by Nhys Glover
But if they went back into the arena as freedmen, with no powerful master to look after their interests, they would be given harder and harder contests. Eventually they would be chewed up and spat out by the crowds, who cared nothing for their lives.
Maybe my new husband could be their patron? But who knew if he would be any more interested in their safety or health than my uncle. And what would a husband think when he found me no longer a virgin? I could claim it was the Parthians, that was easily explained. It was amazing I was not raped. Everyone expected the worst from such men.
But would a husband my uncle found for me care how I came to lose my virginity, only that I had? Might that not reduce my chances of a suitable marriage? Who would want a woman sullied by barbarians?
On and on went the torturous thoughts as the water continued dripping. Morning came and went. I ate a little of the food my men had left me but my anxiety made me too nauseous to eat much. Instead, I drank watered wine and hoped it would settle my digestion.
I had thought I had recovered from the seasickness, but it had started to affect me again on the final leg of our journey. It was nerves, I knew. The closer to Britannia we came, the more anxious I became. Now, with worries over Marcus uppermost in my mind, it was no wonder my gut was complaining.
I had refilled the top bowl once and was almost ready to do it again when the door finally opened and Typhon came in, bearing fresh bread and fruit. I almost knocked him to the ground in my haste to welcome him.
“Hey, hey, what’s all this? Surely you haven’t missed me that much?” he joked, but I could see he was pleased by my desperate affection.
“Of course I did, you stupid man. I have been going mad with worry stuck in here. What has happened? Why did it take so long to return? The water clock has almost completed two cycles since you left last—”
Typhon kissed my mouth to silence me. It worked. I threw my arms around his shoulders and kissed him back hungrily. It felt like forever since I had held one of my men, though it had only been yesterday. But time here had elongated, and worry had made me desperate.
My kisses were returned just as hungrily, but my oriental lover broke free long enough to place the food on the small table next to the door before returning to my arms. He kissed me again and again until I was drunk from the taste of him.
Only my need to know the news had me finally drawing back. That and my need to breathe. My nose had become blocked because of the stuffy room. I had put the chamber pot out in the morning and it had been emptied and returned to the door, but I had used it many times since then and it was making the air malodorous.
“Tell me... before... before we get any more carried away,” I panted out, holding him away from me.
He grumbled and nodded. “You and your curiosity. All right. We made it to the port easily enough and found a room for what was left of the night. Just before dawn we went down to the harbour and awaited the first ships to tie up. Then we made much of bringing our mistress, Ennia Corva, ashore. Laria played her role perfectly. Had I not known you, I would have sworn she was who she claimed to be. And the way you did her hair. Well, she looked nothing like the filthy little whore we bought. But we were afraid one of the other performers might see her and know who she really was.
“Laria said it was unlikely any of them would be out and about so early, but we headed for the fort as quickly as we could. Although we had to make a big enough show to attract attention. It was a juggling act. Attract attention but not the wrong kind of attention.”
I nodded. “I know what you mean. And the governor did his part?” I asked, playing with the front of Typhon’s tunic.
“If you want me to finish this story you have to stop that.” He knocked my hands away playfully.
I grinned up at him, enjoying the way the lamplight played over the blue-black of his short hair. All my men were unique and special to me. Typhon was my first love. Sometimes I wondered if he was jealous of the others for the intimacies they had shared with me. But he should not be. Our sticky, sweet kiss had been my first, and it was by far the most precious to me.
“All right then. That’s better,” he went on with mock seriousness. “Asterius remained with Laria. Talos and Orion have gone to the markets to get her more clothing and a handmaiden, if one can be found. I said I’d bring you some food and check you survived the night without us.”
I nodded. “I did. Just. The water clock was useful, though I spent too much time watching it. Time moves much slower when you are watching it.”
He chuckled. “I suppose so. For me it moved too slowly because I couldn’t hear your soft snores or smell your sweet fragrance in the air.”
I wrinkled my nose, insulted by the idea I snored. But it was the idea I smelled sweet that had me reacting. “No sweet fragrance here. Only a chamber pot in need of emptying again. Smells seem very overwhelming right now. Most make me want to be ill. I expect it is just anxiety.”
“Our mother hated strong smells when she was breeding. It was how she knew it was time for her partner to move on.”
I had heard that women in the early stages of their pregnancies often found strong odour upsetting. If I did not know better I would think...
I froze in place, not liking what had suddenly come to mind. Gods, it could not be, could it?
“What is it? You’ve gone as white as a corpse.”
“I... I am not sure,” I stammered. “It is just that... What you said. I have been sick. My breasts are more sensitive than usual. Even a little larger, if I had to guess, though I put that down to better eating. And I have not had my courses since... since Palmyra. But I have been taking a tincture especially designed to stop a woman’s flow and limit her fertility. So that did not concern me. But the smells. They are too overwhelming. It... it cannot be possible...” I sputtered to a stop knowing it was definitely possible.
“When did you start taking the tincture?” Typhon asked in concern.
“In Palmyra. Just before we left there.”
“But you lost your virginity to Orion before that?”
“Yes, but it is rare for a child to be conceived during a woman’s courses,” I argued a little desperately.
“But not impossible. And you were with him up until we found you? Sharing his bed all that time. It would have taken time for the herbs to work, surely.”
I shook my head, my mind reeling at this new possibility. I was with child? I was having Orion’s child? What would a babe born to him be like? Not blue eyed. I thought that unlikely, though my eyes were grey, as had been my mother’s. She had been fairer than my very Roman father. Would a child take after me or Orion? If the babe was fair-haired and blue-eyed it would be clear who the father was. Marcus could not claim it was his then.
Gods, how could I have been so foolish? I had thrown all caution to the wind in those intense weeks after my rescue. It had seemed as if my life was finally mine, and I could have anything I wanted, even Orion.
How arrogant and short-sighted I had been. And if my uncle married me to someone, and I bore a fair child, it would be very apparent it was not a Parthian’s child. My excuse that I was raped would mean nothing. People would look at the blonde slave who was constantly at my side and know he fathered my babe.
My babe! A little flutter of excitement as well as dread churned in my delicate stomach. I was going to be a mother.
“You weren’t? I assumed...” Typhon said.
It took me a moment to realise he’d been questioning me about my intimacies with Orion, and I had been shaking my head. Not to deny his observation that we had been together during our whole journey alone together but to deny the possibility I could be with child.
“We were. I thought the herbs would keep me safe. Or maybe they did and it happened during my courses. I just do not know. How could I have let this happen? I, of all people, know about breeding and childbirth.”
“This complicates things. But as long as Marcus marries you and claims the child as his..
.”
“But what if it looks like Orion? I know fair hair and blue eyes do not breed true unless both parents are fair, but they lighten the colouring of the mother. Look at Talos. He is much lighter skinned than his mother.”
“But I look like my mother, except in height. Maybe any child of yours would look like you.”
“Height? Oh, gods... height! Marcus is short and so am I. Mater was a little taller than Pater, but not enough to make a difference. I will have a big baby. That is a certainty.”
Typhon grabbed my shoulders to stop me jerking from side to side in my growing panic. “Stop this, Accalia. You’re asking for trouble that hasn’t come yet. Let’s deal with one problem at a time. Who knows? You could lose it. That happens, especially in stressful situations. And this is that and more. It seems you recover from one blow and another hits you.”
I nodded. “That is how it feels to me. I find out Pater is dead and I have to marry Marcus, then after this long journey here I find Marcus has been taken and I am with child to a slave. They will kill Orion if it gets out. You know they will.”
Typhon wrapped me in his arms and held me tight. “Just like you to be worried about Orion rather than yourself. You know he will be fine. He doesn’t have to be a slave. We have our manumission now.”
This froze me in place. Manumission? Of course, had not Phaedrus mentioned those documents came with the marriage contract? I had forgotten for a moment.
“But if I marry Marcus I cannot keep you by my side as freedmen. It would be inappropriate. If you are free I will lose you.”
“But if we don’t find Marcus you could marry Orion. You would give up your station, but you could do it. And we could stay with you and make a life together. Anywhere in the empire.”
I shook my head. “My uncle would have the marriage annulled. He has that power. I am no freer than any slave. And my only way out is to marry Marcus, which means I will belong to him. My freedom has been an illusion all along.”
But what if we told my uncle I was dead and I stayed as Tahir, a freeborn youth?
A pregnant, freeborn youth? Came the immediate answer to quash that possibility.
“Stop it, Accalia. I can hear your mind racing. Our manumission is irrelevant right now. Maybe one day, if the worst happens and the child you bear is a spitting image of Orion he can take his papers and go, but that is a long time into the future. So much can happen between then and now. Focus on one step at a time. One problem at a time.”
I nodded again, trying to follow his suggestion. He was right. I was tying myself in knots over events in the future than may never happen. All that mattered right now was tricking my uncle’s men and getting Marcus back. The rest... Well, the rest would just have to be dealt with later.
Chapter Nine
ACCALIA
I expected the wait to be a long one. Days or even weeks. But within hours after my replacement was settled in to the governor’s quarters a delegation from my uncle arrived.
It was Talos who came with the news, and his face was flushed with more excitement than I had ever seen from my very pragmatic, roll-with-the-punches lover.
Typhon had been entertaining me with sleight of hand tricks to keep my mind off my problems. Orion was sitting moodily in the corner, swearing occasionally under his breath. He had not taken the news of fatherhood well. It hurt a little that he did not want this child. But then, it was not as if he could actually claim it as his own. Even in the best circumstances the babe would have Marcus as its father. That would hurt a man’s pride. It had to.
So I left him to his own thoughts and focused as best I could on Typhon’s games. He even tried to show me how to do the bait and switch. But as Asterius had tried in the past, and I could never get the hang of it—or did not have the patience for it, if truth be told—Typhon had an uphill battle teaching me. But it was entertaining to try to guess how he did what he did.
The door had opened and Talos had exploded into the room, dark eyes blazing with excitement. “It’s happening. Your uncle’s men have presented themselves to the governor and produced a document requesting the return of Ennia Corva to him as paterfamilias. The governor put on quite a show but eventually gave in. They leave tomorrow morning with the tide.”
“I’ll go and book a ship...” Orion said, jumping to his feet, anxious to be gone.
“No need. The governor has placed a small naval vessel at our disposal. That way we can follow where they lead,” Talos told him, frowning with concern at Orion’s apparent desperation.
“Oh, very well,” Orion said grudgingly. Then his expression changed to one of deep thought. “How many of them are there? We’ll need to keep them in sight at all times, even here. It’s unlikely they’ll send the message until they get across the Mare to Gallia, but we can’t take that chance.”
“The governor has his men on that. Remember, he wants his junior staff officer back as much as we do. He was taken under his watch, after all. We don’t have to do it all, Orion.”
Orion threw himself down on his pallet in the corner like a captive who had just been told his freedom had been withheld yet again.
“What’s going on? You look as if you lost your best friend,” Talos declared in frustration.
“Almost as bad. He just discovered he’s going to be a father,” Typhon told him.
For a moment Talos just looked blank, as if the words made no sense. I watched as he put the pieces together and came up with the answer. Looking my way, he asked the question with his eyes.
I nodded. “It seems my sickness was neither caused by the sea or by my anxiety.”
“But the herbs...”
“I started taking them after the event. A case of shutting the gate after the stallion had bolted. If my calculations are correct then it is likely I am two months gone. It could have happened that first time. I do not know.”
“This is wonderful news!” Talos exclaimed, sweeping me up into his arms and hugging me tight. “You’ll make an amazing mother!”
Tears pricked my eyes. He was the first one to see that side of it. Everyone else, including me, saw it as yet another terrible blow. Another hurdle to overcome. My darling Talos saw the best in the situation. I was going to be a mother. And a good one, as far as he was concerned.
“I would like to think I will make a good mother. But I never expected... And if I take after my mother then the babe may not... I mean, I might lose it. Mater lost many children before and after me. The last one killed her.”
“And this one might kill you!” Orion exploded. “Look at the size of you! You’re tiny. Like Typhon’s mother. My child will likely kill you. I will be responsible for your death!”
I blinked back tears of relief. So this was what concerned him? I thought it was fear for his safety, or the fact he would be handing his child over to another man, or any number of other possibilities. From my point of view, his being worried for my life was by far the best reason for his moodiness.
Talos set me free so I could go to where Orion sat pressed into the corner of the room, head bowed, shoulders hunched.
“Orion, do not be concerned for me. Women become mothers all the time. The risk to my life is the least of our concerns. But if I do come to term I will have the best people at my side. You will make sure I do. And I have my healing ability. I... I can probably use it on the babe.”
“But can you use it on yourself? That is what I’m worried about. Look at you! No more than a slip of a thing. Now look at me! Maybe if the babe came early...” His expression was wild, as if at any moment the sky would fall on us.
“Orion... Orion....” I said, taking his face between my hands so he was forced to look me in the eye. “Typhon gave the best advice. One problem at a time. We have to get to Marcus and save him so I can marry him. That is what we are dealing with now. The rest... that is a long way away.”
Orion stared at me for a moment before nodding and leaning in to kiss my lips. It was a tender kiss filled with heartache.
I felt tears pricking my eyelids again.
“It will all work out. It has already started to work out. Tomorrow we will be on our way to find Marcus. My uncle will not win this! We will not let him!”
I only wished I felt the confidence and determination I projected with those words.
The next morning before dawn the three members of my pack who slept beside me accompanied me to the harbour. We boarded the naval vessel in secret, in readiness for a fast departure, and stayed hidden. Asterius and Phaedrus accompanied Laria to the docks a little later. Once she and her three guard dogs and one handmaiden were onboard and under way, Asterius and Phaedrus ran to join us.
“What are you doing?” Orion barked, as the governor’s slave jumped down onto the deck, looking flushed and wild-eyed. “You’ll be labelled an escaped slave if you come with us.”
Phaedrus gave an hysterical laugh and thrust papers into Orion’s face. “Travel papers. Someone has to take care of the governor’s interests. Someone he trusts. And he cannot send any of his legionaries outside Britannia.”
“This could be dangerous,” Orion cautioned, handing back the scrolled papyrus without glancing at it.
“I am honoured that you care more about my safety than you do young Tahil’s,” he said dryly. “If it is safe enough for him, it is certainly safe enough for me. And I have to go. Marcus is important to me.”
“You court danger being the slave of one man and loving another,” Orion said softly so that the crew could not hear us.
“Love is dangerous. You of all people understand that. And embrace it. Do you think I do not know?”
Orion shook his head and the wind caught at his overlong blonde hair.
“I gave in to my feelings,” he growled out. “And now the one I love will likely die because of my weakness.”
I could tell he did not expect me to hear these words, but the wind had turned suddenly and they were thrown back at me like a slap to the face.
