Chronicles of the Half-Emrys Box Set (Books 1-3)

by Lisa Rector

  He left her helpless. Left her empty and weak.

  Left her open to love.

  You did this to me! You took my memories. Why? I was eager to carry out this mission. Why take my memories? Aerona had been steering Rhianu on the right path. She’d been a fool not to listen, and now her heart was entangled with love again. Why do this?

  Einion needed you at your most vulnerable—at your most innocent. If he could see your true emotions, you would have never succeeded. He would have known you for who you truly are. I never could have imagined though that, after serving me for so long, you could shamelessly throw yourself at him.

  You lie! I did not! How can you be so cruel after how I’ve served you?

  Because I am cruel! Do not forget who I am, dear one. Do not deceive yourself. Your glory and power is because of me! I can take what was easily bestowed. Rhianu, do not fail me, or you will suffer.

  What more could you do to me? I’ve suffered in every way imaginable.

  There are ways you do not yet know. I see you have fallen for this man. It is evident throughout all your being. Sickening. Will you be able to go through with my plan? Will you continue in your obedience?

  Rhianu knew she had no choice. But what about her light? After weeks of feeling its freedom—its grace—could she abandon her growth—her progress? The thrill of using both powers with both advantages could be hers, but not if she were the Vessel—a Dark Emrys with no power from the Master of Light.

  Forget about the light! The light was a tool!

  For her to continue to be the Vessel, she would have to rid herself of light and release the darkness from the confines of her mind. Was she willing to do that?

  The Dark Master’s influence spoke right into her dreams and permeated her mind. He could reach her wherever she went. She could never hide from him.

  So what if she did refuse him?

  He would kill her.

  Yes, you serve me because you fear me. Hurry back to your king and fulfill your mission. I have a detour for you before you crawl back. You must retrieve a token for me.

  A vision of a marshy waste with mires of putrid water, boggy plants, and stagnant algae growth opened to her mind. Within the swamp, her sight fell upon a mound where a mass of white flowers grew with large, closed, cup-shaped blossoms and long, slender leaves.

  What am I supposed to do with those? Rhianu asked with annoyance. The vision had shown her passing over the Great Ridge before ending in the swamp in Rolant, almost a day away.

  You must take one to your king as a forgiving gesture. The flower will take care of the rest. The Dark Master laughed mercilessly.

  Yes, my lord. As you desire. Rhianu felt disgust with herself. She had sacrificed much because of all her vows, all the oaths and promises she had made in the service of her lord. She had murdered her own father! Her only love was her master, and he betrayed her. The bitterness in her heart swelled. What more would he require?

  He required her undying allegiance.

  He required her soul.

  My soul lies with you, my lord.

  That is well. Renew your vow to forswear love so I know your heart is mine. I will not tolerate disloyalty.

  I have never been disloyal!

  Swear it!

  She would never love a man. Rhianu would hold to her vow of a loveless life and do as her master bid. Meuric had always been devoted to her. She would draw on his resilience. Rhianu remembered how he carried her through her folly with love, and how he mopped up the tears that she was ashamed to admit she shed. He never undermined her for that lapse of judgment. Meuric was one rock she could count on. Rhianu would rid herself of these accursed feelings and finish her mission to purge this light from herself and return to what she enjoyed most—the power.

  Her heart trembled. I swear it, my lord!

  Good.

  He left her.

  When Rhianu woke from her dream, she knew two facts. For the first time in her life, she feared her Dark Master. And she knew for certain she would never be the same Rhianu again.

  ***

  Rhianu and Aerona arrived in the swamp when the scorching sun blared high overhead. Flying insects hovered in the air and bit at her bare skin. Creatures peered out of the murky water, only their eyes visible as silent sentinels. The occasional tall, stocky bird splashed the water as it scooped up the critters with the floating eyes and gulped them down.

  While flying overhead, Rhianu saw the closest town several miles away, and they had not passed any dragon scouts in the sky. No one would be around to disturb them.

  I don’t think you should do this, Aerona said. Things have changed. You have changed.

  You’re absolutely right. Things have changed. I have changed. I’m not ever going back to the helpless, pathetic whelp I was.

  This is wrong. Why don’t you ever trust me? Aerona asked.

  I know my own mind.

  The swamp spanned endlessly in all directions. Aerona flew Rhianu to the secluded spot where the flowers could be found, exactly as the Dark Master showed in the vision.

  Rhianu’s feet hit the mound with a squelch. Though the hill rose above the water, its saturated ground felt like a sponge. Mud caked her boots with each step and weighed her feet down. Cursing at having cut her skirt, she smacked the bugs on her bare legs, already spattered with mud, and wished she had worn her leggings for flight. Immediately upon approaching the nearest flower, she could smell an overwhelming, pungent sweetness that made her eyes itch.

  Why this accursed flower? Rhianu assumed it would have a medicinal property to be used with healing. The Dark Master said to use it as a token of forgiveness. Indeed? In the depths of such a swamp, this flower would be hard for a mere mortal to retrieve. Perhaps its rarity would make it special.

  The flowers clustered together by the hundreds. Rhianu selected a single flower and plucked its stem.

  She had not planned how she was going to transport the flower during flight. Its delicate petals and stem would become damaged and broken from the wind. Rhianu smashed a bug against her hand, leaving a bloody, black spot. It occurred to her she could transport the flower in an orb of light. It would be tricky—she hadn’t harnessed the light’s energy for that long. Remembering what Einion had shown her that night in Eilian, she held up her palm with the flower in it. She held her other hand above and envisioned pulling her light out and up through her palm. Soon she had a ball formed in her hand, and she coaxed it around the flower floating in its midst. That should suffice.

  Aerona arrived and landed as gingerly in the bog as she could. Its shallows came up mid-calf, but even so, she stood precariously in the water.

  Now, is no time to be dainty, Aerona.

  Grr, this is a despicable task that you would send lesser men on.

  It cannot be helped. We’re on our own here. It’ll be over soon enough. Rhianu climbed up, holding the orb carefully with one hand. When she had herself settled in the saddle with her precious cargo, she balanced the light against the front of the saddle and between her legs. This would be a tiresome flight back. She was hungry and thirsty and had to hold her concentration on the ball of light. Rhianu ached for Morvith, to be home with the comforts of servants to do her biding. May this be the last irritation.

  Are we going home after this? Aerona asked. Is this the final step?

  Only the Dark Master knows. Now that I remember everything, I can stop playing this stupid, beguiling game.

  ***

  Weary from a flight straight across country with no stops, Aerona lighted in the center courtyard of Hyledd. The palace slept except for the guards on duty. Two slouching guards reared to attention, acknowledged Rhianu’s arrival, and asked if she needed assistance. One concerned guard commented on her appearance and asked if she was well. She assured them she was fine, hoping they didn’t remember her hasty, embarrassing departure, and made her way inside.

  Rhianu wanted to creep to her room without notice, but she needed a bath and a salve t
o alleviate the itchy bites. To her relief, a female attendant emerged. Einion must have made sure someone was here to receive her in the event of her return, or perhaps he sensed her arrival. Surely he followed her light source. Would he know she had traveled across the country? Would he be suspicious of her errand?

  The attendant brought food to her room and drew a bath before the fire. Rhianu found a vase on her bedside table with summer daises. She removed them and slid in her solitary stem. It flopped to one side of the large opening.

  Rhianu cleaned herself up, the herbal bath providing soothing comfort. She selected a modest nightdress and sat on the bench at the foot of her bed, staring into the waving fire.

  What now? Should she seek out Einion? She pulled a comb through her tangles, deciding. Closing her eyes, she focused her energy to see if Einion was at least in his room sleeping. The idea of seeing him, after running off the way she did, made her nervous. Despite her memories and the assurance of who she was, despite recalling how she never feared and never backed down from a challenge, she felt foolish. The real Rhianu would have never run away after such an encounter. She would have drawn her knife and cut such a man for taking advantage of her.

  But this Rhianu was flawed. She must not love. She yanked on a snarled lock and grimaced. I do not love Einion!

  She pinpointed Einion’s dot—still and unmoving. Rhianu almost sighed, almost stood to pull back the covers on her bed and curl into blessed sleep, resolved to talk to Einion in the morning.

  The dot moved.

  Rhianu swore.

  The light moved a few feet forward and back, forward again. Pacing. Which meant he was awake—waiting for her. Waiting, knowing she had arrived at the palace in the dead of night like a stowaway. Curse these emrys who can sense too much. The Dark Master wanted her to act. She could feel the urging.

  Rhianu grabbed a dressing gown from its hook and wrapped herself. Picking up the vase, she stepped into the bleak hall and made her way down the corridor in the dark. This she could do, so experienced was Rhianu at walking the black tunnels leading to her master’s chambers. She rounded the corner of her wing and entered the hallway where Einion’s room was. He was the only inhabitant in these halls. No one would bother them tonight. The guards weren’t even on duty outside the king’s door. He must have dismissed them in expectation of her.

  She didn’t knock. Rhianu opened the door as if stealth meant life or death. Einion’s arm rested on the mantle before the fire as though he stood in deep thought. He didn’t look up. Rhianu set the vase on a table and paused, knowing he desired to speak first.

  “You can feel I care for you.” Einion stared blankly into the fire. Clearly he spent the past day preparing a well-composed speech. “I care for you very much. I needed your friendship over these past few weeks. I might have taken advantage of that and misled you. The blame is mine. I can’t ignore this new revelation. I know you love me. I sensed it immediately when your hand smacked my face.”

  Rhianu flinched at his acknowledgment of her feelings. Never had a man spoken so plainly and blatantly to her before—besides Meuric. But he was allowed. “I’m so—”

  “Please let me finish.” Einion turned to her but stayed where he was across the room. His eyes did not focus on her face but fell somewhere on her waist. “The burden of the crown and my responsibilities weigh heavily on me. I had chosen to distance myself from attachment. Which was why Catrin left. I was going to stand on my own, learn my own weaknesses and strengths. Be a man who’d make my father proud. I didn’t need the trifles of a woman—”

  “Einion, I didn’t try to…” She felt sick. Why did she care?

  “But you came into my life, and there you were, at every turn. Everywhere I looked I saw your flash of red hair and heard your singing laughter as you and Ellena flitted about the palace. I found myself drawn to you. I needed you. Maybe I am weak. Maybe I could never do this on my own.

  “And after Gwenna’s death. You came to me and comforted me without saying a single word…”

  He stopped talking. He glanced up, and his eyes locked with hers. Rhianu clutched her chest, curling the fabric between her fingers.

  “I find myself torn. The pit in my chest hurts, Rhianu, and By the Light, you’re making it worse!”

  Her mouth dropped open. What in all of Terrin did that mean? “I’m sorry. I don’t understand.” Tightness pinched her brows. A thick fragrance saturated the room, and her head swam. Was it that forsaken flower? She felt clouded from logic. What is Einion saying?

  Einion paced the room again. He ran his hands through his hair, brought them down by his side, and clenched his fists. When he approached Rhianu, his face was that of a crazed man.

  Rhianu covered her mouth, pressing her hands into her lips. No. Don’t say it.

  “Woman, you’re making me crazy!”

  She needed air. Pull yourself together. This is not who I am. But her words tumbled out. “I didn’t do anything! I’m sorry. I told you I’m not angry about the kiss. I’m sorry I slapped you. Einion, why are you disturbed? How can I help you?” Panic leached through her. This fear, this blubbering, this desire to placate him was out of character. She was on the defensive. I never apologize. Was this what love did? Then she wanted nothing to do with it. I do not love him!

  Her legs shook. Exhaustion was taking over. This was a mistake. She should not be talking to Einion tonight. That was evident.

  “I can’t control the darkness inside myself when you’re around,” Einion said. “If I can’t control the darkness, I can’t love you, Rhianu. How’s that supposed to work? Loving you but denying my inhibitions? I need you to go. I can’t choose you over the safety of my people. Not now, not ever.”

  “When I’m with you, you make me strong,” Rhianu whispered as she studied the carpet, tracing the pattern toward a stupid, crooked toe on Einion’s left foot. Anything to avoid looking into his thundering eyes.

  “But you pull the darkness out of me!”

  She was right. He did analyze the situation. She was at fault for that kiss and ripping the darkness out of him. And now he hated her.

  “I feel like I can be good when I’m with you. I feel I can fight the darkness.” What was she saying? She didn’t want to fight the darkness. She liked her darkness.

  “I can’t make the right choice when you blur my reason!” Einion yelled.

  “But that’s just it! It’s a choice! It’s your choice. Not some dark matter inside you, forcing you one way or the other.” Rhianu’s heart burned. Was this confirming the truth? By the Master of Light, she didn’t know her own senses. She betrayed the Dark Master with her very words.

  His eyes bored into hers. “Please just go.”

  “You don’t know what you’re saying! I never asked you to choose. I never wanted any of this! This love was thrust upon me, Einion. People can’t pick and choose when to fall in love.” Did she just utter those words? Her entire body trembled. She couldn’t hold herself steady. I made a vow!

  She wanted to flee—or die, but his voice whispered to her mind.

  Forget this. Forget his sappy whine of love. Remember the flower. Use the flower.

  Rhianu didn’t know why they were arguing. She didn’t know why she argued. She didn’t want love. Einion was torn and perturbed. She would be doing them a favor by leaving. “Fine, I will leave.”

  Instead, she found herself heeding her master’s words and walking over to the flower. She plucked it out of the vase and held it dripping in her hand. Rhianu thrust the pale bloom out to Einion. “This was supposed to be for forgiveness. You can have it as a parting gift. With Ellena’s wedding approaching I’ll take her up on the offer to go with her and help with the preparations.”

  Pain slashed through Einion’s face. And Rhianu saw a truth. This was not what he wanted her to do, though he had said as much. Did he want a confession of her love to justify his actions? He would receive no such acknowledgement.

  When Einion clasped Rhianu’s han
d, his fingers grazed the flower stem. To Rhianu’s astonishment, a curious thing happened. The blossom unfurled, each petal rolling open with painstaking slowness. Nestled in the flower’s cup with the nectar’s drops was a petite lady—ever so dainty—with clear wings. She wore no clothes because fluffy, white down covered her body like a dress, showing off her bare legs. She was as diminutive as the flower, about two inches tall. The wee woman yawned and stretched and fluttered between them.

  “Oh, no Rhianu, you didn’t… gwri…” Einion’s eyes widened in alarm, but he did not move—or could not move?

  “What is a gw… ri…?” Her words stuck in her throat. All control of her movements had ceased. What have I done?

  The little fey hovered above the flower, looking from Rhianu to Einion. The gwri didn’t say anything. Rhianu didn’t even know if she had the power of speech. She flew up to Einion’s nose faster than Rhianu could blink and kissed it on the tip. She flew over to Rhianu and kissed her on the tip of the nose as well. As her delicate wings flickered imperceptibly, the fairy brought her hands together in a silent clap. Bright amusement spread across her face for a split second, and she disappeared in a wisp of smoke.

  Einion still clasped Rhianu’s hands. She remembered feeling blissful and sleepy all at once, as if being wrapped in a warm blanket.

  But then a dense, honeyed aroma filled her mouth and dripped down her throat and up her nose, filling her mouth and nasal cavity until she gargled it like thick syrup. She gripped Einion’s arm, and fell against his chest, sure he was suffering the same fate, but she couldn’t see beyond her red-tinted vision.

  The accursed flower would be her death.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO