“Ah, Claire.” His eyes swept over her. “What did I do, sweetheart?”
His term of endearment made more tears come. Claire shook her head fiercely, trying to fling them away. “It’s not you. It’s me. That kiss was fabulous, but I’m such a mess right now. I don’t know why, but there’s some reason I didn’t date you, right? I can’t be falling for you when I’m missing a piece of me. That probably makes no sense. I think I just need some space right now.” What she needed was her memory back, Hazel, and lots of chocolate. Why couldn’t she just love Brig? Why hadn’t she?
Brig’s brow furrowed. “I understand.” He released her from his arms, which she hated, but maybe it was for the best.
Claire wrapped her arms around herself. Her wet clothes clung to her, and she shivered in the cooler night air.
Brig pushed a hand through his hair. She couldn’t help but notice the way his bicep bulged as he did it. His clothes were also clinging to him, and her eyes wandered over every defined muscle in his chest and abdomen. She was such a mess right now, and he was far too good for her. That goodness had nothing to do with his perfect looks and everything to do with the caliber of man he was.
“How could I have been so stupid as to not give you a chance?” Claire asked.
“You’re not stupid at all, and I understand being confused. I’ve loved you from afar for so long, Claire, hoping for a chance with you. Now, it’s like I’ve been blessed with that chance, but I also feel like the jerk who’s taking advantage of your amnesia. If you didn’t want me before, I’m sure there was a good reason. Who am I to push you to want me now when your memory is gone?”
“Brig.” Claire touched his corded forearm, and sadness swept over her at his admission. “I have no clue what was wrong with former Claire, but I kind of hate her right now. I don’t understand why I would’ve turned you down, but I’m sure it was some selfish, twisted reason. It couldn’t have had anything to do with you because you’re the perfect package in my eyes.”
“Claire.” Brig sort of groaned out her name. He dipped his head close to hers and murmured, “How can I resist you? You’re everything I’ve always wanted.”
“Why would you try to resist me?” She sassed back, pushing the stupid doubts, insecurities, and need to eat chocolate with her sister away. She was falling for Brig, and she was being idiotic to question that. To not just let it happen and enjoy every touch and every kiss. It was neither of their faults she’d lost three years. “To heck with my memory, especially if it keeps me from you.”
He smiled, but there was a trace of sadness behind it. “Maybe when your memory returns, you’ll want nothing to do with me.”
She shook her head, swearing to herself that wouldn’t happen. “If former Claire shows up, I’m going to smack her in the butt and tell her she was an idiot.” Brig smiled but still looked uneasy. Claire ran her fingers along his smooth cheek. “I promise, Brig. No matter what memory I have or don’t have, I know you now. Nobody is prying you away from me.”
He pulled her up and in, lifting her off her feet as he claimed her lips with his. The kiss was like fireworks on a warm summer night—so much excitement but also comfortable and perfect. He increased the pressure on her mouth, tasting, exploring. Claire was soaring and never wanted to come back down.
“Ah, isn’t that sweet?” A voice from behind them pulled them apart.
Brig set Claire down and pushed her behind him, holding on to her with one arm. His other arm lifted up toward the man as if to ward him off by his sheer strength.
“Gage?” he asked.
“In the flesh.” The voice was cocky and full of contempt.
Claire’s trembling from the cool night air turned to full-on chills. She wanted to stay sheltered behind Brig, but she also wanted to see and face her tormentor. She peeked around Brig’s arm. It was the man from the surveillance tapes she’d seen—handsome, blond, definitely an athlete. The scratches on his cheek were scabbed over. Had she given him those marks or had he tried to attack someone else and they’d scratched him? What if he’d killed that person with the pistol he now pointed at Brig?
Claire tried to come around to Brig’s side to face the guy, but Brig’s arm held her firmly behind him. She could only peek around his shoulder to catch glimpses of Gage Tantrum.
“Don’t, Claire,” Brig said calmly, clearly in control.
“No, do Claire. I like the way you look all wet and sexy.”
Her stomach churned, and those horrific notes he’d sent played through her mind.
“How did you find us?” Brig asked.
Gage cackled, and Claire could hear the insanity in that laughter. Knox had said he was acting more mentally unstable all the time. “I got some pictures of you and Knox leaving the hospital with her. Didn’t take too much digging from a buddy of mine to match your face to Major Brig Hunsaker. Then it was easy to find out what property you owned and wait for the perfect opportunity to grab my girl. Come on out, Claire. I’ve been waiting too long.”
“You’ve got no play here,” Brig said, still clutching her against his back with one hand. “I’ve got two men watching over us that will be here any second.”
“Then we’d better not waste any time.” Gage leveled the gun at Brig’s chest.
This psycho had a gun, and their help was too far away. Brig was strong, but nobody could be stronger than a bullet. He needed a distraction, but she had no time to think of something brilliant.
“I’ll go with you, Gage,” she hollered and at the same time she flung herself away from Brig and almost ripped her arm out of the socket as her body flew toward the water. She barely broke free from Brig’s grip. Time slowed down as Brig reached for her and she plunged off the dock.
Gage cursed, and Brig called her name. She landed in water shallow enough that her head didn’t completely submerge. Pushing off the spongy bottom of the lake, she grabbed on to the side of the dock and screamed, “I’m coming Gage!” He stared at her like she’d lost her mind. She smiled as Brig capitalized on her distraction. He flung himself across the dock and tackled Gage onto his back. Gage cried out but, unfortunately, didn’t release the gun.
Brig slammed his fist into Gage’s face and then grabbed for the gun. Gage clung to it and struggled to free himself from the weight of Brig’s body. Claire launched herself back up onto the dock and tried to reach for the gun too. Gage’s free hand slammed into the side of Brig’s head and Brig temporarily released his grip on the gun to secure Gage’s other hand. Gage ripped the gun away from Claire’s wet fingers. Her eyes widened as she saw the gun continue to rise and then smack into the side of her head. Pain exploded through her. She heard Brig calling to her, but everything was fuzzy, and then it went horribly dark.
Chapter Ten
Brig reached for the gun but couldn’t get there fast enough to prevent Gage from slamming it into Claire’s head. She crumpled onto the dock, and her name ripped from Brig’s lips.
He had no time to deal with this loser. Wrenching the gun from Gage’s fingers, he ignored Gage’s foul mouth and writhing body. Brig slammed the gun forcefully into the man’s temple, and Gage’s body finally went slack. Brig tossed the gun onto the bank and scrambled off of Gage and next to Claire. He checked her pulse, relieved it was strong.
She blinked her eyes open and stared up at him. “Brig?”
His breath caught. “Claire, oh, sweetheart, you’re okay.” He scooped her off the wooden dock and into his arms. Standing, he strode off the dock and away from Gage’s inert form.
Claire buried her face into his shoulder. “Did you kill him?” she whispered.
“What?” Brig glanced back at Gage. “Oh. No. I just knocked him out.” He supposed the hit could’ve killed Gage. He hadn’t really stopped to check. Letting Claire’s feet slide to the ground, he held her close with his left arm and fished his cell phone out of his wet pocket, hoping the waterproof claims were true. The phone lit up, and he quickly called Rudy and explained the situatio
n, asking him to call the police.
Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he looked down at Claire. “You’re okay?”
She smiled tentatively. “My head hurts again.”
“I bet it does.” He bent down low and kissed the side of her face where Gage had hit her with the gun. Luckily, the skin hadn’t broken, but she would probably have a massive bruise and maybe a black eye tomorrow.
Claire moaned softly and leaned into his kiss. “That helps.”
He forced himself to keep one eye on Gage’s motionless body as he took his time kissing her soft cheek then her jawline then finally her lips. Claire returned his kiss. Then she pulled back and whispered, “I remember everything, Brig.”
He sucked in a breath. “Everything?”
She nodded.
Rudy and Beau ran up to them, interrupting.
“Make sure he’s alive. Then watch him.” Brig instructed Beau.
His man nodded shortly and hurried past them.
“The police will be here soon.” Rudy stopped next to them.
Brig thanked him then half-focused as Rudy asked questions. He wanted to be alone with Claire and be the one asking the questions. Claire stayed close to him and let him keep his arm around her, but she didn’t cling to him or lean into his chest like she would’ve done half an hour before. She didn’t contribute anything to the conversation. Even when he bragged about how she’d distracted Gage so brilliantly, she merely gave him a forced smile.
He was dying to know what her memory returning meant for them. Would new Claire be able to combat former Claire’s reservations to be with him? What if the issues that kept her from him before the head injury were too powerful to overcome? It was as if he could feel her slipping away from him like sand between his fingers. No matter how hard he tried to keep her close, she was going to fall away, and his dreams of forever with her would disappear.
* * *
Claire went through the motions, answering questions and acting like she was okay as the police arrived and a few minutes later the ambulance. Brig hadn’t killed Gage, but Gage wasn’t regaining consciousness anytime soon. The EMTs checked her thoroughly, but she refused medical help. She was fine and wasn’t going back to any hospital. She did appreciate the warm blanket they placed on her shoulders though.
Brig stayed close by her side, often wrapping his arm around her back or holding her hand. She savored each touch, wondering if it would be her last. Because now she knew. Yes, the former Claire had been stupid to pass up on an opportunity to fall in love with someone like Brig, but the former Claire had been kinder than the new, amnesiac Claire. It had nothing to do with Brig and everything to do with her. She was a selfish monster who had used Peyton to feel loved when Hazel got married. Then despite Peyton’s love and devotion to her, she’d been too hard-hearted and cold to return that love. She’d forced an ugly fight to try to get him to break up with her, and because of his devotion and concern for her she’d ultimately caused his death. His mom’s face as he died wouldn’t leave her mind. Claire had caused that pain.
Somehow, she answered all the police’s questions and kept giving Brig reassuring smiles as the memories continued to assault her. She could even see all the times Brig had been so sweet and flirtatious with her playing through her mind. She’d loved it, and she’d had a huge crush on him, but she’d never allowed herself to give in to those desires. Brig was just like Peyton. He cared too deeply for her. He didn’t think he was good enough for her, and he put himself in the line of fire to protect others. Yes, former Claire had been smarter and much kinder than new Claire. Former Claire knew things would self-destruct with her and Brig just like they had with her and Peyton. The guilt for being responsible for Peyton’s death and breaking his mother’s heart had almost consumed her. She couldn’t go down that path ever again.
Gage was hauled off in an ambulance, still unconscious, and the police’s questions were finally all answered, and they left them alone. It was over. Just Rudy and Beau were waiting for them.
“Let’s get you two back to the cabin,” Rudy said.
Brig took her arm, and they walked behind Rudy and Beau. As they approached the cabin, with its warm light spilling out, Claire was suddenly terrified. She wanted her sister. She needed someone who knew her inside and out. She needed Hazel’s rational, pragmatic, sometimes harsh opinions. Only Hazel could talk her through this. Brig had been worried when she regained her memory she wouldn’t want him. She wanted him. In fact, she ached for him, but she also understood why she shouldn’t be with him.
They walked up the patio steps and into the large great room. Nobody seemed to have much to say, or maybe they were just stoic military men who didn’t want to deal with the awkwardness and sensitivity this night had unearthed.
Claire wasn’t certain if Rudy and Beau sensed that something had changed between her and Brig or if they were upset that Gage had gotten so close and hurt her. They were good men, and she would miss being around them. She snuck a glance at Brig. Missing him didn’t begin to describe how hard it was going to be to say goodbye.
“We should probably all get some rest,” Brig said. “We can go home in the morning.”
Claire nodded vigorously. She wanted to go home, but she did not want to be alone in a car with Brig for an hour to get there. If she could get to her room, alone, Brig wouldn’t keep touching her and looking at her. She couldn’t resist throwing herself at him if he did either much longer. She took the ibuprofen and water Rudy offered her and thanked both of Brig’s men.
Rudy and Beau said goodnight, and Claire was suddenly much too alone with Brig. He escorted her up the stairs to the loft and stopped shy of her door. He turned to her and said quietly but quickly, as if the question had been waiting to burst out of him, “If you remember everything, what does that mean for us?”
Claire’s breath caught in her throat. He wasn’t giving her an easy out. “I …” She shook her head. “I’m the reason Peyton’s dead, Brig. I can’t get his mom’s face as he passed and again at the funeral out of my mind. Now that I remember all of it …” She didn’t want to say the words but she had to. Brig deserved the truth. “I can’t let myself fall for you. You deserve so much better.” Even as she forced herself to say it, she wondered if she was protecting him or herself. She hoped she was being altruistic. Brig did deserve better. A beautiful, loving woman who was whole and not consumed by guilt. This was why Claire hadn’t let herself date him. Yet now that she’d had a glimpse of how amazing he was, it was going to rip her apart to say goodbye.
Brig stared down at her, his blue eyes clouded with concern. “I don’t understand why you’re blaming yourself for Peyton’s death.” He swallowed and said, “All I know is that I love you, Claire. I’ve never felt like this about someone, and it’s not going to change, even if you never feel the same.”
He loved her? He’d said it twice now, but … No! She couldn’t allow Brig to love her. Yet she already loved him as well. She needed Hazel so much right now. “Can I use your phone to call Hazel? I need Hazel.”
Brig nodded and stared at her deeply as if memorizing her every feature. Instead of pulling out his phone, he wrapped his arms around her lower back, pulled her into his chest, and took complete control of her mouth. The kiss was full of all the passion and desire she’d come to expect from Brig, but it was even stronger than their previous kisses. He put everything into the kiss, and she couldn’t think of anything but the delicious warmth and pulsing power that his lips brought. He kissed her so thoroughly she forgot all the agony and heartache in her life. She felt like she was floating on a cloud of happiness. She never wanted to come back down.
He released her mouth but held her close. They were both breathing heavily.
“Please don’t let your guilt over Peyton’s death ruin our future. I love you,” he said again. “And nothing is going to change that.” He gave her one more tender kiss then released her and stepped back. Pulling out his cell phone, he handed it
to her.
Claire had no response. She wanted to grab him and kiss him again and tell him that she loved him too. Instead, she clung to the phone, backed into her room, and shut her door.
She hated former Claire right now.
Chapter Eleven
Brig stared at Claire’s door for a while. He could still feel her perfect form pressed against his chest, her luscious lips dancing in perfect rhythm with his own. He pushed a hand through his hair and groaned. Then he said a prayer that Hazel could somehow help Claire through this, and if the good Lord had any mercy, Claire could love him enough to overcome her fear and guilt. The woman he’d been meant to love and cherish for life had been his for what felt like half a minute. Love was a cruel beast.
Turning, he pounded down the stairs and out the side door. He ran toward the lake, ripping his shirt off as he went. Slipping out of his shoes at the water’s edge, he plunged through the shallow water and, as soon as it was to his waist, dove in. The water didn’t clear his head like he’d hoped. It gave him even more energy.
The half-moon lit the water enough to help him swim in a straight line toward the other shore. Sadly, there was nothing in the lake that could come up and bite him and shock him out of the terror of losing Claire.
Stroking through the placid water, he tried to swim fast enough to escape the voices in his head. The determined, and probably accurate voices, telling him he wasn’t good enough for Claire and, even if she could forgive herself for whatever had happened with Peyton, she’d never want him.
* * *
Claire started sobbing as soon as she heard Hazel’s voice on the other end. Hazel kept saying it would be okay and reminding her to breathe. Finally, Claire calmed down and was able to take some long breaths. She explained quickly to her sister, everything from Brig kissing her to Gage attacking them to her memory returning. She told Hazel about how horrible she’d been to Peyton and all the guilt she’d carried around for the past three years returning with the force of a jack hammer.
The Irresistible Groom: Texas Titan Romances Page 8
