyone, including her husband, Lord Ithel.
Ahnalyn pushed both doors open as gracefully as she could and entered the great hall, which was much the same as before, except now it glowed with torchlight. Lady Meinwen sat in her chair as Ahnalyn app
roached slowly.
Meinwen spoke first. “Welcome, child. I thought I might see you.” Her voice seemed to shimmer with light.
Ahnalyn bowed her head. “Lady Meinwen.”
The High Emrys looked exhausted. Lines of worry edged her delicate features.
“You didn’t wish for Aneirin to leave,” Ahnalyn said in a quiet voice.
“No, I didn’t. I have many sons and many daughters. They’re all special to me, with their own gifts and capabilities. Aneirin’s full of fire. He carries such an intensity for life that I haven’t seen in my other children. He moves at lightning speed, throwing himself into his passions unbridled. Not rashly, but with an unyielding love. He is my treasure.”
Ahnalyn closed her eyes. That would explain a lot. If she died, Aneirin would never be the same. He had given himself to her. He’d made his choice. Ahnalyn was to him as he’d been to Niawen. The gravity of the situation came around full circle.
Meinwen sighed and nodded her head. “You’ve come here because you made a decision. You’re prepared to go through with it?”
“Yes, I knew you’d understand.” Ahnalyn looked into Meinwen’s eyes, which revealed thousands of years of living in one instant. Terror and awe washed over Ahnalyn.
Rising, Meinwen reached out. Ahnalyn started to unsling her son.
“You should not fear for him,” Meinwen said. “He’ll have every opportunity imaginable. I will keep him safe. He will know of his mother and father. He’ll be the strong man you desire him to be.”
Ahnalyn thought of the words Taliesin said, “He will be safe and treasured. Have no fear.” So his words were true. This was meant to be. Here is where Einion would be treasured. Whatever his grand destiny, he would achieve his greatest potential in Gorlassar. Ahnalyn’s eyes welled up. She clenched her jaw. All her feelings were displayed for Lady Meinwen, so what did it matter? Nothing could be hid from an emrys as powerful as her.
“He loves you completely and unconditionally,” Meinwen said as she took Einion. “He would die for you, Ahnalyn, which is what I’m afraid he might do. If your life is in danger Aneirin will not hesitate.”
