by Nancy Thayer
“I don’t know,” Jane said thoughtfully. “I feel…different. You know, I’ve always been good. A good girl, a good sister, a good student, a good wife.”
“Let’s go find out what else you’re good at,” Ethan suggested, and signed the bill and took Jane’s hand and led her to her car.
He drove, which was a relief to Jane, because she felt, not drunk exactly, but not herself. In all the years of her marriage, she’d never so much as lightheartedly flirted with another man. But had she ever met a man like Ethan? He was gorgeous, and smart, and funny, and unpredictable. That was the pull, that he was unpredictable, and she felt, when she was with him, that she could be that way, too.
She leaned back in her seat and looked up at the stars. At some point, she reached over and put her hand on Ethan’s thigh. His quick intake of breath surprised her, and she felt a sense of power, a sense of herself as a sexually attractive woman, and that was delicious. She scarcely paid attention to the road as Ethan drove out of town and around the rotary and down the winding Polpis Road. They passed the Shipwreck & Lifesaving Museum, and several mega-mansions, and then Ethan turned right. He slowed down. They were on a rutted dirt road, with shrubs and bushes scratching at the sides of the car. No lights shone.
“Where are we?” she asked.
“On the moors. No one’s ever here, and I know a really private spot.”
In the moonlight, the landscape was slightly rolling and open and vast.
“It’s conservation land,” Ethan said, as if reading her thoughts. “No buildings allowed here. Only deer, birds, and mice inhabit this area. Maybe a few feral cats. Over there”—he pointed—“is a spot where we pick wild blueberries. The purest taste in the world.” He turned again, driving off the road and onto a small grassy area tucked beneath overhanging trees.
He cut the engine. For a moment, they sat in silence, letting the night air, the night sky, the few small night noises, encompass them.
“Jane.” Ethan pulled her face to his and bent to kiss her.
Oh, his mouth was sweet. The night air was slightly cool, and his arms were warm as he embraced her. He took a moment to slide his seat and hers back as far as they would go, and then she reclined and he moved over her, still kissing, still warm and sweet. He was in no hurry. He smelled like sunshine and gin, and his body was strong and muscular. When he put his hand on her breast, Jane gasped. A honeyed longing surged through her body, and when he put his knee between her legs, she almost bit Ethan’s mouth from the sheer rush of desire.
Ethan put his hand under her dress and slid it up to her waist. Jane twisted beneath him. At the same time, in the back of her mind, which mostly was molten with need, a small, clear voice said: Are you really going to do this?
“Ethan,” she said, her voice husky and low. Gently she pushed him away.
Flash. A blinding white light illuminated Ethan’s face, the dashboard of the car, Jane’s hands, and the greenery around them.
“I don’t believe this,” Ethan muttered.
Quickly he returned to his own seat, but he couldn’t get the back fully raised before a man in a brown uniform with a badge saying RANGER on the pocket appeared at the driver’s side. As Jane struggled to raise her own seat, she looked back at the source of the blinding light and saw a large four-wheel-drive parked behind them, a spotlight on the dashboard.
“Good evening,” the ranger said politely. “How are you folks doing?”
“We’re okay, thanks.” Ethan glanced at Jane, his expression unreadable.
“I guess you’re not aware that this area is closed at night.”
“Ah. No. Was not aware.” Ethan nodded, staring straight ahead.
“So I’ll have to ask you all to move along.”
“Okay. We’ll do that.”
Ethan’s voice was strange, Jane thought. Was he mumbling? She was completely alert, mortified, and also oddly proud of herself. The good Jane who never caused a problem in high school had been caught making out in a secretive off-limits-after-dark spot and ordered to move along by an official in a uniform. She kind of wanted to take her phone out and snap a shot of the ranger.
The ranger returned to his truck. The spotlight went out, and the truck backed up and around a corner. And then it stayed there. Waiting.
Ethan started the car and pulled out onto the dirt road, slowly retracing their path to the main paved road. He didn’t speak, but after they were headed toward town and the ranger’s truck was no longer behind them, Ethan burst out laughing.
“I’m sorry, Jane,” he said. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Hey, it was a thrill! A completely new experience.”
“I know, right? I wanted to ask the ranger not to tell my parents, but he might not have thought that was as funny as I did.” Reaching over, he took Jane’s hand. “I’m sorry. I had no idea the moors were closed after dark. Man, what a shock that spotlight was! Worked better than a cold shower.”
Jane laughed. “Are we going to tell our parents? Or anyone?”
“Not my father, for sure, and not Poppy. She’s out of sorts these days. Not your mother, I hope, although that’s your decision. But I’m sure she’d tell my father.”
“I might tell Felicity,” Jane said. “She can keep a secret and I know she’d see the humor in it.” Jane’s voice trailed off. What, exactly, was it? They didn’t make love, but Jane and Ethan most obviously had been on the brink. What was she thinking?
When they reached David’s house, Jane hurried straight up the stairs to her room, afraid her lipstick was smeared all over her face.
And afraid of what she had almost done.
twenty
From: Jane
To: Felicity
Subject: You won’t even
Please come to the island next weekend. Pleeeeeeeeese! So much to tell you & don’t want to do it on phone.
To: Jane
From: Felicity
Subject: WHAT?!
Anyway, we’re all coming, even Noah.
As Felicity and her family—including Noah—waited in line to board the small plane to fly them from Boston to Nantucket, Felicity sent prayers of gratitude for her mother and David’s kindness. To be absolutely accurate, it was David who had offered to pay the exorbitant cost of airline tickets so that Noah wouldn’t have to spend his precious working time driving to the Cape and taking the ferry over. Felicity knew her mother sensed the difficulty Felicity was having simply getting her husband to the island, and it was Alison, Felicity also knew, who had suggested to David that he supply the expensive tickets.
The airline agent called the flight and led them down a series of stairs and out to the tarmac where they walked over to the ten-seater Cessna 402, stowed their laptops and purses in the plane’s wings, and climbed the few steps into the cabin. As the engines began to rumble, the pilot informed them the flight would take around forty-five minutes and that the wind was moderate.
So, more to be thankful for. The kids loved it when the plane bounced around—they thought it was fun. It made Felicity want to throw up and she’d worried that it would anger Noah, who was uncomfortable when he wasn’t in charge of anything—a vehicle, a trip, a company. It was too noisy in the cabin to talk, so Alice bent her head and read her book. Luke stared out the window, enchanted, yelling at his parents to look at the tiny boats in the water. Noah sat scrolling on his phone, his jaw clenched. But it was a beginning.
To Felicity’s surprise, they found David waiting for them at the airport. He shook hands with Noah and kissed Felicity and the children.
“The Jeep has seatbelts for five people, so Alison and I duked it out to see who got to meet you here. She wanted to come, but I won.” David lifted a duffel bag and took Alice’s hand. “We’re parked out this way.”
Noah had met David before, once, at Chr
istmas. Felicity and Alison had chatted happily about the children and clothes, but they’d both kept a watchful eye on the men. Noah had dominated the conversation, but David had actually seemed interested. He’d asked questions that Felicity would never have thought of, questions that made Noah puff up a little, glad to be taken seriously by an older, time-tested businessman.
In the airport parking lot, Felicity told Noah to take the front passenger seat. It had more room for his long legs, she said, and she happily buckled herself in the backseat, between the two children, who were bouncing with eagerness to get to the beach. At the house, after receiving warm hugs from Alison, the kids thundered up to the bedroom to put on bathing suits.
“Are Poppy and the kids here?” Felicity asked.
“Not yet. They’ll arrive this afternoon.”
“Great. I’ll go up and help the kids get their suits on.” She turned to Noah.
“Want to come down for a swim?”
“Not now. Maybe later,” Noah said.
Oh, Lord, Felicity inwardly moaned.
“I’m going to sit on the deck and talk with David awhile,” Noah continued.
Felicity perked up. Good. This was good. David was without doubt the alpha male; it was a compliment to Noah that David was spending so much time with him.
“Hey, sis.” Jane strolled into the bathroom where Felicity was struggling to get Luke into his swim trunks. Alice stood on a short stool, admiring her braided hair.
“Hey, Auntie Jane, I’ve got sharks!” Luke pointed to his trunks.
“Cool,” Jane told him, and kissed his forehead.
“I’ve got mermaids,” Alice told Jane.
“You look like a mermaid,” Jane told her.
Felicity stood up to hug Jane. “I’m so glad you’re here!”
“Me, too, and you have no idea,” Jane said.
“Give me a hint,” Felicity said over her shoulder as she rubbed sunblock into her children’s faces and limbs.
“Ethan,” Jane said, and she winked.
“Wait till we get to the beach,” Felicity said. “We can talk without, um, little pitchers.”
“I know what that means, Mom,” Alice said disdainfully. “You and Auntie Jane want to tell each other secrets.”
“Aren’t you a clever girl,” Jane said. She knelt down to the children’s level. “Well, guess what. I have secrets for you.” She gathered her niece and nephew close and whispered to them.
“YAY!” Luke shouted.
“You are the coolest adult in the world!” Alice added.
The two children raced down the steps, across the deck, and down the sandy path to the beach, where two giant inflatable water toys waited: a white unicorn with a pink mane and a dragon. In minutes they were bobbing in the shallows, screaming with joy.
“Jane, what wonderful presents!”
Jane grinned. “Method in my madness, kid. I brought a couple for Poppy’s kids, too. Now we can talk.” She unfolded her beach chair and set it next to Felicity’s.
“All right, spill.”
“Last weekend? When you all weren’t here? Ethan was here. And so was I. So he invited me out to dinner and…” Jane spoke with mischievous slowness, drawing out each word.
“And?”
“And we ate at the Boarding House. The food was excellent, and the drinks—”
Felicity slapped her sister’s shoulder. “Stop that. I don’t need to hear about the food. What happened? Did he kiss you?”
Jane laughed. “Um, yeah. He kissed me. A lot. In fact, he drove me out to a secret spot on the moors, off on a dirt road where nobody ever goes at night. I had the top down on the convertible, and the air was warm, and Ethan and I had a good old make-out session. Better than anything I ever had in high school. We reclined our seats, and Ethan moved over on top of me, and—”
Felicity’s heart clutched. “Oh, please, Jane, no. Don’t tell me you had sex with him.”
Jane drew back. “Why not?”
“Why not? Because you’re married. It’s one thing to flirt with a guy, even kiss him, and it’s such a boost to the ego to have him pursue you. But it’s wrong to have sex with him. If you’re married, you’re supposed to be faithful.”
Felicity burst into tears.
“Oh, honey.” Jane put a consoling hand on her sister’s arm but Felicity shook it off. “Is Noah sleeping with Ingrid?”
Angrily, Felicity brushed the tears off her cheeks. “Maybe, I don’t know, but the point is, Jane, you shouldn’t be having sex with Ethan when you’re married to Scott! No matter what Scott’s doing, you should be faithful to your husband!”
Jane sat back in her beach chair and took a moment. She waved at the kids, who were gleefully butting into each other with their inflatable creatures. When Felicity had stopped crying, Jane said quietly, “No, we didn’t have sex. A park ranger came along and told us to leave. That spoiled the mood, and I thought it would make a funny story. I told you how it is with Scott and me. We may be headed for divorce. I can’t imagine how we’ll resolve our differences. Right now we are diametrically opposed. And it was delicious to have such a sexy man wanting me.”
“I hope you and Scott don’t get divorced.” Felicity reached out and took Jane’s hand. “I think you’re a really great couple.”
Jane squeezed her sister’s hand. “I get how you feel about marriage, but I honestly can’t promise anything.”
Felicity sighed. “I know I was laughing about Ethan flirting with you, but having sex is taking it to a whole different level, Jane, and I know what I’m talking about. Noah says he hasn’t had sex with Ingrid yet, and for some odd reason, I believe him. If he does have sex with her…how can I stay married to him? And what about the children?”
“At least Noah is here now,” Jane reminded her sister. “He’s here and it’s going to be a gorgeous weekend, so he can relax and enjoy his family. He’ll remember how important his home life is. Try not to worry, at least for this weekend.”
“Okay, then, you stay away from Ethan so I won’t have to worry about you.”
Jane shook her head ruefully and held out her hand. “Deal. Shake on it.”
They shook and Felicity hugged Jane. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Now let’s go for a swim.”
* * *
—
Lunch was late, and afterward the children, sun-stunned from the water, collapsed on the sofa in the den, watching television. The adults lingered at the table, idly chatting, picking red grapes and cherries from the fruit bowl.
“Will you be able to come here for a weekend or two in August?” Alison asked Noah.
Felicity froze. She’d never asked her mother to inquire about Noah’s plans, and why was she asking, anyway, what did it matter to Alison? Noah hated to be put on the spot.
“I’m not sure,” Noah answered. “My work is in a crucial stage right now.”
“I’m asking because I’d love for you to see the hotel where our wedding and the reception will be,” Alison explained with a smile.
“It’s sublime,” Jane chimed in. “Heavenly.”
Noah frowned. “I’d like to see it, but I don’t know when I’ll find time to get back here.”
David spoke up. “Look, why don’t I drive you out to the hotel today, Noah? In fact, the manager is a friend of mine. He might let us use a couple of kayaks. We can explore the head of the harbor and get a beer after.”
Noah looked uncomfortable. “I’ve never been in a kayak.”
“It’s as easy as sitting in a chair,” David said. “And they insist we wear life jackets, so you don’t have to worry about drowning.”
“I wasn’t worried about that,” Noah grumbled.
Felicity held her breath. Was her husband going to be rude to his future stepfather-in-law?
> “Let’s go, then.” David pushed back his chair and rose. “We’ll be home around five,” he told Alison, and gave her a quick kiss.
Noah followed David from the kitchen, not bothering to speak to Felicity.
The front door shut. Two car doors slammed. David’s Jeep roared off.
“Well, girls, what shall we do now?” Alison asked with a smile.
Jane looked at her mother. “Felicity thinks Noah’s having an affair.”
Felicity said, “And Jane wants to go to bed with Ethan.”
* * *
—
Later in the afternoon, Alison told her daughters she was tired and needed a nap.
“Are you okay, Mom?” Jane asked, slightly alarmed.
“I’m fine, sweetie. Just old.”
“You’re not old, Mom!” Felicity protested.
“If you want to take the kids into town, my car keys are on that hook,” Alison said. She kissed the top of both daughters’ heads and left the room. She climbed the stairs and entered the master bedroom and locked the door behind her. She didn’t want to rest on the chaise longue by the window—the day was too bright, and she was not in the mood to enjoy the scene.
She curled up on her bed, facing the wall, pulling an old soft quilt made by her grandmother up over her. The room was air-conditioned, and she needed the sense of comfort the quilt gave her.
She was deeply disturbed by what her daughters had shared with her. She’d sat in the kitchen, listening as Felicity talked about Noah’s relationship with his personal assistant and Jane spoke of her desire for children and Scott’s adamant refusal to consider it. The old instinctive need to protect her daughters rose within her, a tide as natural and unavoidable as the surf swelling up on the ocean. These men! These ridiculous, blockheaded men, who had vowed to love her daughters and were now making them miserable. But what could Alison do? They were grown men; they couldn’t be scolded or cajoled or even bribed into changing. Oh, why in the world did people get married?
