by Daria Wright
“I didn’t suffer any heartbreak, I was disgusted more than anything else and realized very early on I was lucky to have gotten away from such a scheming woman. I’m afraid it turned me off of the idea of girls and marriage.” He added ruefully.
Feeling relieved that Ava seemed to be out of the picture for good Delphine gave him a sweet smile and suggested they head back towards the tent.
CHAPTER EIGHT:
One evening in early spring a tragedy of sorts struck Delphine when Daniel suddenly died. He wasn’t the first patient to die but he was the first who had meant so much to Delphine and she found it a hard blow. He had been cheerful and jolly to the end never betraying how much pain he was in. James saw the devastation etched on Delphine’s face at Daniel’s death and his heart grew cold. For days she moped about with a sad face, not saying much and one night when James saw her creep out of the tent wiping obvious tears from her eyes he followed after her feeling concerned. He understood that she was in a lot of pain and he wondered if it was because she loved him. He hadn’t read anything more into her friendship with him but now he wondered.
He hated himself for feeling jealous, he knew he shouldn’t because after all it meant nothing to him whether she was loved someone else or not. It shouldn’t matter but somehow it did. He found her crying near a tree and he pulled her into his arms in a comforting gesture. As she lay her head against his chest, her slender frame shaking with silent, uncontrollable tears, it became desperately important to him to know whether she was crying of a broken heart or mourning a friend. Hating himself for doing it but knowing that until he did so, the ugly feeling twisting around his heart wouldn’t go away he whispered softly against her hair,
“Delphine….did you love him so very much? Don’t be so sad, love in one so young will come again.”
All at once the sobs ceased in a hiccup and she lay still in his arms. Presently she raised her face and looked him in the eyes. In the flickering glow of a lantern posted a few feet away, he could see her face was tear-stained and filled with anguish. Despair tore at his heart that she was filled with such so much pain at the young lad’s loss.
“Love him?” She asked finally.
“Yes, that’s why you’re crying isn’t it? Because you loved each other.”
“Oh James no.” She uttered the words so softly he couldn’t be sure he had heard her correctly so he didn’t say anything at all. Delphine pulled herself away from his arms and dabbed at her cheeks with the edge of her apron.
“Thank you for being so kind.” She whispered, before turning to walk back towards her tent. James reached out into the darkness wishing he could hold her back and embrace her once more, he opened his mouth to call out to her but no sounds came out and then it was too late, she had already been swallowed up by the darkness. Much later that night he puzzled over what she could have meant when she had said,
“Oh James no.”
CHAPTER NINE:
As spring gave away to summer, James was starting to feel anxious for news of the war. He had gathered from the smattering of chatter amongst the French soldiers that things were not going very well for them and the Allies were rapidly gaining ground. Something told him it wouldn’t be long now before they won the whole damn thing.
But listening to idle gossip and getting real news were two very different things and whenever he asked Delphine anything she became tight lipped and refused to share anything she might know.
“There’s a war going on,” she had explained simply the day he had pressed her for information and demanded to know why she wouldn’t share anything with him, “passing along information to you would be betraying my country. I can’t do that.”
As annoyed as he felt, he had to respect her loyalty and knew he would have done the same. It made him love her even more if that were possible.
Then one evening towards the end of June, he felt a shift in the air. He could tell from the dark looks on the faces of the French officers that something terrible had happened. He was moved to another tent that night, away from the other soldiers. It was obvious they had things to discuss and plans to put in motion. For the most part James had been treated well and he had been allowed relative freedom to roam through the camp at will, eat with the other soldiers and even occasionally pitch in with their tasks, which he did out of sheer boredom. But that night he was bound up tightly to a pole inside the tent. The man who did it shrugged his shoulders apologetically to mean this wasn’t my idea. Trying not to read too much into anything, James took it all in stride, expecting to be released very shortly. But hours went by and nobody came, not even to bring him food. Eventually he knew everyone had gone to sleep, except the two men who would stand guard over the camp, he knew another man was stationed just outside his tent, tasked with watching him. Although where they thought he would go tied up as he was he didn’t know.
It was clear the tides had turned and most likely not in his favour trapped as he was in enemy camp. Curiously he wasn’t worried for himself but he felt deeply anxious about Delphine whom he had last seen the day before for a brief moment. But he was powerless to do anything. In the dead of the night he was woken from a light sleep by the sound of someone entering his tent. This is it, he thought to himself, they couldn’t get the ransom they demanded so they’ve come to kill me now.
Prepared to stare death bravely in the face, he shook the sleep out of his eyes and stood up tall and proud, ready for whatever fate had in store.
But it was Delphine’s beautiful face lit by the flame of a single candle which greeted him.
“Delphine! My darling, are you alright? What’s going on? Why am I here? How did you get inside?”
“Yes, yes, I’m alright. The man guarding you is fast asleep.” She whispered so softly he had to strain to hear her. “But you’re in trouble.”
She pulled out a knife from her apron pocket and set the candle near his feet and began to cut away at the ties.
“You have to escape,” she explained “I’ve brought you some food and managed to steal a little bit of money, it’s not much but it’s something. You probably won’t have to go very far before you find help with Allied troops, they’ll be everywhere by now.”
James felt thoroughly confused by her words,
“What are you talking about? Where am I going?”
“They’re going to kill you in the morning,” Delphine said urgently as she cut away the last of the rope from around his feet.
“I heard them talking about it, so you have to go.”
As soon as he was freed from his ties, James gathered Delphine in his arms, her soft, pliant body responded to his touch and she collapsed against him, he tightened his hold around her, cherishing the feeling. He hadn’t touched her since the night she had cried over the death of the young boy. But the loving moment was brief because she started to pull away from him saying there wasn’t a moment to lose and he had to get away.
“I’m an officer Delphine,” he said trying to reason with her, “they’re not going to kill me. They’re hoping to get a lot of money for me or use me as a bargaining chip.”
“No James, they’re going to kill you. They would have used you as a ransom but they’ve changed their minds. They’re angry and they know they have lost everything. Money is meaningless to us now. We’ve lost the war James, Napoleon has been soundly defeated at Waterloo and the French troops are out for blood...and I’m afraid you’ll be the one...the one to…” she broke off as a sob caught in her throat and the tears she had courageously held back spilled freely down her cheeks.
“Defeated at Waterloo! So the war is over is then….” James’ head reeled with the information, this meant they had won, the Allies had won!
“I’m not leaving without you.” He said firmly. “I love you and I know you love me too. I’m taking you back with me.”
“Be serious James! I’m French and you’re British, we come from two completely different social circles in life. I’m the enemy, you can’t ta
ke me back with you.”
“I don’t give a hoot about any of that Delphine, all I know is I’m not leaving without you.”
“You think you love me now James because I nursed you back to health, but once everything settles into normalcy, you’ll realize you don’t love me at all. Besides I have my own family to think about...I can’t abandon them.”
“I’m not telling you to abandon them Delphine, I don’t have all the answers now but we’ll figure it out. I love you and want to marry you. Now please let’s get away from here before we’re discovered.”
But Delphine shook her head and stepped away from his arms,
“I can’t marry you James, I don’t love you and I would never be happy with you, living with my enemy. I love someone else and I can’t be yours. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I’m pleading with you to go not because I care for you but because I’m tired of the bloodshed.”
As the words came out of Delphine’s mouth she choked back her tears. It was breaking her heart to spout these lies to him but what choice did she have? She couldn’t run away with him and he was stubborn enough to stay if she didn’t, the only thing she could do was convince him she loved someone else.
“You don’t mean that Delphine, you’re not telling me it all meant nothing to you….I know you...you love me.”
“No. I don’t.” Her voice was firm and cold. It had to be.
“Is it Daniel then? Is that because you loved him?”
“Daniel? No James, I never loved Daniel, he was like a little brother to me. But I don’t love you either and I feel sorry that you deluded yourself into thinking that. Goodbye Major Sutton.”
Without another word she slipped out of the tent leaving James alone with his shattered dreams. He knew it would be folly to go after her now but he decided he would speak to her again in the morning. He didn’t care if they did kill him but he wouldn’t leave without her. Regardless of whether she loved him or not, he had to make sure she was safe.
The flap of the tent rustled again and a figure stepped inside. He turned with Delphine’s name on his lips but the shadowy figure was a man. A tall, bulky, bear of a man, the guard who had been posted outside his tent. James nervously wondered how much of his conversation with Delphine the man had overheard and what he could do or say to fix the situation when the man spoke up.
“You need to do as she says Sir.” he said in French.
James wasn’t sure he had heard correctly.
“I’m sorry?”
“She’s right, they’re going to kill you in the morning, so you need to go.”
“I can’t leave her.” James stated stubbornly.
“Suit yourself but know this, if you’re dead you can’t ever help her or get her back. If you’re alive well then you can come back for her.”
“So you’re saying I should just abandon her and save myself?”
“I’m saying dead men don’t love or get married.” He said bluntly. “And besides the French won’t hurt her and unless you British are complete savages they’ll have no reason to hurt a nurse neither.”
The straight forward words hit home with James and he realized the man had a point. He couldn’t afford to be sentimental right now and had to take logical steps, so he nodded.
“Alright then, I’ll leave.”
“I’m going to need you to hit me on the head with my musket so I can tell them you escaped.”
James nodded and took the preferred weapon.
“Why are you doing this?” He asked curiously.
“I don’t want to see no more bloodshed either.”
“What’s your name?”
“It’s Pierre Sir, Pierre Archambault.”
“And what did you do before the war?”
“I was working as a butler for a Duchess in Boulogne.”
“Well Pierre, I’m much obliged to you and I promise you I’ll come looking for you too and I’m sorry about this.”
James hit Pierre over the head with the musket and crept out of the tent making sure to take the bag Delphine had prepared for him. He grabbed the nearest horse he could find and took off. As Delphine had predicted Allied troops were everywhere. By the time the sun rose high in the sky he had been riding steadily for four hours when he saw a British flag proudly flapping in the wind. He heaved a sigh of relief and as he pulled into the camp he felt as though he had come home and finally allowed himself to believe that the war was indeed over.
CHAPTER TEN:
A deep weariness had settled upon Delphine since Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo and since returning home. She couldn’t seem to shake off the weariness or rouse herself out of it. Nor could she stop the nightly dreams about James. She felt haunted by him at every turn. When the war had started Delphine had yearned for peace and now that peace was just around the corner she almost wished she was back on the battlefield in the thick of things, nursing James back to health. While she had no control over her dreams, she forced herself to never think about him during the day and eagerly tackled all the endless chores on the farm she had hated before. The mundane chores at least gave her respite from the haunting memories. But even so at various times throughout the day James crept into her thoughts reminding her of the hollow emptiness in her heart she would have to live with forever.
As the summer days gave away to the cooler ones of fall Delphine began to mentally prepare herself for her journey to the Americas. A pile of letters from John lay unopened in her chest of drawers; they came regularly every few days. She had opened the earlier ones but found them filled with admonishments about how disappointed and displeased he was that she had taken off to be a nurse without asking him first. One rambling letter concluded by stating,
Imagine my shock when I came back from my business in the Midwest to find you gone. I was expecting you on the first boat here and instead you tell me you’ll need to delay the trip for several more months. I want it to be very clear that going forward, as my wife your first and topmost priority is me. I cannot command you to return immediately as I am not yet your husband so all I can do is strongly encourage you to do so and get on the first available boat to the colonies.
John Williard
Delphine had felt so disgusted and so angry at the high handed tone of the letter she had refused to open any of the others which had arrived for her while she was gone. And by now word must have reached him that the war was at an end. If she had to hazard a guess she would say his numerous letters were probably filled with questions and demands on when she was coming. She knew she would have to respond to them eventually and let him know when she would be arriving but she kept putting off the inevitable using the war as an excuse to delay things. Finally one early morning at the end of September once Marie had left their room she sat down with the pile of letters and opened a few at random. As predicted the letters were mostly the same. Some were arrogant and imperious in tone while others were a little softer such as the one she held in her hands.
Delphine,
I hope you are doing well and hope you are preparing for your journey to me. I know things must be troublesome with the war but we need to set a date for our wedding. I want you here with me before the winter sets in. So please write me back immediately with your date of departure. I’m sure you can understand how anxious I am to get everything settled between us. I had thought to have a wife at my side long before now.
Yours,
John Williard
The words left a sour taste in Delphine’s mouth. Every word scrawled on the paper sounded high handed and arrogant. Everything was about him. He needed her to get on a boat immediately to put his plans in motion. There was no trace of love or affection in the lines, it all seemed so cold and formal. Like a business transaction. She was expected to arrive in the Americas, marry him and get to work on his ranch, little more than a housekeeper but with the tile of a wife. And she had fully accepted this a year ago when she had responded to the mail order bride advertisement.
; But she recognized that her time as a nurse had changed her, James had changed her. He had opened her eyes to something more and she didn’t see how she could go through life without love and affection in her marriage. But she also knew she could never love anyone else either so perhaps a business transaction was the right path for her after all. Once she had made up her mind she lost no time in composing her letter to John apologizing for taking so long to get back to him. She cited the ending of the war as an excuse for the delay with the post and her plans. She ended the letter by confirming her date of departure.
I will be purchasing a ticket for the boat leaving in a month’s time and shall be with you before long. If all goes well and the journey is smooth I will be there before the first winter frost. I will await your answer and confirmation of these dates before I purchase my ticket.
Warm wishes,
Delphine
Once the letter was completed she put it in an envelope addressed to him and put it on her dresser to mail it out later that day and sighed heavily. It was done. There would be no turning back. She washed her face and got dressed, she planned on letting her family know about her plans once she heard back from Mr. Williard but as the weeks went by she heard nothing from him, she stopped receiving even his regular letters. Puzzled by his silence she wondered whether she should write to him again but before she could do that Marie said she needed to speak.
CHAPTER ELEVEN:
Delphine found her seated on the wooden bench in the kitchen, her face troubled, her hands twisted on her lap. An air of nervousness hung about her. Delphine approached her sister quietly and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“Marie? Is something the matter? Aren’t you coming to bed?”
