“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Gideon. You don’t know what it’s like to come home one day, thinking everything’s fine, to find out the person who’s supposed to love you has left.”
His eyes darkened as she glared at him. The rage she’d been feeling recently flooded her veins and she barely took in his closed, nonchalant expression. At that moment she hated him. Hated the way he tossed women aside like pieces of rubbish when he’d finished with them. How could he not know how much it hurt to be treated like that? The venom in her veins spurred her on, even though she sensed his anger radiating back at her from his side of the table.
“How come you’re still single? I would have thought such an eligible bachelor would have been snapped up long ago.” Her tone was so caustic she almost burned herself.
To her annoyance, Gideon just laughed and brushed a hand through his hair.
“If I had a penny for the number of times I’ve been asked that, I’d be a millionaire. No, wait, I am a millionaire.”
“Such wit.” Ellie shook her head and gently kicked his leg under the table. It was impossible to stay angry with him for long. “What is it about them you don’t like?”
“Who?”
“Your women. What do they do to make you leave them?”
He snorted. “My relationships haven’t worked out for all sorts of reasons. Everyone’s different, you know.” He poured more wine into their glasses.
“Really? I’d say most of your girlfriends came from the same gene pool.”
“My love life isn’t any of your business.”
His voice was light but she detected a warning in his eyes. But she couldn’t let it drop; it was like a compulsion to push on with the conversation, despite Gideon’s obvious annoyance. “No, seriously. How do you expect to find someone you like if you keep going for the same type of woman over and over again? It’s like you deliberately pick the stupid ones so you can justify getting rid of them quickly.”
“I don’t hide and I don’t lie, Ellie. I never make them any promises.” He leant toward her now, his gaze locked with hers. She had to look away and took another pull of wine to steady her nerves.
“It doesn’t exist, you know,” she said.
“What?”
“The perfect relationship.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Look. I want to get married, eventually. I haven’t found the right person yet,” he said, flicking a grain of rice off the table.
“You’ve had a lot of practice though.”
“Hey, that’s not fair. I’m not going to just plump for the next person that comes along. I take the idea of marriage very seriously.”
“Too seriously.”
“You’re committing to this person for a long time so you’ve got to be sure.”
“Is it the longevity thing you can’t get over? You learn to love someone you know. No one is going to be the perfect partner — you have to ignore the bad stuff.”
“So naïve.”
“At least I’m open to the idea. I don’t think you are. You like the idea in principle, but in practice … ” She shook her head.
“How can you be so sanctimonious? I don’t see you getting out there looking for someone to trust again. You’ve given up. So don’t go lecturing me about not settling down.”
Despite the uncomfortable squeeze of hurt his words provoked she was determined not to let him win this.
“I’m in a totally different situation. I thought I’d have kids with Paul. I just need some time to grieve.”
“It’s been six months. You need to pull yourself together. What you need is a great shag. That would sort you right out.”
“Are you offering?” The words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them. The silence only lasted for a split second, but to Ellie it felt like hours. Her heartbeat accelerated to fever pitch and a wave of heat rushed up her neck to her face.
He looked at her steadily. “You want me to offer?”
“God, no.” Keep calm, Ellie.
Gideon leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms above his head, his gaze scanning the kitchen. “All I meant is you should go out and have some fun. Have sex for sex’s sake. Don’t read so much into everything all the time.” He looked at her as if to gauge her reaction.
Ellie was so glad he’d let her get away with her slip. “I can’t help it. It’s one of my major faults. According to Paul anyway.”
She’d had no intention of talking about Paul again, to anyone, but now that she’d started it was as if a dam had broken and she found the words just came tumbling out.
“You know the thing that really pisses me off about losing Paul?”
Gideon raised his eyebrows, signaling her to go on.
“I thought I’d found someone who could put up with all my annoying quirks. I didn’t have to hide them and pretend I was someone I wasn’t. Huh. That’s probably what drove him away. And now I’m back to square one. What a waste of time.” She flicked her hand forward in anger, knocking her fork onto the table, then rubbed the heels of her hands over her eyes. “You must think I’m a real screw-up.” She looked up at him expectantly, primed for his cutting answer.
“You’re not a screw-up, Ellie. You just expected to be treated with more respect. You were right to. He’s the screw-up.”
“Yeah, well … ” She could barely look at him. The wine they’d had with dinner had made her feel tired tonight and her head was beginning to throb. She couldn’t deal with this anymore, she was exhausted from feeling so much. “I’ve got to get to bed. I’m knackered.” She pushed her chair back from the table and stood up. “See you in the morning.”
“Yeah. Night.”
• • •
Gideon watched her walk out, stumbling against the doorframe as she passed through it. That must have been the longest conversation he’d ever had with her. They’d always been surrounded by the others before and hadn’t naturally gravitated toward each other in the group.
He felt privileged that she’d chosen to talk to him about Paul though. He’d never taken much notice of him when they were together. He’d seemed like a good enough guy, but nothing special. Ellie obviously thought he was though if the break-up had affected her this badly.
If she’d wanted to have kids with him.
For some reason this thought irked him. It must be because he’d subconsciously adopted her as the kid sister he’d never had. He was feeling brotherly protection. That must be it.
He’d never felt particularly passionate about any of the women he’d been involved with so he couldn’t really relate to her pain. Unless he thought about losing his parents, which he tried very hard not to do anymore.
He sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes before getting up and stacking the plates into the dishwasher. He felt jumpy now, which was a foreign sensation to him.
Her anger at his reluctance to settle down had rattled him. Truthfully, he’d not given much thought recently to his future. He was having too much fun in the present. Kids and family life seemed like a lifetime away.
Chapter Three
Bright sunshine poured in through the huge stained glass windows as Ellie struggled down the stairs the next morning.
The light hurt her tired eyes. Despite being exhausted after dinner, she hadn’t slept for ages after crawling into bed.
This was unusual for her. She’d been sleeping for at least ten hours a day since Paul had walked out and normally had no problem falling asleep as early as eight thirty in the evening. At one time, she would have been horrified by the mere suggestion of being in bed before midnight. Not anymore.
It had been lovely and warm in her bedroom, so she’d left off her thick baggy sweater, but as she passed through the vast hallway she began to regret not putting it on. She felt exposed without its all-encompassing comfort.
Gideon was already in the kitchen, sitting at the scrubbed pine table reading a book. An appetizing smell o
f coffee hung in the air. He looked up when she came in.
“Bloody hell! There was a woman inside those baggy clothes after all. I was beginning to wonder.”
“Very funny.” Wrapping her arms across her chest and dipping her head, she felt her body pull inwards.
Glancing up, she caught him watching her, a wary expression in his eyes.
“Are you sure you don’t mind me wearing this stuff? It must be weird seeing me in your sister’s clothes.”
He seemed to shake himself out of a trance. “No, it’s fine. You should keep them, they suit you.”
Ellie snorted. “You’re kind to be kind, but I don’t think so.”
He shrugged. “Suit yourself.” His gaze dropped momentarily to her chest before sliding away. Ellie tightened her arms around her and nodded at the cup in his hand, her nerves jangling.
“You made coffee.”
“More in the pot.”
“Thanks.”
She went over and poured herself a cup. “God, my head hurts. I knew that wine was a mistake.”
“You want to come out for a run? Get the blood flowing,” he suggested.
She nearly laughed out loud. “Nah, can’t face it.” She’d never been running in her life. She’d be a sweaty, tragic mess before they got a hundred meters. More ridiculing fodder for him.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I need to chill this morning.”
“Okay.” He shrugged and got up, shoving his chair backwards with a shriek of wood against tile. “There’s toast or cereal for breakfast.”
“Thanks.”
He nodded curtly and strode past her to the back door, trailing his spicy scent behind him. Ellie breathed it in and held it in her lungs until he’d closed the door behind him with a bang.
She let out her breath with a gasp and slumped onto one of the kitchen chairs. At least Penny will be here soon, she reminded herself. Then she could focus solely on saving her best friend from certain doom instead of putting on this exhausting front for Gideon.
After chugging her mug of coffee, she made some toast and honey and ate it standing up, leaning against the counter.
It was such a peaceful, bright room. Even though it was about fifteen times the size of the kitchenette in her flat, it still felt warm and comfortable.
She picked up the book he’d been reading and scanned the blurb. It was a thriller she’d been meaning to read for ages. She turned the book over and began reading the first page, walking over to the sofa and flopping down onto the soft cushions, drawing her knees up to her chin.
• • •
Gideon ran to try to forget the disturbing dreams he’d had about Ellie. He could barely remember any details now, but they’d had an erotic charge to them that had stayed with him all morning.
When she’d finally arrived in the kitchen, he’d had a sudden flashback to a particularly explicit part of the dream and found it almost impossible to be in her company without wanting to give in to the heat that coursed through his body.
She looked good in his sister’s old clothes.
He pushed himself harder, the blood pounding through his veins as he picked up his pace. With each breath, he tried to expel the thrust of longing that had penetrated him to the bone.
No good would come of it, he told himself, over and over until he felt the rhythm of it in his heart.
He was here to protect her, as a favor to her family. She was vulnerable at the moment and he couldn’t take advantage of that.
She was out of bounds.
He ran for twenty more minutes until he’d drained his body of the tension that had been storing up since they arrived at the house. He needed a shower to cool off. Then he’d be ready to face Ellie again with a level head.
He entered the kitchen, headed straight to the sink and downed a glass of water, leaning back against the work-surface. The coldness of the drink relieved his parched throat.
It was so quiet he could hear the clock ticking.
He put the glass on the drainer, pulled his t-shirt over his head, and threw it into the washing machine.
• • •
Ellie looked up from the book with a start. Gideon had come back into the kitchen and started to strip off his clothes.
He hadn’t noticed her sitting there quietly on the sofa.
She found herself unable to utter a word as she took in the lean contours of his body. The muscles moved beneath his skin as he worked the door of the washing machine and the book shook in her hands as she watched him twist and stretch. He had such natural grace and strength. His skin was beautiful too, gently sun-kissed with a sprinkling of freckles dotted across his broad shoulders. He was the picture of health and power.
Her body flooded with heat and she leaned forward, as if magnetically dragged toward him. The book slipped out of her trembling fingers and landed with a thump on the floor.
He turned at the noise and his gaze snagged on her. “Ellie. I didn’t see you there.”
There was a beat of silence while she forced herself to snap to.
“You’re not going to take the rest of your kit off, are you? I don’t think my heart could take it.” She was totally amazed she had the wherewithal to speak, let alone make a joke. The telltale heat crept up her neck to her face.
Bending down, she scooped the book off the floor, taking a couple of seconds to compose herself.
He was leaning back against the worktop when she finally looked at him again, his eyes dark and a frown creasing his brow. “No, don’t worry. I’m going for a shower.”
She’d never heard his voice sound like that before — husky and strained — and she squeezed her thighs together to try to quell the pull of arousal it provoked.
Pushing himself away from the worktop, he walked out without another word.
Ellie put her head in her hands and stared through her fingers at the floor in disbelief. She should not be lusting after Gideon right now. She was here to help Penny, not indulge in pointless daydreams.
He’s the antithesis of what I want.
Holy crap, this time with Gideon was really screwing her up.
• • •
The water coursed over Gideon’s body as he stood under the shower on its most powerful setting. He’d made it as cold as he could stand, but it wasn’t doing much to cool the burn of arousal that had plagued him since he’d turned to find Ellie watching him in the kitchen.
She’d looked at him with such … hunger.
He’d seen his own longing reflected in her eyes and it had shocked him. Of course, he’d seen that look before on the faces of women he’d dated, but never on Ellie’s.
It had been fine when he thought he was the only one feeling something. He was able to divert himself and put it down to a basic male instinct to want to have sex with an attractive woman. But that wasn’t it. There was something between them. Some irresistible pull that she must be feeling, too. This was going to make things a lot more complicated. If he could just think of her as something other than an attractive woman. A sister substitute, a friend, a best friend’s sister …
Dammit, it wasn’t working. He was hard as granite again. He had to find a way to break this spell, to exorcise these urges.
He took hold of his cock and moved his hand rhythmically back and forth, using the water to lubricate the motion. For these few moments, and only these few moments, he was going to allow himself to think about what it would feel like to be inside her. How her hot mouth would feel against his skin, how her firm breasts would press against his chest, how her wet tightness would surround him as he pushed himself deep …
• • •
Rosebuds, Ellie thought as she traipsed round the neat kitchen garden at the back of the house. Tulips, daisies, lavender. Filling her mind with the colorful flora that bordered the tall, red-brick walls, she attempted to banish the thought of Gideon in the shower. Thyme, mint, sage.
It was so calm and peaceful out here. A total contrast to the way she fel
t inside.
Why, oh why did it have to be Gideon who made her feel like this? Paul had never excited her in the same way. He’d grown on her steadily, working his way into her head until she found she couldn’t stand the thought of being without him. They’d had some good times — not seat-of-your-pants, living-on-the-edge, verging-on-insanity kind of times, but good times. Fun and secure and fulfilling. Or so she’d convinced herself at the time.
To her surprise, she found the pain of thinking about Paul leaving had lessened slightly since she last allowed herself a wallow. That was new. New and good. Perhaps spending some time away from Bristol was exactly what she needed. Between the fresh air and the beautiful, unfamiliar surroundings, she found herself rising above the drag of sorrow that had been dogging her since Paul had walked away from their relationship without a backward glance.
That was it. She was going to make sure she made the most of every second she had left here. Sure, Gideon was arrogant and exasperating in equal measures, but he was also fun to be around and a good friend to help her out like this. As long as she could think of him in these terms, she’d be fine.
Filled with a new determination, she turned and went back into the house. After pulling on her thick sweater for protection, she went to find him.
If they were going to go shopping this morning and get back in time to welcome Penny, they needed to get a wriggle on.
Music was coming from the direction of the sitting room and as she followed the sound, she recognized the soft chords of a guitar. She stood outside the door and listened for a moment. It was a tune she didn’t know, but it was gorgeous. A shiver ran down her spine at the joy of it.
She walked quietly into the room so she didn’t disturb him.
Gideon was sitting on a deep red chesterfield, his back turned to her, his dark head dipped as if he was concentrating hard on something on the floor in front of him. He looked relaxed, at peace with himself, and oh, so damn sexy.
He finished playing and continued to stare at the floor for a while. Ellie waited, not wanting to break the silence. She was uncomfortable with the idea of being caught spying on his quiet contemplation, but she couldn’t just walk out. She waited for a few more seconds before speaking.
Her New Worst Enemy Page 4
